Hey everyone, welcome to Pivot, the podcast for women who've made intentional or unexpected changes in their life, but they're still winning. I am your host, Dr. Malik Interner, and I'm here with three wonderful women who are out there doing it. They are doing something for our black and brown children, and I brought them here together to have this conversation.
As you know, back in September, I think it was, I shared a little bit of my personal feelings in relation to the George Floyd killing and the shooting of others. I mean, we've just been through so much as a people, as a culture, and I just felt compelled to share how I felt and really compelled to do something and use my platform as a way to contribute, to change, contribute to some conversations. And so last month we had three or four women came together and we talked about the conversations we've been having with our black and brown sons, how we're helping them to pivot during this time. And now we have this month, we have three women who are going to come and talk about the impact that they're having with our youth today, right?
And so it's interesting, we started out the year with the pandemic and people dying and it's just been happening throughout this entire, what is this, 11 months, right? We're in November and we're having, there's so much happening right now. And now we're almost near the end of the month and we've, we've elected a black woman, vice president, Holly, Leah, come on, yes, yes, okay. So it's ending there's something happening here at the end, but I want to bring these women together.
Let me just introduce them to you. I have Denise Taylor, who is the founder of Kindness Counts Learning Center. She just opened her second location, which is located in the Harrisburg area. We're so delighted to have her back with us at Pivot.
I have Lydia Robinson, who is the founder and director at Scene and Action Production Company, affectionately known as SNAP. And I am, listen, I was on social media with her yesterday. She probably don't even know, but I was watching the ribbon cutting as much as I possibly could and so delighted because I know the work that she put into really introducing our black and brown children to the arts and now seeing her with her own location is just fantastic. Located in the Chestnut Hill area of Philadelphia.
And I have Shayla Forestall Gibson, who is a therapist at Purposefully Soring Counseling Services, which is located in Harrisburg. And as you all know, if you've been listening, we had Candace Johnson, who was the founder of Purposefully Soring Counseling Service on two episodes ago, I believe. And Shayla is a licensed clinical social worker. I have all of these women here.
We have converged to have a conversation about what we are doing, right? This is our second episode in our Do Something series and how we are impacting the black and brown community during this pivotal time in their lives. So ladies, let's talk. So, you know what, I, we're here together and there's just so much we can, we're going to unpack here.
There's just so much. What I want to do is just, you know, as I'm thinking about, you know, one of the things that I found is that, you know, black Americans have really died. They died from coronavirus at a much higher rate than other racial groups. We've learned this on ABC News.
They've been victims of police brutality and killings at a disproportionate rate. And so what we're seeing here is that black men are being killed, being shot by police brutality the whole night. We're just seeing so many images on the television. Our kids are being exposed to so much news.
And so surely this is impacting our young black and brown children, right? And youth. There's no, I mean, we can't get away from it. As I shared before, I have a 14 year old who is constantly on TikTok and even TikTok, you know, there's all kind of news and information and images on TikTok.
So they're being inundated with information and images constantly that age group. But our young, our babies are still hearing. They're still hearing our conversations. They're still in the backseat of the car when we're driving and we're responding or reacting to things that we are hearing.
And so I think that it's so important not to forget our children, right? And not to forget our young, our young adults and the kinds of ways that we can impact their lives through this time. So I'm going to start with, you know, I would love to start with Lydia. Lydia, you are really working in the arts with, you know, introduce the arts to some young.
Talk to us a little bit about what you do and then talk to us a little bit about the impact you're having on our young children during this time. Absolutely. So I am the founder of Senior Action Productions Company known as Snapco. You like to put the Snapco?
I like it. Okay, Snapco. And so basically the whole point of this organization and we starting this organization is really to use the tools of the arts really to help mentor children, right? So just wanting to be such an example in their lives, especially during this time, but just saying, okay, how can I do that?
How can I go about it without me just speaking and talking, you know, or just having a mentorship meeting was a creative way to go about to meet with young children in a way that we can discuss social issues, we can discuss some of the things that they face as children. And so the arts, like I've, you know, I've been dancing, I've been mining, I'm bringing years. And so I think this was a vision that gave me to go forth and to bring kids together through the arts, but also to have moments where we're able to sit down and discuss what's happening around us and what if it's affecting you, how can we turn this into something creative? So let's create pieces around it.
So a lot of what we do through our organization is we use dance, we use creative theater, we use music, but we also ensure that whatever production piece we put together has some type of social issue that we pinpoint and that we discuss creatively through the arts. So a lot of things that's happening right now, we're able to have those conversations with our children and we work with children ages three to 16. So they really have much to say. Of course, they're oblivious.
They're three, four, five. They're like, okay, whatever. And yet some of them do are hearing what the parents are saying. They are hearing what their older siblings are saying.
And so you can randomly just teach a class and then the student can ask, okay, why don't why people like me? You know what I mean? So it's just like, okay, let's talk about it. So that's when we have the opportunity to say, okay, let's not what we're doing.
And let's have a conversation around your question. And so I just, I just love the fact that we're able to bring both the creative side and we're able to bring what's happening in the world together and we're able to create pieces. We're able to discuss and relate our emotions through what we do. And so we've been doing this for this is our eighth year now.
And it's just been such a delight in just looking forward to continue to do what we do and making a difference with you. I love that. And I think that when you're in a position like that, when you're in a situation where you are able to be creative, it opens up your comfort level, right? It opens up the comfort level to be able to talk and to be able to ask these questions.
And there has to be some level of trust there for you to be able to, and I think that that's probably a common thread with all of these organizations. There has to be a level of trust there for a child to be able to feel comfortable to ask that question. And we're going to come back to you. But one of the things that I've been, I've found is that kids have definitely been impacted through education.
There is no doubt in my mind that kids who graduated in 2020 will remember this. Freshmen in college, they will remember this. But also we have young children who will remember when they couldn't go to school or when they had to wear a mask. So for them, maybe it wasn't COVID-19, but it was, remember when I had to wear a mask to school.
Denise told us a little bit about what you're doing, but also how this is impacting the children in your learning center and how you're able to have those conversations or maybe even impact the folks that work for you so that they can kind of download to your children. If I could piggyback off what she said a little bit, because a lot of my upbringing had to do with the creative arts. I went to Apple Graves, Apple Graves, School of Performing Arts, Drama Production, the whole nine. So I was immersed in arts.
And honestly, I think that that's what kept me grounded with the situations that I had going on as a child. So kudos to you. But that also takes me back again to my first love because through Emely Grace, I had my first job at an early learning center. And that's where I developed my passion for early learners and really caring for the little one.
So as far as I'm concerned, and my portion in this, I look back to my mission, which is to impact the community, have a positive impact on the community, and to hone in the children at this young age. I believe this is my impact. If I can love on them and nurture them and give them that foundation from the start, then they will grow to be humans that are doing well in their community, then giving back and loving and being kind. So although they may not be able to say to me who the next president elect is and about this shooting or this riot or this, they can feel the stress of their parents, they can feel the stress of whoever's in the household, even us caring for them.
They can feel the burden. So why I think we're important is because we can help drown whatever negative feelings that they're getting by loving on them and nurturing them. And so, um, treating their little minds, keeping them busy. So they don't have to worry about that.
They come here to learn and to grow and to be loved and to share, to care and all those beautiful things. And so, you know, I believe that if I start at this level, then by the time they get to snap, you know, they have that foundational piece and then she's able to sow seeds, you know, into fertile ground and, you know, and then, you know, coming into a purpose we sawing, they will be able to better express their feelings now that they have, you know, been nurtured and loved and, you know, been able to, um, move into different ways to express how they're feeling through the creative arts and now they're able to say, I feel this way, you know, and this is what's going on in my mind. So I love this. I love how you orchestrated this.
This is great. Yeah. Thank you. Well, you know what?
I love this. I'm writing, I'm taking some notes here, but I, I'm going to come back to that because, and I thought about this funny that you said that because when Lydia was talking, I thought, oh, this is probably like hitting Denise because I remember she was in, I went grave. Um, but I think, you know, Shayla, I remember, you know, I work in higher education. And one of the things that I do is as a vice president for assistant vice president for student affairs, we meet with our different offices in the division to talk through progress and how are our students and, and our counseling center is still popping.
Okay. It is still busy. Students still need assistance. They need someone to talk with.
They, it, it hasn't slowed down. And I say that because we admitted our freshmen to the campus this year, our freshman, our first year students and some graduate students, right, but not the entire population of students. And so I find that we thought, well, since our numbers are low, right, that, you know, be a little different. There is still the need.
Students still need someone to talk to and in the face of what's happening, students, you know, in a hyper flex or a hybrid model of learning, it has really created some levels of anxiety and students really needing to counsel. So tell us a little bit about what you do, your specialization and how you're impacting students during our young children, young people during this time. So, again, thank you very much for all of the opportunity to first just to be here and be able to talk with all of you wonderful women. I mean, this is an honor indeed.
So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. One of the first thoughts that brought me to social work was that I remember thinking to myself that there were so many things that I would see in my own life and others where I was just like, how was that fair?
For example, my mother was, she is from another country. And so there was a lot of different situations where she was discriminated against. And then I would see different things in friends of mine where they couldn't do certain things, whether it was due to the neighborhood they lived in and it wasn't safe or neighborhood they lived in, they were isolated. And so my first thought was, you know, this is just not fair.
And I remember thinking that I remember my father saying, you know, there's going to be a time when things are not fair. The only thing you have to rely on is you and your own resilience. And he said, if you take that one strand of strengths, like begin to bind it with other things, other resources, other connections, other people in the community, you will bind that and you will enforce that strength. You will enforce that resilience.
And I took that kernel of truth and claimed it as part of my mantra, which is I may not be able to improve your situation. I may not be able to help you leave out of your environment, but I may be able to help you improve your own inner strengths. And so that's where I brought in the mindset of being with children because I truly believe children have already a poor strength that they come in this world with and they have a resilience that they're not even aware of many, many times. And so part of being a council that I purposely saw is for me to support children and acknowledging and being aware that you have this strand of resilience already in you.
The fact that you're here talking to me right now about the pain or the trauma, the isolation, the sadness, all these different things, and you're still able to look at me and still smile, it's able to go out faces world after you leave out of my office out for 50 minutes is a testimony to that fact. And that small amount of validation that comes with hearing someone else who doesn't necessarily know you but already believes in you is such a important kernel and enforcer for many of our young women and young men of color right now, because they're told in the media, you're not worse. You're not working, you're not valid. You know, whatever you're saying is not valid.
What your feelings is not valid. Why are you angry about this? This isn't making sense. Why are you angry about stuff like that?
Lord, support people and supporting them and understanding you are aware of your own feelings, you're aware of your own situation. You are a testimony to your own strength. And so it is okay that you're angry. It is okay that you want to cry or you want to scream or you're having difficulties in processing everything that's going on because, heck, I'm going to go out and have difficulty trying to throw it all out.
But before you're in learning some ways to improve upon your resilience, that is a ripple effect and it goes out into how we view things. So I love one of the things I love art myself is because it is a perspective. My daughter draws all the time and I love to say that to her. I love the way that you view different things because it gives me a different perspective.
It is more hopefully and when they have become a C.D. If I'm giving them another filter, another crayon, another tool period to change their perspective, to color their perspective, to clarify and support them. And again, if that one criminal thing I keep telling them before I leave is if I can support you in knowing that you are a testimony to your own strengths, then I've done at least a small part of my job. Hey, everyone.
Denise, Lydia, Shayla. They are here with us representing education, the arts and the counseling area. And they are providing us with their stories of how they're impacting black and brown children today. This is our Do Something series.
This is the second episode of Do Something and I'm so delighted to have them here with us. So, listen in. Let me tell you something. That was powerful.
There was a few things in there that I was thinking to myself. First of all, your dad's the phrase of the quote, if you have a strength of strength and you bind it with other things, like other resources, I'm like, you know, the whole idea of resilience and I chuckle inside because I just finished doing a video for some women that I work with on this idea of resilience, right? And so being able to not just bounce back, but bounce forward and that every child has that, right? And so here's the thing.
I wrote down the word outlet as moms, as women, as women, right? If we get frustrated with something, we can kind of jump in our car and leave, right? We can kind of jump in our car and go for a ride around the corner, around the block, right? Or we can go to the mall and do a walk around or we can get on the phone and call someone.
So we, as adults, we always have the ability to activate this outlet, to locate an outlet and use it to the fullest, right? Children, children, unless we introduce them to it, don't always have that outlet, right? Like if your kids are struggling with something, they don't always have the freedom to say, I'm just going to jump in the car and leave the house. Well, they can't do that, right?
But what you find is that when we introduce our children with the arts, when we make it okay and give them that pathway to trust their educator, right? That they're with all day, right? They're with the educator all day. When we say that it's okay, that therapy is okay, that counseling is okay and that I'm not going to, I'm not the end all be all, that you know what?
It's okay for you to talk to someone else and get some assistance and kind of talk through your issues. I think that it builds, I think these resources build our children. And so just talking with you all about that, that whole idea, I mean, we're just in such a time where our kids need an outlet and that's so important. The environment, so I'd like you to talk a little bit about, and I'm going to let anybody who jumps in first jump in, how important is the environment that you create for the kids who come into your facilities?
Like, how important is your office or how important is that environment so that they, I don't know, to me it's like they're almost pivoting automatically. So when they're outside the doors and they might be going through something, when they walk into your environment, there's a switch that takes place. Talk to me a little bit about, talk to the pivot family a little bit about the importance of environment. So I'll start with the, when I had my office, right now we are doing just the top left therapy due to the COVID-19.
But when I did have my office, one of the main things that I always supported any client, whether we're adult or children coming in, is letting them know that this is a space and a place for them to feel safe. And I was part of this mantra saying, you know, welcome to this space, where you are loved, you are worthy, you are cared for, you are safe, and you being you, you are always enough. And then we would just take a moment, whether that was through my medication, whether that was through just a moment to be able to absorb that transition of I am leaving where I was in my school or my master's school job, whatever the question is, the now I'm in a space where I can just breathe and beat me. That's why I was meant to encourage that.
Environment I feel is important in a way of a mental environment. I think physical environment is also important. So obviously you have your own record, yourself lighting, et cetera. But I think the mental environment is just so much more powerful, especially now with what we are viewing.
We want to support our children. I try to support our children and coming to a safe space of mind. So when you are having, you know, you've already mentioned that, you know, as a whole point, we're talking about TikTok. And so when they see all this stuff on social media, when they see all this stuff on different news outlets, I try to support them and saying, okay, but where are you today?
What is your emotional temperature today? Let's bring you, not only what you're observing, but your own personal, unique space. And so the environment of mental safety is extremely important because it builds that report and it builds that trust and letting them know that in my space right now, um, I'm like therapy, for example, but it's they are seeing any other support that they are in a space of mental safety, non-judgment, non-biased. And that is important because again, we want to validate our children's place in this world and this time right now.
So I only have 15 minutes with you. So in that time, I want to make sure that you've come in knowing that whatever you say, whether it's, you know, um, I'm mad about all of this stuff that's going on on on TV or, you know, I'm angry because I can't see my boyfriend today. That's over. It's a space of basically feeling that you are a valid person and that you are able to utilize that reinforcement to be able to express yourself in a way that is, um, hopefully beneficial to you and also supports me and then being affected with my own treatment and being able to focus on where you and I may need to meet so that I can continue to enforce your resilience and your strengths.
Nice. I'm going to piggyback off of what you said about the mantra. Like I love that. We also have a mantra too.
One of my staff members, she's also a therapist and she's a, a therapist as well. And so she created that as well. And so our favorite word is love. And so we constantly push that in our children that you have to love yourself and that you have to love each other.
And it's something that we just drill into them and when they come through the doors, I think with the arts, a lot of times, um, are you think competition and so they come in thinking that they have to out do the next person, but just continuing to let them know that we're welcoming to all levels and there's no competition. We're going to learn together. No one has a rock. We're going to learn together.
We're going to grow together. We're going to teach each other. And so we've just created that atmosphere for our children just to know that when you come through this door, it's brotherly insistory love. We have more girls and we do boys.
But we have a majority of the is females, but when we work with them in classes or when we go out and we do outreach programs, we constantly drill that in that we're going to work together. No one is above anyone. This is all together. We're all going to learn something new.
We're going to learn from each other. We allow our children to be a part of the creative process, which I think is very key to building that environment of trust because they're like, hey, you're recognizing me and what I can do in my capabilities in my artistic form. And so we just try to just really open that up. And so even at the end of our class with a mantra piece, we say, I love myself.
I love my neighbor. And we say, because I am loved. Well, we can't help now because of COVID. But I love them.
It's it with some restrictions, but try to do things creatively to tell them that they are loved and to remind them that they are loved and that we are here to love them. And it does create such a safe space for our children to trust us and to talk with them. I want our children to come to class with attitude. And I'm like, what's happening?
And it's the attitude towards their parent. And it's because the parent might be a little bit frustrated about what's going on and the child's frustrated about trying to tell the parent. But when they come here, they find it a safe place to say, my mom, she's not going to listen to me. And we're able to talk to them one on one.
And then you know, say, hey, mom, you know, this is what's happening. And the parent not really fully knowing because they're frustrated in their own. I want to do I want to do a hard take. I'll see her later when I pick her up.
But you know, just being that safe place for the children to say, this is stressing me out at school. And my parent is not understanding that. And they just don't get it. And so I'm coming to you.
And so now we get to be kind of like that mediator to say, this is what your child is doing with. You know, if it's something that you know, they feel if it's, you know, something that they just want to confide in us or they don't mind that we also talk to their parents. But a lot of times it's just, you know, we're able to go to the parent and say, she's just frustrated. She's having some issues at school.
Maybe you want to sit down and talk to her without you being frustrated. And you know, being able to have that communication and you know, and the parents say, okay, thank you for letting me know. You know, thank you. So it's just, I think environment is so important.
I also think inside the building, tangibly and being able visual, I think environment is also important having like fun colors. So just moving into our new facility. Like I decided to have like, you know, just fun colors. We're in a time where it just, it's so much happening that, you know, I didn't want to, want anyone to come in the doors and feel dark and heavy.
So inviting, just having an atmosphere that's inviting and that's fun and say, hey, when you come in these doors, let's do it. We're going to have a good time. Express yourself, dance, act, whatever you want to do. This is your time.
This is your zone. So I think that's so important that we build that environment that safe place and that safe pavement, like you mentioned, for our children because they're going to go find it somewhere else and it's on the streets or something. So I know Denise is probably going to jump in, but I have to say, and she would probably appreciate this. You know, when you walk in Walmart, you get no shade to Walmart.
But when you walk in Walmart, there is one feeling. But when you walk in Target with that bright red, the bright red balls meeting you before you even get in there, you walk in and it's color, color, color. You just want to buy the whole store. And so of course, I'm not going to talk about the psychology behind colors, but I'm telling you there's something about the atmosphere that you create.
Denise, I know you might want to jump in and talk about that. Right now, so many things. One, okay, I'm going to go with the whole color thing. So I like a pop of color when it comes to childcare because when they're younger, they don't have a lot of language.
They have all these thoughts and things going. And honestly, in childcare, all of that, if it's like popping and vibrant and doing too much, it can probably make them a little crazy. So I like the Reginald million approach, which is, you know, basic wood, white colors with some pops of things before it's on a wall of pop of red, here in blue, orange, all those beautiful things. But yes, environment.
So, you know, like my sister over here, if you, you know, your kids can come in and say, I'm so irritated. My teacher, she's getting an exam today. And my mom was yelling at me. We don't get that.
We can't put that together for these kids. They're coming in crying. It's not in, you know, yelling or just having random tantrums and we're trying to figure it out, but they don't have those words. So, you know, we have to be loving and accepting and nurturing and just really ready to turn out the noise in our head and what's going on so we can calm them down because they may not say it, but they can feel that mom was running late for work and she just snatched a little jacket on them and said, getting the car to be quiet on that.
No, nothing. I'm listening to the news. I don't even know if it's going to the election. And we're saying all these things through the week and they're filling all this.
They're coming in full like, oh, that's my spider man. Because we have to get out there. They're just like, Spiderman. That's what's wrong with him.
Oh my gosh. Oh my goodness. So, you know, we have to filter through all that. We have to sometimes touch into the therapist that we are not in.
Let's do some deep breathing. We're having this morning. What did you do when you woke up? Are you forgetting anything?
Like, what? You can just try to filter. You know, you know, definitely having, you know, loving environment. But also in our environment kind of discounts, sometimes it comes with a lot of things.
Like, sometimes it comes with any thinner. Yeah. You know, we put a strong emphasis on being kind. I wish somebody would have taught a certain individual kindness because they wouldn't be having the tantrums that they're having in the national.
Right. We ain't going to go there, but we know. We know. It's a muscle we got to work it out.
So that's another thing that we teach our kids to be kind. So, you know, could you imagine if they're loving and kind, if you raise a loving and kind generation. Yes. Oh my gosh.
It's like, it's just amazing. And it's humbling to know that, you know, we have a part in doing that. That's wonderful. And does that, is that the same for both facilities for you?
There's an age different for your second, your second facility. So how does that, I don't want to exclude that because I've seen the bright lights honey. And I said, oh no, I know those babies aren't screaming. So tell us a little bit about the atmosphere there as well.
So that's that atmosphere is different and it's developing. So what's nice is we have a lot of young gentlemen there and that's helping me with that location. And they just crave this man's attention all day long. What to see and do and be everything for them.
And it's like, wow. So in that arena, I am grateful because, you know, because a lot of them are boys. They're not going to say, oh, you know, I'm not feeling well. My teachers irritate me.
They might just back the computer and fold their arms. You know, amen. What's up? Right.
Right. I don't push my desk like that. Right. Let me get you some cereal.
But I need you to come back on that. Relax. All right. That's not going to be good.
So, yeah. So we do deal with the older kids over there. I also have experience in early learning. I had been, you know, in all his education, all that.
He definitely is instrumental in that piece because I wanted to reach that population. I have, you know, a love for teenagers and young adults and things like that. But sometimes I'm a little mama in that. I'm like, I'm not going to be able to help me bring the education.
I'm like, it's just not full. No, thank you. You know, that's what he can help me in that area. So I'm loving both of it.
I don't get a chance to spend as much time as I would like to. But in the new year, I will be able to, I'm in the process of training my director and establishing her at the early learning center. And then I can turn more of my focus over, you know, which she's so amazing. So I'm going to be able to do that.
Great. Great. I think that we, and I want to make sure I'm careful. But I really do think that it's a learning process for all of us.
Right. So I work on higher education. So I'm working with, y'all doing all the pre work. Okay.
We all doing the pre work. All right. And then they, you know, if they go to college, they get on that at that age level, then we work with them there. And that's a whole different, that's just a whole different work.
Right. Because at that point, they're in their minds, they're adults. In my mind, I'm like, you just trying to be an adult. Okay.
You ain't ready yet. Okay. So let me school you a little bit. But I'll get in for the part.
Right. Okay. So let me direct you a little bit. But I think that, I think that in all of what I'm hearing is there's this idea of love and there's this idea of building.
And so I want to ask you, and you all don't have to, but you can jump in if it's really grabs you. But how do you build black and brown kids students? Because that doesn't start on my level when I'm working with them as college students. That starts as babies.
That starts as at, you know, at 10, 11. And so how are you building that, that, that self love, self prize, self, you know, it's okay to be black and America today or how do you let them know in so many different creative ways that that it is okay and that we're going to be okay. Right. How do you build hope into, into young people during this really it's a tumultuous time that we're living in.
And I think every, like you said, the three or four year olds might not be experiencing it, but they're hearing something, right? We're spirit, so spirit beings. So we can feel with stuff is off in house. You know, you get feeling like very much.
We're like, you know, your kids are watching things like what's going on there. And they're young, but they're feeling something. So how are we building that kind of, just like, you know, kind of like what's in snap company self love, self respect, but also it's okay. Like we're going to be okay.
It's okay to be black and America, black and brown America today. Well, I have to say one of the first things I did actually, one of my first jobs when I left college was working for an art learning center as well. And I worked for a black couple. And so one of the things that I learned very, very quickly is that children identify with a horse with what they can see as part of the early part of their development.
So one of the things that I support and some of my younger children on is just the first of all identifying themselves in spaces and places of love and pride. So, so for a lot of my youngest, I am seeing currently the nine year old over at the practice. And the first thing that we talked about was I said, you as a, you're, you're putting on a show about yourself. So tell me, you have to say you're advertising for it.
So we talked about what does it mean to advertise, you know, to commercialize, et cetera. And I said, I want you to draw a picture and then I want you to pull in some other pictures of people that you see would identify or you could see those expressions kind of say how you're feeling. So I would support the children on is trying to see themselves in these positive places and in these positive situations. So not only seeing ourselves in, you know, that we're in school or happy students, but also seeing ourselves playing, you know, maybe, you know, playing a special sport, dancing in ballet.
So trying to find some happy children, black and brown children who are in ballet and they're dancing, finding happy, black and brown children who have test tubes in their hand. And so I, I use that, that artistic therapeutic approach and have them seeing themselves identifying their own, their own face in all these different positive spaces. And so that's where I started off with. And even with like my school based therapy, I used to have them come in and I had a poster that literally had pictures of black and brown children that had the happy, sad, so I think a lot of them have seen that, you know, I know Denise had probably, you know, in her room where you tell the kids, okay, so which, most of you still like that, which one go point to it?
But I would have black and brown children on my poster so they could literally go and point to someone who looks like them that says they're happy or looks like that that says they're sad. And so we were able to then, as they developed their vocabulary skills, be able to now, we verbally express our emotions, but then also visually be able to identify what that looks like. And then we started talking about what that feels like inside and how our emotions and our feelings connect to our physical being. So, you know, it was, it's, that's how I try to support building upon understanding of self and self-love, seeing ourselves in many different situations because our media shows us in many negative situations.
And they shows us in all these other more, you know, toxic situations or, or in a very unflattering line. Both the children and the adults. So I try to support them and build that self acceptance of. And here's a beautiful young woman who's dancing in ballet.
Here's a beautiful, here's a wonderful little boy who is using a test tube and he's using his ruler to try to draw something or he's building with lay-dows showing them that you, just who you are, is beautiful. And look how many things you can do just by seeing that other people who just like you are doing these same things. I like that. Libby, I saw you unmute.
Yeah. Same thing as I'm just going to add on to that because the artistic part of it is definitely therapeutic. And so we are able to put that into some movement. We're able to pin the name of our organization.
We called scene in action. It's like the movie scene because we're able to talk about those things and that's play on it. That's because let's do a show about it. And so we recently did, I want to say maybe two years ago, we did a show called Bison Color.
And it was specifically about that. It was about teaching our children to love themselves, you know, matter what color they are. But to love themselves, black and brown children. And we all look different as black and brown children.
So sometimes I'll have, and I know like my niece, my niece is, they'll tend to say, oh, well, her hair is not like mine. Or she's lighter than me. And I get that a lot, especially with my darker, complex girls, those, you know, those things about the lighter or vice versa. And so I found that to be an issue.
And I said, okay, this year is something that's coming to my attention where we're just focusing on each other's skin complexion. Let's talk about being proud of your own skin complexion and how can we turn that into something artistic. So our production was about that, like the color we talked about loving yourself. God made us all differently.
If we all look alike, that would be quite boring. We all have different complexion. We all have different skin tone, hair textures. But be proud of who you are and who God created you to be.
And so just constantly putting that in their mind. And also giving them like you did, Shay, just different people who are like the black and brown women who are like them and young men who are doing amazing things. And so when they get that visual of like, wow, she looks like me, you know, she looks like me. She's the same hair as me or she has the same complexion as me.
And once they're able to see that, it's just like, there's a confidence booster. Like, okay, well, you know, I can, I feel like that. And so I'm just going to put someone out there who represents me. And they're going great.
And so a lot of times we try to put those into our production. So we'll introduce them to a women of color or people in the arts of color, like Judith Jamison and Misty Copeland and Debbie Island. And we'll put those in the production and we'll say, okay, this piece will be about Debbie Island. This piece will be about Misty Copeland.
This piece will be about whoever, you know, even young men, actors and actresses and whoever. But just putting that visual out there for them to see that there are people who look like you who are doing phenomenal things. I actually had a young girl and it was all in the midst of doing this production. We would go out and we would work in the schools as well.
We would teach dancing theater in the schools. And I remember going to the school one day and we had one girl. She was screaming, just screaming in the hallway. So I asked the counselor, I said, what's going on with her?
And he said, well, she said, she said, she tried to scrape her skin. Because she didn't like her skin complexion because she was dark, dark and black. She didn't like it. And she tried to scrape off her skin.
And I was telling her, I said, you know what, that just seemed to be an issue that year. I thought I was going to say this was 2018. I'm like, our children are not heavy with themselves. You know, I don't know, you know, there's something that they're seeing on TV.
You know, we have social media. We have TV. So they see this image as this is what I should look like. And so I was telling her, I said, well, you know what, I'm going to bring her to the flag because this production piece that we're putting together is exactly about that.
It's exactly about teaching her how to love herself, how to love her skin, how to love her hair. Everything about you is beautiful. And so just that constant reinforcement, that constant of self awareness, I think that is important that we have to just continue to pound that into our youth because what they see in social media is with us. Like, if they feel like it's the it factor, like, I have to look like this person.
I have to be like this person. No, you don't. You are who you are. And it's not the, you know, just accept yourself.
So it's very crucial that we do that, especially in today's time. Yeah, I think someone who grew up having that low self esteem and looking at others and thinking they were prettier than me or they had better hair than I do or their eyes were lighter. So they must be better. And I think that it was something I said to a student recently I said, you know what, we've got to unlearn some things and there's some things that, of course, because of the images that our young people see, but we really need to reinforce the opposite, right?
The opposite of such that they are beautiful and that they are not a mistake. And you know how it is. It's like really, and what I love is that you all are doing is using your areas of expertise, right, to do that, whether that's through some conversation or 50 minutes of uninterrupted time with them to speak into their lives or, you know, the time that you share with them as they're creating a production and then allowing them to be a part of creating the production, right? And so, you know, Denise, I didn't know if you wanted to share some things, but I know that, you know, through what you're doing, I'm sure there's times when you have to reinforce positivity to your young black and brown children.
And so, I think that's the way that we're doing this conversation with them. We're here at the Home Stretch, but I just appreciate the information that they're sharing the stories and the insight that they're giving us today. So here we go. I want to say a lot of positive affirmation, you know, like good job.
Look at you. Wow, I love that, you know, things like that to help them build self esteem. So I think that's the main thing, a lot of positive affirmation and verbal praises for the good jobs that they do from going to the painting, a work of art, you know, whatever the case may be, letting them know that they're appreciated and loved and how well they're doing. Well, you know, I think we take a grant and we think that, you know, that's something that's the norm.
And so that's not, they may not be the norm. Okay. You know, parents drop their kids off at either one of your facilities and they're like, Oh, hey, are you doing? Okay.
Or they may just be like, thank you by, you know, but whatever whatever interaction you have, we don't always see the true parent necessarily, right? But the child sees the true parent, right? They see what's happening at home. You know, if they're getting positive reinforcement, you can tell when a child comes into the environment and some of the things they say about themselves, their view of the world, right?
Their perspective, how they shape their thoughts, you know, you can tell. So what I love is that we are, there was a woman who was on, I think, CNN yesterday, and she was in a biracial marriage. And she was like in tears because she said, you know, finally, there's someone up there on that platform that is like in an interracial marriage. And I was reading again, another woman was saying not only that, they had named about being in an interracial marriage, but she's also a stepmom, right?
And she's, she's just like, she's all mixed in with a lot of different culture, right? And she's at an HBCU, graduated from HBCU. She's in a sorority. I mean, there were so many different pieces about Kamala Harris that women are now saying, I can identify with that level, with that level.
And little girls are saying, I can reach that level, right? I don't have to be perfect. This perfect look, this perfect person. I don't have to be in this particular box.
But there's some possibilities there, right? And I think that that's really ultimately what we want to do. We want to share with our children, no matter what age, there's possibilities. And this outlet is going to help hone in on that and help water the seed that's planted in you.
And I'm going to help you to grow as much as possible, whether that's through education, whether that's through the arts, or whether that's through counseling. And I love that. I love that. So I want to thank you all for just sharing.
I think I'm going to end with this question to all of you. Tell me one thing that you have learned from your children, from the children that you young, young adults, children, young adults, what's one thing that you have learned from them in your experience? Love is, love is boundless. Love truly has no limits.
Love can be all forgiving. Love can be all encompassing. Love is boundless in its expression. And I think if anything, my children are taught me that for positive or sometimes, you know, even sometimes not so positive situations.
Love can truly encompass and bring in all of those healing factors and all of those things that we think we've either forgotten or we've lost sight of. You know, my last client that I had, who was a young client, one of the things that she had said to me was when she first started seeing me was that, you know, I know my, my adoptive parents loved me, but they don't look like her. And so she questioned how they could love her. Because my own parents, they look like me, don't.
So how could they love her? And so we began a journey of what does love feel like and what does love look like. And we started identifying her own love and again, showing her and having her experience that her own intrinsic connection to her self love to the emotion of happiness, enjoy and contentment and brought. And then from that, the ripple effect was, if I can find that love within myself, and again, going back to that resilient and that enforcement strengths, I can find out what's in my family and I can find that within the love of my community.
And so I, for whatever reason, things can work out for, you know, this other situation that love truly has bound me to my family in a way that now shows me that I am not only, I'm not like my loved and I know, you know, we had talked about before, but that also, I'm worthy of love. And so that's probably the biggest thing I've taken away from all of my kids. And so I'm a little adolescent that loves is balanced and has no limits. And as long as we show them how to have that be a space of safety and expression and positivity, what's loving boundaries as well.
That's also important. We have to make sure that they understand that while it's boundless, we wanted it to be, we still want it to be safe. So we want safe and as much as possible, love is limitless. And that has been probably one of the biggest eye-opening things in seeing children.
Nice. Okay. Love is limitless Denise. What have your children taught you?
Oh my goodness. They taught me a lot of things. I'll just sum it up. They taught me about myself.
Like, you know, about some, some things about myself that, like, whether good or bad, you know, how to go and go through these things and be a better person. So yeah, I would just say, good stuff. Lydia, what have your children taught you? That's such a good question.
I had to say here and say, yeah, what did they teach me? Can I always, I do learn from them? But when you really sit down and think about it, I have to say that living like fearlessly. And having that child like face, you know, sometimes as adults, we get so caught up in everything that we have to do with, you know, what's going on in the world.
And we allow that to hinder us from doing things that we have to do and moving forward. But then when you just watch a child, you just sit and watch a child and just see how free they are. Just, you know, of course they don't handle bills, they just do whatever they want. They're just free and they just, you know, they're in the world where so much craziness happening, but they're living life and they're just enjoying themselves, you know, to the best of their ability.
And it's like, I have to learn how to do that sometimes. So I think that's an awesome lesson just to learn how to live freely and fearlessly and move in life regardless of all the craziness that's going on and having that child like face of just saying, okay, God got me. I love that. I love that.
And I think it's important sometimes to evaluate that. You know, what am I learning? I think I learn from my sons just about every day. One more lesson here or there.
And so I just wanted to kind of put that question out there. I want to thank you. Oh, wait, I was in piggyback. I wish she said because I think about some of the girls in my class, my class, but in like the preschool class and you know, we always say they live there absolutely best life.
We'll come in with two, two, one and princess dresses and Sierra and they're just, I mean, going with the wind fabulous and you couldn't tell them anything. I'm like, I want to live like that. I want to be you when I grow up. Just right.
Whatever. I am Snow White today. There's only different like, I love it because, you know, going back to how we talk about love and some information and all that stuff like that. I think about this post that I see that it was so funny because I said, this is me.
Somebody will be like, you look really cute today. I'll be like, Merry Christmas. Can't take a compliment. Like, Oh, go ahead.
You're doing the thing. It's like, yeah, you too. I got awkward moment. I'm just like, Oh, wait, what was that supposed to happen?
So, you know, just giving that to the children young. And because they heard enough, unfortunately, bad things, you know, like my generation got blushed and some of them, they don't mean bad by it, but they may be like, I have a good day. No, it's so bad. They don't mean that they love them, but just hearing, you know, something else that could put something negative in them and you can't accept a compliment.
Or something like that. So definitely lots of love and positive affirmation and nurturing being able to express themselves to the creative art, you know, art's being able to know that thing. If the therapist is not a bad thing, it's not the wrong with it at all. You know, so just being exposed to that actually, the purpose we're soaring will be doing the session for my parents.
And you know, how to navigate that with your children. So just introducing them to these concepts and these things early in life. Very nice. I really do appreciate the perspectives today.
I think this episode just was rich. We just have some amazing women who are doing the work. They are doing something pivot family. And, you know, when you think about your children, sometimes our children get, I don't want to say left behind, but we're so busy hustling and bustling with our own businesses and our own nine to five jobs and our own goals.
And I think about this scripture that talks about a good man. I'll say a good man or woman, but a good man leaves an inheritance for their children's children. And that says to me that if you're going to leave something for your children's children, there has to be a great investment. And it has to be an investment in our children.
There has to be. We can't get so locked up with what we're going through that we forget about our children, right? And what we are living in front of them, what we're sharing in front of them, how we're using our words in front of them. And that's not to say we're going to be perfect, but it is going to say that we're making a concerted effort to provide our children with the best of who we are.
And when we can't do that, we go do like I do a right around town. Take a deep breath and come back. So you can have the best of me. Okay.
But we do what we need to do and we provide ourselves an outlet so that we can give our kids the best. We take risks because we want to give our kids the best of the best. Right. We step out on faith because we want to give our children.
So I really want to thank you. Shela. I want to thank Lydia and Denise for coming on here to share about what they're doing to contribute to our young black and brown children, how you're helping them to pivot during this time of change. Right.
This is this is definitely a new step into a new territory. Right. And so it's important for us to help our black and brown children navigate through this new place. So thank you so much for all of my guests.
Thank you so much, pivot family for listening. Don't forget to share the episode. Go to Apple podcast and like review, follow the whole nine. Go to Spotify and do the same.
Pray that you have a fantastic day. Thank you so much for your support.