Ep. 324: The Hoarder Within Us: The Psychology of Our Stuff [REMASTERED]

Dr. David Tolin is the Founder & Director of the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Institute of Living, the author of over 200 scientific journal articles & even received the Award for Lifetime Contribution to Psychology from the CT Psychological Association, but you may recognize him from the reality TV series Hoarders, The OCD Project or My Shopping Addiction. In this episode he shares what diagnosing hoarding disorder looks like, what brain scans reveal & the myth of trauma. This episode originally aired November 27, 2023.If you liked this episode, you’ll also like episode 208: TRIGGER WARNINGS: MAKING US FRAGILE OR HELPING US HEAL? Guest: https://drtolin.com/homehttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drdavidtolin/https://a.co/d/hDRDee8 Host:  https://www.meredithforreal.com/  https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/ [email protected]://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal  https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert  Sponsors: https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/ https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/  02:38 — How common hoarding really is04:05 — When clutter ≠ hoarding disorder05:00 — Why letting go feels painful06:02 — What actually causes hoarding08:00 — Attention, cognition, vulnerability10:00 — Why empathy changes everything11:05 — ADHD, brain scans, and myths14:10 — The “salience network” explained15:05 — Why clutter fades into the background16:00 — When every object feels urgent17:05 — Decision-making becomes unbearable18:10 — Avoidance as survival strategy20:00 — Why animal hoarding is different23:00 — What people actually hoard24:00 — When hoarding becomes extreme25:10 — Digital hoarding counts too26:05 — Emails, photos, and emotional pain27:00 — Objects as identity30:15 — The downward arrow technique31:20 — Why therapists and patients talk past each other32:15 — Anthropomorphizing our stuff33:20 — Why kids’ toys still haunt us34:15 — Grief as an accelerant35:20 — Stuff as memory protection36:10 — Acquiring as mood regulation37:10 — When retail therapy backfires38:15 — Emotion regulation gone wrong39:10 — Compassion without enabling40:05 — Boundaries that don’t abandon41:10 — Why insight takes repetition42:15 — Therapy isn’t one magic moment43:10 — How to stay anchored in reality44:05 — Questions that interrupt impulse45:10 — Why self-questioning works better46:15 — What “success” actually looks like47:15 — Managing vs curing hoarding48:10 — Exposure therapy in real life49:10 — TJ Maxx as a trigger50:05 — Sitting with discomfort on purpose51:10 — Rewriting your relationship with stuff52:05 — How hoarding changed his own habits53:10 — Keeping what truly serves you54:05 — Buried in Treasures and next steps55:10 — Final reflections on stuff and selfRequest to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/Follow me in all the places:https://www.meredithforreal.com/  https://www.instagram.com/the_curiousintrovert/ [email protected]://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal https://www.facebook.com/curiousintrovert