We are recording. Yes we are. I can see it here. It's coming.
There's a lady coming. It's alright, she's a joker and I think she's just jogging by. I know, but feel weird. Well then don't do a podcast then for a minute.
Hello everybody. My name is Paul Gallon. Paul and I... No, Eli, no.
That's very revealing. Paul and I. Paul and I. It's only me here.
It's only me here. Eli's a thickness of my imagination. It's like that film without a cloak. There was no Sherlock Holmes.
But Watson wrote the stories and created Sherlock Holmes. Played by Michael K. And Kingsley playing Watson. Isn't it really really good that...
It's alright. It's alright for what it is. It's aged better. At the time it's a little bit of a kind of really.
But anyway, look Sherlock, we're doing a podcast outside. This is not... I need to stress this. This is not a Walk-About episode.
We ain't walking. We ain't walking. We are sitting in a field where? This is a field.
You can talk louder because the microphone can pick it up. She's got her phones and anyway. She ain't listening. There's a lady jogging lady walking past...
Anyway. And I had a dog sniff my box. Move the bag. The bag sniff your box.
Yeah, the dog sniff my droopy bag. Strudel bag. Strudel bag. Sorry.
Stop Eli. I often think that. Stop Eli. Hello everybody.
We're here in Crouch End. Crouch End playing fields. It's a sort of complex of cricket grounds and tennis courts. But it has this magical old...
It's a football pitch, isn't it? But it's become a meadow. It's a meadow. It has got a goalpost there.
But only at one end. So it's joining Shepherd's Hill allotment. And then on the other side of the allotment's there, Paul, is Shepherd's Hill recreation ground. Do you remember?
It's like, you can't get it here, from here. There should be a path made. But it's a lovely... It's all just down from high gate.
You remember? And there's a little park. It's on a hillside. Yeah.
That's just up there. Yeah. But we're not there. We're in this meadow.
Cool Shepherd's Cop or something. What was it called? Cot. Cot.
Shepherd's Cot. Is it Cot? I think it was Cot. This isn't part of the cot, though.
No, this is a meadow adjoining the cot. This is a lovely little meadow. And you can walk. A meadow it.
You can walk. Yeah. Indeed it is. It's not a pastry, though.
No, it's not a pastry. We both can agree on that. It's narrow enough. It's about an hour-on-hour visit to be a pastry.
It's definitely too wide to be a pastry. You can get here all the way up to... All the way up to High Gatewood and Queenswood, which are up the hill that way. And Ali Palley's up that way.
Ali Palley is actually visible. Yeah. But behind that sound of trees. Yeah.
So it's 33 degrees here in London today. And I didn't want to do an episode in your flat, so they just all honestly... Or my flat, to be honest. If it gets above about 25, you know, our flat, there's no air conditioning.
Not good. It is unbearable. And my flat becomes a sweat box too. It does, yeah.
Yeah. But listen, that's why we're out in the meadow. It's just an episode that just happens to be outside. It's really weird doing this podcast where these headphones aren't listening.
Because we've got the pale mics on, so if the sound quality is odd or different, this is why we're using these. But we've got the other phones on. And it just feels like everything's robotic. Well, because I can hear my voice coming back to me.
Welcome to the future. I am Paul Bart. Everything is going to be robotic in the future. Yes.
Prove it. I'm reaching into my pants. Because we are Android Dom. Robodick.
Robodom. Oh, man. That's poor, poor stuff on us. Anyway, look at this.
What are you getting this week? You're getting a very hot, lazy... Sorry, everyone. Yeah, sorry, everyone.
But we do have some things to do. We do so. Should we get on with it? What's coming up on the show today?
We are all the credits in now. We are everybody in the credits. Cheap Show to the bottom of the way to Cheap Show. Right.
Hello, welcome to Cheap Show's economy, copy, podcast, and Eli and me, Mr. Paul Ganon. Go through the bargain business chair at Shop to Powerlands. Great, and bring back the treasure.
Fungal. Anyway, fungal rash. Anyway. What?
Fungal rash. I've got treasure in my fungal rash. Niblets. Anyway, hello.
Niblegrots. I've got foliage. Fomi foliage. Fomi foliage with niblegrots.
I've got rashes all over my legs. It does have rashes. It's got an hive. This is what he does for the art of this part.
Hello, everyone. I'm only like Sylvan. I've got a little clue there to what he's coming up. Well, he's coming up.
We can do it right now. We can do it right now. We can't drink something. Yeah, because I don't have too hard to put effort in.
So let's just get this one out for way. What about next week? There's next week. It's a stressy one.
Next week, we are recording episode 400 and basically you're getting two 400s for the price of one. The real episode 400 will be a YouTube video episode. Wouldn't that be 800? 400?
Yes, it would. But also, there is a podcast. Wait, what you see on YouTube is going to be something very different. It's going to be tossed off.
So anyway, look, we've got a lot going on next week. So I'm stressing about that. I'm always stressing. But it's going to be good.
We're going to do a lot of fun. I'm going to do a lot of fun next week. I'm going to do a lot of fun next week. Oh, what?
It's a fly on your foot. Oh, it's a five to five. I know it was a horse fly. I don't want one of those.
It's definitely coming out of bad eyes. It looks like a scar omelet. Scrumble it. No, slumble it.
Scrumble it. It's microbolic. It's hot. I'm itching sweating my dirty tits off.
Paul, maybe I'll put the slum. I would say the level of focus today is at historically low level. And for us, that's saying something. Yeah, but what would be worse?
Us putting in barely any effort for an episode in the heat or just not doing it at all. Probably not doing it. Our reputation can't get much lower. No, that's it.
We're in like Flynn. I brought my Thermos. Cafe. Yeah.
By Thermos. This is for a food, but it's also good for big, like, mixology, soil, ice cubes, which I've got two of today. Right. It's needed.
And it's all this stuff together. They do, don't they? Now what you're going to do? Oh, he's got his ice big ice clops to stuff together.
Oh, mate, there's a dodgy bloke over there in the yellow shirt. And he looks really old. What's going on? He's eating berries.
Blackberries. Slender Manish. He's got a nice red hat on. You bashing your ice.
Yeah, you got it. There's your ice. Oh, yeah. In the glass it goes.
In the glass it goes. Right. Sweet. So anyway, we're kicking off with some lovely refreshments that Eli's picked up.
What refreshments have you got, Mr. Silverman, in this episode of Cheap Show Anodom in I-2024? I have a special edition. Oh, he's talking right into the mic now, so it's better, closer quality, isn't it?
He speaks right into the mic and not looks off in the other direction. I-rection. That's when you've got an eyebone or on. No, there's a joke there.
When you see something, it's hard to read an eye-rection. It's hard to read. It's hard to read. What?
What do you mean, hard to read? It's hard to get your eyebone and it's hard. Let's work on this outside. Oh, what's this?
I-pro student recommended by Parker on Berry Mix. Five of your one a day. This job, I read this job especially because Paul said to me, get some funny. Do you think you can get some funny sodas for Monday?
I didn't say funny. Unusual. Unusual. I can look at the text right now and see what you actually said.
I mean, yeah, but that's not. Okay. Something like that. I didn't say get some whack-a-doo for all of you.
Just like get some unusual. I know what. I'm fucking not having this for you. I'm not having this for you.
Unusual. I bet. I don't know what that was. How you darling miss you.
Love you very much. I'll get a check about you last night. It's going through. Blah, blah, blah.
Oh, wait. I can't see it. Maybe I left it as a voice message. So therefore, I don't have any.
There's no literal proof. It doesn't matter. You ask me to get sodas and I've come through. You have.
A shop sprang to mind on West Green World, the shop called Green Foods. Green Foods, everybody. It's like a, like, get around my part of North London. You get extremely diverse multicultural grocery stores, basically.
that have everything from Chinese noodles at one end to Turkey's olives. And you get, they have really big soft drinks fridge. Can I just, there's so many soft drinks out now. And this one caught my eye because it was only quid.
So that's a decent price. But what is going on with these products? It's called iPro Student Recommended by Parr Grun. So it's what it's linked into some other product or something.
You know, isn't Parr Grun like an apple something where you can go running in the park. It must be something like that. Maybe a fitness app. So it's either way.
It's a ball. It's a very mix. And it says one of your five a day. Fruits.
Real fruit juice concentrate. Right. It's a good thing. No artificial colours or flavours.
No added sugar. So might be alright. Alright. Let's find out.
It's just the absolute AI-tinged garbage of what it's called. You know what I mean? Why do you call it product bad? It's been designed.
I Pro Student Recommended by Parr Grun. It's been designed if you ask me to kind of look very comfortable on like a gym wall full of drinks. You know, like with all the protein powers and everything. It's got that same design.
It's nonsense. Anyway. We'll be trying it. Very cheap.
Very cheap. And they're all the flavours available. I'm going to give it the old fordoo. And what we got.
It's like a bit like a bavino with a little apple juice. I know. It's all right. It's berry mixed flavour.
Which is what? Strawberries, raspberries, blueberries. Blackcurrants. Nick Berry.
Chuck Berry. Nick Berry and Chuck Berry should have turned up and called themselves the Berry mix. That would have been good, wouldn't it? Yes.
They were a lot of the same time. I don't know why. I know. Their people didn't come up the idea.
Probably because Chuck Berry is one of the greatest and most influential musicians of the 20th century. It was a big scat weirdo. He was a scat man. We bought blah blah blah.
Anyway, I'm going to taste this. You know what it tastes like to me? Melted Mr. Freeze Berry or Blackberry.
Melted Isolole. It hasn't got a very intense sweetness. No. It tastes like a wisest or something.
Just one of those. Yeah. That's a lot of fuss over and nothing. That's not very good.
Not sickly. It's fine. I want more tartness. Still, I want some more bite.
I wish it was a very good. It's fine. It's not bad. It's a juicy thing isn't it?
It's fine for what it is. It's fine. I'll leave onto our next item. I'm trying to go here in order of exciting this.
That's the least exciting. Yeah. We're good. We're going.
Yes, I wanted to try. What is it? Song kissed. Mango orange.
Song kissed used to be a brand. It did. It still is. No, but it used to be a British brand.
I don't think it is here anymore as a brand in Britain. It wasn't soft drink cans. It was like Sine D wasn't it? It was like weird.
Oh, I don't know. That's not due internet. It's not an internet research. It's not an internet research.
It's not an internet research. No. It's just you want to do nothing. We could just have to notch this off.
Nosh this off indeed. We could have field ambiance for the next four minutes. How do you like that ladies and gentlemen? Field ambiance.
Here we go. Here's some. What a lovely bit of ambiance. What a lovely bit of ambiance.
What a lovely bit of ambiance. What are the podcasts? You feel ambiance. However, I think there's no podcast.
Yeah. It's just you. Some kissed. Mango orange.
I think it might be a bit of cotton or a packet wallet. It was something like that. It was like Sine D adjacent. Sine D adjacent.
But now I think it is basically a sort of Hong Kong Far East brand. You see it in all of those Asian grocers. Right. With multiple things.
This is their mango orange. This is a sparkly. It definitely wasn't a sparkly drink. I can't tell.
When was in the UK? Are you ready for this? What do you think? Do you like mango orange?
It's an idea. I am not a huge fan of mango. I can't find the flavour weird. Oddly savoury almost.
It's a bit of sweet beef. Oddly. It has a sort of almost meaty fruit steak. Yeah.
Kind of vibe. Yeah. That's what I like about it. It's a rich flavour.
It's not just a... Yeah. What's the hell for a port? Mr Silverman.
Oh, there we go. That smells exactly like what they say it is. That's the smells. You know what it smells like?
When Lynx officiated like fruity scent or something. It's got that weird Lynx hand wash. Fruit of the summer hand wash. Yeah, fruit of the day.
It does. Yeah, you're absolutely right. Tropical fruit radox. It's a bit of this.
It is. It is. I mean they must use similar aromatic chemicals. You know.
It's all right. I get coconut there. Yeah, there's a little bit of a weak coconut. There's mango, coconut and pineapple.
Especially they're artificial counterparts. There's something similar about all of them aren't there. I think they use the same. There's definitely a coconut bite there, isn't it?
But you can also see it as a pineapple bite. It's definitely got a whole creamy note that melon has. Whoa, what was that funny? What was that funny?
Leave being sick of the cup. What's going on? No man, that melon has. That wasn't weird moment.
I don't know why you found that so I'm using it. It was amusing to me man, I'm sorry. Right. It was all right.
I mean it's better than the other. I think it was better than that. I enjoyed it more. It was carbonated, which has a better...
Yeah. How'd you big ice cube doing? Going so far so good. Very good.
What have we got next? On the list. Right. Yep.
You finished having a face of shit. Sorry, it's just a melon. I wasn't expecting the word melon there. Because I'd mentioned coconut.
You were carrying on the sentence. You sort of agreed with me. And then melon came up. I hadn't said melon.
That's what got me. Sorry everyone. Here we go. Okay Paul.
Here we go. Now, this is... We did a taste test, which I didn't do very well at with the orange sodas. They're all very much of a muchness.
Much of a muchness. I did identify Ula Daga as the definite best of those. That is a delicious sauce. Someone on Twitter today said they could order the big pallet of it from Turkey.
Because they want to try it now. Are they big fans of orange soda? Yeah, I guess so. If they're fans of orange soda, I don't think they're going to be disappointed.
It's a great one. You can't like love tango. And then have that and think that's not better. I would like to hear what they say.
I want to see it. If you're listening to this, then please tell me what you thought about spending all that money on Ula Daga. Now, I tasted tango in that blind taste test last week. I was very impressed.
It's not a very good soft drink tango. It was just boosted hugely by one of the most famous controversial ad campaigns of the whole of the 90s. Of the whole 90s. You know what you've been tangoed.
And then you get smacked in the face by a big orange fat man. But they pulled that version, the smacked in the face version. And then they did the kissy lip one instead. Yeah, but they pulled that version quite quickly.
Because kids were slapping themselves in school. They're getting deafened to what I heard. Because it's like two hands across both sides of their face. Yeah.
They should have had the tango man running, jack the guy off, and then run off. They did get some of those ads. They get a bit sort of kink adjacent. Weird.
Some of them. There's a guy on YouTube who has an ankle bop of the fish and he does a big old breakdown. Doesn't need the hard sell. That's just what I'm referencing as well.
And he does a breakdown of the history of advertising campaigns or TV. The old TV in general. Great research. Great research.
And really well put together. So well worth checking out if you haven't seen it. Anyway, and that era is when tango changed to these black labels, the black background. It was white before, wasn't it?
And black is meant to be, and it is sort of a throwback that whole look to the sort of extreme 90s. Now, what have we got here though? What have we got here though? I'm asking you.
I'm handing it to you. Raspberry Blast. Not my favourite Prince song. Raspberry Blast.
And a fan of a fan of vinegar. Car-baked apple and raspberry soft drink with sweeteners, Mr Silverman. No, but look at look. What?
Limited drop. It's a limited drop. What does that mean? Limited edition in Kid Speak.
Yeah, but drop is like what you call an album or a track. That's where it came from. It's a new product. It's a limited drop.
We're dropping tango, yo. It doesn't, does it, do you think that's cringe the way they say limited drop? Yeah, okay. It's tango with its bare fingernails cloring, grasping on the window ledge of fate before it topples and down onto the street of pointlessness.
Anyway, it is a limited edition tango flavour and there was two of them there but this one spoke to me because we have discussed on the show before. What is the colour of the liquid in that bottle? It is a kind of murky blue. It is raw blue rice but they don't call it blue raspberry, do they?
No, it's raspberry blast. So my theory that blue raspberry is moving up the culture like that. The fizz, oh, it's got a good fizz. But fizz.
Oh, now I've got raspberry blast all over me. It's okay. It is sugar free isn't it? Yeah, cool.
What's this smell like? That smells like fucking cleat bleak. Look at this. He's kind of cropper of these new caps.
The caps on bottle that doesn't cause it. They've stopped it now so when you turn a screw cap off it doesn't come off completely. It sticks to the ring around the rim. Yeah.
Unless you pull it off like you just did the. That's because you're a good man. Yes. Sniff it though.
Tell me that doesn't smell like it should be on your sink. Then the next time you have a completely heavy soil you're doing your toilet. That is so artificial isn't it? Make a big fucking log in the toilet.
Have to be the tango raspberry blast to shift it. But honestly, it's got horrible even onto the nose. It has that sort of aspartame. There's something off about that smell isn't it?
It puts the ass in aspartame. It's very artificial raspberry. Right, I'm going to go in. It's blue.
It's murky blue. It's not even a vibrant blue. Fuck it out. That's horrible.
Really? Well, go for it and find out. Sick and tired of this onslaught of sweetened of flavored drinks because of the sugar tacks. Everything tastes shit.
Just a really empty flavor. Really, really empty flavor. It's like a horrible fake sugar with that stick right in the back of your jowls. And there's no raspberry.
There's no sort of tang to it. There's no flavor there. You know what I mean? It's just that horrible fake sweetness.
And then nothing. And then a little sourness left in the mouth. You know what I mean? I would take more for real sugar than these fucking drinks.
Because you can give it any wacky flavor you want but at the end of the day it's still going to taste like fucking chemical sweet and shit. And it unifies it all. Across every brand. Coke, Pepsi, Tango, whatever.
This sweet, you know, this familiar horrible note which is just ruining flavor. And so the over-parrotty, like wacky mixtures to over-cut them. I know, but in this instance it's barely there any raspberry flavor or apple flavor. Is any apple getting any apple there or anything?
No. Any sort of fruit that's a really bad drink. It tastes like just fucking... Well, it's limited to two.
Grim blue fizz. Well, that drop is going straight in the toilet. Drop it in the blue. Drop it in the blue.
Drop it in the blue. There's one more item, Paul. All right. Now, we've covered tarkies on this show.
Oh, no. Is this what you were talking about? Yeah. Oh, this is what I went to the shop because I saw it before.
Mate, check this out. I'm going to hand it to you for the mic. Okay. Oh, what the fuck is this?
Taki's hot liquid. Jalapeno versus pickle. Five star hot chillies. So this is what it is.
I don't actually know what it is. So it's not fizzy, obviously, because it's in like a juice carton type. It's in a little juice carton that I used to get at school with the foil top. Spicy cucumbers with jalapenos.
It's pickles. Ingredients. Cucumber juice. Cucumbers.
Jalapeno. Water salt. And then a bunch of preservatives. It's like a little bit of preservatives before we open it.
He doesn't seem to be properly brand, brand, it does it? No. I don't know how they got away with that. I think they're not even asking Taki's permission, basically.
What do they mean by Taki? You know, Taki's just that sort of flavour profile. We discussed before. It's that very...
I thought Taki's... That was a brand. The brand is a brand. But I think this might be like a bootleg Taki's product.
This might be... Can I just be honest? I know your conceit behind this was say the weirdest to last. And I totally find that.
It's just when you know that that actually end point. Don't you think we could have ended with like Sunkiss or the fruit? No, Sunkiss left. I guess we've got pallet cleansers left.
Yeah, okay. Shall I look at this? This is going to be a pickle, basically. It's going to be a green drink, isn't it?
No, it's not a drink. Oh, so it's not a drink? I don't think. It says hot liquid.
It's a very confusing product. No, but it says cucumber, doesn't it? So there's cucumbers in it. Okay.
Oh, it's got a... ...popp-foil lid to pull back. Have a smell of that, mate. Oh, no.
It's like Ribena. With cucumber. I have to take a picture of this, mate. Because that's the most troubling thing.
It's really troubling. I've ever fucking seen it. This is proper truckstop food, man. It's gone hide, and the cucumber's gone hide.
You can have to taste one of these, mate. Oh, I am. Mate, I think you're meant to drink the juice as well. Yeah, I think it's actually there's only one cucumber in here.
And that's just for... Oh, it's only one, I'd say. Okay. Have a little...
Have that on ice. It's purple. It looks like Ribena. There's two of these.
Oh. No, these are jalapenos. Oh, right. They're not gherkins.
Oh, look, there's one jalapeno. One gherkin in it. And one gherkin. That's why you've got the pickle versus jalapeno.
They're fighting in the tub. This is the weirdest thing I've seen in a while. Isn't it? Look at that.
They can fight like that. Oh, okay. They're fighting each other. Oh.
In... Here we go. One, two, three. There we go.
Okay. This is... Sweet taste of juice first. Yeah.
Okay, I'm going to pulse and juice now. Oh, it's weird because my brain is like thinking. It's going to be sweet. It's not going to be horrible.
Let's just do this. Ooh. That's very tart. And hot.
Get out. Get out. Oh, I've got it on my knee. Oh.
It's very spicy. It's very spicy. Hot. Drink.
I've tasted the pickle. Yeah. Good pickle. Oh, my God.
It's so hot. Oh. Now I'm biting into the pepper, everyone. This is not the thing we should have done on a hot day.
Oh, it's crispy. It's quite crunchy. It's not bad. It's something to be steeped in whatever that fucking stuff is.
I actually do like that. This is a... You think not anything? It's also just something I wish I hadn't had on the hottest day of the year.
Well, you know, in the hottest parts of the world, they eat very spicy food. It cools you down. Does it? Sounds all like comedy goop to me.
Oh, that's the pickle is actually... Whoa. I did not eat that. My throat's on fire.