When you're ready give us a lovely intro to cheap show. Oh, what a lovely lovely day it is. Here we are Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's the house of pickles. My name's Eli Silverman.
Here's your lovely co-host for what he's going to be absolutely Spendiferous cheap show Keep my shit together. I was way too loud. Hello, you lovely lovely people. What a lovely day it is.
It's very sunny It's quite humid. Why are you talking like you're doing fucking Benjamin Brabitz? You're talking to make it lovely. Yeah, but maybe jolly.
Maybe go for hello boys and girls. Okay. I want you know spunk. Okay.
Give me spunk Hello everybody. It's a lovely day here in the house of pickles. I'm Eli Silverman You're going to have a brilliant brilliant lovely cheap show episode coming up right now. Here's your come up some say is lovely It's Paul Ganon.
Hello boys and girls and ladies and gentlemen everywhere. Welcome to the loveliest podcast in the whole world Why it's your favorite pod and mine. It's cheap show Hello, how what a lovely day you're freaking me out. It's isn't it lovely day though today?
It is lovely day Yeah, what are we doing? We're in the house of pickles recording an episode of cheap show house of pickles aka Eli's sweating meat locker. Oh God mate. Yeah, I cleaned it give it a clean up and we're ready to go It's like a professional radio studio here.
You're clean up. It's like washing away some sick with another type of sick No, well, it's good sick. Oh, it's good brand brand sick removing sick. Yeah.
Yeah sick be gone sick be gone Sicko it's like pouring white wine on red wine to get rid of a stain. Yeah, is that a trick white wine on red wine? It's all crap is it yeah, you put salt on red wine. No, yeah, because it was slugs you put salt on slugs and on red wine Well, that's just confusing you also put it on food.
It's fun. Yeah things not fucking slugs. That'd be facetious Oh, well the humans really got off to a gallery start. We're on fire mate.
Okay. I'm gonna fire you're on fire Let's keep the fire burning this this house is on fire. This house of pickles It's sitting in this room is like I don't know like a sci-fi novel and I've been swallowed by a beast And I mean it's belly and I think that's bad But then I know there are creatures living in this beast belly that will also hunt me for sports and feast upon me Wow because they've been down there for years like me and you can't you can only just hear them in the distance rumbling around and every now and then I can hear it's digestion Sound and that's what it's like being in the house of pickles bedroom. It is like very much like being in the soullack pit.
Thank you All right, Bob. I didn't okay the soullack pit is the digestive. Yeah, Sanjin Bob effect is the shittest star wars character in the world Oh, yeah, it is so loved So what did he do what did he do? It turned up look cool and then missed didn't he did he fail to shoot someone?
And I shot or something fell off the back of a Into the belly of a monster. I don't think I think what it is is he the fans just loved him, didn't they? They elevated. Yeah, and then he led to Django Fett no the attack of the clones.
Yeah, because that's all about his backstory That's what me Django Fett is Bob with that father who looks exactly the same and Bob against the sea over one I'm making army of bromates. It's like I cannot actually bring my eyes to watch this film. It's so boring. It's painful It's the most boring thing.
It's like literally you could be on meth and vitamin call asleep Let's try that out on the next cheap show. Oh, yeah, no, let's just do some math attack of the meth Let's just fuck it. I was just fucking so Dar Wars Well, let's see that Robert's a dog. Yeah, I don't know I'm in there you're getting all better there.
So look what we got coming up the show for well We've got lots of other things going on this is a bit ad hoc this one because we've got another episode This one's a bit I know a bit more than usual to your fucking face motherfucker, right? Well, a misinformed approach in prop comedy to guys who let's be honest. We're not that good. I'll speak to you I was theoretically speaking more about you.
Oh, you're saying I'm shitted it. Yes. You are not great at improv fucking hell No, I mean, I'm not saying I'm brilliant. I'm saying I'm better than you you're not and that's barely oh come on Right, we can have an improv off go on.
It be with it. Give me a scenario submarine No, I'm doing the sound effects already. You're blocking me like a prick. I didn't know you're gonna be in this I said I did just start doing the sound effects of course I'm gonna be in it.
I'm doing a sound scene. Yes. So why can't stop okay? Do captain.
Yes. We've got a problem. What is the problem? There seems to be some kind of giant scre I was going along with that.
Go on giant squared giant squared attacking the hull right what weapons do we have left after our battle with the Russians? Well, let's see we have rifles Well Stocked on those to be honest should have gotten earlier torpedo. Yeah. Yeah, they would do for one as well They're just sexy looking with flamethrow.
Yeah, I love love alien. Yeah, I thought I was gonna go aliens down here It wasn't I was all like a giant fucking squid attacking them. Well, what can we do then? It's getting closer Oh No, mr.
Silverman. No, it's a big one right. Let's crack on with the show. Okay So this is a new part of the show.
I like to call big on the piece pipe pow wow friendship time You could sort of rethink that why because it's slightly of what I had to put this is totally racist It's not that racist it is you're kind of mocking the way that the native american people didn't used to speak Oh, I just thought what we do is we have an exchange of of gifts today. So I give you something I found or what it's possible Me giving you this we call it that well that sounds like Chinese right now I was taking the piss out of your backward. I just think you didn't need to pull your eyes back when you're done impression I'm not yes. He did like to jump and he pulled his eyes back and yeah, no just don't go there Yeah, this is just all right.
I probably feel back. So let's thank him another nice. It's pretty racist line up Me Casa su casa. Yeah, me Casa su casa.
Me Casa all su casa. Yeah, whatever the Italians can take it so We're the theme tune for it. Let's see. No, let's not have that Okay, fine.
That's okay. Yeah. Yeah, so do it just one more time cleanly Just cleanly what's it's going to be Casa su casa me Have a little gift for each other. Yes, we do something we found in a charity shop or I don't know on a bin or for free Or free and we thought he like that or Paul like that.
Yes, so you're gonna first or shall I? Give you my yeah me Casa me Casa right me Casa this week, Paul Is uh garbage Bell Kids. Oh It's good one that I got it in America from Emma my sister-in-law No, she just picks up random crap. You know, I fucking love garbage Bell Kids.
I was such a huge fan of it in the 80s I still got a big stack in at home and it's in of garbage rockets It was a huge thing wasn't it when it first came out? Yeah, because it's like tops were always known as far as I remember for like doing trading cards that are slightly bad taste like Mars attacks dinosaur attacks were both very graphically good. They came after those no well before well before but they had Mars attacks before the film Yeah, like 50 60s tops are making those back in it. Ah, so it's their tick of Tim Burton's Mars attacks was sort of based on that to a certain extent Oh, yeah, that film is based on the tops card I did not know that.
No, anyway, there you go. You've learned something so the what happened is yeah tops did a bunch of very graphically goings Every picture card was like dinosaur attacks scout group and like there's all these girls got bean eaten and then I think I've seen those Yeah, and then Mars actually very similar like aliens like the ones from low people's heads are firming hippies all this kind of stuff So garbage kids was basically naturally what tops were reacting against when they were when the cabbage patch kids came out Which was all cutesy booty cuz 80s loved gross stuff like there was garbage hell kids. There was bogglins there was slimy stuff Mad balls, it was like pots of slime. Do you remember the pots of slime?
Potts was great toy line that was awful amongst us in goonies and all that kind of yes So, you know kids in the 80s like horrible things now is this an actual new line because it says here 2014 series one So these new I don't know I think they're either one of two things. I'll find out we've a brand new Line of they stopped in the late in the very early 90s I think and then those research popularity in the 2000s I believe the artist I'm gonna get this wrong now the artist who created you know Adam bomb the guy's not cover that he was the guy who drew Mouse you're the graphic novel not Spiegelman. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that Tim Yeah, I think you're right. I think I may have heard that before it's involved in the early stage I designed something early cartoon so everything was basically modeled on his design in case I was under any misabrention or you Whether these might be worse on in the future.
Mm-hmm says here on the side tops does not in any manner Make any representations as to whether its products will attain any future value. That's a very strange thing What about it? They must have had some lawsuits up the arse before they would a crew, you know, it was a collectors Oh, you know someone probably put the whole set of someone yeah like several thousand dollars or whatever No, you know something like that, but they would never have it made representations No, well some I guess some companies put stuff out and they say collect design beanie babies I was gonna mention that that everyone thought it was gonna be the hugest thing and then literally bottom clearly Yes, they kind of represented them as that they kind of manufactured and marketed them as Future when you do that then people see no value in it because they know cynically it's being made for perhaps They're trying to make these more collectible by saying look do I go and be collectible? You know it might be if these are what I think they could be I don't know if they are but these are Issues of the original line so all the issues then they're really just basically like buying a second pressing of Sergeant Pepper.
It's like yeah came out in 1970 or not worth much right exactly bring it out again Sergeant Pepper six albums with all kinds of crazy shit on make they can just it's a license to print money all of this done Catching you know the lead Zeppelin guy Jimmy Page. Yeah did all the albums again really on vinyl no they're like 95 quid Yeah, of course they fucking do it right anyway. Let's get on to the garbage. I'll have a second I copy the plays good.
Yeah, I'm asking back in fine. Yeah, I'm not fucking that this Opening it carefully does it across the top. Yeah again If you're listening to the podcast you go to our website to show up UK and there's a page online for this episode You can see all the pictures and maybe video clips that associated with this particular show. It's your gift also Let me have a little look so here we go.
I've got these carefully gratefully snip the earth up off It's up there so I'm gonna force these cards out and so far I'm sorry to back and indeed I'm on she think the cards from she's those cards slowly Fingerships. Oh, it's a bit stuck. Oh, it's come. I've come it's come off.
It's come off right. So here we go on the back Oh four cards in my hand. I'm gonna back to them right now one is winter all in picks So it's just like a little certificate with Adam bomb doing the bombs like okay, and I'll bomb bomb slave bombs like you're And then these are yeah, and then all the back of them just part of the big a paper together Yeah, let's have a look at the proper what we really want to see oh who's the first character three wise Monty? It's it looks like a baby with three heads if to the heads with tits.
Yeah, yeah Now is that one of the original ones do I honestly don't recognize that it looks like part of the original line But one thing's put me off these but I've noticed them already They're stickers you can peel these off. Yeah, but they've cut the sticker out so you can't just peel them off the back You're bored themselves. It's only the shape of the nature. Yeah.
Oh, it's actually only the shape of the actual character. Yeah That's no good. You want to peel the whole thing off put a next-size book You know like a tablet with the thing you want the writing? Yeah, that's terrible Anyway, how weird is it to have a baby covering it's a cos look at one's gonna be see no evil.
Yeah here No evil speak no evil, but like it's here no evil left it can't see no evil right it can't so evil Yeah, that's not the best kind of thing. It's not the best go. Let's move on to call number two, which is oh Okay, I missed completely miss read this jacket first. I thought it was a gag about Columbine I was gonna be really offensive, but it's not but It's a character called to radine and it's a lady to lady like like baby girl and she's just like the characters Laura Croft Yes, she's got no florid again.
It's not as good as I was saying is it? I thought the name was something like Colin Bine when I looked at it I thought it's like are they really done a comic trip of something I'm gonna shooting spree in a school I think he's on new and they're kind of tame very tame. Let's I hope I quite tame I've improved my card number three well, this is a little bit, you know, it's alright But it doesn't gross me out. He's called my mod flap.
I'm on flap. Oh, this bit more like it Yeah, go mad flap. Yeah, it's a mud flap. Yeah, it's a mud flap one and he's covered in dirt But it's very pooey and he's hanging off the back of a truck where a mud flap on a yeah, we'll be a truck He's a human mud flap mam would flap mam would flap so that's nice So far they have all sort of a really posy and like all sort of you know Boddly excess So you know they sometimes have second names these characters like it's like They always had one illustration, but then they'd have two separate names.
So they do two cards Yeah, so what do you think to radine second name is I would say Laura stuffed why is he stuffed? Oh, cuz I thought she's a stuffed toy, but she's not okay. Yeah, then Taurus off because she's only firing little stick as a womb raider. But that's deeply inappropriate for a child What's the last one?
No, I'm gone three wise Monty. What was the second name for three wise Monty baby three heads? God you fucking met me give it up right away. I'm okay Momma flat what's good what's good for that dirty flatty Wow Wow, yeah, I'm not great.
Oh last card. Oh You see so on the back it had the Olympics. Yeah special card to do with the Adam bomb Bombs late and on the front it is a he's on the back of a bobsleigh using his explosive head as proportion That's pretty cool. It's all right.
If I like what we've done as twist on the original kind of is a new season Isn't it's a series from 2014? These are new ones. Yeah, yeah, maybe to the Olympics the winter Olympics They came out around the same time as a date on the card it says 2014 That was the Olympic winter Olympics with that. Yeah, no, there you go.
So that's awesome. Thank you very much I want to get the book in as a little book that came up got with our kids and it's covered from the rapper on the front It's made of the same original rappers for a go with our kids and what it is details all the cards Yeah, every page is a different card from your original like to all three seasons. You can add that to your collection That's great mate. I got one for you.
Well, Sue Casa. Sue Casa is what I'm Sue Casa in you today. Okay We found this on a table abandoned in a McDonald's. Oh, you shouldn't have really and I didn't smurfs the lost village only in cinemas.
It's a happy meal surprising me all toy and taking the rapper off here and It is a little smurf house made in plastic. Yeah, and you've got the whole mushrooms. They live in mushrooms in there Yeah, they do and on mushrooms Because the thing is is that I saw part of this on the street the other day and I thought I didn't pick it up It's a lady bird. Yeah, the lady bird.
It's some kind of elaborate toy Because there's another plaque inside the house. Yeah, it's a sea through wall house with like a paper in layover thing Yeah over what of the house. Yeah, but that doesn't work. What's the raison d'etre to that though?
What why can you use it as a teacup? He's also inside on the other side, which is the inside You know straight on the inside of this so you can call that in you can kind of that in Yeah, but it's a bit smurf decoration the plastic that they've used for the actual bottom is so gnocchi Yeah, opaque slightly opaque and it's not it's not the best. It doesn't work. There's doesn't work.
It mystifies Yeah, it just makes it look like a it looks like a beaker or a cup that you drink out of something Anyway, moving on. There's another packet inside. It doesn't do anything. It doesn't have a gimmick.
No, that's what I mean It's fucking weird. You just keep your there's a lady bird on a mushroom on some bit of ground there Yeah, you see that doesn't just doesn't work as a toy for me No, it's just a painted on and also the whole way everything's pointing the same way. Yeah makes it just I'll read I never like directions shut up. It's hard to read.
You know, it's hard to read that as a lady But you think what is that is the mushroom part the face? Maybe this is not the late. No, it's not Okay, now this is better. This is giving me for having a fantasy.
This is better this other one. It's a little smurf And he's holding up a book just brain pointing at it. He's brainy smurf. He's got a specs on yeah, and he's teaching someone maybe he's teaching the lady bird Which direction needs to fucking go?
Yeah, it is. So go on feel a little scene now between Brainy smurf and the lady book. He likes it open presents the Smurfs. Hello I'm brainy smurf Look at this book lady bird.
You're quite horrific in terms of scale your comparison to me. You could eat my fucking head Oh, I'm pointing the wrong direction It makes my me look bigger because my eyes look like I'm not some kind of living mushroom Maybe not a lady bird you only notice when you look at the sides that I have legs and am a lady bird I'm a badly molded toy mr. clever smurf right that's it. I'm going back in the house Yeah Listen this week I know this is gonna be a nice section where we're not competing but this week me Casa fucking trumps your Casa I thought that had a gimmick to it though.
I thought like for instance it was like a lunchbox or a Maybe you can keep it in it, but maybe you can keep insects in it doesn't say anything No, there's no there's no literature to help me use this toy. No, that's very bad really very poor I tell you what the best line was for the grom McDonald's toys. It was those scooby-doo ones Was it just because you like the monkey wanky ball? I like the monkey wanky poor and also the one you kept which was the projector Oh, that's good.
It was a machine for a little headlight on the front which is on a ghost on a wall How much better is that? This piece of crap with smurfs, you know Keep it you sure it's you Casa. I know but I don't know if I have to get to pull I think it's throw in lunchbox or something I think you can maybe yeah put a bolt ball of crack in the bottom and then you know smoke like a bomb You can turn it into a smurf bomb you could if you wanted to smoke plastic along with your crack. Okay, which will I?
So Into a bomb house yeah, I'd prefer just have a bomb That was time for that part of the show we simply like to call cheap eats. What's the theme to you? Gonna Keep fucking eat that jingle. It's a USA episode today.
Why I've recently returned from a visit to my family in white Florida Why because that's how you give meaning to your life Paulie why visit family and why why you haven't what's meaning? What's meaning? Yeah, what's point of meaning? It beep, but I prefer when you're just making the noise of the cheap piece So I've recently returned from the state why So I got you can tell from the American lands because you've got family out there Yes, and you bought some cheap pretty easy to understand I would have thought the getting together and And Again, my lovely Sister-in-law.
Yeah, Emma. Hello Emma who is a fan of the show. Wow. She is always on the lookout for disgusting striped cheap food items for us to try excellent And she's done very well here.
Okay couple quite unusual items the first yes B-mar snacks brand B-mar fried pork skins. I like pork scratchings. It's actually like that. Oh, they just don't call it pork All them scratching so Americans don't get scratchings.
I mean I don't get scratchings Well, I don't want to be reminded about you know I'm like yeah, and like scratch. It's like all the scratch so hard a scratching came off Yeah, it's me images of some like scratching out like sorry scratching a scratching a pig. Oh, like all the scratch Yeah, like it like an old cougar. I just don't be reminded that it's skin.
Yeah, and scratching reminds me of the skin So you call it fried fried pork skins fine. I suppose the word skin is in that so yeah, so that's nasty pork crackles That's the other thing they call them I like crackles because it does crackle when you bake them or what else you do with them roast them crack Crack bacon what do you do with them? How do you make pork scratchings? I think they yeah?
Yeah, they pick I think they're bacon. I actually saw a program about how they make them. It's a pellets. Yes, very just go away I like to know before I put one in my mouth.
Basically they work they get a load of pellets. Yeah, I'll pig skin We're from from an avatar. Okay, so what do you like pellets though? They're pre-made as these sort of pellets so they take the skin off the pig and then yeah But they're not done at the factory that makes the no no Scratch bar all scrape all this coffee animal and no they're processed so they add and then they come to in a truck They come to the the the scratching factory here and then they get washed and then they get sort of I think they're fried in this big Tumbly thing yeah, and then they come out as the crispy You see when you ask me go to detail I didn't have any I just wanted to mention that seen a program and then people think I'm clever Be my snacks fried pork skins now here's the twist or this is something you won't come across before you'd be surprised I come across in my life That'll make me do it chili and lime strips.
Oh Very tart there's a different flavor profile I expect them to be salty and crunchy and you know meet esque these have chili and lime. Oh well now So I've noticed that part of the United States. I was in south Florida. Yeah, South Florida Yeah, my eyes yes has a lot of Latino people yeah, and I think chili and lime is a big sort of flavor Brand you won't or sort of something it's accepted in like salt and vinegar is here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah Chili and lime is big with those people okay, so it's like a traditional flavor on yes most snacks great So I think these are I went to this supermarket which has a lot of that kind of ethnic food in it called Western beef Yeah, it's great and let's just tuck in yeah, let's just tuck in oh Make you want to see me using his teeth to get into the pack here. We go. I mean like watching a cat eat a bit off of you These well what size oh got a smell. Oh, that's a curly one.
Oh, there's that very oh God. They don't smell good. No They I mean they look like they like their strips, so they're very thin thin strips They're on the way which size because the pork trachines in the UK tend to look like quavers don't like you know quavers yes They look like they look like waivers with some hair sticking out of the fat on the underside. Yeah, they're pork quavers They're not pork quavers corner now pork quavers.
Okay, so do you like here on a on a scratching course? I don't know why do you believe I'm on them? They don't try to try like with bits and no bits. It's like scratching with hair and no hair it makes it authentic I'm just trying to avoid as much as possible having to eat this eat it you have to eat it.
There's no fish No, there's no fish in it. Yeah, mr. Fucking kill by night and it's not baby food. No, it's not gonna make you wretch with its sliminess It's a it's a pork.
It smells of literally a scratching and well, gilly. It's got that slime tongue all right here. Go down it go So like that It's not heavy with the flavors of either no, it's just like a light the flavors quite light is it lightens the Pig dust that burst in your mouth once you've gone down it I like that how many pigs when that bag you think how many pigs goes into making that one bag It's probably the skins of I didn't want to get into this, but it's probably The skins have pressed several pigs in there because they mix them all up. No, no, oh It's an all-conful one pig they don't do it one pig at a time They should well that would be to I want to say on the front of the packet I said this bag was brought to you by porcupig and like each bag is named after the pig It's in it.
So like this pig is called Colin you wouldn't want that though, would you? Yeah, what a bit of character. I think they cost a lot more than the $1.99 that they should actually go into Yeah, that's not too bad. I actually yeah, I'm digging this a lot.
Perhaps I should have breakfast before we did the maybe We'll keep up with you like chilli and lime pigskin flakes. So yeah, yeah, as it goes What it is and it's not high quality product. It's not snack. You wouldn't buy yourself a packet of pork spatula I'm gonna correct you on something as well a long time ago I said dodgy abattoir meat and you went well, you know most Meat comes from abattoirs.
I said no, it was a dodgy abattoir meat not dodgy abattoir meat See what I'm saying and you brought me up on it But I feel compelled to step in now and correct you because I was talking about the Abattoir itself was dodgy and the meat there falls rotten whereas you were talking more about dodgy abattoir meat thinking I was saying all me that comes in abattoir was dodgy now are you willing on it now Admit yes, but you maybe you got a bit whatever whatever you like Paul, okay? I'm sorry, I've been bugging me for episodes. I listen back to us. I'm vain and this is all episodes And every time that comes up.
I go should have really corrected him. Okay, I'm correcting you now I stand corrected for that thing. I have no recollection or actual knowledge of but put on you listen back to this Like we're gonna rate we're looking for a score. That's what's gonna say.
I mean other one Actually really I have to say it works the slight citrus. Yeah, it just works as a little I thought of you overpowering or sickly you like to lie and can you sick? Yeah, it's not like a lot of reedos are horrible Yeah, because there's too much like this is like just a hint really yeah, and the truly I'm not getting any truly really get the kind of Sparkles of it on your tongue. I'm going to go.
All right, so there is really a little flex Love them, so I'm gonna say seven out ten. Okay, I'm gonna go for eight and a half. Wow. Okay, let's go I would eat those I would grab those and eat them.
Yeah, well you will be a snack par excellence on a day like this a nice cold Ail yes with a bag of those next to you. Perfect looking out upon a river a swan go by and those are And they say hello Eli and you say hello good day. I'm eating fried pigs rind. You're a monster Right, right.
We got a mama's to this mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Oh Well, so you got for us now.
So next item for yeah, this again is I believe a South American In fact it says latin God or might you know more pigs skins for you? Excuse me. Yeah, it says latin taste on it This is the brand a latin taste the sitos so so boy, which I think is about savory savory savory. Yeah latin taste cassava snacks Delicious and crunchy mm cheese snacks.
These are cassava cheese balls. What are kachar kachar? Just what is it? What is it?
It's not kachar but that's not what I said cassava. Okay. What's cassava? I think it's a type of plant that they make into flower.
Okay, and I think eat it in Africa as well as South America and they make it to bread. Oh It's a bar like a root. I think I need maybe snacks out of it. These look like cheesy almost like what's it colored cheese balls Yes, they have a what's it?
No, they have more the quaver thing if quavers are obsessed. I want them What quavers did a non cheese flavors I think they do I think they have dabbled in the past in a prawn and prawn cocktail. Maybe I think it was like beef or something Or something. It's an abomination.
We used to have like the internet, but we've tried to make the show kind of less internet based I think I'd rather go with our gut feelings on stuff. Yeah, I just need to remember them having a cherry cherry cola flavor quaver Maybe don't make shit up Excuse me kettle pop black calling racist. All right. These are the sitos cassava snacks doesn't actually say ball, but they are ball shaped Yeah, and should we go?
Opening now and I'm gonna give you the nose report. Okay, I'm doing the nose report. It's not good Paul I'm getting a very strong soured milk kind of old cheese left in the Sun. I'm like gnocchi.
They look a bit like gnocchi. Yes You're getting that sour cheese yourself. It's like it's like you've opened the fridge and you don't know where that smells from it's bad The veg is it the cheese or is it the cheese I'm going in going in? Person your mouth that one my god.
You have no opinion. Oh god his face is just and you I'd say not very nice They're weird hollow balls, and they've got kind of off milk slow Like cheese, you know what it tastes like like a cheddar that's gone hard. Oh, you know, yeah, all right Let's have a try All right, I love a wee one. It's not artificial.
They smell I like the packing stuff you get in crates. Oh here we go. Oh My god, oh god Oh god It's a cassava snack mate. They are neither delicious.
Oh god or country particularly. Oh god They really have a sort of off-flavor and it's I think they might be slightly stale. There's a stale element to it. Yeah, but what else is there to it?
Oh It's crunchy, but then it goes sticky. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's like it becomes sticky crunching your mouth, and then the flavor is like mild off-chee-ar Exactly what it is. It's like a slightly mild off.
Can you pass me a pig skin please? I need to wash the taste of it. Wash it down with a Chilean lime strip. Isn't that funny?
I have to wash down the taste of a cheese ball with part of the skin of a pig So I like these. No, great. They're horrible, but they're great. They're great.
They're just a concept of a horrible But I've fallen back in love with a pudding you've fallen back in love with a little bit Love it when I was kid and then when I went back to Syria and I hated it never look back and then about years ago I was like oh fancy some black pudding with my big breakfast Yeah, and it was like yeah, but you know what it's making out of poor It's full of blood and bits and all that stuff and I was like, you know, I really fucking want it though And so I had it was great with an egg putty with a slightly softer yolk to it So it kind of burst onto the black pudding and your black pudding slightly crisp Yeah, I really should have had breakfast today, man. Yeah, it's starting and instead you're eating chili and lime Pickskin and cassava balls off cassava balls. So which are horrible. What's your score for the cassava balls?
Oh, I'll go for three not very nice. Well, how'd you give it a point more than me? I don't think I found them as utterly as disgusting as you did. Maybe maybe I just I just love them and thought Fucking point of you.
I don't know what the point is. I don't know what the point is. They're not the only satisfying snack No, it's too much work involved in trying to enjoy it and eat it. Yeah, it's not great You know what I'm sure if you went over to where you were and you took a monster monster monster I'm on to people don't even with them.
They take that. No, they wouldn't you think anyone would love it? Anyone would love a pickled onion monster monster, mate. Really?
It's the height. What about a prawn cocktail crisp with that fly? In you know Miami don't know you didn't think the through didger. I wasn't there looking at people and judging whether they'd like British crisps Or maybe you should maybe that's your fucking problem.
I was too high on that cannabis edible. I did Jesus Christ Oh talking to Richard Taylor from the dance vlogging out the way man. Shut up. What coming look women end this section cleanly and then I'll do my bit Yeah, which is an extended one this week.
It's just I'm eating this. I like eating this. I eat it noisily as you tell the same story No, I don't want you to do that. So eat the freakin scratching right now.
All right, then you're gonna do a tells and dance floor. Yes. All right, okay Here we go right I can crack can right The contract what I'm looking for contractually oblige. Right the tractor.
I can't say anything for shut it It's time for against my best intentions and strongest you can't you can literally are not being able to say a single Let me just get this straight. It's time for another shit tells from the dance floor with Eli Silverman. Thanks ball Yes, it's another in the in-frequent series. I like to call Couple of tales this week Paul yeah, firstly I was DJing right just look don't start undermining me before you even heard it This girl comes up.
I tell you I've been doing lurchin press recently This girl comes up And she asked for a so start again this girl came up to you. I'm DJ of course every story begins with you DJing So you think that's why I was gonna tell her the dance floor boy. Yeah, yeah, so you're DJing a girl Well, you DJing up it was the shortage blues kitchen excellence. So I speak floor very loud people dancing people enjoying themselves What time did you come to you?
Wow shaking they raise estimate it was at about Quarter to three quarter three quarter three we stop at three. Okay, the music is over at three right? And so is the drinking of the boozers everyone out everyone out of three. So you're already here There's no people dancing.
That's what my job is make them dance. I select the records They dance you are the most elected and she comes up and she goes nice. Thanks, honey Fine So I said to her I do not have a copy. Oh, how'd she react?
Well, she went off another go came up. I said look I'm sorry. I don't have a copy. Yeah, and she said you're saying the structure look like a joke.
It's not a joke I really don't really know I get the manager, right? So this is a new for me. So the news wrinkle This is a new wrinkle for me. Go over your head.
Yeah, she's like I'll get the manager Wow I was just literally the contempt that I felt for that person at the moment. Yeah What did you say? You say fuck? Yeah, basically I shrugged her You did that.
That's it the manager's gonna be like, oh, what? I didn't play Mustang Sally when you demanded it That's it. He left the gigs on can you come to my show? All right, so Yeah, I take a seat please mate.
We've had complaints throughout the night I didn't want to bring this up, but we've been a bit in the book. You have not been playing Mustang Sally Is there any particular reason why you've been not doing that? Yeah, I don't own a copy and so I've not so I also I played Other chains by Wilson picket, okay, but you didn't play Mustang Sally after being repeatedly asked by two people I've got man. That's me when improvising.
I just you're on a bat better You know defense when you say I just don't have it the minute you said to me as your boss. I'm gonna take a shit You know long ago sound like my boss. No, cuz I'm not like a fucking disenfranchised hipster. Oh I don't know what he's like a little one's guessing in vective anyway, so I She goes on the manager, so that's riling me and then the other one they're in a group obviously and they've all decided Mustang Sally She's like she thinks I can't hear her right and I don't know what she means So she writes it helpfully on her phone screen.
Yeah, you know what she writes. What's thanks. I think about it The commitments Mustang Sally. Oh a particular one deal breaker.
It's over now. Oh cuz are you anti-commitment to them? I'm anti people who don't know what the actual artist is of the song that they want you to fucking play that they're gonna complain about They don't even know who's by you don't have any knowledge. You know you've heard it and wedding or something you fucking lowlife you Cultural voids Unality the commitments Fucking please please you're in a you're in a blues establishment.
It's gonna be you know properly reggae So, you know what I play reggae what's wrong with reggae Paul? Gonna say something racist now? I'll say like reggae But what I'm saying is you wouldn't go to the blues get an expected here reggae and sometimes you play it So it's not without the remit to be out of the parameters of what you'd expect like gig no No, but it just annoyed me that they also were ignorant of who the actual artist was fine But when I put my history before you come with a question me yeah to the center of a mile right come down to this Films I commitment and blues well as I'll gateway drugs to a wider scope of music now It's there probably don't be research further and decide to know or who did the original of you know Yeah, or it's Jackie tail feather because all I know is actually not on the movies if that's this level of introduction Then fine, but that's just how pop culture is how if they come to you and went oh, you don't have Mustang Sally what's other one from the commitments is it that by that can you oh yeah by by Charlie biscuits? Yeah, I'm going to threaten to get me stacked or whatever.
I'm not gonna suck you over fucking Mustang Sally. They're best not no so Yeah, so that's what you kind of deal with this request and this type of yeah, it's not this section It was novel at first back in the on kickable day for me. I had no concept you know I'll tell some wacky smells noodles. Yeah people like that modular noodles modular noodles dance floor DJ amplitude you're not gonna punch in gimmicks now mate Whatever you've got you've started to change you and I finished my point Yeah, so there's two different types of terrible requests you get that where they say just don't let don't do that Well, I'm a sip of orange juice Some will say some obscure tune that he thinks he blokes you do that they kind of try to say or I know about every mod What be you be more?
Yeah, we got the pistols and a backseat portion. Yeah, yeah, no, that's Let's go by the dent. Oh, of course. Sorry.
Yeah, you get that hopelessly obscure tune which I wouldn't even know about necessarily, but then you have the ladies generally Sexist trigger moments in the podcast sex is trigger moments in the podcast what you say about women But this service level in pop culture drives you to insanity sometimes it does pull phone off I agree with you. No, but I get it I think they largely enjoy music I have a good time because it's an emotive thing to dance to music and so I can understand They hear a familiar version of a song like Lulu's Shouse or the blues Well, the version of you know everybody needs somebody to love yes, you know They go on that reminds me of this moment and I'm letting go if you play a different version of it or on off our album track Baby like this is the same emotional moment that I'm getting so I'm frustrated Why aren't you playing more stuff reminds me about 16 year old and getting fingered in the school disco by Barry? Okay, so that's a one tells with dance floor. Are you ready for the morning over?
Are you ready for the second part of my Yes, so just before and not before I think about this section works the jingle doesn't work the stories trade off You know what doesn't work about this section for you. Oh, yeah, perhaps you should just leave the room while I do this section Thank you Don't do a fake walk out Oh God come back I can't oh, he's still here Okay, thank you Paul so now tell me your tedious story just before I left for my little sizor in the Us of a I was DJing the night before at the Camden Please get you yeah go to 330 After half hour about 10 minutes par for half hour. No, don't do it anyway. They've changed it now The time no But um, you know the concert three now, which is a rock and roll good really for all of us But anyway, we were still going to free 30 on that night, right and about 10 past three Hmm, I had a few you drinking house working.
I was here. It gives me free drinks. They want me to drink Give you a number of free drinks. You fill in the added content, right?
I had a beer resting. Oh Okay, but the sections still really come on It was a bit rest like casualty now. I'm seeing the setup of the accidents resting on the CDJ Which is above the record days not a very clever place to put a drink. I'm just putting that out there You're absolutely right because yeah 10 minutes after three Slashery Into the mixer oh may the mixer was under about an inch of beer and it's nothing I could do You know I turned around I turned back and it all pulled on and literally landed and pulled out on top of the mixer How unprofessional I just thought it's gonna stop the music's gonna stop and then it's totally just not man I had to walk up walk of shame up to the front and tell the manager to put the put the I love this Yeah, I love the idea that you fucked it the home desk and then you have to go man Oh Don't know what happened I put a drink dangerously I didn't make you do that looking for fucking Mustang Sally.
I fucking knocked it My drink goes Basically broke and so I tried to get the excess beer off the top and I unplugged it all and I was holding the mixer up and beer was pouring Out of the box, you know like I'm shaking the beer out like that's never gonna work again never never never anyway I'm still in an upright position. So any excess beer can drink out. Yeah, and I go and I tell the management Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I spill a whole beer on the mixer. It's not working to act and you know what happened They had the no they had the mp3 there sort of a mix on the last 20 minutes because obviously it was No, fuck and some guy and I was trying to sort stuff out behind the deck some guy came up No, you're gonna play any more blues music. I was like I'm not playing anything. So what no place in blues me I'm like look I'm not DJ Exactly.
Yeah, so annoying. Oh, yeah, sorry fuck off. Anyway You upset and then little little coda. Yeah, story.
So I was in America the next day thinking Christ I hope they don't you know charge me for the mix or fire you how right or find me outright, but came back last night. Yeah Blues kitchen candle. Yeah, I wonder what's up with the mixer probably action be probably have a replacement I get up there saying mixer. Oh working perfectly.
Yeah. That's the sound guy My friend. Oh cost us. I said you hear about me pouring beer or whatever that he said yeah, it works fine I'm gonna do it every week now.
I keep it good. Thank you. How about that? It dried out.
Wow. It's a hardy mixer Yeah, really is right out now it works and there's your tails with dance blue I still really hate this section. Well, I'm bored of it really come down to that What could you do? What would you do people enjoy tells me dance for you?
Yeah? Also, anyway, let me if you want you like book for any weddings or you know funerals or you need someone DJing What you doing? I had another noodle What you're gonna do the sky about it? I'm looking in my head.
Yeah, but you're moving ahead. You thought you could see it in the sky I'll just describe it to you because I'm not doing it now, but another patch on the noodle special There's just a little teaser for the ball. It's a little tea step patch of the noodle special I put a noodle back from Western beef the which has all the Latino food in it. Oh my god You know what it is crap chili live flavor Ninks in with our chili and lime pigskins that we had so as it goes for my whole theory of instant noodles that instant noodles Are modified and change from what culture food culture they're trying to fit into for example I'm going to kill you the pickle flavor I mean the gurkin flavor, which is Polish and then you've got the chili line sort of latina Noodles of the world Noodle Noodle variations of the world And with your host knife Eli Silverman cut out your tongue That's all Paul you tried to undercut me.
That's it Anyway, coming up next on Chief Show vinyl platter. Oh, we did the vinyl. Yeah, we do vinyl All right, we need to get that ready Now it's one of my favorite parts of the show. It's called Silverman's platter.
Is that what it's called? Yeah, didn't you agree on it called? Are you not happy? It's terrible.
You were happy with it last time I changed my mind. What do I call it now then because you know consistency's quite important when you're doing it. Oh, right? Alright, Silverman's platter it is So a few items for Silverman's platter this week, Paul.
Yes, hit me with it What are we doing? What order are we doing either? The order that you fancy? Okay, let's start with yes, Arnie and the terminators Oh, tell me a bit more about Arnie and the terminators.
I'll be back now. Where do you get all these records? By the way, by the way, where'd you find them? Cherry shops are good for terrible novelty records that no one ever wants to possess Yeah, because people don't want to possess them So they put them in cherry shops and they hope never to see them again because they're embarrassed by having them in the first place Yeah, I mean novelty records a funny thing, isn't it?
You buy it you listen to it and then what a couple of times then it's not funny after a year Is it no and it has no musical value really? No, you can't really play it. You know parties No, especially it's from the early 90s where everything's a different reference anyway Yeah, and this is definitely a particular reference to the film of Terminator 2 I'd imagine is where he uses the nine-arby back So let's listen to the song right now Right, so tell us about the song tell us tell us about it. Just I mean the production is slap dash.
Oh would be an understatement Yes, I just want to bring it one inconsistency now with the song that you know, kind of spooks I'm not supposed to but it kind of attends to be a dance song for the 90s right that you can tell it's kind of the dance dance Vibe yeah, yeah, you know that they're laying all the on the stuff on top of it I'll be back and all that stuff I think I found this the R2D2 sound effects every now and then That Yeah, they just it's a bit like a it's like five so stick it all in yeah stick it all in just stick in some other reference It's a bit like ami to build a stuff the house on the hill. Yeah, which has a guy doing impressions and he does James T cook like fuck See do you know anything and it's like what this was a novelty record about ami to build? Yeah, but you got that voice and that's why he did it. I think they're probably in the studio Only in the term that is making go look at this cool.
See three PO where this is the thing I've got it's made art Sorry I don't care I don't care. I don't care. I don't care I stole all that much and never been a big Star Wars person No situation. I just not everyone can like fucking Star Wars and it's getting increasingly hard to fucking avoid it these days If you want me to have a little bit of a ransus.
Oh look Star Wars there Star Wars there Star Wars everywhere I know from every year for the rest of our lives Don't you think that lessons the brand or something when you know it's a regular churning out of you know fucking brand Yeah, well, that's you know, of course it does but that's what I want to do They want to make money don't be so you never you what was gonna happen the next year like one It was like our gremlins is out in the summer and the year after that was all cusp of the year after like oh back to the future It was the year after gremlins. I think it was the same year as gremlins actually 84 I think it was but either way it's like a variety but now it's like oh, it's a new event is moving Yeah, and it's a new fucking what soul was movie and serious furious movie eight there on now And they're all right, but they're just wacky car. It's like basically what would happen if you gave guys You're really mostly the chance to make a wacky race is moving didn't there when they're like several hundred herby movies There's been a few the latest one I think was fully loaded with Lindsay Lohan and that was back in the herby fully loaded Which is funny because that's actually how they describe Lindsay Lohan later on in her life Loaded Yes, so the satire puns coming thick and fast here on the future. So this is only the terminators.
I'll be back Yeah, it's a terrible production. What can you tell us about the people who made it? It's Steve Wright and the posse. Yeah, so in the UK There was a very popular afternoon drive time present on radio one called Steve Wright.
I think he's alive He is already one soon now and he's massively I don't take eight of you he's put some weight over the end I don't like I don't like to be cruel in this podcast unless it's just you or to me I think we can be cruel to each other, but I don't tend to like to be cruel to other people But he's a fat fucking cunt. Sorry. No, he got you look at him He looks like someone's put a tiny version of his head on a much bigger version of his body Um, the face remained the same size. Yeah, he looks like um john le guzzume in spawn You know, he played the clown character.
It was in spawn. Okay. Yeah, anyway, so anyway, he presented a drive time show They pop up and what was the gimmick was that he had a crew of people around them in the show crazy guys posse That kind of shit. Yeah, this is by Steve Wright and the posse.
It says long live Steve Wright and the posse on the cover Yeah, as graffiti but arnie in the terminates is the official bad name obviously written and produced by Richard Easter He was part of that posse. Yeah, so he's probably the guy who did the very bad arnie impression That's the other thing I was gonna mention not only got the inconsistent R2D2 noises. Yeah, you also have very poor by today's standard arnie impression They call by anyone standard. It's just something to do with bad German accent.
They've got none of that. You know, that I can never do I can't do arnie But you know you have to get that out of you know, I'm getting the chapero. Yeah, so even that's better. Yeah, actually Yeah, it's not too bad.
Yeah, it's better. But he's just like oh be bark You know, I mean as just sort of a generic bad German accent Yeah, as if that would fucking make it any better as if that would work so out of how many gold discs you're gonna give it I'm gonna give it one it is awful. Don't have any use of any with all no any The production slapdash is a cash in it sounds like something shouting out you mean literally amthically it's a cut title cash in Yeah, and it worked in it because you just told me it got to number five under which is back in the early 90s that meant something I think one night to ever came out night one and uh, yeah, you make money get it at that point on top of the pops and everything Also, my hand. I've got the other Steve Wright single I possess.
Yes, mr. Angry with Steve Wright and we played out when it on our incleable show Yes, I'm so angry just for little notes if you're interested about your glee gables It's largely awful But if you want to listen to it when we set up patreon people who donate x amount will get a download code I think so every single unclickables which is like 20 episodes of what I like to call well dodgy shit Ropey so that was really good and someone just like oh unfortunately. Yeah, that's really good I just read branded as gee show You've already had the only episodes you started by saying I'm sorry like how are you? I was like, I don't know.
I don't know what to say. Basically. Yeah, so that's no different than the other Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha so yeah, mr angry there Which is just a man shouting down a phone is no but it has the dance mix angry rap on the other side And I have to say yeah musically. Yeah, mr.
angry in fast superior, which one came first 85 It's a good six years. Hey, there's a while. That was yeah, that was the height of the Steve Wright phenomenon Mr. angry was a character who caught the show I think who's on the phone right now?
It's like what are you saying about? Well, I think he's gone well off the scale Yes, he certainly did So that is only the term is I'll be back a worthless piece of shit if I can be so blunt But like next track is what we like on this section. Yeah next track on Silverman's Platter is Murphy in the bricks. Oh by Noel Murphy So like Murphy the brick sounds like band title doesn't it?
But that is the name of the actual song Yeah, I got a few thinking the band was called Murphy in the bricks which in itself would be a bad bad man And then the song was called Noel Murray a kind of Blair S. Noel Murphy. No Murphy. Yeah, so let's listen to that right now Dear sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me flight for at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight Me body is all black and blue me face a deathly grey and I write this note to say why Murphy's not at work today While working on the 14th floor some bricks I had to clear but to toss them down from such a height was not a good idea The foreman wasn't very pleased.
He is an awkward sod He said I'd have to carve them down the ladders in me hot Now shifting all those bricks by hand it was so very slow So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below But in me haste to do the job I was too blind to see That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me Well, that was gash. Yeah, it is I kind of well constructed rhyme structure tells a story Yeah, I mean they didn't hear it the whole episode we didn't play the whole song in the episode just now we play the snippet But um they basically tell a very simple story of it's a folk Irish song a silly little whimsy about a joke a very popular myth about a guy Trying to pull a barrel of bricks So you've heard of this myth about other places apart there's record. Funnily not the show myth was tested It out to see whether it would work So in the story the myth is that guy's pulling a big barrel of bricks up to the top is pulley Right then it's too heavy It's too heavy and he gets lifted up and he gets pulled up as it drops down on the way up He hits the barrel and rags his head. Yeah, then he hits the top at the same time the barrel breaks at the bottom scattering all the bricks Now it pours out half over the door half either way It's lighter so then he starts falling down he hits the barrel on the way down And then he hits the floor onto the bricks that he's been spins that's been spilled and then the barrel hits the top and rags Shouters and then it the rest of what's left falls down upon him Yeah, so he's lying bloodied and beaten on the floor coming in bricks and barrels and uh It's funny because he's not in work the next day in this song explains it.
It explains why in a protracted fucking man I told that reasonably succinctly in what 30 seconds you didn't have that little blarney charm Did you know he went to do the book the day did he do the day? I hate that fucking shit. It's like right. Yeah Oh, it's like just tell the song just just it's like, oh, am I you wish and I work on a build-in site and I'm competent I broke my neck the other and I'm filing for divorce divorce.
No, what would it be injury at work? I'm going to get to claim today. I'm fucking doing claims direct. Yeah, the excitement of that makes me fucking erect I'm full of happiness.
I got to wear it I think it was just enough to make your teeth go green. I lost it though. Yeah, I went from folk to you I'd fit for cabarees fudge Murphy in the bricks. Yeah, no Murphy What struck me is how horrific his injuries really would be if you actually put that in real life Yeah, he breaks his shoulder because he's yeah He's got bricks falling on him sland his fingers on the on the pulley at the top probably smashed his head up He'd be in serious trouble.
Yeah, someone uh, like someone came along to rescue in there Well, we don't know we don't know what happened to him That's why it's not in work because he's having major surgeries save his life and the whole audience laughing Stupid irish guy smashes his face open The laughing but they don't realize that unfortunately the company that worked with it have proper insurance Uh policy policy for the site and so he was never going to get the money needed for help Get his better with his surgery and so his wife's had to go on the game to earn the money So she shamed herself just a couple hundred quid. What's her name? Bettany and how can I find Bettany's number? Bettany is in my head.
Yeah, I know I know I did Eli. What can I do with for you? Can you give me a hand job? Oh, I'll give you one of these specials.
I call it me barrel of bricks Basically I start at the bottom And then I violently tug it off to the top and then I hurt your helmet and then I pull it hard down and smack my helmet With the pulley yeah, and then I pull me hand down and smack you on the balls and then I jank it up again Then I bash you on the helmet and then you come so well, I need a score for Murphy and the bricks by now Murphy No, it's you you rate it. I go with it is your expertise. How many gold platters. I'll give it too.
It was nicely recorded You can hear the audience you can tell it's recording. Oh, is it 10? Yeah, four. Yeah, that's one only the terminators I mean we don't like it because of personal taste book compared to the quality of the first song.
Yeah, it's much more quality It's just for the old years. It's the diddly diddly diddly. Yeah, I love the Irish accent. I do Okay, so lovely.
I don't I can't do the double in one or double in the back. I can't do anything. Well, that's what's going from. Oh, hello I always say to do a voice your oh, hello.
I won't do that this time because it just to give me an accent Irish I fell into that one Okay, so I'll give it four five five five five five in the middle of the road It's perfectly nice and uh, he had a hit with that. I believe it the time probably. Yeah, probably kind of not I'm not interested. What is next on your platter?
This is a cash-in So anyway, it's all one. I'm a quite large label arista. It's the wwf Superstars with slam jam. Let's listen to that right now Well, that was a funky tune that was terrible.
It was terrible, but it was very well produced Yes, I mean you can tell a lot of money went into that you think the production was more expensive than the only in the terminators one Yeah, I'm gonna say vastly more. Yeah, it was more. It was more well done. Let's just break it down in terms of the budget I need to make terminators one dodgy guy in a recording studio by the radio one recording to everyone coming for the day Recording it sampling it doing funny voices but a few points and whistles in meanwhile Aris there and the ass for the rich bulldog and fucking Randy savage or whatever I'm just noticed it's a vinyl record.
It's not a con and waterman really juicing arranged by mike stock and Peter waterman It's funny because it doesn't quite have the uh their sound it does it does that boy band sort of chorus That's very much sort of brother beyond or you know, it feels like that could have been a chorus. Oh It's got that Shit not so much like nuke it on the block. What mazes is like that. That's who they're coming back to report Yes, they're aching that kind of sound for sure.
I think it's all the song is just all the fucking wrestlers wanking off And they're gonna make the British bulldozer hi. I'm the British bulldog and I'm so British. Yeah, core blimey You know, I mean poor blimey love the dogs to be the only one who really gets a word in there Oh, that's because he's probably the most literate of all the fucking wrestlers It's like uh, I don't know the rest of that we're on there, but let's just say it's not any others are there? Well, there was a few let's just say I can't remember them all but you know, let's just say um Yeah, the taker the only taker be like uh, mr.
Taker because he recently retired in the yeah There's a big thing about it. I fucking go uh, yeah, so we're like mr Untega we just need you to do a quick line for the song. We need to say And the undertaker and I'm a backbreaker. All right.
No, I can do that. All right. Here we go. I'm just gonna give you the cue I want you to say it.
So here we go. Oh Breaker no, that's not good enough It's a crap. You can have some crack. Why am I from the north?
To be honest the other take a big anywhere in the UK. If you're in northern. Yeah, but he's not only on the ticker ladies and gentlemen I'm risen from the grave. Hi, I'm the British Bulldog.
I'm an American accent I thought he came from like Manchester or Stockforce. I'm a yank You know, we're gonna have a policy I think on the show from this point on because you know sometimes like the internet completely room conversations. Yes Because they've been just going to fax checks with their phone. We're not allowed to do that anymore now.
All right. I know we can have some kind of millennial You know, no brain. I'm just saying that's a good conversation. Sorry about that.
I'm listening to this. I know I don't know. They think it's cool that we take the piss out of them little snotty little little things Little uglings with their fucking devices grafted to their faces because they have because they know everything they think they know everything but they don't know everything They've got all knowledge at their fingertips. They think they know everything.
They don't they go to all men shouting at the youth as per I thought we do that's what you do. You start presenting the youth. You know, you got no reason to I find some of them quite attractive And that's where we have to get rid of Eli from chief shows 42 to on common court case. No, I mean look millennials are anyone in their 20s.
That's legal It's legal for me to have sex with people in their 20s. They're half your age. So it's legal when you were 20. They were consenting.
They're consenting adults. It's an equal I don't know why defending myself. I must confess my crimes. Sorry If you're rich you're allowed to have a girlfriend.
He's right I'm like, you know, that's like just because you're rich. Why can't I have sex with a girl who's younger than me? You're not rich. That's a fucking good place to start with that one.
Exactly. So if you had loads of money no matter your cesspit They'd be the meat locker the house of pickle. Next fucking question. Let's move on next pattern.
Well, we haven't given a store. Have we for that one? What was that one? What would you give it?
I liked it. It's all right. It's easy. Yeah, but I find the tune really annoying Stock Hake and a Whatman obviously were class acts if you like that kind of thing, you know, you have to and I'm sure that was played off on the radio in America I'm sure someone's strolled out to it.
You're on the www I don't know yet, you know, but you know in comparison to what we've had so far. It looks good, but I don't give it six right six is fine It's not a tune I'd want to hear. No. All right.
I'm finally what have you got for us on the platter now the king of novelty records one might say And an international phenomenon at the time was the gene popcorn. Yes, let's listen to um, no, let's just listen to it. No, no explain what you're about to listen popcorn everyone knows But That was pretty good actually Sounds like one. Have you got uh, it was one of the first tunes to come out Which had a synthesizer and I think it was right it's a huge hit because I had a synth these or future It was the toy story of music.
It was almost like the tels are of the early-MAN Had a futuristic vibe. No, I've done a little bit of research, no something about pop comp But basically it seems to have been released in several countries by different artists all around the same period That's strange. How do they get around that? I don't know.
There was no copyright on it or they kept selling it because there's that one by Mr K, which the B side of is Synthetic Sister No. 2, which I love. Okay. Great.
I love that song. All right. Fantastic bit of kitschy sort of synth music. Okay.
And so, but he's got his version of popcorn on the other side, Mr K. How many different, I mean, I guess they can do it. There were lots and this, pop it up. This is popcorn by a Narcic system.
I believe it's a French version. But what makes this unusual, Paul, is this has vocals on it. Popcorn with lyrics. Tell me listen to it right now.
Let's hear a bit of that now. That sounds like what most people do on YouTube every fucking day where they put lyrics on the song. It's not great, is it? No.
I won't. I'm scared about it. I should popcorn up my ass. I should popcorn up my ass.
I don't want to go with something here. I, I, I spit popcorn up my ass. I, I, I, I heat it up with glass. I burn the glass on the glass and stick it out the ass.
You want the worst improviser in the fucking world. I'm all over. No, it's no fucking excuse. I'll do some good work in the future, Paul.
Jesus fucking hate Christ. We've got to really stop coasting with this shit and actually call some shit out. Okay. Okay.
We put plenty of effort in. What it reminded me of, the vocal is that other record which you know it covered. The red car and the blue car had the race which was a novelty tune from the red car and the red car and the red car. Exactly.
It doesn't have that nasal sort of quality. It's got popcorn vocal. It's got popcorn vocal. Fake microphone from the early 30s kind of sound to it.
Like the bugles, I said to the bugles. Sounds a bit like the bugles, yeah. I heard you. I had popcorn in my jabs.
I had popcorn in my jabs. I had popcorn in my jabs. You know, I was saying it all over the jabs. I had popcorn in my jabs.
That's bad because it's racist and sexy. I'm spunking popcorn out my jabs. That'd be a party trick. Oh my God.
That's the other stuff. You want to see this? Yeah, stop watching Ron Jeremy, sack his own dick. I've got Eli in the next room.
He's blowing popcorn out his dick. The meter's producing popcorn. What's all you get in next? Oh, I'm curling my nose.
Oh, it's butter. Yeah, but it's very salty. Oh, very salty. You're really out doing yourself with the noise mouth effect.
I'm like that guy from Police Academy. Oh, here's the helicopter. That's not too bad as well. I'm a railway driver.