Control: The Great Illusionist | After Hours With Amanda Season 3 - Ep. 4

In this episode of After Hours With Amanda, I’m talking about the illusion of control, the routines that make us feel safe, and what happens when life changes enough that the old systems do not fit the same way. This is a long voicemail about overbooking myself, somatic therapy, emotional hijacking, Starbucks rituals, food routines, In N Out Mondays, motherhood, faith, and learning that structure can support us without becoming the measure of whether we are okay. If your habits have shifted, your body feels different, or you are trying to hold everything together because you love your people, sit with me for a bit. 00:00 An Unintended Episode 00:32 Overbooking Myself Again 01:23 Teacher Features and Mini Golf 02:18 Valentine’s Parties and Garden Class 03:17 Thriving on Chaos 04:01 Somatic Therapy and Inside Out 06:11 When One Emotion Hijacks Everything 07:20 When the Body Holds the Feeling 08:00 Journaling Feels Too Honest 09:15 Reporting Versus Really Feeling 10:38 Family Photos and Full Circle Moments 14:32 Swim, Schedules, and Being Voluntold 15:16 The Illusion of Control 16:33 The Starbucks Ritual 20:31 When the Old Systems Break Down 22:19 Trying Decaf and Feeling Anxiety Rise 25:30 What If This Is Not My Jam Anymore? 26:16 Strawberries, Structure, and Flexibility 28:11 Habits Are Helpful Until They Hijack You 30:49 In N Out Mondays and Holding On 33:08 Faith When Everything Falls Apart 34:38 Control, Birth, and Sacred Moments 36:10 When Systems Become the Bar 37:19 Learning to Slow Down 38:10 Control Can Come From Love 40:24 Shaking Up the Systems 42:10 Parenting the Younger Parts of Me 43:27 Pivoting Without Calling It Failure 44:26 Valentine’s Day and Being Loved