Hello, it is Cheap Show and it's another Walk About episode, what today? There's no agenda. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's a nice day And so we thought we'd have simply a picnic isn't that right? Yes But couldn't a picnic be described on some level as having an agenda you have an agenda to have a picnic I want you to drop that or use to empty your mind of everything of all purpose We have we've got one thing to do and that's to get drunk today in an unknown bit of London We get you drunk today.
Oh, this you instigated this. I think you did you say drinking I think you did a different drug. I believe that's probably that's probably because you didn't manage to pass a shop with Desperados in that's all I chose not to buy Desperados. You said vertex You know what you've changed.
You've grown up. I'm not sharing a little tea here I'm a big boy now daddy. So what we're doing today is we are in the Wimbledon part of London and we are starting at Wimbledon park and we're going to head towards Wimbledon common and along the way we've got a lot of things to eat on our Picnic things that have been sent in largely by you are lovely listeners who have sent us things in the PO box and before the Sell by day ones out we're going to eat as much as we can today and give you our thoughts on that stuff all sorts of food So we have crisps like snacks, chocolate, confectionery, soda pops, drinks I'm a bit of everything mate. How do you have any cured meats?
That's it. I might be just a little bit with it if that counter's cured meat. It does. It counts as atrefried cured, bull jerky.
Yeah mate, I'm going to need a bit of bull jerky today. I'll tell you that. Oof. I tell you it's like organic bubblegum all between my Gums.
Mmm. I'll tell you what my on the pan's mate. Talk about a salt beef wrap. Fuck me.
I've already decided jeans today was not a good plan because it's a lot hotter than I thought but yeah it gets cold every now and Then we're in the entrance to the park. There's extensive tennis courts below us as you might imagine in the old Wimbledon colours Which is you know green and then that kind of it's purple. No, there's two colours mate. Don't say like I got the colour on completely You said kind of purple.
I'm just I'm very vigilant about people looking at purple and calling it blue and I thought there was a danger of you calling it blue there It was you know some call it purple. I don't like this drift. What is it? Puse.
Yeah, it's a puse. Puse is just a terrible word Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's not a word. It is.
It's nice. It's fine. No, what? Moist puse.
A moist and sweaty puse. Puse is very moist today, everyone. What colour is it Jeremy? Wow, it is puse.
A moist puse. A moist puse with that puse. Lick the moist puse. Oh, my salt beef wrap's got a bit of hoist puse.
Oh, I've got hair coming out my pusic mouth. Right, so outside of eating things and having a lovely day out and having a drink or something. That looks like a clear knot including your dick jerky. Well, we'll see.
All you need to know is that that's what we've got planned for today. We're off on a little cheap show picnic and we'd love you. We'd really love you to come along with us. Wouldn't we?
Come on. No wait. We'll stay here until you get here. We're in Port, I've got the entrance a week ago.
A raised area. It's very nice. Isn't it balustraded? Is it?
They call it balustraded? Listen to what I'm saying. Do they call it balustraded? No.
Maybe not. Well, you don't need me for this conversation, apparently. So we're on a balcony of sorts. We're on a balcony of sorts.
We're looking out over the courts and there's an inflatable thing going over there with a theme park. You can't have fun fair. It's not a theme park. And then there's a place for kiddies and a little splash.
There's a splash. We're on a patch. You can hear the splash ball. Splishing, splashing kids.
We're going to now walk away. So we're not seeing as predatory men. So we're going to start the episode right now. Come on.
It's a cheap show picnic and you're invited. Yes, you've made that clear. Yeah, no, but that was my big stir. And then the music comes in.
They're already invited. Fine. Come on. You give me a big sign off there.
Big sign off. Thanks. But let me drop the music in this week's episode. Right?
And so that's the summary, everyone. We're in Wimbledon areas and we are going on a little picnic stroke adventure. Why don't you join us right now? Cue the music.
I will take that. Yeah, exactly. Oh, here we are. We've bedded down for our first pit stop.
Pit stop of an episode that's going to be basically just one thing. I'm stopping in various places and tasting and drinking and tasting and stuff that you, the listener, have sent in, not you specifically, you listening right now. Maybe you have. I do that.
I do. That's my phone. But this is a general you as in the gate. They're open for you to bring in.
It's not the only thing that's open. Really? Because yeah, that's it. I feel I'm one big far away from disaster.
OK, not great when you're in the middle of a field, but we are in the middle of a lovely, really well maintained. Yeah. Big field here in Wimbledon Park, not the common, the park, which joins the common in one way or another. It joins the common.
And can you see up there, Paul, these buildings, they look very much in the sort of 60s, 70s, vernacular brutalism kind of miles. I'll smash your fucking mouth out if you bring up brutalism. Why not? Because it's boring.
You do it every time. You don't bring up anything. You don't talk about anything. You talk over.
You don't talk about. You're talking about me anyway. Just did it just then. You literally do it the minute I open my flappy big mouth.
Anyway, phone again. The kid. Why are you so popular? I mean, I love what's up groups.
Not yet. Gamble is anonymous. Drink is anonymous. Drink is anonymous.
DJ Winging Group. Bollocks. Shut up. Anyway, we started our picnic in earnest.
And he's not happy about it. I tell you. Comedy Gold. Hey, mate, two things this morning.
I was sick on the way in. Didn't say that. They're like, no, because I left the house and I had a bit of a dodgy tummy this morning dropping, dropping, blushed off. OK, I was a little bit sensitive afterwards and I left the house and as I'm walking, this big, um, what's a garbage truck?
Well, a binge truck, a bin man truck. What's it called? What's the word that we use in this country for? A bin van?
A bin van. No, no, it's a bin. A bin lorry. Yeah, you said bin lorry.
A bin lorry. A bin lorry. A bin lorry. A lorry.
A lorry. So, but the pace of my walk and it stops time so that whenever I got to a certain point, it would pull up next to me. And then I'd be like, it's waft of the gutter. And I was like, oh, God.
And then it kind of went up the road ahead of me and I was like, oh, hooray. It stopped and as I got to the end of the road, it opens one of those great big, you know, dumpster type bins. And I don't know what the fuck was in that bin. It felt like the worst of anything you put in a body and comes out of body.
It is. And I, future faction. Yeah. And it was so overwhelming that a little bit of sick came out and I spat it into the drain.
Oh, so that's horrible. No, because it was horrible. I was all nauseous. You seem to be very much set off by Oda.
Yeah, when you're feeling sensitive. Oda sensitive. Because when we were horrendously hung over on that tequila with big boy in Sanja. Yeah.
The smell of our morning McDonald's. Maybe honk my God. You honked harder. I really.
I can sympathize with that. But then I was waiting for you at the station and I was standing there and two guys came across today now. This is just before you turned up. And one of them was obviously the carer for the other and the other one obviously had like special needs of some.
So I don't know what I don't guess, but it was obviously, you know, moaning and shouting and pointing and being a little whatever. And I was like, you know, and he walks past. And then this woman, little old A come look to me, not just me. Looks at the guy who was obviously, you know, very ill.
Yeah. And when you're lucky, aren't you? And then like looked at it with the kind of sad eyes, whatever. And I just said, oh, you know, I have my lucky days.
And she went, oh, no, no. And then pointed to his end and then slucked it. And then when we're lucky, honk, we. Oh, God.
And I went, yeah. And then she walked off and I was like, I mean, why come up to me? Randomly. And just go, at least we're not that guy.
Because she's lonely, maybe. No. She wants affirmation. Yeah.
Thank you. Exactly. She wanted confirmation that someone else understood that with these things anyway. I just found that weird, very strange, with stranger and like, yeah, oh, they do say it's good for random.
They say it's good for mental health to have a position of gratefulness. Well, that's why I have friends. I'm not great. Now I know you're not.
I know. And I'm drinking this for every day. You'll tell us the Apple was like, it's not nice. The smell is like you say quite to vinegary almost.
So either we can. But the flavor is like, it's like, I was up front and then it has that kind of cheap liquor backwash. Oh, I do not like that at all. Off the fog.
Put me off today. Five percent. That's put me off everything. That's put me off being a fucking functioning.
I thought this would be quite nice. Oh, it's bitter. It's horrible bitterness. Isn't it?
And the fact? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? No, I know what you mean?
That's bitter. Why does it have to be bitter like that? Bitter. It doesn't have any ingredients to it.
That's a worry. I don't have ingredients on it. It doesn't have to. It's just perfectly mixed with tonics.
Oh wait, that's the tonic. Wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
I don't understand. Is it an apple flavored liqueur in Jack Daniels with tonic, or is it an apple flavored Jack Daniels with tonic water? Jack Daniels put out flavored versions of their whiskey, don't they? Yeah, including this.
That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is.
Yes. Which are closer like your rights to liqueurs than actual whiskey because they've got additives and sugar in. But yes, one of them is Tennessee Apple. He's one of their, their liqueurs.
So they've taken that and they put it in tonic. Why do they think they would go? They would go because they're picturing your fragment. Don't do anything with their entry sign.
So it says do not have sex with pregnant women unless you're really into it. Just watch those videos. They're like, how are we going to get an understanding? Is that with the term wedding the baby's head?
Oh, God. Baby come with that with two black eyes. I don't know how you got to this level. I just don't know why that'll be someone's king to see a heavily prevalent word.
Oh, it's very, it's very central. Isn't it? The baby's not, well, they can't see you. Yeah, but it knows what's going on.
And I don't want to get language to describe it. Yeah, well, that's just horrible. I don't know. The baby hasn't consented.
The baby isn't getting sexed on. This is a trauma conversation. How about we just take our drinks and stockings or? Or can I just take you through my itinerary?
All right, go on. Quick, quick. I've been looking forward to this pic, Nick, a lot. I've got my cheap Chinese Bluetooth speaker, which is great because that means he can dominate the music choices and then put all his shoes on.
If we get a bit merry, I'll put on maybe some mellow stuff. Well, but me, why can't I ever play my music? You can as well. No, but we know I get to play one track of your character.
Now, you know, I've got me. I get to be in a bonnet about this. It's weird. It's so dominating.
Every time like it's not dominating. It's not dominating. I'm trying to like having a social media and listening to some tunes. Or it's not all on my terms.
I just told you it doesn't have to be bent over. Let me share it off. I'll let you fucking ram it. I'm gonna be so dirty.
I do it. I do it because you. Why are you being so dirty? You've been playing with fucking fucking, didn't you?
He started drinking. He's not complaining about the apple, Tennessee apple. Now he's gone ten years ago. I'll be about five percent vulgar hold drink.
Anyway, but the Bluetooth speaker and I've brought my own little pack lunch because I knew there would be nothing of nutritious value. You want to have a little look? Yeah, go on and have a little look in his little pazzy. It's like one of those, what are those in those?
No, but it's got a type of name. Hasn't it that power lunch box? It's based on a Japanese bento box or something? Is it?
I don't think it's all right. It's a segmented box. Yeah. What we've got on the left segment?
Can you even open it with your poof? What happens? I hope something hasn't. What is it then?
Is it anything wet? No, not really. I don't know why that's not coming up. Here we go.
Here we go. What we've got here then? You've got little crisps. These are funions.
This is British funions. Do you know? It's an outrage. You get funions.
They're by by walkers and they've got the same packaging as in America, but they are half the size of an American funium. And these are Max, Chili and Lime flavor. Crisp in there we go. This little pot.
What's in that? All's radish. Grapes. Oh, okay.
I thought they might be nice. Oh, and what? What's not what not? This is from the Chinese takeaway the other night.
A bit of Chasuie. Chasuie pork there, everyone. They've all been stowed lovely. What we've got on the other side, Paul?
No. Oh, we've got some coal meats, garlic sausage and... He's making it up. He's made a pick the count of this.
That's an army. Yeah. What we've got here? Sauerkraut.
Now, I want you to be eating my sauerkraut today, Paul. I don't like sauerkraut. I know you'd have to eat it as well. So some nice cheese.
Alright, so we've got you bread away for them. No. So how's that all going to go together? I'm going to fucking stuff it up.
I think you've got it all right. Also, one of these for you if you wish. Chasuie's sausage. Chasuie's so pepper army.
You tasted that. Yeah, we have. Well done that. Any time on the podcast.
You just got this for that episode. No, you haven't done it. No, we haven't. Well, I'll taste one of these.
When I eat to present a cheap show with that guy, Stanley Parable. Stanley Parable. That is the name of an independent computer game. And I think everyone knows you just said that.
It's only Parable. So anyway, it's not... Come with a name for you. I mean, Stanley used to do a podcast together.
Sheherazard, Vignoble. No, I'm not. That is a name. Sheherazard Vignoble.
Is that who used to do a podcast? Gordon Forskin. No, that's terrible. What was that in the show with a guy?
What was a segment? Gordon Smakey Bit. Was it Gordon's chunky smeg moment? Was it Gordon's crusty smeg on the outside, soft on the inside?
He used to have a segment called Smegmy Crickton Hall. No, it was called Gordon Forskins Under the Hood Segments, where he would take a cotton wool swab and just run it around the lip of his penis and just see what came out. And we check it. Check it for viruses.
Viruses. Viruses. And back to you. You're not up for being sane today, are you?
Can you start drinking? I've already called a toolbox. That's the end of the box. So you're happy with my box.
Yeah, well, what else have I got in here, Paul? I've got some other things. I know you've shown me yours. I've got plenty of booze.
Yeah, I've got booze as well. We've got food from all of our lovely people. What are we going to do now? We're going to take something and enjoy ourselves now.
We're going to come back to you. I've got something I want you to taste. Yeah. What's that?
Pickle Juice. We've done this. We've done this on the show. We've done that on the show.
Did we? Yes. No, we did. No, we did.
No, we did. No, we did. It wasn't Pickle Juice. It was a donut juice.
Either way. It was a doggie. Oh my gosh, I thought it was going to be a big doggie. We always get a dog on our picnics, don't we?
Oh, he's cutie. It's all right. Because Snowmike has an army, can't he? Yeah, I think that's what it is.
I think they found the treasure. Yes, it's all right. It's all right. But, too, he's also quite friendly.
It's not just about the food, but you know... Well, if it gets wild, I'll have to handle it. We're all right for now. Take care.
Oh, a little doggie. I want to do a podcast with a dog. I was now admit to everyone. Gordon Forskine wasn't dog.
Gordon Forskine wasn't dog. Gordon Forskine wasn't dog. Four legs, two legs, out of two legs. Out of two, all four legs.
Gordon dog. And then he used to go into the studio. We're Gordon! And then he'd rough-out him.
No, I used to egg him on to bite me, so I'd excuse my finger with the bomb. Oh my God! Naughty Gordon's Forskine. He used to have a thing called Tails from the Forskine.
We would talk about his favourite things that dropped off the tip of his penis. We're stopping. We're stopping. We're stopping.
It was only too long in this segment. We're seeing it a bit. And we're back. And we haven't moved.
We've had no strength in a chuck. I mean, we've a little bit moved, but we haven't moved through. I've moved my body. My body sometimes steves up windows from the body heat.
Steaming windows. Steaming window. Steaming windows. Steaming windows.
Steaming windows. Steaming windows. Steaming windows. Steaming windows.
Steaming windows. Oh, there's a chain. Josh off. Oh, this is a line train.
I need to ward the window. Is it? Yeah. That way's good.
No. That way's good. Yes. Christ, you're going to need to know that for sure.
We're going to have to have a picnic now. I would like the final say on the Jack Daniel, Tennessee apple and tonic. Alka seltzer. Alka seltzer.
Alka sock. Suck telling it in. Yes. It was pitch.
Bad. Pitch bad. Much worse than other Jack Daniel's products you had. No, I mean, yeah, actually.
It didn't work. And now I feel like my tummy's slightly curdled. I do not like that combination of the bitterness of the tonic with the... It will not be served with Excanen family reunion.
I don't like the show. Do you know what? I don't like the taste of tonic with whiskey. No.
No. It's not a famous trick. Is it? Whiskey tonic.
Is it? For a good reason. Scotch and tonic. I guess some people do drink Scotch and tonic.
Yeah, but I don't like that. I don't like it. I don't know. I won't have it.
The next scanning family reunion. Right. So we're going to start our picnic now. There's all sorts going on here today.
All sorts. Is it? We've had... I've got a list.
Oh, I thought you meant in the environs. This is Wimbledon Park. Over the course of today's picnic, we will be sampling things from event. We know event.
Hello, event. Hello. Karen Adam. We know Karen Adam.
Hello, Karen Adam. You hate saying that? Adam and Karen. And we've got something from the Killer Rabbit Park cast.
They brought some stuff. And... Was the Killer Rabbit Park cast also? Who we got the Transformers of?
No, that was a different... That was a bumblebee. That was a whole Transformers thing when we were out in the woods the other time. It wasn't them.
Well, there's an ice cream van over there. So... There's a fun fair everyone here on Wimbledon Park. Killer Rabbit Park cast, sent us a bunch of stuff too.
And someone called Dog and Lampost. Oh, no, wait. Dog and Lampost is something I'm going to say for another episode. Oh, they have a lot of brand brand off.
Oh, in a box. Lovely, lovely. I brought it, but I thought, actually, I know back that from around. I don't want to be an Amist, but it has started to spit.
And there was a big old Rain the Cloud over there. This blue over there. Now, I'm ready to taste stuff. You know what I have in my peripheral view?
What? Brutalism. I swear to fucking Jesus Christ, all my stuff. I just like it.
It gives you a little spice, a little visual spice for me. A lovely bit of vernacular Brutalism. Which way is that train going, then? Go back to Earl's course.
Why is it ass? You know, he's some kind of train ass. He's some kind of dream guy. What an asshole.
I'm really, I'm hungry. I'm hungry. That's what you said. You said come hungry.
You said come hungry. I want to smash him out with the heel of my shoe. You said come hungry. I am.
Come on, gree. Oh, he makes sense of your top tier patreon though. Oh, well, there's a little incentive. Although, when you go to a cheap show picnic, come hungry.
Come hungry. So we've got a mix of stuff here. So the crack, we've got crack, crack, crack, zools. We had them a while ago, prex or whites.
I think from Caronado, killer rabbit of scents. There's funny mochtadon you want. There's other ones we're picking and choosing. No, I'm having a crack, Daniel.
Caronado will take dying bar. Oh, now that has perked my interest, percolated, like coffee. Indeed. Now let's just do sound effects.
That's a duck now. Is that a duck making a bobby dog? Oh, he's full garbage, everyone. There's visible droplets of saliva.
Got caught in the wind. Are you sure you're getting picked up? Because it looks like the muffins towards me. No, the muffins are waving in a go.
The muffins are waving in a go. Yeah, it's all good. It's teeny tool come out. That's teeny one for me.
Oh, yeah, I've had my teeny. I don't have another one in a second. And then so wait. Classic God won the Bays May snack.
Now it's sort of out to throw up because they were crushed and stale. And this is the only one I rescue, which is awesome oinks. Which I like those little rings you add. Funnier rings.
No. Like, would you know, bacon. Slava. And then if I baked not fried, finally Paul Ganon has brought along something called kettle chips, be one of kettle chips.
These are sriracha mayo. And someone sent us a photo of kettle chips that are doing a deal in jalapeno. Which we are on the case. Yeah, so they must be diversifying their flavour roster.
For some reason. Yeah. Everyone is, aren't they? And that's what gives us good content.
But sometimes you just think, what a crazy world of different flavour variants for every brand. One of them waits for world. And they're all going to have their own movies. Kettle chips, the movie.
Blue Rarsmuller corner, the movie. I'd pay to go and see that. Well, you'd be only fucking one. But on a serious note Paul, don't you think there's a lot of flavour diversification?
Why? Don't give up. I'd want drinking, I'd want to give up. I'd just want to roll over.
What I do? I want to like, come on. And come on, drink through it. And you've got a red ball.
You don't even have a red ball. Ah, I had a coffee. Right, what do I start with? What do you think is going to be the least interesting?
Awesome, all right. Okay, let's go for the audience. Boinks. Hey, hey, hey, don't waste the snuff.
It goes away. This is an alfresco cheapy, if you like. And we're going, the first official item of the picnic. I'm enjoying a Jack Daniels with Coke Building.
Oh, I'm going to have a Jack and Coke then. I'm going to have a Jack and Coke. Now, there you go. Cheers.
Cheers. Woo-hoo. Chuff and Chuff. Thanks for joining us everywhere.
That comes to the station. It sits on the platform for masturbation. Here comes the postman with his bag of his post onto the train there. He likes the most chuff and chuff and chuff.
Here is the train driver going to town. This street line is his usual round. Chuff and chuff, chuff and chuff. Here is the train comes into the station.
All the people, all the commotion is at the train. This is the age of the train, Chuff and chuff. Ladies and gentlemen, the poet laureate Paul Gannon. That's me.
You want to poem about the tree? Yeah, all right. I'll ruffle the ruffle. I'll ruffle the trees.
I'll wind the debris and the tree and me. We're sitting there on the cloud of grey. And a cloud of grey. Sun may not be here today.
But me and the trees are here. We're hugging the bark. Oh, yeah. Having a laugh.
Just having a laugh. And with my tree, my favourite friend. Oh, my tree. It might be best this.
What am I getting off this? You know? Ruff razzles. Yeah, pure flazzles.
Well done. Just to remind everyone, we're on all some golden one. There are some oinks. These are your right little corn hoops.
Very much like a brick. They've got a white bits on. It's a hook. Can you see that?
They've got flex. They're all like flex. I don't like flex. I don't like flex.
Better than I thought they were going to be. Yeah, they are. Nice and salty. Aren't they?
Really salty. Very salty. Really salty. Come on.
It's got the flex. Jesus. Rapes you little bait on it. Put salt on it.
So where's those little things? Do we make a little thing that's how much salt or something? Yeah. Listen to that.
Oh, I'm used to see those little ogos. Per 100 grams or per pound. Oh, you are OK. Almost a gram of salt in the pan.
0.73 grams. They're all right. They're all right. Nice.
Not bad at all. Right, next. Drexel pieces. Honey mustard onion.
I had crack sauce before. It was the garlic bread one. They were underwhelming. Oh, not garlic bread.
Such a kind of oinky flavor. Oinky was the name of the crispiest taste. I mean, is that the word? I know, but it doesn't work.
Anyway, it doesn't really smell the funny mustard. There's a crow on the lookout. Fucking tea. The dog came back, by the way.
The dog came back. It wasn't sweet. Oh, the dog doesn't. Came back to eat it up or my hula.
Stop. Why? How? And week after week.
Right, little bird talk came up, didn't it? No. You don't get the dog you bird talk. Oh, shut up.
Did you see? You showed me a sweet one like this. No, don't get the shot. I'm going to have a pretzel piece.
He's doing his own podcast. I'll do it this week. The naughty one full of rude words like Willys. Right.
Fine. Quite nice. You get the sweetness. Oh, I like them.
And then a bit of a mustard flavor. And a onion flavor. No, they're fine. They're not offended.