Ep. 360: FETISHES: Why We Hide What Turns Us On (& Questions You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask)

What's the difference between a fetish, a kink, and just really liking something? Where do fetishes come from? Niki Davis-Fainbloom’s entire job is to help people make peace with their fetish. She holds a masters in psychology, studied sex therapy at the Kinsey Institute & has been working with clients for 8 years. She’s also the author of Fetish: smash taboos & celebrate what turns you on. In this episode, you’ll hear about some of the more unusual fetishes, where fetishes come from, where we draw the line in ethical fetishes (Race? Disability? Yikes!), the difference between a kink & a fetish, why people hide what turns them on (& what happens when they don’t). If you liked this episode, you’ll also like episode 286: WHAT IS MEDICALLY ASSISTED SEX [REMASTERED]? Guest:https://a.co/d/0165o2Qg https://www.instagram.com/missbloomsexeducator/ https://www.facebook.com/niki.davis.7https://www.nikidavisf.com/about-niki https://x.com/nikidavisf?lang=en Sponsors: https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/  00:00:56 — What Actually Makes Something a Fetish (vs. Just Being a Preference)00:03:50 — Fetish vs. Kink: What's the Difference?00:04:27 — Unusual Fetishes: Vore, Macrophilia, and the Wet Floor Sign Guy00:08:46 — Balloon Fetishes, Online Communities, and SizeCon00:09:57 — Where Do Fetishes Come From? The Conditioning Theory00:12:34 — The Baby Fetish, Pregnancy Kink, and Stress as a Factor00:15:23 — Culture, Decades, and How Your Childhood TV Shapes Your Desires00:17:02 — Japan's Panty Vending Machines: Normalization and the Fetish Question00:19:47 — The Most Common Fetishes by Volume00:21:21 — Sneezing Fetishes, Feet Everywhere, and the Can't-Unsee Phenomenon00:25:15 — The Neuroscience of Foot Fetishes: Somatosensory Cortex and Amputation Studies00:27:38 — Is There a Genetic Component? Dopamine, Novelty-Seeking, and Risk00:30:11 — Disgust, Arousal, and Why Evolution Had to Make a Compromise00:32:45 — Fetishes and Trauma: Separating Myth from Reality00:34:28 — Rape Kink, Survivors, and Reclaiming Control00:35:38 — Is Shame Part of What Makes a Fetish Work?00:37:50 — Grindr at the RNC, Anti-Gay Preachers, and the Forbidden Fruit Effect00:40:08 — Tools for Working Through Shame: Postponing Worry, Self-Compassion Letters00:43:42 — How and When to Disclose Your Fetish to a Partner00:50:51 — The Ethics of Fetishes: Race, Disability, and Objectification00:55:21 — DSM Paraphilias, Non-Consent, and Where People Can Get Help00:57:31 — AI Romantic Partners, Dirty Talk Experiments, and the Capitalism Interruption01:02:32 — Niki's Documentary, the Book, and Where to Find HerRequest to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/Follow me in all the places:https://www.meredithforreal.com/  https://www.instagram.com/the_curiousintrovert/ [email protected]://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal https://www.facebook.com/curiousintrovert