Hello, you like to do the podcast? Oh, I'll end it. Let's do it. Open over.
Fucking straight straight in. Nick is down straight in. Oh. Hands down.
Nick is down straight in the pipe. The pipe stop being like, stop being like, stop being straight up the pipe. Nick is down at the pipe. Stop being some say that.
She'll with moral responsibility to bring me in when I'm off on a mouth tangent. A mouth tangent's all right. You ever do these days? Yeah.
Getting old in it. Do you know what? I heard the other day. There's two types of intelligence.
Yeah. And as you grow older, one type turns into the other. Oh, that's depressing. Where do you eat this, first of all?
Name your sources. Several sources. Good. Just what we'll do.
Rick Bioto. He's a music YouTuber. Fine. Just wanted to be a good context.
But then I did hear it independently mentioned on another YouTube channel. Fine. And I think it's quite accepted. You have liquid.
Liquid intelligence. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I had a cheesy pizza last night. Oh, yeah. Like liquid intelligence.
Go around. No. No. Bold pepper justice.
Anyway, soft brown clay. You have liquid intelligence, which is the kind of intelligence, which means you can adapt to a new situation, a novel. It's improvisatory. OK, I would say I have quite liquid intelligence in that respect, because I'm quite good at that.
Honestly, seriously, when I work at EBC, I have to do like hell of shit all the time. OK. I know the persona I have on the podcast is costafuckgallon. But actually, I wasn't trying to do this.
You're going through something in the moment where you are noticing how people criticize you for something. And I have made that persona that people think is a real version of who I am. Also, if you're going to talk about a persona that we project onto the podcast, and we're different in real life, let me just say two words to you. Jimmy Savile.
That's what that sounds like. That sounds like Jimmy Savile. I was me saying I'm adaptable to work situations on the flying game provides in any way similar to Peter Filand noted hated comes. Jimmy Savile.
Not that. It's when you say we're a different person here, then we are. You know, that we put have a persona. Not that the individual industry is based on that.
We're not in the stand up industry. We were. And the podcast is still a version of us, like if in real life we were like, we would be lynched. What you're saying is you're not a dirty-mouthed little idiot.
Like you could project. No, that's not what I am. That's you. That's your version.
Oh, that's me. I am the high maintenance, stressy, cluster for cock up guy who people can throw the finger at and say, you fuck that. Yeah, I said throw the finger at. And I don't give a fuck.
Classic, my liquid intelligence. You brought you when you produced magic. Like a little massage gnome giving you a liquid intelligence. That's not the intelligence.
It's the opposite. It's humor. So I've got liquid humor. Throw the finger.
That is classic. That is a classic. It's a classic. It's a classic.
I'll throw the finger at you. That's like an egg corn, isn't it? Almost. It's like throw the book at you and point your finger at it.
Yeah. Actually, I'm going to stand by it. I throw the finger at you. No, that's what I'm saying.
It works. But it is funny because it's not any way liquid intelligence and what's the altar? Crystal line, crystal line. Crystal line, crystal line.
That's what you're bedded in and you are moving on. And it's due with knowledge and experience that older people have. So you have a wide range of experiences and knowledge about things that means you're able to be intelligent about things. You've got to have a less of a liquid flexibility to sort of and say you're more crystalline.
We've got to follow you right now. I'm not saying you can't. I'm not saying that's not out of bounds for you. I'm just saying you are more crystalline.
You're more crystalline, I think. You're more crystalline, I think. And I'm more liquid. I think that's valid to say without any saying.
I don't know if that's true. What does it mean? You start as liquid and move to the crystal. Or you start with any other.
He was trying to say all of the greatest musicians are in their 20s. All of the best work by the greatest musicians. That's my ultimate. He was made in their 20s.
And if you're allowed to call the comedy albums. It's absolutely solid. It's hard to argue with it. In terms of like, I mean obviously there are outliers and also Peter Cook, for example, could be potentially because they peaked too early and then found himself aimless in the latter half of his career.
Yeah. Comedy definitely seems to apply but also he said that people like classical composers. That's a crystalline in that case. If you're writing a symphony.
Unless you're Amadeus. It's crystal. I have a symphonies and you know what an orchestra do and it's like a much more sort of controls. With all that being said, how does that get us into a rude phrase or naughty saying that we can get into the credits with?
I don't know, Paul, because in that case welcome to Cheap Show Time. Oh, that's really nice. That's all we've got. Bye everyone.
See you after the credits. Cheap Show Time. Hello, it's Cheap Show Time. It's all that time for another slice of Cheap Show Time.
I love it when my panties go right up. The crackle and this is the day for Cheap Show. Oh, what a cheap show time. I've got over, I don't rock my crack.
Anyway, hello, what's the Cheap Show Time? It is the economy company podcast with Eli and I go for the bar, go into charity shops and powerlands at R with the UK in the audience. And bring you the treasure we find amongst the trash. There amongst the trash.
It's R, it's R, it's R. And yet what else do we find Eli? Frugal, find amongst the Frugal. Thank you very much.
And I'm in a Frugal state for your meat mate. And I'm on the Frugal. You're on the Frugal, Frugal horn. We can take the Frugal horn.
That's a Leurpak plug. Yeah, it is. The Leurpak plug was a very liquid. He was an effigold.
Yeah, he was a dwarf. Yeah. No, no liquid intelligence. Yeah.
You think when morph had sex, it's like the end of society. But he was going for it. Yeah, he was up with Chas has gots and then coming out of his neck. What was the Lady Morph call?
Oh god, I'm going to be accused of sex. Oh yeah, there was a Lady Morph. James. No, you're thinking of Roger and Freddie.
I have to know who the Lady Morph is. Anyway, you look that up and I'll set the basis of what we do this week on the podcast. Go on, I'll do that. I'll chat with Google with your weird inflection.
What is the biggest apple in the world? Whatever it is you do. Wait for it. Go on, here we go.
Who is the Lady Morph? If it understands that well played to it- Uh, Morph cosmetics, fuck me. Delilah, she was called Delilah,prom, I'm just talking about this on The Wikipedia States. Morph was a stop-motion bla bla bla bla bla.
Tony Harper bla bla bla bla bla bla bla. Characters. So we've got Morph, Chas. Okay, did you know there was a dog?
Yes. What's the dog's name? I want to say this. I will literally give you a 10 pound note in my pocket right now and you have 3 chances.
You don't have a 10 pound note. You're in this pocket or in the coat pocket? You've got a 10... Yeah.
So I'll give you that one if you get this. What could be the possible reason? I like you can... Shut up.
Let's eat with weed. Right, come on. That's what I mean. What's the name of the dog?
Can I have a clue? No. You said you knew what the dog was. Sponge.
No. I'm all out of guesses. The name was Nail Brush. Because it was an Nail Brush.
Wasn't it? Well done. Yeah. It was done for reading that off Wikipedia.
Anyway, there was a supporting character. It was called Grand Moff. It was the old one. It was the old one.
I only beaded Grand Moff. He was a big man. Wasn't it? Very strict.
He punished morph and chasmed him. He was coming up with a stick. I'm getting old. I'm getting old.
I'm getting Ben Cinkele. I'm getting Ben Cinkelettes. You do that for a bit. Oh, it's making me ask of me.
Oh, stop. I'm beating it. There was also a character called Delilah. A bossie with a female cat with a yellow dress and dark brown skin.
She had a good relationship with morph. Although, she gets in his way. There was Folly. Oh, yes, she was very Faffy.
Yeah, well, Folly was a scatterbrained girl made of Timfoil. Oh, yes. I do remember the Timval character. Almost nightmarish, that.
Gillespie, a blue friend of morph. He is clueless and silly but he's a piece of piece of it off the meditates that was gobbled you gook. Agreed on the Vohydos alien child. On Nivorous.
On Nivorous, what does that mean? Eat everything. Yeah. But what does that mean?
I mean, why do they say put that? Because the money will be all here, you're gold. Why would they put that? Because I must describe it.
Did he distinctly eat a meat and then eat a vech? He arrived on the table by sleeping next to Morf's box in the amazing adventures of Morf. But in the Morf files, he arrived by mistakenly being printed from a space-invaded style game. Then there was the paint pots, sent you little mini paint pots that would move around, and then looked so the lamp, who I think, as a court case, would pick Sartos out.
Anyway, that's the Morf discussion this week for Chief Show. See you next week, we'll be talking about the flumps. Right. On the show this week, though.
No, I say that, but you've got some housework to do about L.P. So we are getting ahead of ourselves for 2025, and we have a plan for episode 450. And that plan is we're going to release a Chief Show vinyl album made in association with Noiseline, who's done a few tracks before. It's going to be a correlation of all of those tracks we mixed and extended and added to.
And compilation with the word you're looking for. Thank you. And then a collection of little treats and other things we need to sort out first, and then some spoken wordy bits, and it will be a vinyl we released, and there'll be a tie-in podcast episode to go along with the vinyl. And there will be a free download of the LPS and make yourself...
You always say this, but you get ahead of it. It doesn't really matter at this point. Or I'm just adding. You jumped to the end.
And I want to take the long winding road to that. Just try to do that. Yeah, but you know what you're going to do. Try not to.
Try not to. Just be quite. Don't you do. Try to not help.
I do. I mean, I'm fucking dead. I mean, I'm fucking dead. I would argue you do.
But that's the plan. However, we don't know how many of these to make. Now, I reckon we can make 100, but we need to get an idea of... What's the way I'm looking for?
Yeah, thank you. So I think what I might do, somehow over the next couple of weeks, is create a perform online where people can go on. And we've got basically, we've got a significant idea of doing that for 450. So if you're interested, get into a little social media.
You can find us by going to our website, thecheaps.co.uk, going through there. But if you want us to do that, I mean, we've got to do it. We're going to do it. And it's going to have a scratch of sniff fold out pop up gate fold.
No, Jack, I mean, now you said it, people will be running. That'd be so cool. It'd be really expensive. Yeah, no, there's no way we could scratch a sniff.
Or what we could do just robogulbage on the album. No, I was talking about robogulbage on it. And then you could sniff that. No, I don't think we should do that.
That's not... Oh, is it Smeg? Is it like Smeg? No, no, but I'm thinking of an AIONA.
I'm thinking of talking about it, isn't it? Which is sort of a white dwarf thing, isn't it? Red Dwarf, for a start. I used to buy a white dwarf.
It was the Games Workshop magazine. Great. I know. And you always mentioned it whenever the word white dwarf or red dwarf or white or reds mentioned or hammer or war or action figure or paint.
Paul. I was discussing with my co-host on my radio show, The House Pickle Sound Show. You don't get embossed LP covers anymore. And there was this Quincy Jones one he had with this really beautiful embossed landscape inside his figure on the cover.
It was really lovely. And you just think that he never... On the cover, not on the circle in the middle of the vinyl, you mean? No, on the LP cover.
The gate fold. No, but you're right. It's a rare. They're in it.
I think we won't be doing that, though. I just think some that have pop up in them. Yeah. But I just don't think they actually have the industry.
The industry isn't in place, yeah. But that's what we're going to aim for, do for $450. Give us your feedback if you want us to get one or if you want one of these yourself. And I must mention the track played off that album was Quincy Jones's own sort of jazz funk version of the iron side thing.
That's the one that starts like that. But that's where he's breaking a piece of music. No, but his jazz one, honestly, she's really checking out. It's really lovely.
Well, we will have to check out our own time because right now we've got a cheap show to go on with. It's a show that has been structured around the bag. We were given, after the live show, at the Chiffley for podcast festival one month or so, whenever it was. And also structured around the bag of weed.
What bag of weed? The one that I've got, just to let you in my nozzle, I think that's just foamage. It's in there. It's fickle foamage around your eyes.
It's aerating the jossilate. Just saying that's ball bag foamage. I'll give you ball bag foam. Oh, no.
Fickle image. Oh, G.D. Fold me. Oh, no.
Don't throw the finger at me. Don't throw the finger at you. That's good. It's actually good phrase.
Yeah. Well, you're all liquid intelligence. Actually, you're right. That is kind of liquid intelligence, isn't it?
I know which. I know. It's so well. Every time I try to consider a fart, I pull out before the luver is ruined.
The liquid pressure builds up. I feel like a Tom's worth of trouble. Right. So, he's still in.
He's still in. He's telling down a weird way. Pull off like that. Uh, Paul.
She got cumbly. There's letters to it. Crounger. Crounger.
Yeah. Yeah. I just said it's been, it's structured around a bag we were given at the live show. Okay.
So we're going to open a diving. Let's drop our pants and get the bags out. Shit. Right.
Here we go. You peaked when you said throw the finger. You peek when you get too close to the microphone and talk. Oh my God.
Daddy. That's like that. Oh, who twanked? You twanked.
I did a big old twang. Right. So, uh, let's find out. I'm looking forward to it.
As you can see behind me, there is a stack of items all brown wrapped. I can't let that lie. I can't let that lie. It's a wrapped in brown paper.
It's easy enough to say. I did. And I said brown wrapped. That's not what it means.
Yes. You understood what you were trying to say. You've got a blockage and you're not the blockage is your own mind. You can't see through.
It doesn't matter. You know how I think your mind works. There's a wall of possible words coming towards your consciousness. Brown rats.
You always pick the wrong one. I don't care. I don't see a wall of words coming towards me. I'm literally in the words.
Do you know what I'm saying? Here we go. Here is the part of the show where Eli likes to go around saying he's the greatest human specimen known to man. Infallable and perfect.
Well, if that's true, why would we sit in a room that looks like a bin man out of shit? This looks pretty cool. It looks a bit haughty weird, but it looks pretty cool. Come on.
All it takes is a bit die re-entry scattered about. This could be a serial killer's abode. That's all I'm going to say. Right.
Letter. The original house pickles by the way, everyone. Yeah, we're in the OP. O-G-O-P.
I hope you're enjoying these episodes. They do have a certain manic intimacy because we are literally two feet away from each other. It's a very groin form. It's like a forming.
It's quite as groiny. Yeah. It's a groiny vibe. On groins are eye to eye.
You know what I mean? Come on. Ooh, this is fun. Well, luckily they have put their names on, which means they don't have to go, oh, fuck I forgot who sent this.
There's enough light there for you. Yes. Andy and Louise are wearing my glasses as well, which I'll tell Andy and Louise sent this. Or say sent this.
What came to the light show and left me with this bag. Thank you. We have many other bags to go through, by the way. We're going to collect them from Tom who took them all from us and looked after them.
Well, we will. Thank you because I was drinking one gin and tonic after another from kind, kind viewers of the show. Yes. Listeners, listening and financially supporters.
Right. So this is from Andy and Louise. Thank you so much. Let's have it.
Hi, Paul and Eli. We love cheap shows. I wanted to contribute something to the show. So here it goes.
All the objects were bought from Haven House Children's Hospital located in Chingford, Mount East London. All the objects cost no more than 10 pounds altogether and no individual object was more than three. Oh, we're playing Price of Shine. I guess so.
Did you not know this? I didn't really look. That bag's been on in the car. I was a giant.
Hope this gives you something to work with. Good luck and in Louise. So where is the prices? Andy and Louise.
Oh, you've got them there. Now who's going to look after them? Ned and Noodle. He's come up.
Then I can put his feet into a splay because of the wire inside. Because of the nasty wires. All right. Well, then we need to give Andy's prices of objects over to Ned Noodle.
There he is. There we go. The top of the crime book. You can't go wrong with Ned Noodle.
He's always there. You can go wrong. However, I don't know what any of these items are because they're all wrapped so they're all mystery. There's something more appealing to me these days than a group of objects wrapped in brown paper than if they were into a party or Christmas wrapping.
Yeah. Imagine like children going away during the Second World War. You know, they've got everything wrapped or Christmas during the war when everything's wrapped in brown paper. It has a vibe.
It has a vibe to me. It has a little British village kind of thing. I don't know. A rural post office or something.
Yes. Yes. Oh, yes. How are we going to do this?
They're not numbered or anything. No. So have you got a pen and paper? I do.
I do. In that case, before we go any further, let's take a quick break because I need to read and you need to find paper and pen. So we're going to start the price of a shite officially after this short sound effect. Right.
Eli has pen and paper themselves. I have a little notepad and I'll be taking down the scores. Now what did the letter say again? Ten items.
Wow. The letter said, you mean in terms of the price window? Yeah. None of them more than three pounds.
No, no, no. Each person likes them was less than three. Less than three. Or rather, no, it was no more than three.
I guess it's similar to less than three. Well, actually it has a little. I mean, if you said it was less than three pounds, does that make you under price it than if I said it's no more than three pounds? Interesting.
I think a lot of research has been done about this. It's like half full glass box. Well, it's all exploiting what people, the order that you put numbers in something. Yeah.
We pay more attention to the beginning of something that someone says rather than the end, which is why people put it in small print or they at the end of an advert, they'll say, you know, make or blindness or something, you know, write the end really quickly. But there is a similar thing. The whole thing with like, which people don't really fall for, I don't think these days, but you know, making something to 99.99. You think, what's a bargain that?
But it's not really. There was a time before they used to do that. And then there was a time, I think it was the 80s when suddenly everyone realized that you could put it in something for 99P and it, due to the change to decimal capital, whatever. You couldn't have done it before the change.
I knew what the alternative would have been in the predestination money thing. It sounds so complicated, doesn't it? And the amount of money back to that, fucking, that generation needs to die quick. Right.
Here's the first thing. I'm going to let you open it. Right. So, I'm going to put a P and an E column here, P-V-E, then I'm going to put item one.
Item one is this, I'm going to let Eli open this first item. This is, it feels like a bottle of something. It's especially in a splashy in the hand. Oh, yes.
No, she's not. Carbonated. I'm going to guess. It looks like it's an atomizer.
To me, this looks like what it might be. It's a bottle of cheap shampoo or baths, bubble stuff. I'm going to guess some kind of serum to spray in a fine mist upon one's face or hair area. Or one of those mystery spray down the toilet when you've had a big, stinky shit.
It's called the IPO or something. And it's like, I have a fucking book. I have a fucking book. I have a fucking book.
It's not going to be around the book. It works. It's going to be around the fucking hairy, stinky bush. It takes the fun out of the grunts.
I've moved on, makes from it. What is it? What is it? Pull it out.
Sorry, I'm going to put it out. I know. Oh, I like that. Just work that out of your sister, mate.
Then we can crack on. Stinky bush is so funny. Is it though? Was it just like you found it in music?
I don't know. I can't talk about that on anyone else, mate. Can I? No, Chris, the line of you.
What is it? Talking to the mics of the fucking ears. I'll read it then. Martin X.
Anti-Martin spray. Sorry, what? It is his anti-Martin spray. This is where my crystalline intelligence comes in because I know what Martin is.
It's a small mammal. Oh, so it's not like my friend Martin X sprayed this and I keep it away. It's spelled differently. Oh, it's like a marmot.
Yes. It's like a kind of a... Vole. Yeah.
So it's things you put in your pants and they will run around. What are those things? I can't find the word. You put in your pants.
Not a shrew. It used to be something that everyone talked about in the 80s and doesn't know. It's like the white dog poo of its time. What was it?
It's not a vole. Not a sroom. Not a vole. Not a vole.
You put in a snake-like rodent. Yeah. Whip it. Oh, that's a dog.
Whip it. What are they fucking called? Okay Google. Ask what the small rodents men use to put down their pants.
All rodents do men put down their pants. Right, it's doing it. According to Wikipedia, also known as gerbil stuffing or gerbil stuffing. That's not what we were looking for.
Oh my God. It's not what what we were looking for. Hang on. Hang on.
Let's do this again. Because I think we both talked over each other. I literally mean that came to my head was because I was going to take the surgery and what therapy did you go back and just slip in? Anyway, it's like a ferret ball.
It's a natural Martin repellent. Are they local to the UK? I think it's more on the continent. We're gonna have to smell it, aren't we?
It's gonna make the shrimp smell like piss. Let me have a look at the back. It's gonna make it smell like piss. It's like the elk piss where it's like that's someone else's territory so it stays away.
Yeah, you could be. We need to look. And to be fair, do you want this house to smell like Martin piss? I don't want this.
I might actually sort of take a few thousand off the price of the property. Oh listen. Oh, listen. Oh, listen.
Oh, listen. So I spray it on a tissue so it doesn't get into the air, yes? I've got a little bit of tissue in my pocket if you want to. Yeah, let's just use a bit of that.
It's clean. It's just all trickable. Yeah. Because on this podcast though we do like to have a laugh.
We don't like to do it in lieu of our health. I mean, it's to get them, kick them away from the home. So you think it's probably not that bad. You know what I mean?
Because I've got this cap spray, which you spray, it calms, it calms down. It doesn't really smell of anything but it smells like something crazy to the cat. Oh yeah, I'm getting neck now. It smells like it.
What is it? Is it pissing? It's not even worth me spraying it, but fine. It's very, if I take this off.
Ooh, it's very camp-free. No, don't, I was just jostling it. I thought you were spraying it. Oh, yeah, it smells like a jostling.
Cinnamon or, yeah. That's quite nice. Go up to the light. Oh, no, I'm a martin.
I can't hear you. Keep your hands off my burn martin. Yeah, so it's definitely just sort of like essential oils that they don't like or something, you know. Right, in that case, how much do you think that costs?
Knowing that can't be more than three pounds. Shall I have the first guess? Oh, it's really got a nice smell, actually. I know it's not too bad.
And if it keeps martins out, we win. I'm going to go ahead and guess that is £1.40. £1.40? That's just my guess for now.
And they said they got it from a hospital charity shop. Yes, you'll go through it again. Please, I'm just still reminding me how children's hospice located in Chingford, East London. It's a hospice.
They have a higher fund because they're more local than those hospice trees. I know you're supposed to have loads of martins out there. Anyway, what are you saying for the price? You know what?
I think you're in the right area. It's quite a new one to guess from you. I can't see it being three quid. Oh, by the way, obviously I'm not sooty all right, sealed and stuff and I'm not open the envelope.
They've been lovely wrapped with loving care by Andy and... There you go, may be a lot. How much, how much? How much?
It was Andy Lewis. How much? So, you've got to see Kristalline, intelligence, how much? How much?
Recall. I'm going to say $1.25, but there's a reason for that. That is the scoring system we use in this price of strikes. So, we've got very lax about explaining that.
Someone might have just gone, I want something cheap. Oh, yeah, we have something cheap. Oh, there's a podcast. Perhaps they'll tell me about something cheap.
They're here now. They don't know what's going on now, Paul. Hey, everyone, we guess prices. Fucking Martin repellent on my fingers.
Yeah, there's not the worst thing. It could be in Yackpist. It's like Clove. So, here's what we're going to do.
We get the prices and to get points for those prices, we actually call them for twins and to get those for twins, we have to be spot on. If we spot on, we get two for twins. If we're out on the price, either way, the correct answer, lower or higher by 25p, it's just the one between. However, we have the quid gambit, where once in the game, you can say that is a £1 item and that is also a double between if you get it correct.
Nice explanation, Paul, but I have to stop you and correct you. The quid gambit hasn't been mentioned by either Andy or the weeds in there. We can now play it because it's now part of the system. If there is a quid, which there might be, because if you remember all the weeds gambit has been set.
That's why you set the, that's why it's called the gambit. I'll be playing the quid gambit. I'll be playing the quid gambit. Quid gambit means what?
We get an extra between if it's two twins. If you say that's a quid gambit item and it's a quid gambit item. And you get four between two. So that's just the same as not getting it on the nose then.
It's funny in it. No, I think this should be an extra between. Add one, three. The queen's gambit gives you three.
See? Liquid intelligence. I'm a not the one. I'm learning.
I'm just getting a text message. No, sir. Crack on. Well, Martins.
They've canceled. All right. How's Martins have canceled? No, I'm fucking.
Just a quick place to be, is it? Come on, it's your turn. Oh, so this one's heavier. And just by feeling it, do you know what I want to say it is?
Like a little tiny item, like a kind of golf house item. Okay. A miniature item. That'd be an oven.
That'd be a big. I do like small things. Oh, it does look like a small. Oh, it does look like a small.
Oh, it does look like a small. Well done. I love it. It's metal.
It goes with that brass lights on the wall. It's open. Oh, the drawers come open. Oh, that's a lovely.
It's a cyborg. Like a dresser. It's an old style oven or something. Like an arger.
No, it's like we're talking like 1890s. It's similar to an arger. I'm not going to argue with you. Shut up.
Don't fist pump that. What would you draw? Your weed. Oh, look.