Deviled eggs? Ooh, don't mind if I do. I've got the terrible thoughts. I have the terrible- I've been starting recording now.
Have you- Oh, look! He's doing a little look! He's doing a little look like he has! Have you?
I refuse to join this podcast until you fucking step in line and behave yourself. What do I need to do to behave myself? Be a human being right out the gate before you go all wibbly-wobbly brainbong. Alright, I just want a bit of normal from you.
Okay then. Just be a man. Be a- Be a- Be a honest man. Do a- Be an honest man.
With a real name. Be an honest man with a real name. Just give me Eli. Just give me Eli.
That's all I want right now. I don't want Captain Flap from the planets. I don't want Egyptian Pete. I don't want Alistair Ding Dong.
I don't want any of those fucking characters. You've literally said Bing Bong and Ding Dong. I know. I've let myself down.
Shut up! It's funny how I quickly come up against the wall of my imagination when it comes to names. Challenge me. Come up with a name.
This name is a name of somebody who works in a news agent in 1974. Gary Thatcher. That works for me. Yeah?
Alright. You want the sun? You want the sun, sun? I'll give you the sun.
You want the mirror, sun? You want to see the sun, sun? You want the copy of this one? Page three, mate.
Ooh, page three. In the sun. Only in the sun. You're right, sun.
How about that, Gary Thatcher? Race this Corners shot, man. Great. Give me another character to get a name to.
I'm enjoying this. How about someone who delivers Millet in the 80s to health food stores? Philippa Seed. See Millet and Seed.
You've now fallen down. That's what I do though. Give me a go. Philippa Finger Bash.
There's so much wrong with it. Oh, I don't know what that was. Sorry, that was awful. I don't know what that was.
I'll give you one. I'll give you one. Put that thing into a bag. I'll give you a mouthful.
Dead, dead. Done. Sleeky. Right.
One more. I'll give you a character then. OK, I want you to give me a character. Don't care about the sex of it.
Give me a character who's mentioned that. No one's mentioned that. I'm saying that. I'm saying I'm giving you a cart of launch.
This is fucking flagrant bigotry. I'm giving you a cart of blanche to do anything you want with. So I'll tell you Blanche. Right.
So I want you to give me a character who's obsessed with the post office and stamps. You've got nothing. No, I've got it. I'd have to think about it.
Neil McIver. Neil McIver. Yes. Hello there.
You thought your name would have a grande, would you get that a weird name to pull from the ether? Was your grande interested in stamps like I am? No. I'm Neil McIver.
Hello and welcome to Snabs Today with Neil McIver. They've got weird name. I don't like it. I'd be on the grave, McIver.
You take my grande today out of your mouth. Ah! Right. The show.
Press the fucking credit. Go on, run on. All go on. You can be your last gentlemen.
Welcome to Jeep Show. It's sources and words of credit. Do things I was not all bought. Shop me.
Shop me. I'll make you your fucking loser. I'll make you your fucking loser. I'll make you your fucking loser.
I'll make you your fucking loser. Jepchaunton. Oh, no no no no. It's time of the day to you.
It's time today for the time time. Good day to you. It is Jeep Show time. It's the time of the day.
You've put sight to listen to us for an hour or so. Welcome in. It's the economy comedy podcast where I, Paul Gannon, and my good Chumity. Eli Silverman, hello.
Go through the treasure of the trapdoors and the nip-knops. I've forgotten that. Really, Paul? Really?
Oh dear. The treasure everyone that we find amongst the trash. Is that all? I think it's a Greek saying.
Isn't it? Where you'll find ruin, you'll find chance of treasure. Tranche. Oh, wait.
In the ruins you find a tranche of treasure. You know, where else you find a tranche of fucking treasure? In your gully. In my fucking guts it.
Yeah, you've got it. Anyway, hello everybody. Welcome to the podcast. This week is more economy comedy joy as we try some cheap eats, some leftovers from Eli's trip to America, and we've got a Paul's platters, I guess you could call it.
Paul's platters. And also Paul. Yeah. Nicely we do something with the records and we don't have, is he charged or has he been charged up?
All I know is that the last I spoke to Trekbot, he had spent 750 pounds getting professional cleaners in, two power washes, Booth clean. How did he get called them? He doesn't like internet access. No, because they're room tone, phone up for him.
Why is that guy hanging out? He's just here to settle things down and get a bit of peace and quiet every now and then room tone. It's quiet. Luckily, I forgot his voice.
So we can't do this week. Good. Oh, was he bad at all? He was a bit like that.
Oh, I got it. Shall I have your hand off? And thank you everyone. Okay, bye bye.
Yes, good. Anyway, I'm paid for it. I got the power. I got the power.
I got the power. I got the power. I got the power. I got the power.
I tell you I'm mad at it. They sprayed it with their arse. Why are you hanging out here though? Oh, why card on?
Darn. Fine. I'll sit over there. He has to go in another chamber.
Let me throw a blanket over him. Oh, mate. Oh, no. I'll just put his sheets over him.
He can get away with it if he wants room tone. Hello, everyone. He's done that. He's you, Paul.
He's not well. He's you. Are they all me? Are they all me in some respect?
Paul, why don't you just get straight to the meat and go up to the tails from the dance floor? Which is what we're going to get to. Are we now anyway? Tell us from the dance floor.
What's that really famous adelgine? Hello. Rolling something. Rolling down the river.
Are you going to be complete? I'm going to fucking turn him over. Hello from the other side. What is it?
I'm going to turn track bar on in a minute if you don't help me in a serious way. All right, because he'll be just a good. No, no, please. I have track bar.
Track bar. What's that famous adelgine song with rolling in the title? Let track bar, tell all. Brr, brr, brr, brr, brr.
Ah, Adel is known for itsy, bitsy, deeny, weeny, yellow, pogo, duckby, gee dee. Very good. Thank you very much. You're very much valued around here track bar.
I'm off to a party now with Tony Blackburn. Not off. No, no, no. That's free minute.
Alan Freeman, that one. And he's been dead for a while. Oh, get him in the fucking pod. Back bar going back to his clean pod.
It's not going to be clean for long. It's clean as we're saw. Listen, I just went to the little room tones being in here. Yeah, room tones chucked in there already.
Oh, yeah. Randy Dog will be at any second. And he's going to bring the wreckage. That Randy Dog will fucking spray mount the whole fucking deal.
Right. Have yours cleaned this. What have you done? Track bar.
I literally went into it. You went when you were doing the record thing. I popped in on it. Room tone.
It's fine if you want to stay here. Okay. But you have to make my play. Where have you been sleeping?
Oh, room tone. This is directed to. Oh, well, look at me. Where have you been sleeping?
Well, stop really. Okay. I'm going to say here then. Can I say here then?
Is it official you can say in the podcast? Yeah. No, this is my place recording today. And that's not for you to say if you can say in my room.
Paul, I'm talking about the podcast as a sort of imaginary space. Is it? Is it? Is it?
Is it? It's not before. Oh, hold the segment. That's another universe.
This is just normal fucking reality. You're playing the record. You're playing the fight. I mean, if we're pitching new places to fictionally own the podcast and broadcast from, I vote for a cruise ship, but we'll put that pin in that long.
Room tone is then in the ether around us. A cheap show. Whoop whoop. What does everything?
Every vehicle to you goes bing bing bing. It doesn't go bing bing. What does a bus go? Bing bing.
And what does a train go? Chuff chuff. Yeah. Bing bing bing too.
They don't. The train's meant to go chuff, isn't it? What about a boat going? A boat would do that.
Poooooo. It's like that. Right. Have you put the characters away now?
Trackbarts going back. Go ahead. Right on my bed. He made a mock on my bed.
Yes, he did. Oh. You befriended him. He did the pod.
Yes, he's powered down. He'll be back out. No doubt. He's going to wake up with Spong on his face where he has to put his head on the field.
Telling it. Try to get that dog away from here. He's lurking around the toilet area. I sort of roomed something around like a horsey before as well.
Just riding on the horsey dog. That's the piss. I'm sorry. It's something about room tone.
I just feel he's disrespectful. He's just installed himself. You know? I understand.
Sometimes these characters just invite themselves into our life and we adopt them. Don't we? What are we doing on the show? We're going to do it.
Let's talk about the shells. We're going to fight. Look! I know.
We've done that. We'll just talk about the eight minute. We'll just call it a day this week. Nice little 15 minute episode.
Now we'll talk about the like. I'll tell you what. We'll take a break and we'll come back and go straight into your Tales of the Dawn floor. Here we go.
It's Tales of the Dawn floor everywhere. It is indeed. I had an extra gig because someone else dropped out and I can say blues, kitchen, Candy. They totally redid the whole floor of the stage.
The stage has been replaced. It's spanking brand new. It's crazy. It's crazy.
That's the story. I'm just saying. All right, no, I'm saying a bit of a scene. It's got new flooring.
Great though. It's mad something to me. I'm sorry. I can see how that is quite boring.
No, no, it's good well building. Go on. And it was a really busy night. Yeah.
Really busy. But I noticed there was a lot of sausage. If you know me. It's a sausage night blokes.
Yeah, big blowers. Really? And it gets to the point where there's all these fucking blokes. Too many blokes.
Too many. It's on that floor, mate. It is exactly that. But kind of, and especially if they've got a sort of shitty attitude.
So that's a shit you attitude. You just start thinking, I don't even want this next record to go down well. Because then they'll be all boisterous. And it's kind of a feral boisterousness.
Do you know what I mean? Where they start charting along if they know it. And it's a bit like a football stadium. It's because there's no ladies to impress.
So their energy is diverted towards building a napkin in it. This is a bog land. A nogaya, rather. Of bogland.
Of social theory, gender theory, whatever you want to get to. It's going to get gross. Way too deep. We're simple.
What I'm saying is. Whistable folk. We don't have nothing to go up now. There was a lot of males there.
Yeah. And this guy had one of those ravers hats. Really, they still do, though. Is it being ironic?
I saw him sort of dancing. Oh, god, he's this guy. He's got a shot. Anyway, he mounts the stage with two of his mates.
Oh, dear. Because Adele. Adele. And you got Adele rolling in the deep.
Oh, Jesus. Adele rolling in the arcing. Arcing. Arcing it.
Arcing it. Go on, mate. Arcing it. Adele rolling in the deep.
Can't, mate. Was he Welsh? No, he's Irish. Mm.
How would you say that then in an Irish accent? Hello, dear. You have Adele rolling in the deep. No, but that's too.
I bet what you did, which was Welsh. Adele. No, what's that? Adele rolling in the deep.
I thought, well, that's no way near Irish. It's not even the same fucking post- I'm going to get in my head coming over here. I'm sure there are things you doing like so I'm good in your head. What do you think I will?
I'm just going to get in the deep. Come here, there's more. Come here, there's more. Come here, there's more.
Come here, there's more. Why are you making that noise with your mouth now? Come here, there's more. You don't need to make that fucking noise with your mouth.
God, make that noise, man. Don't go Jamaican on me, right? Just because fucking hell. That's pretty awful, isn't it?
Oh, my God. Anyway, so he said all that shit and then what happened? He got pulled off by the water. Oh, look, he mad.
Oh, dear. What a story. Come on. That was that.
She's an absolute champion. Now, as we're on the tails of the dot dot mode. I've also got a nine out of it. You do it in 30 seconds.
I was in a charity shop in Camden. My make, don't make that noise when I'm doing it, please. I'll do it. Don't make that noise.
OK, and there was a Chinese restaurant just up Parkway in Camden. That closed. I used to like to frequent, didn't I? Some of the stuff.
It was one of those pan Asian ones which do sushi and Chinese dishes on tide dishes as well. But anyway, closed. It's got kind of a sort of interior designed sort of interior with a bar and a sort of interior. A designed interior.
A sort of 85. Anyway, turns out there's a new vintage second hand shop up there. Record job or just this is what I'm getting to. OK, they've got like 70 shirts in the window.
Oh, yeah. Rogan was in there. He calls me up and goes, I'm up here. And I go there.
He's got this mound of seven inches when I walk in like this. And you're getting those. I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, yeah.
He was like, all the quid. And he's like, got about 80 there. I'm like, what's going on? And then I start looking.
And I'm like, oh, why? What was in there? Obviously, some collection from a radio DJ or something, all of the artists are grouped. So you'll have ABBA.
You'll have to. That'd probably be near the topic was alphabetical as well. America. So I think I first thing I saw was Isley Brothers, for example.
But then there was like seven Isley Brothers in a row. All kind of pristine condition. Yeah. And then they'd be like, when Guthrie.
All loads of it was. I don't know why I just don't think Gwen Guthrie is a real name. It is. They're like something we come up with.
They're all R&B. Hello, I'm Gwen Guthrie. It was all basically. Don't take the piss of Gwen Guthrie.
Guffrie. Guffrie. That's a real person. Anyway, is Gwen Guthrie a real person?
No. Hello there. I am Gwen Guthrie. Oh, too many sprouts last night.
So it was. Too many sprouts. Too many sprouts. Oh, I'm not going to get enough of your dog again.
Who was there? I hear a shulky egg mate. Oh, come on. I had a bit of the sprouts last night.
So I did. It's a sprout and some wind. Gwen. Gwen.
Gwen. Gwen. I'm at your little maid. Chubby Nada.
And I'm out of the sketch. No, I have a question for you, Gwen. Yes, hello there. Go on there, Gwen.
What kind of sprouts were they that you and last night? I gave you so much. Yes. Tooking you nubs.
A little chugging you. I'm not going anywhere with this. Finish your story about the record shop. Sorry.
Finish your story about the record shop. Sorry, I was screaming. I'm going to ask you to go carefully and wisely and maturely. Just finish your story.
Anyway, there was a lot of really good stuff there. I found a soulful strings on the chess label, pristine. Nice. I've picked up some things.
Gene Harris, who's a soul, funky soul dad guy on the blue note label. I'm checking out. Anyway, and I ended up getting 50, but I wanted to get more. I had to get a huge pile that I wanted and then go through it again.
And it all cost. They're all a quit. That's what I'm saying. I spent 54 quit.
I got 54 singles. No, no, I know the maths mate. I fucking understand. You can divide by one.
You've got seven singles out of it. All right. I know it. Moving on.
So that was a nice little digging moment. Shut up. I'm moving on. I might even cut that segment out.
Don't you please don't. Stop shuffling your fucking piece of paper. I want to get this done so we can move on to the show. We are doing the show.
I'm not. This is the show. Is it? You just did a fucking character called sprouting whatever that...
Gwen Goughley. Don't beat jealous. Is what it comes down to. Goughley.
Goughley. No, you're right. It is shit character. I am not.
Good name. Duneearth. Shut up. I am jumping up.
I am jumping up. Keep popping up and down there and put it down. Focus on that. See what it is like.
Go over and get all out of it. Your voice is so loud. Select thestarter. Decorating.
That is probably 2018. Look I am telling him not to say it good. Like I said, have you seen it? on our PO box, details on our website if you want to send anything to us and it came a huge box full of food and goodies from a guy called Ben, he also had a lesson.
Stop saying huge box, huge box. Ben's big box was sent to us. Thank you, Ben. You said so much, he's gonna take us a while to chip at it.
So we're gonna just spread it out over a couple of weeks. We had a little look through it, you also sent a letter and it's a tells in the shop floor. So let's just rip into it, tell us from the shop floor and see where we go. I have a very expression at colleague who is excellent at telling stories.
Sorry, sorry, Paul. Sorry, Paul. I can't be calm. Two things, right?
He said expression, that's what he read. What he read and I read it out. Can you slow down and then answer it a bit better? Just take a breath.
No, please. All right, then in that case, I will. Expressionate. It's what the word is.
It's expressionate. Pore. Expressionate. That's not what that word is.
What is that word he wants? I'm gonna say expressive then. I have a very expressive colleague. I think expression is funny.
Well, let's do that. Let me tell the story. What would be expression? It's rather long.
We take it. The less time we have to get for food. That person used the word expressionate. He has an expression.
I have a very expression at colleague who is excellent at telling stories. We call them Rory stories. We call them Rory stories. Is he called Rory?
This story from Rory is called Rhythm and Pooh's. Here's the story. Picture a large industrial setting in the northeast full of flat caps poverty of facilities operating 24 hours a day. One guy working there always seemed a little bit odd and shy.
Where? Where they were somewhere in the northeast. He's keeping it vague for various creators. It's a factory in the northeast and one of their colleagues was seemingly quite shy.
When someone was going away from the workstation for the Lou, the guy would always follow. They didn't know if he was afraid of being alone or in the dark or cold, so initially it wasn't seen as too unusual. This intensified to the point where he didn't work much, but stayed more towards the offices and facilities and especially the toilets. Fast forward to the Christmas party and there's been some drinks and lips have been loosened.
He's talking to the others about how his wife makes him leave the house when she needs the toilet. She complained that she could hear him sniffing. He asked if he could just go to the bathroom with it and watch it do a number two and after that he was told he'd have to leave the house. So I'm guessing that he told a story act totally about yeah my wife doesn't like it when she says to me out because when she goes I said I want to watch it and you know it's nice.
To each their own the story quickly spread. This was the early 1980s and there wasn't what else to talk about. Everyone was cautious about him being around the toilets and some bets started rising. Maybe someone could get paid to allow him to watch.
Eventually someone went for a poo knowing he was near the toilets at the time but alas it was a trap. Peeking over the stall they saw him pleasuring himself in the toilets and even with half a dozen guys peering over he never looked shocked and continued unabated. The guy actually ended up with an unusually positive reputation apparently. Everyone was massively impressed even management.
He was simply an inquisitive man who would say can one of you have a shit please as a genuine optimistic please as he was trying to cross the finish line with a little help from his friends. I never found out if anyone helped him out for money all for free but it's an unusual story for you to enjoy. It's a story that I found denoisier rising in my throat during the last few bits on board. It's an interesting story isn't it?
When you think about it. It is an interesting story. Imagine being that man who for some reason can only knock on out when he can hear the heaving gut to the firing is smell. Is it the smell you think?
That's why you say it. You also wanted to see the air smells. You also wanted to see the grunts. It's said the smell keeps him.
It's not the sniffing smell. The smell is mentioned much more. It is but I'm thinking it's part of it. I also think he likes to see the gooning face of someone.
Guys are copper file right? Why do you like the police so much? Bum bum bum bum bum. Not in the mood today.
Why aren't you in the mood today? It's not in the mood for your mouth anyway. Thank you Ben. I don't believe that story at all.
Right. It was he picked too soon with expassionate away. Yeah. Expassionate man.
It's a match with it man. So yeah interesting. Have you ever wanted to have a wank because someone was having a poo? I doesn't turn me on this man.
I know. I've got a bread in the oven mate. If you want to give it a go. I don't want to give it a go.
Come on. Watch me. Watch me. I know.
Watch me have a poo next time. I know what the story part is. That story part. That story is all messants.
I'm not going to do it. Okay. I'm not going to entertain it. Do you know what was really I felt about that story where it came off the truthful rail.
So to speak what he was caught doing it never missed a beat and everyone thinks he's a hero. That's not what happens. Even in the 80s. So the trap was they sent for him.
They were like I'm going for a poo. Whatever. Come with us. And he went and there was no poo.
But then he would have known. Right? Did he just like the idea of knowing someone was poo? No he liked the smell.
Can't you get this but there was no smell in his trap. What's that? He says I'm going for a poo and he went in but it was a trap. It's just the thought of it.
So maybe it was just the thought of it knowing that a colleague that he worked well deserved. Well deserved. Well deserved. Well deserved.
Thank you. So I didn't make attention. You knew it was a trap. So the guy didn't take a shit then.
No, he did not know it was a trap. He went into the booth next door after hearing his make-off. I'm off to drop my guts and he was like well did the guy just end up dropping his guts anyway? I think he did.
No. Because they all he peeked over the top. They're dropping his guts in the next one along and they're looking at him in that one. No because I don't.
Look even if I'm part of the trap I don't want to really take a shit for the sake of the trap. What if you needed two birds of one stone? Well isn't it? You wait till you need a shit and then you do that wouldn't you?
You'd wait till you needed a shit. You wouldn't pretend to take a shit. But if it was a turn on the clock you know they've got a foreman looking over them. Oh I'm dying for a shit you just wore.
Then when you really need a shit you've cried wolf. And the foreman's gonna say fuck in aren't they? They're gonna say well you've already been for a shit mate. You've been five times a day Brian.
I do believe that story you're right. Well having a little examination of that whole thing at the end. Like is Johnny's shit wank. Yay.
Fucking Rory's story. Rory's fucking Rory's fucking Rory's fucking Rory's fucking expressionistic man. Nah. Fuck man.
Rory the story man and his expressionistic tales of nonsense. I can't even dissegment over that. Oh nom-a-tee nom. It's time for a notch.
Nom-a-tee nom. It's time for a notch. What? Not a hot notch.
Sweet notch. Good. Put it in my belly and nom-nom-nood. Nood.
Nom-nom-nom-nood. Anyway hello everyone. Now it's time for the sweet half of the snacks from the States brought by Emma and shout out to Soli on his birthday which was the eighth. It's not a fucking breakfast radio show.
I mean shout out to Soli boy on his eighth. Not his eighth. I don't 14 regretting this already. No no because they bought all of this for us.
Yes they did. So we sent a shout out on the birthday. Sorry. I do birthday shout out to everyone.
So don't email him unless you're a relative. I'm not interested in anyone. I know. Especially you.
You get real mask off sometimes don't you? This is what I mean. You have a fucking psychopath lurking within you. That's what the psychopath would say.
The problem is, it's only way these glasses as well. I have too many emotions to be a psychopath. Too many complicated raw emotions that I can't process. It makes me want to fucking kill something.
We tried to put the same stuff last week and now we're on to the sweet. The party's me was the standout. Now a lot of interesting items they picked up for me starting with Oreo's space dunk. What makes them a space dunk Mr.
Subilber them? I couldn't say your name. They are contained within this package I have before me Paul. Yeah.
Five galactic designs. Oh they're different designs on each one. Funny. So they're just different biscuit designs then.