Ep 36 - "I Abandoned Myself": Monika Molander on High Achievement, Trauma & Healing

Monika Molander spent three decades trying to earn love through achievement: top universities, a career at Google and Meta, and relentless perfectionism. From the outside, an impressive life. On the inside, an unshakeable belief that she still wasn't enough.In this episode of Speak Shame, Dr Connie talks to Monika, self-leadership and embodiment coach and survivor, about the eating disorder she developed as a teenager, the sexual abuse she experienced while living abroad, the years she spent unable to leave a damaging relationship dynamic, and the depression that finally brought everything to a halt.And about the retreat in Costa Rica that changed everything.Monika's message: you cannot think your way out of shame. Healing comes through self-discovery, through being witnessed in your story, and through understanding that the shame we carry is never just ours.Expect a warm, deeply honest conversation about perfectionism, belonging, generational trauma, and what it really means to stop performing for love and start living from it.00:00 Content Warning01:03 Meet Your Host01:36 Introducing Monika02:39 Chapter One Costa Rica04:18 Roots of Not Enough06:22 Achievement as Armour10:43 Control and Eating Disorder13:28 Chasing Approval and Belonging18:24 Sexual Abuse and Shame Spiral24:09 Loss Surrender and Retreat Call29:06 Self Love Breakthrough34:25 Coaching and Shame Healing39:56 Leaving Corporate to Coach44:33 Advice for Feeling Stuck46:50 Where to Find Monika47:52 Remarkable Women and Closing MONIKA MOLANDER·      Instagram: @MonikaMolander·      Website: TheSelfLovePath.com UK SUPPORT SERVICES•      In an emergency, dial 999; for non-emergencies or dial 101 (UK only)•      Find your nearest NHS Sexual Assault Referral Centre•      Find an NHS Talking Therapy service near you or contact your GP surgery•      Charities: Mind, The Samaritans, Rape Crisis, Women’s Aid, or Victim SupportGET IN TOUCHJoin the community:@StoriesWithoutShame on InstagramSign up for the Stories Without Shame newsletter to join the movement.