Ep 37 - What Runs the World? Shame: Dr. Judith Pilla on Our Most Misunderstood Emotion

What if everything you thought you knew about shame was wrong? In the Season 4 finale of Speak Shame, Dr Connie is joined by Dr. Judith Pilla – psychotherapist, shame researcher, and author of How Shame Runs the World – for a conversation that will change how you think about one of our most powerful and least understood emotions. Dr. Pilla reveals why shame isn't simply a negative emotion to be eliminated. It's an evolutionary signalling system every human carries. She breaks down the crucial difference between pro-social shame (the kind that teaches useful lessons) and corrosive shame (the kind that only hurts) and why understanding that difference is the key to finally healing. Expect an eye-opening conversation covering perfectionism, procrastination, people-pleasing, the shame machine of social media, projection, discrimination, and why 90% of the shame we carry was never ours to begin with. If shame has been silencing you, this episode is for you. 00:00 Content Warning00:13 Show Intro01:24 Meet Dr Judith Pilla02:08 What Shame Is03:37 Shame Versus Guilt06:44 How Shame Shows Up08:58 Why She Wrote It13:06 Why Shame Runs World13:59 Pro Social Shame17:23 Corrosive Shame19:15 Internalised Messages23:28 Healing Shame Basics26:03 Use It Then Lose It28:06 Finding Safe People33:56 Gender and Shame36:31 Perfectionism and Procrastination41:05 Masks and Social Media44:24 Projection and Dumping Shame46:41 What to Do Today49:30 Inspirational woman: Gisèle Pelicot52:54 Closing and What’s NextDR. JUDITH PILLA·      Website: HowShameRunsTheWorld.comUK SUPPORT SERVICES•      In an emergency, dial 999; for non-emergencies or dial 101 (UK only)•      Find your nearest NHS Sexual Assault Referral Centre•      Find an NHS Talking Therapy service near you or contact your GP surgery•      Charities: Mind, The Samaritans, Rape Crisis, Women’s Aid, or Victim SupportGET IN TOUCHJoin the community:@StoriesWithoutShame on InstagramSign up for the Stories Without Shame newsletter to join the movement.