This is a bloody rough rough outright. Did he? What? Give me, give me coming here.
I'll tell you show you a rough rough. I'm wallering around about petunias. Yes, I'll do that. You need to do the cartooning later.
I'll do the guttering, ya fake lung. But come in here for a second, will you? All right, come in. I'm coming.
I'm coming. What do you want? There you are, Jimmy. Come over here.
Look at this. Yes, it's a newspaper. I've been reading this article all the time. It's rough, rough.
Yes. It says top, up, and coming. Comatry podcast. Yes.
Rough. Yes. Number two. Yes.
I like it. Number two. Frift, pard. What's that?
What's what? Frift, pard. I don't know what a frift pard is. Join, Saul and Levi.
What? And a cast of hilarious characters. What's this? Such as what?
Don McNubbin. I know that, Don McNubbin. And Andre Brandtost. Andre Brandtost.
He's the reason we're living on a roundabout. Well, I kind of do like it on a roundabout. I like it too. I like it.
I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it.
I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it.
I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it.
I like it. I like it. I like it. ankle andrus.
Up kick. Ow, fuck. Im mean. Oh, come on.
The crawling around like a little worm. Ruff-ruff. So anyway, I got distracted. You want to go out and talk about this?
Let's download them now and listen and see what we can see. We could just stream them. Peeze them. I need to look after them.
I don't think I'll do the cartooners looking. Oh, they're looking like a weem. Good cartooners. They're the best batoners.
I'm going to enter them into a queue garden. Ah, yeah. Ruff-ruff-ruff-ruff. Right.
Listen to this. See if they're plagiarizing with them legally. You can get them. You're a lawyer, right?
Sometimes. I remember. Exactly. So, Ruff-ruff, listen to them.
Now, I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. People love noodles. Is it a factory show you're going to have to learn the fucking accent? Cheep show.
Ruff-ruff-ruff. Cheep show. It's a place of shit. Or Ganon.
Be like Silverman. It's a cheap show. And a girl and a nuzzle. Well, that might have been our funniest cold open ever.
Hello everyone. It's cheap show and I am Paul Ganon. I'm Eli Silverman. It's good to be back again, Paul, for another week, another week of absolute parlava.
Oh, an absolute giggle box of cheap treats and tat. Oh, Mr Silverman. I'm going to do that bit where you're going. What?
About what? Don't you say do no. That stuff you do. Oh, I'm going to be not coming in.
Welcome to Cheap Show. The Economy Comedy Podcast. We go for the bargain pins, charity shops and power lines. I'm bringing another edge to it.
I'm giving a kind of tiger. How's that? No. Come on now.
You're not connecting anything in your brain. I'll tell you what, I'll connect. You're a fishy. You're a gooch.
You're going to punch my gooch. I'm going to donkey punch your gooch. Yes. Mr Silverman.
I will wind you. I'll wind out of your nuts and out of your mouth. Oh, then what? And then just put it all back in.
I will not talk to you. Why? Because you'd have hurt me. Hurt my gooch.
Yeah, but you hurt me every week mentally. No. You don't apologize for that, do you? No.
Well, hold on for pointing at something. Go on. Something's going to happen next. And then just wait until I know.
I've got nothing anymore. I've got nothing anymore. You had a tale from the dance floor. Oh, I do.
Let me just, whatever. Before we get to that. Hello, I'm going to show you. Hello, I'm going to show you again.
I'll fucking start you again. I'm going to show you the rest of what little juice it had before. There was a little matter. I'll fucking show you juice.
I'll give you juice. I'll give you juice. He's checking his fist at me. I'll give you juice.
Can I say something without resulting in you saying? Come on, man. Well, I don't know what to say now. I'll give you what I don't say now.
I'll give you what I don't say now. I'll give you fucking give you that. I'll give you. I'll give you fucking do it all to say.
Oh, that's it. What's, erm, what? I think we should start this. No, I'm enjoying watching you suffer.
Come on. Say a sentence. You're a big boy now. Hello, everyone.
I'm going to show you what we were doing on the show this week. Who gives a shit about that? It's going to be some shit someone sent you. So you don't have to do anything.
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
You don't do anything. I swear. I swear. So forgive me.
I swear. Forgive me for leaning on the kindness of all listeners. I find a sort of sentence for this episode. I invent phrases that are at the cold face, the old cheap show, cold face, digging in a scratch, digging in a weave.
And a digging in a scratch. All you need to know, mate, is that if you've got to complain about me, it's slacking off. That is good. Oh, I'll give you that.
I'll give you it. I'll give you it. Slack it off. I invent phrases.
Right. We're doing off-brand brand off this week with an incentive off-brand brand off item. So we'll be doing that. I find sources from which to us to edit.
Yes, mate. Thank you for holding the podcast with those wonderful words. Sources and words and phrases. Two things.
Two things I am responsible for. I like my little pinned topic bubbles. You know? Yeah.
And I think I contribute a lot with those. So topic, pent up, topic, bubble. Things. You want me to step in, mate?
And I don't know. Throw a sentence in there for everyone. So I do that. Shocking a sentence, Paul.
Hello. My name is Paul Gannon. Welcome to the economy podcast. We go for the bargain business challenge.
We bring you the treasure. We find amongst the treasure amongst the trash. Now, with all that out of the way, I just want to say we are doing a live show. If you go to our website, the keeps.co.uk, we are doing a live show as part of the Cheerful Eiffel Podcast Festival, November 4, South London, Saturday, November 4, Stretum, 230 in the afternoon.
Stretum, Stretum. Now, go to our website for tickets or just look up Cheerful Eiffel Podcast Cheerful Podcast Cheerful and here's the other thing. Tickets are limited only on the seats. And it's a team episode with the digitizer.
So Piffo and Sam is going to be there with sharing the show. And I'll just say it's going to be the last time we do a live show for a while. Because next year we've got plans. We've got plans.
Yeah. So just tell them we're going to do the album, the vinyl album. I'm hopefully going to do a one hour TV style episode of Cheerful. So no live show.
No, because we can concentrate on that. Okay. Yeah. And then five wonder if we might do a live show again or before.
I don't know. Either way. I'll give you it. Anyway.
I thought it was going to be versus. Yeah, it is. Digitizer versus Cheerful. Right.
So come on. I'm going to do a show of stage and do an episode of our collective shows together. And it's a wonderful venue. And we're going to put on a good show.
You know, so come along. Take a limited get the while you can. Only about 12 quid. I think it's all.
It's 2.30 in the afternoon. The dentist. Oh, it's the dentist. Oh, because I have a sort of tendency kind of nap around that time.
So can I nap? Can I nap? Actually, no. Take tag team.
No, tag team. We can have a nap. I'll tap out when I want a little shush-nush. A little snooze.
I'll fucking give you. Tap out. I'll be like, oh, I'll give you tap out. I'll give you tap out.
Oh, I'll fucking give you tap out. If you have a little nap, Eli, when Biffle and Samuel do anything on stage, do that. Okay, I've done that before. I will put your hand in a bowl of water when you're sleeping.
To make you wet your kex. Myth. Myth. That's a myth about putting your hand in water.
Is it? Absolute. In that case, I just pissed on you. I mean, that'd be more of a prank.
I'm just like, oh, I'm a prank, yeah. Why? I've pissed on you. I know.
I've got a pissed on you. It's in line, isn't there? Is it really a prank? It's a physically hurt someone.
I've got a shower for you before the show. Have a quick shower, but I've loaded the water tanker with my piss. I probably wouldn't notice. It's probably not.
It's depending on how old the piss was. It's a couple of weeks of stagnant piss. Oh, then I've noticed it. It'd be rich with a cloudy.
It'd be like a tanning tea. Yeah, that kind of texture. I know, because we used to have to piss in cans of Coke and then because it was late at night. Yeah.
And keep putting them in the cupboard. So I've seen piss in all stages of being left in the can of Coke. And now it's time for Eli's Tales from the dance floor where he regales with the story. I'm not talking about that.
Eli, please now continue to tell your story now. No. No, this isn't the dance floor. It's almost absolutely covered.
Put those mini cans. No, I don't want piss no more. You have a Tales from the dance floor. You know, there's mini cans of the minute.
I would like you to now continue to do so and do it. You don't see those mini cans so much. They say no. They tell your story or they'll be no story at all.
Tell you the dance floor. Yes. Okay, Paul, this is not a Tales from the dance floor. Good.
I was DJing and... Right now I can't. No, don't cancel it. You cannot cancel it.
Well, then do it. People love to hear it's my whole... It's my little enclosed... Enclosed...
Enclosed subject bubble. I thought it was closing... Stop saying that. I love it.
Subject bubble. Now, tell us in the dance floor. I was DJing. Sure.
The other is... What venue? It's a soft G sound in the middle of that word. Sure.
A whole lot of my finger over this bottom. I'm going to hold off my finger over this bottom. I'm going to hold off my finger over this. I can show you.
Put this according. Any point I feel like you're just not going to leave a story. I'm going to stop this. I'll deliver the story.
Don't hover your finger, threateningly over the bottom. Don't hover your finger, threateningly over the bottom. Well then do it. Do it.
Just do it. walked up to me and there was two incidents. God please. It was actually two incidents, Paul.
Firstly, a pair of young ladies, because the bouncer is someone I haven't worked with before, who guards the stage. Usually the old hands who have been working there for a year or more, door people, security staff should I say, they know not to let any old bastard or anyone up on the stage because they just don't, they know it's useless, they're going to bother me. And there's expensive musical equipment on the same thing, absolutely fucking agony. Yes, so this is the background of the story, it's because the door person wasn't as experienced that these people were allowed up to give me, give me bother.
Right. And they say, can you say happy birthday to Simon? Is this 30 of us? No.
I said, I don't have a microphone. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, don't have a microphone here. I don't have a microphone here.
I can't say it. Yeah. Oh, because you get, there's anyone going to be here later. You could say happy birthday for you, don't have a assignment.
And I went, the band, you could talk to the band. And they go, no, could you, she goes, could you say it? Could you, and it's like what you specifically? And yeah, I did what people always advise me to do in these situations, which is agree to it.
Yeah, and then not to do it. Yeah, it's what I've been saying for years. I did it, Paul, at the end of that, I went, oh, yeah, I'll say it. And they went, and it's like, oh, I've got to say shit.
That's one story. And a bit later, an Irish young lady came up to the decks, I did, leaded, Lee, and had a request for a particular rock and roll artist. 20 points if you can guess which one? Gary Glitter.
That's not rock and roll. I think it's rock and roll. Why just go, oh, you get it, you get it. It's me, you get it.
OK, give me some parameters. Get some parameters. What parameters are there? Was it a 50s artist?
Rock and roll. Yeah, but 50s rock and roll? That's the only kind of rock and roll it is. Oh, there you go.
I think you're in the right area. Something like that, isn't it? What would they know, because there's been a huge musical and film about this particular star who's white as well. A white rock and roll star.
Elvis. No. No, he was one, though. He wasn't, though.
I don't mind an Elvis request. This is someone who I personally, in the pantheon of great classic rockers, I personally don't rate that much. Jerry Lee Lewis. Good.
Yeah. He's better than this guy, I reckon. I don't like all of Jerry Lee Lewis's music. I like some of his music.
Oh, great balls. If I, uh, I'm on these. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, that's a good one.
They're on fire. Put that back up to me. Put that back up. I've got big balls and they're on fire.
Put up, put up my balls. They're hot, oh balls. Goodness gracious. The balls are on fire.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I've got balls and I've got to go by my mouth. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And then I go down deep down and sound.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And then I slurp. And then I burp. Goodness gracious godling a Man's Balls, see?
I'm godling a Man's Balls. I'm going, going, going, going. All right, so I don't know who the artist is. Please tell me.
Bellyholly, fair enough. But ooh-ew oh, I look just like Buddy Holley. I find it annoying the way Buddy Holley goes. A bit.
That's an annoying sound. It looks good. It looks great. If you do, a peggy single.
If you do a peggy single. Is that what the British one sounds like that as well? If you do well. And if you don't well Murray, he won't.
If you don't well Murray, he won't. If you do well Murray, he won't. If he wants to, you know, baby. If he wants to, he won't.
If he wants to, he won't. If he wants to, you know, he won't. He won't, he won't. If he wants, he won't.
Well, anyway they asked for that. And I said, no, right. And they looked at me and I went, no. I got a sweat on that one.
And they went pleading me, looked at me and then I went, no. And then she went, why? I said, I don't like Buddy Holly. Okay.
And she said, fair enough. Ooh, ew, I do not like Barry Hardy. And then she asked for... Barry Hardy?
Barry Hardy? No, he's a brother. He's a son to the earth, he's Barry Hardy. Yeah, it was a lot.
He couldn't trust him. Now Barry, sold to the earth. Absolute staunch soldier to the earth. What's a great guy?
Oi, Barry, always gives you an odd noise. Always there for you. If you need to borrow money, give him the weight. He fucking flies out of his wallet.
Good old Barry. Barry Hardy. Barry Hardy. Fucking God bless you.
God bless that man. Is that your story, though? No, no. She's...
She said... Oh. And then she asked for... This is the end of this anecdote now.
And segment. So I've said, no, she said fair enough. I don't like Buddy Holly. I say, Barry Hardy.
Ooh. And you're Mary Tyler Moore. Hey! Come on.
We're nearly there. There's something nearly there. We are. Fourteen minutes.
And then she said... What about move on up by Curtis Mayfield? I didn't want to play it. Yeah.
Because it wasn't really going with what I was playing. I was playing classic rock and roll these stuff. So Buddy Holly is a fair enough thing. And then I said, no, the band played that one.
Sometimes they do. They do with clever. Sometimes they do. It's amazing strategy now.
Good. That's deflection strategies. Which people would probably... Oh, I don't know if the band has that on there.
And then I'm told not to. So I do do some of that sneaky deflections. I like that. I don't...
I don't trick the trade. I'll give you a... I'll give you a... I'll give you a...
I'll give you a... Listen, no violence around Barry. No, I don't like violence. I think it's a very violent policy, Barry.
He really does. Yeah. But you know, he said he's a great blip. But you just don't want to upset him.
That's the problem, Barry. He really don't. I've seen him as well. He really rips people apart.
I've seen him fucking take out people's teeth. He takes thumb and thumb finger. I've seen that as well. I think that's a party trick.
Try to call him the dentist, isn't it? The dentist is Barry Harty. 230. Now.
I'm right now editing this at home. Why could we wrap this up earlier? And then this is the little punch line. She asked the move on up by Curtis Mayfield.
I say the band will play that. They didn't. It's fine if you have your birthday party in a place. It's cheesy when everyone's like, erm, it's birthday.
It's tacky. Before we end this segment, I was like, happy 31st birthday to Simon Adams. It's been a long time. We've listened to the show.
I'll give you a fucking birthday. Fuck you little mate. Let's crack up. All right.
Sounds like classic cheap show to me. Say, bold shit. Say, bold shit. Hey, I'll give you say, bold shit.
They'll be saying that. It's very funny. If you want to do the cotter in now, I'll just keep listening. Is that all right?
I'll just need to listen to the other podcast first. It's extraordinary. Is it Thursday? No.
If it's Thursday, it's Saturday. It's definitely Thursday. Wait, well, just don't bother with the cotter in answer to me. Come on, let's listen to this.
What is this bloody new thrift party to see if it's fine? Let's give it a go. It won't be very good. Hello, I'm Levi.
And welcome to thrift party. Oh, go. Hello. Fucking thrift party there is another fucking week of thrift party.
It's the only tack retro based podcast of fucking masses. I'm so over there. Is that what you're going to do? Is that your intro?
Is it? Oh my gosh, I'm bowing it for it. I fucking come over there. I'm fucking hit.
Or you have me, will you? I'm going to hit me. I'm fucking mentally abused. You're going to mentally abuse me.
I'm fucking fidget. I'm just waiting for that. No, I'm fucking kidding me. No, I'm fucking kidding me.
I'm just trying to get this red hot pucker. I'm fucking stick it in your bum hulk ear gear. That's gross. I don't know why you didn't say that.
Fuck off. Can you smoke mice the riff, ruff, bring wrong. Fucking shut up. What are we going to do?
What the fuck? What the fuck? What about the fucking taillow? I like it.
So welcome to thrift party, everyone. Leave, I don't know. Right, we got fucking... We got fucking...
Before that, you know why we... Fuck. Tell me what? Why are we the fucking best fucking comedy cheap stuff?
Fucking podcast, are we? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at the fucking times. I fucking times are in the top.
We're in the number two. In the times. I fucking comedy fucking podcast. That's because Brandosky's put a good word for it.
In it. It's got all the coffee. So thank you to all our listeners. And our way with the upper comments.
What else are you coming up? I'm going to tell you about the show. We got a fucking great show for you guys. Fuck all right, today.
What, we got? We got a special... Are you ready as your mouth ready? No, I...
Is your mouth ready? Oh, wait, wait, so... Receive you. Oh, I got fucking spunking to it.
I will. Oh, here we fucking go. We spunk again. I'm so worried.
We got real deal or bad meal. That's the fucking segment of the show. Right? I've got something like this.
I've got some people who people don't fucking know. It's like the section of the show where we taste two different versions, right? I've seen it as a product, right? And it's like having a real deal.
It's like a real one. Oh, it's a bad meal. It's a real... Real, real or bad deal.
I will give you what you need to know. Get it right. Fuck you. Oh, you've got...
Oh, no. Oh, hard to get after. Oh, yeah. I've got a Levi's disco diary.
It's going to be fucking the same as it always fucking is. Oh, fuck this. I was DJing at this little nightclub. The spruce goose.
I do. Fuck down again. I just called the fucking spruce goose. I go back on it a fucking yes.
What's it fucking? Is it fucking goose things? Yeah, it is. There's a big fucking goose on the roof.
Oh, come on. Oh, please, oh, I don't understand. Geez. What's all that about?
I'm fucking... I don't know. We're not Geez. Anyway, I'm DJing.
And this girl comes up to me. And you know what she said? Oh, oh, no. What did she say?
She said to me, have I got five star? I told her, fuck off. Fuck off. Okay.
Okay. That is a fucking rail of Coke. Right. Is that...
Off her spine. Oh, good. Fucking good. Yeah.
Right. So... That's my disco diary. Fuck right.
Fuck right. Fuck right. I just go diary. I will see you after the fucking sound of it.
Really? Fuck it. Shut up. Really?
Fucking shut up. Give me. Can you believe that? It just keeps you.
What's shit? Jimmy, I've never been so angry in my life. I can't believe this. I can't believe this.
They're a couple of never... They're stealing everything. Tell us when they're down slowed. This is the diary.
You've got the... You've got the name of Brand Brand Off. You've been thrown out. That's where I get my knowledge.
We can get your knowledge. If the hands have been successful, you can forget about my Brand Brand Brand Off. If they are successful, Jimmy. What are they gonna do?
Let's just keep listening. Let's keep listening. Alright. I've got any of them open.
We've got some normal Scripture. Oh, yeah, let's do that. Bam. Bam.
Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.
Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.
Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.
Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.
Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.
Do you understand that human beings need to listen to this podcast? Do they? Do you ever listen back and hear yourself do moments like this. because you should.
You know what? It should be deeply embarrassing that you behave like that. I think shame is useless. You've got it.
It's what's shamelessly useless. It's useless emotion, isn't it? Why is it? Why is it?
It's not people just getting their cocks out in front of strangers. That's a big part of shame, isn't it? There is that. Are you telling me you would like to just swap it out for the other person?
I'm just saying what's the point feeling shame? You've done something, you did it. That's what I'm saying. You can't do it.