Winter dick. That's how it's starting. And what is Winter dick? Something I spotted Paul.
Tell me more about Winter dick. It's when your dick goes too small so you can't have it off. In the Winter? That's what I'm saying.
No, I've got a case of Winter dick. I've always got a case of Winter dick. I've got permafrost. Right across your cock head.
No, it's no, it's a real thing. My cock is the icy tundra of which no lady will venture near. I see an arbine in the snow, winky winky. Your ball bag looks like a Yeti's house.
Don't know what that means. No, it's bought in the moment and this is the important thing. I thought it was funny. Yeah, but you were wrong.
Well, you know what? That's the great thing about it. It's Winter dick. Why won't you address the issue?
What do you want me to do about it? Warm it up in the house. Is that something you've experienced when you've been trying to have it off? I've got summer long dick.
All day long. Nice warm hot dick. I've got summer aisle dick. No.
It has a little hood and it's like into focorro. And you put it in a wicked basket. Oh. Chicken in a basket.
Do this. Hi everyone. Hello everyone. It's the podcast, You All Adore.
Cheap show. And I'm Paul Ganon and that's Eli. And this is a cold open. This is a bit where we can't accept the scene, set the toe before the credits come in.
And then hey, take you on a trip to cheapo on the land. Spring Fanny. Yes. Well, but Autumn Fanny.
Autumn Fanny of my life. Spring bubble. What do you want to add to this? Tundra.
That's a good one. I think we should incorporate a terrible case of Tundra Clunge. Oh, you should go see Doctor. Oh, that reminds me.
Actually, that reminds me. All right, we're going to get into the credits. See you after this. Cheap show.
Hello, cheap show time. I'm Paul Ganon. Who's that? We don't know.
We'll never know. Shut up. Give me another take. He died.
I'm Paul Ganon and this. You're going to keep this in anyway. I know you will. For real name.
For fucking laughs, you're going to keep it in. Sorry, I had a g- a g- a little gurgle there. Sorry, everyone making this much worse now. You are actually, it's like this is the very, very living definition of the term digging a hole for yourself.
Living death. Finishing. You've been getting- You've been getting- No one knows who you are yet. I'm Eli Silverman.
Hello, I'm the co-host of Cheap Show. And what's cheap show about Paul? Well, it's the Economy Comedy Podcast where you line out for the bargain beans, power lands, thrift stores, jumble sales. Oh, short to place it's lots of cheap places to look for the treasure.
That could exist amongst that trash. It does. It's there. I'm not going to be doing food.
It could be anything you listen to, watch, lick. And today we're going to be doing a lot of licking. A lot of munching and licking and sniffing. It's huffing because we've been giving a load of snuffing.
We've been getting a lot of snorting cocaine. I'm not doing it. I just want to list SN words. Go on then.
Snort. Right. Snort. Snake.
End more. I'm sorry, Paul. I'm sorry. I want to see you completely out of your system so I can finish a sentence.
Do I even finish a sentence? I want to say I can finish a sentence. I'm sorry, mate. I'm very honest.
Also, snorbit is SN is it? No, that was his whole thing. He came on stage and he had a dog. Hey, Bernie, I think you've left your brother in the double act.
What's your next big thing for 1984? Dog. I'm going to have a dog. Sorry, Paul.
I've collected myself. Yeah. And I would like to ask you what we've got coming up on the show. Did you have something to do?
Sorry. I'll do it again. It's what I keep saying. We might be able to do this week's episode because I was looking for the cheap show contracts and you haven't had your medical in a few years.
So we're not allowed to do the podcast until you have your medical. So I've got a doctor in the cheap show, Doctor. Where are they? They're waiting.
He's in his little office. I was going to send you to him. Doctor hands-free. I could do another name.
Jesus, that's Jesus, Paul. What was that all about? His name is Doctor Mustafa. OK.
Mustafa. I'm just going for a checkup. Just go for a checkup. I'll wait here while you're doing that.
So go on. See you in a bit. Hello. Yes, come in, please.
Hello, Doctor Mustafa. Yes, please come in. Yes, hello, Doctor. Yes.
Yes. Yes, please sit down. I don't know what I'm here for. Paul just sent me up.
I don't even have a contract. That'd be a fucking thing to have a contract, wouldn't it? Without me. Yes, I have to go back and do the podcast.
I have to go back and do the podcast. Yes, all right. Paul just says no. He got 30 times.
Yeah, no worries, but good guy. It's fine. OK, now, let's cut to the chase though. Oh, I have a real dog.
I've got better things to do. No, you're don't. If I like you. No.
Doctor, you want to look up or put things up my arsehole. Don't you? That's where this is going. I'm just checking my list now and it says...
I can see the list. I can read upside down. It says put or look up arsehole. That's not a list.
That's one sentence. It says put things up arsehole. I can read that hand. You can call it read.
It says balls, bubble, bellon. That's an idiot. Where did you get your diploma? The floules and unsanst, the hospital, each and either.
I'm going back downstairs now. You're serious. I knew it. I knew it.
Show your bum hole. I just need to go behind that screen. Go behind that screen. I take off all your clothes.
One, two, three. Take them off. I want to need your lord for this one. I put it to you.
You didn't have a thing to do at the beginning of the show. You're not a doctor. You're a very rude man. Show your bubble.
It's dirty. It's dirty. It's dirty. It's dirty.
I'm back from my checkup. We can't do the podcast. Why? He just messaged me.
That's dirty. Well, bb, bb business. He didn't do his bubble. Last week's business.
We can't be the podcast. I mentioned this. You can't be the podcast. I tell that to you.
Please, please, please, your bubble. What the fuck? You don't want to see my bubble. You don't want to see.
I'm almost 50. I've eaten stuff. Yeah. Talking about stuff last week.
I took one big dead disused web. I took an email. Yeah. Yeah.
Go on. You can't get emails on your hand. Why travel Rob? Oh, yeah.
But it's not Rob, it's Rod. And that's what he's upset about. Are you doing character work now? Please, no, this is what the email says.
Right. On your hand. The email that you get in your palm. I've got one of those things.
What robot hands? No, those things are projected from a hidden thing. Yeah, I don't exist according to Captain Disillusion. And no, I couldn't exist.
Dear Eli. Right. Here we go. He's going with it.
Please refer to me by my real name. Rod. Why traveling Rod. Thank you.
All I will say is if you want to do that I need to see his bum old. Okay. I need to see all the people who appear on this show going forward. Fine with me.
I'll take a picture of my bum old and I'll put on a Polaroid and I'll put it on your door. A Polaroid you mean? A bubbleoid. Hi, I'm Rod Bumbleroid.
I think you'll find my Polaroid show's my hemorrhoid. I'm a rock and roller. It's Lord Bumbleroid. No, it doesn't matter for you anymore.
If I just say, you're Polaroid, you've got your Polaroid. Oh, your Adler. I forgot the word now. Polaroids have shown my Polaroid.
Yes. It's not good now, is it? I was trying to take the Polaroid of your hemorrhoid. Right, anyway, this week's a talk.
Practice off, guys. Practice off, guys. Hello, welcome to the Chief Show, where we got a food-based episode this week, because Polaroid, after our live show in October, we got given a load of goodies. And so, finally, I have to get them back off, Tom, from channel 8.4.
Thank you, Tom, for your support. I remember handing them over. I'm saying we're walking, it was like a 15 minute walk to the car. Two loaded down, they were, with heftage.
Heftage bags. Bags and bags of heft. I was already two sheets to the wind by then. You were two sheets.
What a lovely afternoon it was. It was. I was plied with double gin and tonics. Yes.
Lovely for you. Lovely for you. I had to go to work. Right, anyway.
So, let's get into it, because we've got one of those bags now to rumble through, and guess what? It's full of food and drinks. Food and drinking, who's? Spoiler warning for the end of the episode, it's going to get mucky.
So, bear with us where we get there. Until then, I just put a sound effect. I'll let you choose. I like to do that every now and then.
What sound effect would you like? We've got what we working with. We've got bin lids clattering, we've got cash still going to Ching, we've got pans that go, shaking cash, cash in a pocket, spinning a coin, a fruit machine, the caffy-shin. You want to put that one in now?
I mean, you probably won't. You'll probably won't. You'll do it to spite me. No, we've listened to the episode, and I know you'll never do so.
Like, two lists, and I haven't listened to last week, so I was catching up on digitised as level two. Which is out. I think that will be out by now. By the time this comes up.
It's you appearing, and apparently I'm in it. You're in it a little bit, too. It's fun times. Anyway, because I'm a good friend, I'm a good friend.
I'm a good will for this year. I'll give you the sound effect you want right now. Behold, a paper letter in my hand with scribbles upon. That's look like words.
And just to be clear, this came with a whole bunch of stuff from someone at the live show. It did. We're not going to find out who that was, but we're not going to get through all the stuff, because we've pulled some things out. Pilford, some things for maybe a cheap shots video or a cheap show episode.
So it's not the whole garbage. Can we pause one second there, just to say thank you to everyone who donates and sends us stuff, because wow. Yes, if you want to send anything to the PO Box, there is the address in the description on this episode on the podcast app of your choice. Sources, Noodles.
And this one comes from... Oh, it's called Things All the Best, Michael from Vienna. Hello Michael. I remember him handing me.
Calling Vienna. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Wasn't that a fug? Wow.
Vienna, Colin. I bet that confused with Vienna. Oh, Vienna. Oh, Vienna.
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Probably what I should have done. That's a deep cut. I've heard that in years.
Vienna, Colin. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I don't know if that's how it goes to be fair. No, that's what Feigle does.
Yeah, it's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. It goes to the bottom of the house. Oh, oh, oh, oh. It wouldn't surprise me when it went, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
In both chains. He likes, oh, oh, oh. I like it when he does it. Right.
Let's get into this. Oh, Vienna. Oh, Vienna. No, what's that?
No, the one you're selling the Valcobie site. Vienna, Colin. I've got it on what I was sending somewhere down there. BANG.
I've got that literal seven inch down there somewhere. Anyway, Michael, from Vienna. Oh, oh, oh, oh. The Eli and Paul.
After being a fan and listener for many years, I'm too bad to see you live. So obviously Michael came to the live show. I hope we were on our best behavior when we shook hands. He had to run off.
One of the first people who approached me afterwards, I believe. Oh, in that case, I apologize if we didn't get depressed. Probably to go back to Vienna. I went back.
I went back and found the episode, some stuff I sent in was featured on episode 169 and decided to send you more sweet treats from Austria. Hello. First, you get the rest of the flavours of the manna wafers. That's the thing that comes in the tin.
I love the tin. We're going to be this out first and then we're going to die there. That's right. Yeah.
It's just so that people can realise I've actually got paper in my hand. We got paper in his hand. It's what he's saying. He's saying, I'm still a fan of the classic something once, but I was pleasantly surprised by the coconut ones and lemon being my least favourite.
I like the lemon. I didn't know the water. Oh, that's nice on the wafer because that bite goes with the crispy white lightness. But poor.
Yeah. When he says I was surprised by what did he say? What was the first flavour he mentioned? I couldn't read the word.
No, coconut one. Coconut, fuck off. Get out of here. What's the word coconut?
I don't like coconut flavour. Yeah, that's an objective point. It's putting my point of view in. Oh, it's not wanted.
I'd love to get your opinion on them. We'll be providing that, Michael. Don't you worry. He sent some crisps.
They are some flue-gul-wackul-gul. They're garlic. Yeah, they're so. I took the liberty, Paul.
Yeah. Of on that day or the next week opening and they are fucking great. Spoiler warning, those garlic crisps that you've gathered up the remaining pack. Yeah, so the bag had burst a little bit in the box.
Oh, you hadn't actually done that. No, no, no, no. I literally just popped in some crisps and that's why I see what it would say. They should be.
They should be OK then. But let me tell you, one of my favourite crisps, and I don't say this lightly. I don't, you know, one of my favourite crisps at all time. They are garlic-y.
Oh, these are the garlic ones. Sorry, that's what it says I couldn't read it, but fine, fair enough. There is also some strudel doodle-er, which is Austrian soda. We're going to get to that in a bit.
We've got some soda. It's not called strudel-doodle-limp, or you're a fensive con. What's it called? Sort of like a phone.
I'm turning it off. All eyes on gallon. All eyes on gallon. All eyes on gallon.
Oh, the drink. I'll medule-lex. Now, what do you have? You think?
I'm a doo-le. I'm a doo-le. I'm a doo-le. I'm a doo-le.
I'm a doo-le. I'm a doo-le. I'm a doo-le. But we're going to be Austrians now.
How long before the shorts and egg are in pressure? He's Austrian. L-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l. Thank you.
I'm a doo-le. Well, I'll roll. Just like that. You know, all in.
Yeah. So this is some kind of soda. Yes. Does he say anything in the letter, Paul?
With a lot of nostalgia, they really kind it up with a logo. From what I understand, they are not so unsupport. I don't know. Sorry, they'll hand-writing is a little bit faded and I have poor sight.
This is embarrassing. But also, he's got... But look, he's referring to there. If you look at the label, they are very traditionally sort of Austrian-looking, sort of, with the trousers and things and hats and things.
There's two tins. This is what I'm interested in. The actual minutiae of this, Paul. Because you're the one that's Marta and Garana, both of which are basically coffee analogs in terms of their two other things.
Marta is a type of tea that he drinks in South America, which has caffeine. And Garana is a type of root, which also has caffeine. It's a form of caffeine. What he says here is that what you're talking about just then.
No, the other one. The Marta and Garana. Yeah. He says that is, that is fine, the sentence.
He drinks more than he should. It has a similar level of caffeine to coffee and Red Bull, but doesn't taste like every drink to me. Okay, well, we'll be tasting that. Oh, sorry.
He doesn't take any drink to me. All right, fair enough. Listen, you drink more than you should, Michael. But let me tell you, let me let you in to a little secret now.
What am I fucking chugging as we speak? The old boots. The old boots. So ding dong.
The sporty. Then we've got some sweets. We've got the sport gummy gummies, which are also very nostalgic. Sport is always associated with bad things are bad for you, like, rich of sport.
That chocolate. Yeah. It's weird. And on made by the company who also made PPE.
I don't know what that is, but I'm presuming it's maybe another candy that has a reasonably funny name because of the translation issues. Do you remember we tried that sport cola that was Swedish? Yes. That was lovely.
So yeah, so you've got those and Eli's specifically I got some hot sauces. They're the things we take out for later episodes. Free crafty looking hot sauces. We will be tasting those.
They look very nice. Thank you very much. next time on a video or another episode. I dropped in some other sweets as well, because then I'll stick the weeners ochre, they're basically fruit sweets, and the draggy kelth key or kelcy are also added the hard not to eat a bag once they're open.
Yeah, I don't know what that would fuck a Golden Birds of Haribo. Yeah, we could be still this. I ain't gonna eat that shit. You know what happened with that with me, with those Maynards Halloween ones.
Yeah. The Wine Guns were there. Yeah, the beat was just one. Fuck me.
I thought, fucking great. I hope you enjoy what I send in and find one or two of the things that you like. Thanks for the laughter, lifting the spirits when I'm down. Sorry, I finally wrote that down, read that out.
Sorry that I barely both did both of those things. Are you Michael? Is that what you're revealing there? Yeah.
Hey, Michael, let's go. Is that what I've said to Canyon Street? Right, so with all that being said, let's get into it. What do you want to start with?
I think we should start with whatever. Oh, I got that E-I pick. Well, the stuff isn't here. Behind me.
We got the wafers. I think it's a go for the Christmas at the end, because they really will change everything else you eat after. That's not the wafer guy. It's like intense raw garlic flavour.
Waiter, please ring in the first sack. OK. I'm gonna do a character. I'll do it.
I can't stop this. I can't stop this. It's only a bum one in my arm. That's my thing.
My thing is Bobo. I bring a fool, you show me a bum. Oh, is dickies out, everybody? Can I get a full dessert?
No, it's like you'll have winter dig, my friends. I don't need to stop us. I have a little bunch of burners. It's so much longer.
So much longer. So much longer. I've just left it off. Right, we're diving in with the wafers.
And what does it make? Mama. Is that what they're called? Mama.
Original Neapolitan. I don't think they're mama. So, hoco-browy. But the epoxy, like, I think of immediately the ice cream.
No, I think of the pasta sauce. This is where we differ. Neapolitan. That's pasta sauce.
Pastas sauce. And Napoli. What does it make? Neapolitan.
Oh, what's the ice cream? Neapolitan is the ice cream. Yeah, it's all these wafers. Yeah, we'll get these in the UK.
And then lovingly. There's also a tin that has a few of them in as well. This is one of the lemon one and coconut. Yes.
So, we should do the lemonade and coconut, not lemonade. Coconut lemon. That's safe. I don't want any original because we've got them.
We've got them. We'll just do the other one. I'm like, half of them. They're not eating them.
This is a chocolate one. Oh, look at that. He loves it. Let's do these three.
You don't want to do the original Neapolitan. Nah, fuck it, be asked. Oh, how's that? You don't want to do that?
No, because I think we've got three here. Okay. And we can maybe do that in a cheap shot. Nothing goes to waste in the butcher shop that is cheap show.
Fine. And you like the tin, don't you? And you've been making it very heavy suggestions that you would like this tin. I want that tin.
What's it worth? A bum old shot. Thank you. I want to see your dirty cobweb.
Oh, come on. The cobweb. I don't know why you're going with this. This is like one of the most tired concepts.
Show me your teddy bears eye. Surely with several law cycles pass you actually wanting to get it on with me. I think to be fair, at 400 or so episodes on I can do it. Fuck I like now.
Show me your bum old. You can. I mean, you can do anything fucking one of your bum old. I can have the tin.
Jesus. You know you're going to get the tin. You know you're going to get the tin. You know I really want to see a bum old.
You refuse to play along. Fuck off. I went to an imaginary doctor's office. It was a lunatic in there.
Don't you speak to them. I'm going to say, go on there. Go on there. Go off.
Go off. There we go. I got a magazine. The tin is dinky and it has an oldie schooly Victorian era looks like early 1900s.
Yeah. Sort of advertising artwork of a little girl who's holding one of these mama wafer bars and there's a cheeky little boy who's like he's been down the mines or something because he's got a jacket and a cap on. Yeah. And he's looking at me.
I will have that wafer off you. She's like no, you're not having it until I see your bum old. Right. It's a universal scene played out across time and mediums.
I want to start with the coconut one because it's the only favorite. Yeah. Oh, there's a little arrow here which sells. I mean, this is a big cliche I'm about to spew.
Yeah. Poor but I do like a dark chocolate bounty which is a bar that doesn't actually exist anymore. Really? Yeah.
Yeah. I can't get bounties. I didn't know that. Bounty was discontinued.
I didn't know this. No one's the last time you saw a bounty. Well, like you get a hero. I got them in a box of heroes or whatever.
Yeah. That's the only place they exist. Really? It's a bit like.
Yeah. It's a bit like the cheese moments which is still on the backboard for their... That's never coming back. That's never coming back.
But I'm just saying it's a bit like that in that there are these things that exist in the mixed packs such as heroes nowadays. I would say. I don't know. That's true by the way.
I'm probably going to get proven wrong by someone quickly. I don't see you as a bounty around. I honestly haven't looked at it and now that you brought it up, but I'm going to keep an eye out in the future. Anyway, I'm pretty sure they haven't banned normal bounties.
Well, this is a drive-up. It's a nice, moist year. I'm going to get in. What's a smell?
It's coconut biscuits. You know what? Don't eat with your mouth full. I didn't hate that as much as I thought I would.
Nice sweetness up front but not cloying. And not like a thick, heavy, ends wave. It's kind of all light and very light. I'm not sure I love that coconut flavour.
Fine. I think it reminds me of those biscuits. It's coconut biscuits with the icing sugar on the top. They have a particular name.
Absolutely. The coconut ones. I want to say Garibaldi, but it's not Garibaldi. No, Garibaldi is squash fly biscuits.
Squashed fly biscuits? Yeah. You mean swashed fly? Squashed fly biscuits.
You never heard of them. No, Garibaldi's. You mean like the squash flies are raisin. It's not a real fly.
No, Paul. This is a real fly. Why am I asking the fucking question? This is true.
Because you just went out and squashed fly. I don't know what that means. You don't know what that means when you say squashed fly. You don't know what that means when you say squashed fly.
I'm getting angry at you, you're getting angry at me for not knowing what that meant. Can I just be clear? I'm not getting angry with you. I am.
No. Right, here I see. Do you know what a Garibaldi is? No.
That was the whole point of this challenge. You want to get to the end and know what it is then? Prunes. It's a raisin biscuit.
You're right. Horrible. You're not into that. No.
I like a raisin biscuit. I'm not fun. This is a little chocolate brownie one. This is going to be nice.
Chocolate brownie flavour. Not much smell. It's got a cocoa-y taste, doesn't it? It has a brownie flavour to it.
It's hard to describe it. I've got a dense, rich, chocolatey brownie flavour. It's got a bitterness, but it's a nicely balanced bitterness. You know, that real chocolate.
Yeah. And on the illustration of the cover, it shows a cocoa bean. So I guess they have to live up to that. It's a cocoa.
It's chocolatey. This is my favourite so far. That's really is chocolatey. It's what I'm saying.
Can you imagine that? It's an ice cream. Oh. It's a vanilla ice cream.
Dirty bastard. Yeah. That's so good. I've been eating peaches and yogurt.
Lucky you. It's a lemon one. I'm going to be very dubious of this. I'm very dubious.
Oh, I love it. Oh, no. I just don't like leaven-curdie things. Oh, that's good.
Oh, with some lemon sorbet and shortbread. I'll say this for it. It's nowhere near as leaven as I thought. It's actually got more like a cake icing sugar kind of flavour.
Yeah. You're like lemon drizzle flavour. Yeah, yeah. It's so nice.
It's cake and lemon cake flavour. You're right. Still not like a particular one. It's fine.
You were surprised by that lemon in a similar way that I was surprised by how much I liked the coconut one. And we both met in the middle for the chocolate. Which is the best. Which is the best so.
Yeah, but generally, can I just say? Rankum. Yum. I don't.
There wasn't that sort of dry powdery, you know, that sort of cardboardy. That fake, fake cheap ingredients overly sweet. That is like everything's in perfect balance with the crispness and the... That's great.
It's the balance that makes it because you could overwhelm the flavour on either of these and ruin it. And actually, no, it kind of works out fine. I do want to say... Brownie one best for me, then coconut then lemon.
The chocolate one was the best. Yes. And then you would go lemon and coconut. I would.