It takes 72, Eli, please present me with a cold open. Okay, what am I meant to do? Be entertaining and go to the listeners. I don't like this, I don't like it, we're getting the deep end and it's hard, it's hard for me.
I've actually had quite a difficult, quite a boozy weekend. Oh, oh no, this never happens on a almost weakly fucking basis with you. This is, why don't you just not drink? Are you not strong enough?
Is that what it is? You're not strong enough. You're a weak minded man. We're not going there, why don't you just not smoke, why don't you just not smoke?
Why don't you just eat, why don't you just not eat? Take away coffee lids, bit by bit. Why don't you just not do that? I'm going to be right.
Why don't you just not let me clean your room up and then solve your man up. I will use this podcast is over. Jordan Peterson, clean up my room. Open up.
Don't tell me what to fulfill a traditional male role in a second. If I was under who'd take all I'd be crossed, for no fucking reason. I am cleaning my room, it's working progress, I like to say. Is it?
A pickle work in progress. Yeah. Scrub off the pickle juice. Like, well, he's gone, so let's just go straight into the credits.
No, just ask me one question. All right, do you have Mr. Silverman. Do you have?
Graffle Traffle. I haven't finished the question. Sorry, sorry. Eli, Jason Simpson.
Do you have any scruffle truffles? Oh, yeah. Right, well, the cheap show. That's the fucking credit.
One bread on. All go, go. Eat your silver. Welcome to Jeep Show.
Sources and Word of Praises. Two things I'm responsible for. Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, boroth. I hate you, you've got to lose a costume.
Jeep Show to the boroth. It's the boys of shine. I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy. It's the boys of shine. Jeep Show to the bowline.
It's a cheap show. You can rock it, you can knock it, you can go to Timbuktu, but you'll never find a Nessie in a zoo. Hello, welcome to Jeep Show. The Stowdger podcast, I like to remind you of things in the past that you might not remember, but you might remember.
We're here to talk about what you may or may not remember. Did you know? Do you remember Renticoats, Eli? Do you know there was a brand of crisps?
Yes, I do remember Renticoats. No, put that in the box. There was a poof-flavored walker in 82. No, they were three months.
Yes, they were. I found out. Was there? Yeah.
I found an open packet of poo walkers. Right here. I bought an eBay for £174. They do know they actually had a brand of KP crisps, corn puffs.
Eli, do you remember? Do you remember Micky? Do you remember Micky? Do you remember Micky?
Yeah, it was a shit-micky as well. If all you've got today is... This thing's made of poo. Look, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages.
Why do you say boys and girls like that? Why do you say it always? I think I'm being ironic, but actually I put it so many times. I'm just this verbal tick.
I just don't like saying, hey, guys. What's wrong with that? It's weird. I don't like it.
Guys, guys, I don't like it. Hello, folk, Paul. Welcome to Cheap Show, the economy comedy podcast where sometimes we get to the point and this is a show where we go through the bargain, the charity shops and powerlands of Great Britain and blah, blah, blah, and Paul's mentally giving off this week. You can stop.
You have. You so have. Mate, they can't all be winners. We go to shops and stuff.
Right? That's enough of that. Right? Right, the back?
You literally did that. You literally went... I say you're right. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Right, the back? That was good. I know.
It's all right. But that was... Well, you do look like if you'd cross puzzle faulty with Manuel. Literally, if you put the two of them together, you'd get you.
Mine means you're funny. You're the funny towers. I do remember the funny towers. Apparently it's the best sitcom ever made.
Only 12 episodes. I know what they say. If you want to make the best sitcom ever, you only make 12 episodes. Young ones.
The office. Yeah, they only make 12 of the ones. Office was longer than that. No, the original office was two sick episodes seasons and then a Christmas special one.
That's 13 episodes. That's why the office is fucking shit. Anyway, I've got something to say. What's coming up on...
Do you remember Alfonso? No, Alfonso. No, I don't remember that. The kids TV show.
Let me tell you all about Alfonso Bonzo. Is it made by the same people who did Mr. Ben? No, because it was a live action drama thing.
That was a bad Bongo. No. I mean, Alfonso Bonzo. No, I remember that.
The kids TV show. Let me tell you all about Alfonso Bonzo. Is it made by the same people who did Mr. Ben?
No, because it was a live action kid's drama thing. That would be... That would be Bongo. No.
If Alibongo has nothing to do with Alfonso Bonzo. It's the same with a name. Bonzo Bonzo Bonzo. Stick it up.
You can't go. I'm Manfred Obardano. I'm Ben Obardano. I'm Ben Obardano.
I'm Ben Obardano. I'm Ben Obardano. Count of all snoot-them. Smooth my bum.
I'm a Bongo man. Right. Was it anything we wanted to use this part of the show for? I wanted to ask you something.
Yes. Okay, can I? Yes. What have we got coming up on the show today?
Today we've got coming up on the show A Price of Shite given to us by a PO box delivery. Exciting, however, there's a bit of a twist and we'll get to that twist when we get to the gate. There's a twist and then there's a gun in Golden Games, Stroke Falls, Pleasant Pass Times, we're going to be playing a game I found in a charity shop to date to wrap this little cheeky booger and say, little labels, bag of one, bag of two, bag of three, bag of four, bag of nine, I can't impress upon the little how nothing we've got this week. No, the year is wrapping up, but I think mentally we're checking out.
Well, I've asked you the question about what we have coming up. Did we say before we were starting to talk about something we've got to talk about and then make the call? I need to say something. No, he like has a statement he would like to make, an official statement on behalf of G show Inc.
And so I'm going to step back now and leave it with the like to make his statement. Please continue. Thank you. Now, we are fans of anti-comedy here and in- And on call comedy.
In- In- Right, I am the interjector. Oh, God. He he he he. Are you going to do it every time I start speaking now?
Me? No, I'm done. Please, because this is good. I can get this out here.
I can get this out here. I can get this out here. This is serious and I have to get it out. We're fans of anti-comedy.
In anti-comedy that we enjoy, sometimes the line blurs between what is the real person, the comedian, in their everyday life, their private life, their everyday private life, and what is the persona. And sometimes that persona has the same name as the real person. And that's the genre, that's the oeuvre of cheap shows that we work with. And a lot of people are saying that I actually shout myself during the live show.
And you said it. And it's not true. Obviously it's not true. I'm working on a different level where I'm faking stuff.
People say they can see the moment where I shout myself. It's just, and I want you to help me here, Paul, by explaining to everyone that was this was a bit that we planned and I pretended to shit myself and pretended not to tell anyone and then told someone and then, you know, it was something we did on stage. We discussed it with Biffot and Sanja before I would leave and that's when I was actually preparing a bit of the script and looking at some stage stage management stuff. And actually wiping liquid fecal from the gusset of mine.
No, I can actually, I would like to step into this point and confirm that yes, the Eli Shittig is panned on stage moments of the cheap show live events was forgery. It was not correct. I'm a method, you know, I can do method stuff. Obviously, the real deal is still one.
So just understand. It's really important to realize that Eli's the real deal is never really shit himself on stage. It's more important to believe that the real silverman with a lot of friends couch. Oh Paul.
That's that laugh. That's evil. That's evil. That's got evil up.
Anyway, it's all, it's all, you never know what's real. No, that was real. Fucking watching it for three days together. I never know what's real.
I'm in the show. I was in the show, you never know what's real. I didn't shit myself. I'm an actor.
Thank you everybody. Yeah, fucking method actor. Yeah. I didn't drink seven Negronies tonight before.
I'm fucking proud method actor. Right. Anyway, we're moving on. Let's get this show.
Let's get this show. I'm laughing. I'm backing. Gallon's put his chips on the table.
I'm having his own. He's been dealt with the cheap show. Jesus. I could just do a traditional nerd.
I was thinking we just keep it simple this week. Just keep it simple. Just keep it simple. Price of shite theme.
I will like you to begin the reverie. Oh, it's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite.
Oh, it's the fucking price of shite. It's not real everyone. I can fucking shoot the man. Shut up.
And that shite running down his legs. There was no running down. No one spotted anything. The pot from me.
You can't do anything. That was the pot. It was the fabric of your rudder pads. Brown spots of fecal digestion.
It's the first question. Yes. It's your favourite show when you were a kid to spray away. Is that another fucking show?
Or spray in your corner of the fucking North East. Spray boss. I couldn't see you in the word play. It sprays me.
It sprays me. Game time. Okay. It's game first.
It's the right to shine. It's the right to say game time. I'm going to tell you in a minute. Did I explain to everyone?
Yes, please do. I'm going to play. You explain the rules. But then I'll add it at the end.
What the twist is that I've added. Okay. Apart from that twist we're playing the standard rules. Standard.
Okay. Now, the game of price of shine everyone is where it's a price guessing game. There are how many items in this? Today there are six items in this price of shine.
We need to get through. Okay. I'll be quick here. Sorry.
I will see each item and then I'll guess it's price. Sometimes they give a total spent. We don't have a window this time. We've got a window.
We've got a window. We've got a window. We've got a window. We've got a window this time.
We have a window this time. I'll know the general area of the amount of money that was spent overall on all six items. Each item I will guess the price. If I guess the price exactly on the nose I get two petrains which we call points in this game.
All right. Come on. Keep you doing well. And also if I guess and it's 25 P either above or below the actual price to pay for the item, I will get one point one between everything to play for and that's that.
However, there's a little twist a little turn in the hay market but before we get to that twist that turn in the hay market. Whatever. You know, that expression? No, it doesn't come up very often.
Is that you doing your little area of town? Is it your little hamlet of existence? He likes how they call it. Is it?
Yeah. Now, I believe it's been demolished and put up a parking lot. Right. I would add something basically this item was sent into us by Ash in our PO box.
If you would have sent something to us, the information isn't the metadata for this podcast on your app player, but it is PO box 1309, Harrow, H A one, nine Q J. That cheap show, PO box 1309, Harrow, H A one, nine Q J. And you can send lovely stuff for us to play with putting our mouths or maybe, a butthole. Me butthole.
Oh, butthole. So you put any of these items in your palm, I'll pull well one of them and you'll know which one when you're starting the twist. No, it's not. It's not.
The twisters you have to guess which one of these I stuck up my heart. No, I want to get there. Come on. Cheap shows going to get there eventually, isn't it?
Ash sent a letter thanks Ash for sending it in by the way. Hello, it's been a while since I sent you a fresh batch of shite for you, but these are from the usual places in Nottingham. Some extra unusual stuff this time. Thank you again for all the hours of entertainment you give everyone.
Thank you Ash and Eli. Yes, I will start by saying the window that you're going to be playing with. Not again, going to be lower prices I feel in London. Yes, no, definitely so.
The window here is between six pounds and nine pounds. All right. But here is the twist. Oh, it's the twist.
Oh, it's not bad related. It's not bad related. No, not yet. You seem to have electrodes in your.
I'll tell you what, we can twist it. Which one of these will I still get my ass at the end of the show? One of these items that he sent was unfortunately something we had covered before. It was a board game.
It was storage wars, right? We played that. It wasn't very good. No, it was good.
It was okay. Surprisingly decent based on a reasonably good idea. But anyway, the point is we covered that. We've done that.
So I thought, you know what I do? I'm going to swap it out for a ringo. Ooh, so I bought something from a charity shop and it's one of these items on this selection. Can I ask which area of London or what brand of charity shop perhaps?
It was a North London hospice board today on the way in. Oh, round here. Yeah. Was it the term high-glain adjacent?
I love that shop. I got you that board game. I'll do a little clue though. Yeah.
Right. Right. So, he is sent six items, but I've swapped one out for an item of my own. So you have to guess which one I've swapped out.
And you get five per twins. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. So on that item, if I got it on the nose, I get the two per twins.
Yeah. And then if I got extra five per twins, I get the top of that. So I'm not sure what per twins. You can get two fours.
You get 10 per twins up for grabs today. No, that's 12. 12. Oh, yes, six times two.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So 12 points just flat out and extra five meaning 17 altogether. That's a big money money talk here. Guys, I'm just going to a little management of your expectations.
I will not be scoring the maximum 17. I'll go off. I know right. And make sure that isn't gone.
Oh, so we begin the games. You wouldn't do that. No, I will do that. I'm not a man like that.
I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't. I believe you. I wouldn't put you down like that.
Right. Should we play this fucking game? I'm ready for my first item. Let's bring it on.
Okay. All right. I want to get the kind of some weird stuff here, but I want to get the crappy stuff out the way. Okay.
Let's address it. Okay. Let's address it first. Yes, Paul.
Right. I'm going to give that one. Maybe I'll give it away. Or maybe get this freebie.
Well, this is a something to do with a flood and it's a newspaper pullout to celebrate the history of a flood. The Great Flood, November 2000, it says Nottingham even post special supplement Monday, November the 13th 2000. So they must be a big flood in Nottingham. But what?
So why would you leave the time of the magazine newspaper? Because it was like, oh, remember the flood? Remember the crack of Jack? Do you remember Ghostwatch?
Remember that flood? We lost all our property and do you remember the tomorrow people? What? I like the ground or something.
Oh, oh, it's a year anniversary when your husband drowned. Oh, it's a newspaper. Your husband's corpse floating face down. I do not recall this flood.
But again, I didn't live in Nottingham in 23 years ago. In November 2000, Elie, you should know how it compares to the Great Flood of 1947. So it's also about the flood in Nottingham. Maybe it's not Nottingham when it's wet.
It must be susceptible to flooding. It's literally in land, right? Nottingham? I don't know.
It's like not. Yeah, it is. It must have a river that floods. If it's in a basin and it's a river, it's a river.
It's a river. It's a river. It's a strange thing to commemorate. Not only commemorate, but then save for years and donate to a charity shop.
It's a big cash in as well. Because here it says all your own copies of the photographs. Well, I love that photograph of a dog struggling to swim in the fucking water. These are sort of aerial shots of the landscape.
I love that family crying in a dinghy. It's such a cash in, isn't it? You're literally saying, why would you? Because it's a big deal.
I wonder what the take up of that was. How many people ordered photographs? Oh, look, they've got a map. This is pretty cool.
The map that shows. What if? No, what does that mean? What if?
Does that mean what if? If the flood got worse? Well, this is colour coded. Yes.
So I think the blue is the extent of the actual flood. But then these red areas are perhaps where it could have... What does it say the first line of the article? What would happen is the river Trent, the river Trent, breaches its defences in Nottinghamshire.
The blue area with the Trent running through it is the unprotected floodplain. The area affected as soon as the river breaks its plan. So that must be what? What a strange thing to put in a newspaper as well.
Here's what might happen if it gets worse. They're quite interesting photos. It has to be said. It's still a strange thing to keep half the years and then go to a charity shop.
On the off chance it was like, oh yeah, I remember that flood. Yeah, it's a disaster, right? It's kind of been that deadly or destructive. And it was a pullout from obviously a local paper.
And you know what, Paul? I have a personal memory of being in Florida with my grandparents when I was really young, like four or five or something. And I got it. Florida is at sea level.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Floods a lot. There's no basements in the state. This would have been like 1967 or something.
How far back are we talking here? Six or seven? So about 1967. I'm like, 1960 something.
I'm starting to shut up. Right? French started. No, but I was really young and then this street flooded and I went out and I was like swimming down the street essentially.
Really, it was that deep? When did it come up to? You walked into it? It was your way out of there.
So I wasn't a particularly short trial. No, about short man. There's about five or six inches then off the ground. Shut up!
Anyway, that was a memory I had and I had a great time because it was like the whole world was transformed into this swimming pool essentially. I didn't understand the sort of the more negative aspects of what was going on. It was simply had fun. It's been like when it snows.
People find it out. Your dog goes out. It's fucking great. You can be free to decide.
You should please say it out. They want you to shut the fuck up. No, they can fucking take me alive. How much?
I have a history. Personal history. What do you think this flood is for you to pay for? It's far too long.
I think it can't be more than 25p. You want to go with 25p. Can you go back over this? Yes.
God no. I mean, maybe the purposes of this game. Yeah, we're brought to book. It's a curio and a weird thing to exist and sell in a charity shop.
It's in good condition after all these years. Has it faded that much? No. In a drawer I think.
Well, let's move on from that now. Next is- I want to talk about that. Boots thing. Oh.
Say what you see. This is a fake envelope says boots on it. Boots, the chemist in the UK which is a pharmacy. It's like glossy card, but it's made to look like a manila paper envelope.
And it has some fake hand written address on the front which says pills, powders and remedies. Posted. It's a postcard set, isn't it? It looks like it does indeed.
Oh, and they're all vintage boots advertising things. Yeah, sort of ye oldy style turn of the century. Yeah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, cards from boots.
Blah, blah, blah, blah. Now how much do you think that set cost? I don't want to talk about it. Can I have a look at them?
We've got a little talc jars and some little girls. Fluid beef. How can you just go blah, blah, blah when the first thing is boots fluid beef? I didn't say that.
It's got three little girls and they're holding tubs of whatever the fuck fluid beef. It's like when you're on stage mate at a gig. You know, if you're on stage, there's something that's fluid beef on the stage. It wasn't beef.
It was a deep fucking lamb stew. It was stringy fernet. Pills, powders, rebbeats for invalids and tourists. What does that even mean?
They used to give you beef as a beef stock. Yeah. As a restorative. It's similar to how, you know, in...
But there's a difference between beef and insulin and being a tourist. What's the... Come to Britain. We have fluid beef.
Right, next one. What's this? It's what like Marmite was in that. Marmite was meant to be a replacement for that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cod liver oil emulsion. A mother's recommendation at the age of four months he was a delicate puny child. The doctor ordered him cod liver oil emulsion.
I'd set up the barn then. No, it's just that you put on a teaspoon drink here. Why do you think you put cod liver on the baby's ass? Because it emulsion.
What they call that? That's a 15 months old. Look at him. And there's a stout baby on the front.
He looks healthy. He's had a cod liver oil. He looks a bit of a bruise. He looks like it's done too much.
And then what's the last one? There's a woman and she's got a basket of produce in her arm. And it says mother always sends me to boots. And that's it.
Oh, no, there's another one. For teeth like pearls, boots, pearl toothpaste. It's powder, isn't it? I don't know, but it's a kind of toothpaste.
I don't know. Anyway, a curio set. How much do you think? One pound.
One pound. Right, next item. Item number three, Mr Silverman. Oh, this is a little cigarette roller.
Yeah, you don't see them very often these days. Cigarette rollers do you? Oh, this is quite a nice one. It's a Risler branded one.
I've got a nice, sir. What has it got? It's got a solidity to it. Well, it's made of metal.
It's one of those things where you put a paper in. You put the cradle of the kind of little... And then what do you do? Well, then what happens is...
No, no, calm down. Sorry. It's a little kind of belt with a cradle. And you put the paper in.
Then the tobacco and your filter, whatever. And you press it down. Oh, do I roll it though? You just literally roll the...
Yeah, do that. So you put it in. You press it down. Right.
So you put your paper in first. I'm imagining that. Then you... When you're tall, you press it closed and then you roll the top and it kind of seals it.
That's the paper that gets dragged in. You lick it before it disappears under the rolls and it seals. But, you know, it is what it is. It's a Risler brand cigarette roller.
It's a little bit on card. I don't know how old it is. Oh, no, it's got instructions on the back. Oh, yeah, go on.
You put the tobacco in first, roll it and then you feed the paper over. Oh, really? Oh, okay. Then I was wrong.
I'm going to say one pound 50. That's what came to mind. You're feeling that. You're feeling that.
Nice. Okay. Let's move on. So you often have gut feelings when I'm performing.
Yeah. I'm laying it out. Moving on. Squirt feeling.
Next one. This is a video cassette tape. VHS. Good, Nick.
Solid. Does a rock look faded? No. You know what the title is for?
Why don't you tell me? The best children's TV of the decade. Remember, Sylvan's TV? You remember it.
Do you remember the dog tanning in the musk? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. You remember the dog tanning in the musk? It's the white dog poo show. You remember Philius Fogade?
He days around the world. Do you remember cities of gold? Do you remember? He was a shop-tropper bike barnhole show.
So what is it? What's on the tape? It's presented by Philip Schofield. Oh, so there's a little bit of danger to it now.
Right. Because it's Philip Schofield to Danger Man now. The media is now Classdom as a reckless Danger Man. We've got clips from Cracker Jack.
Do you remember Cracker Jack? Five-ball XLS. Do you remember that? That was an Anderson thing.
One of the early ones. Tales of the riverbank. Yes. That was a bit window of the willowsies.
That was a kids TV show sketch show, I think. I can't remember. It was a kids TV show. It was a bit like Pro-T It's a very 90s looking box.
But you've got Jack and Orae like we said Thunderbirds and many more it says. That's what the microphone is. I don't want to take part in this podcast. It's just like getting tired of this.
I'm trying to look at this thing. I don't want to buy a bottle of backup. I don't know why we have my other people to podcast. They're like me.
They talk everywhere. They have better microphones. That's the main thing that comes down today. I've better microphones.
We can't afford. We can't. Just give me the fucking thing. So yeah, that's it.
It just has a little quote from Scovir on the back that says, Working on these unique videos. Flowella Bamja. Well, I'm going to give up. Flowella Bamja.
You're not listening to me. You're just thinking of Fuella Bamja. Fluella Bamja. Right.
So, Walter shed pictures rated you. How much? Here was this 1990. Wow.
I bet it's really dry because he's not very funny as he's Scovir. How much do you think this VHS was? It's dead media. You know what?
I think. I see charity shops all over this great city of our sport. They have little signs up. We know long except VHS.
And I've seen incidents where people have come in and said, I've got any VHS and they go, no, no, no. So what's that? Do you think? It means they're worthless unless they're, yeah, good point.
So I don't want that. I also think for that reason that that's not your item. Because I don't think they have them in any of the shops near here, really, anymore. That's not true.
I have seen loads of VHS in that North London at Bibles Lane. Wood Green. Wood Green. I'll get a train station stop, right?
Mate, what do you think it is? Sorry. Give me a look now. Focus.
How about in my mic technique? Is it worth being there? Do you want to just give me a bright spook? I might take it in your metres.
Oh, I haven't done that in a while. I know we haven't put it to metre to find out. Put it that way. Pencil metres time again.
I'll bash it down right to the end. I think it's worthless. I think I'm much 30p for that. I might change my mind.
All right. Listen, next item. Oh, is it a poster? It's a tube of some sort of tube that I am passing in.
But what is in the tube? And it feels like it has something more solid than a poster in it. But it's the type of tube you would cut. Maybe this is the thing I wrote by Art at the end of the episode.
This would look like something you could have made a glass of it. Who don't want that splitting? Tell them what it is. I mean, look, that'll be fine.
It's extremely nobly. It's got nobly metal potato. Potato. Not only potato, but it's Eli.
What is it? It's not really potato beer. You want to just look at the item instead of move on. They're teddy bears, everyone.