Ep. 41 MD Kiley Hanish teaches us after pregnancy and infant loss, our experience with grief can be very internal.

MD Kiley Hanish is an Occupational therapist who specializes in pregnancy and infant loss.  Grief and trauma need to be experienced. And we all must understand that everyone experiences them differently.  The MOVIE Return to Zero was created in honor of their son Norbert.  HOPE: The Foundation was created  Healing Retreat Outreach and education Peer support and community Empowerment What should women expect when they attend one of your retreats?  15-20 women come to feel validated and feel heard, to be supported and to process their feelings and grief.  Yoga, Niia, Talk group circles, Cognitive work, Crafts, Bodywork, Free time, Downtime, time in nature and time to rest.  All of the women are scared and nervous at first and leave feeling loved and respected for their experience.  There is no time limit on processing grief. Anywhere from 2-3 weeks to 35 years! Pregnancy and infant loss is a traumatic PTSD experience that doctors and hospitals are not prepared to handle properly.  Doctors are unprepared for stillbirth! It truly breaks my heart to know how unprepared they are.  Calling to tell the story: Isolated and alone, Felt validated, Felt safe Bring them together and nurture them. I realized that time doesn't heal if you aren't going to work on it. It brought me to my knees. I could now relate to other people who had gone through the same It wasn’t my job to heal them it was my job to hold the space. Learned to feel my feelings and not push them away. It allowed me to cry and mope around and just feel. Gave me permission to be with myself where I was at the moment. Honoring this in myself. It is not going to go away. There will be times now I still feel the pain.  Allowing the idea of integration of the experience. Conflict of what we are going through to the outside. Versus what’s going on on the inside. "I’m fine" attitude! Safe space is created to reconnect to themselves. I am transformed into this new fully developed human. I embrace all parts of myself. I choose to be vulnerable. Kiley kept her own Divorce private and put on a brave mask.  With does grief look like and feel like?  The reason she created HOPE is from her own transformational growth after infant loss. Expanding to a wider community allows a safe place for the unraveling to unfold. Trying to rebuild yourself all in a setting and power of community.  How can we create communities where people help people?  I see the future of training health professionals.  Helping men become vulnerable too! Life is really hard. We all need help.  Being able to accept the full picture of life is complex. We don’t have to be defined by our pain and experience. It wasn’t until I actively participated in our own growth that we heal. We all need a guide. We all need someone to walk with you through your pain. I believe Kiley is that spiritual guide. Kiley's next retreat is in April in Northern CA You can reach out to Kiley anytime!!  RTZ.hope.org