Ep 32: Rewriting Your Confidence Story: Actionable Steps That Actually Work

Confidence is one of the most sought-after qualities in professional and personal life, but it’s also one of the most misunderstood. In this episode of Headflex, co-hosts Rebecca and Diane explore what really makes us feel confident, and why the advice to “just believe in yourself” so often misses the point.Drawing from years of coaching experience, they reveal the three biggest myths about confidence that regularly come up in coaching sessions like the idea that only extroverts are confident, or that fear must disappear for true confidence to emerge. The conversation covers why confidence is not a fixed personality trait, but a contextual skill that grows with self-awareness, repetition, and experience.Rebecca and Diane share practical stories, language tips, and somatic exercises to help you shift your internal narrative, quiet your self-doubt, and find your own authentic confidence style, no matter your workplace, personality, or life stage. Whether you’re recovering after maternity leave, stepping back into work post-illness, or just trying to speak up more in meetings, there’s advice here for you.As always, the episode wraps up with thought-provoking self-coaching questions to help you reflect and take action right away.Here are the highlights:01:16 Confidence isn’t a personality trait, but a skill you can grow02:47 Myth 1: Extroverts aren’t the only confident people05:53 Why comparison in the workplace is a confidence trap10:16 Language patterns that undermine your confidence and what to say instead12:37 Myth 2: Confidence is not the absence of fear, how to work with fear15:01 Real coaching example: accepting nerves in high-stakes situations19:21 The power of small actions and repetition in growing confidence20:12 Myth 3: You’re ‘either confident or not’, labels often hold us back23:18 How returning from maternity or sick leave impacts confidence24:08 Focus on strengths to rebuild confidence, instead of weaknesses26:00 Letting go of outdated labels and beliefs from the past27:27 Why “be more confident” is a vague and unhelpful feedback goal28:42 Three self-coaching questions for building confidence.If you're curious about coaching, Headflex offers a range of coaching programmes to suit different needs. 1:1 coaching, team coaching, group coaching and their Headflex in Residence programme. We also offer Headflex Lunch and Learn sessions. Visit www.headflex.co.uk to find out more. Resources:The Confidence Code - Katty Kay & Claire Shipman The Confidence Gap - Russ HarrisConnect with us at Headflex:Email: [email protected]: www.headflex.co.ukInstagram: www.instagram.com/head.flex/Connect with Rebecca Walker: www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccawalker13/Connect with Diane Williams: www.linkedin.com/in/dianewilliams1Produced by Winter Audio