(Ep. 38) Who’s the Victim, and who’s the villain?

What if letting go of the villain in your story isn't about excusing them — but about finally taking your power back?In this episode of Triggered & True, Laura Duncan and co-host Brian Freise take on a deliberately provocative idea — one they warn may trigger you: there are no villains in life. It's not a comfortable message, and they know it. We've been taught every story needs a bad guy, but the Compassion Method sees something else: a world full of hurting people who hurt people, caught in a cycle that only ends when we stop pouring our energy into blame and start tending our own hearts.Laura and Brian are careful and honest about why this lands so hard. Blaming the villain feels like the only way to make our pain valid — so if there's no villain, we fear our pain doesn't count. They gently untangle that: your pain is real whether anyone is to blame, and the person who's actually asking to be validated isn't your pain, it's you. Crucially, this is not about excusing harm. Laura is explicit — "your abuse matters, and I'm not minimizing it" — and clear that letting go of blame doesn't mean the behavior was okay, that you stay, or that there are no consequences. It means refusing to let the person who hurt you stay twenty feet tall while you stay small.In this episode: 🔹 Why "there are no villains" is so triggering — and why blame feels like the only way to validate pain 🔹 The reframe: your pain is real with or without a villain, and it's you asking to be seen, not the pain 🔹 Why a false sense of comfort from blame keeps the person who hurt you "twenty feet tall" 🔹 Not excusing harm: "your abuse matters, but you matter more" — and why this isn't about staying 🔹 Becoming your own boundary — the freedom of being okay no matter how someone treats youA gentle note: this episode challenges how we assign blame and touches on being wronged, including abuse. Laura is clear that it never excuses harm or asks anyone to stay in it — your safety comes first. If any of this feels close to home, be gentle with yourself, and reach out to someone you trust.📩 Get your free Weekly Dose of Compassion — two short notes in your inbox every week. One to speak over yourself. One from Laura: https://www.lauraduncan.com/pl/2148814868🔗 Learn more: https://triggeredandtrue.com https://lauraduncan.com