I can't think of anything I'd rather drink than pep smut cherry. I'm when I'm a sleeper drink. I dream about it. Yeah Elon Musk.
What drink would it be? No playing Bellatro. I'm not 100% Can you hear it? I'm gonna have to make do, aren't we?
It's the real fucking week you're ill. Every fucking week. Mr empathy ball guy. Don't worry guys.
I'm 110%. Yeah? You feel it? I can lift you up.
How's this for you though? That's fine. You sound beautiful darling. Can you give me a quick count to 10 please Mr Mr.
Helm? One, two, three, four, five. Really smart guys next door. Hang on to this.
Six, stop talking at seven, eight, nine, ten. Right, you got there everyone. He got there. He's fine.
He got there. Well you asked if I could. And I can. And you did.
You was like a little sesame street moment. Right, I'm recording all day by the way. So surprise. That's how I like to get you.
Oh, you have your little plastic. I was thinking I should have said that because I actually wanted to say can I have a public next? So I didn't bring mine. You can pour.
Yes. You're just sharing hailers. You're not meant to. Why not?
You've got the chance. But you shared so much over the years. Well you're in a booth as well. This is a college.
This is the mind. It's the mind. You just say you got to all right. If it's going to do this.
It's going to do. Vapov. Vapov. Do you want to poth?
That's what I want to poth. Give you a high. Does it? Take it to a movie land.
We're just a tight chested man who should really lose weight and stop smoking. Okay. Can I ask a question about it? Didn't they used to come in like pellets and you'd have to load them.
Yeah. How do ones? Yeah. Right.
Right. They put it on airplane mode. Airplane is perfectly acceptable. Right.
Everyone finish with the tape. I just put it on airplane mode. Don't call me shy. Sorry I put it on.
Airplane the movie mode. Fine. I have a proper gag on top of the show. How exciting ever.
Over over. Over. Over. Under.
Have you ever been in a Turkish prison or a prison or a prison? Or a prison. Or a prison. ...
I have killed him. Right. ..ariight. Right.
Hello. Welcome to a cheap show. Is it even there? No.
I'm not going to keep all of that. I might keep some of it as an indictment on your health. Frankly, I did. Don't call me shy.
I like your laugh with this cock cow. It's got kind of almost porcelain girly quality I quite like. Oh. Oh.
Oh. Hello everybody. I'm returning guest on his own this time without his conflict blanket friend Daniel Metcalfe. How was he?
Does he sleep late? How do you mean? Because I, Paul said to me... Well, I'm not saying anything yet.
I've got one. Paul let me know that three was too late. Too early. Oh yeah, he works.
He works nights. He works days. Oh, I see. I thought he was...
The only alternative was not that he works with an office house. He works through the night and he's asleep at 3pm. No, he's working right now. He's working.
I thought he was a cat. He's watching lots of movies. He's always watching movies. He doesn't have time for appointments.
Yeah. So I thought maybe he's up all night watching movies. To the point where he won't make day appointments. Well, if you stop watching...
Paul, how about this? Right. If you watch movies all night every night. Movies, movies, movies.
Yes. What was the one? Movies games and videos. It's what it became later on.
Later on. What did? Movies, movies, movies. You should be on Saturday morning before like movie.
Movies, movies, movies. It used to be on after the kids' TV programming and then it was on. And then you'd sit there and it'd be like... Oh, maybe what was the one?
What was the one? It said take a country in half. It's at some time. Take a country in a third.
It's out at the cinema. And in America, it's in the American charts. And you knew that in like a night's time you'd get... You'd get naked guns in the third.
It was proper activities. It was magic. It was magic. Movies, movies, movies.
And a lot of the time it would be like executive decision is on in the charts. And so I'd go to my dad. Let's go to see executive decision. It's on in the charts.
Yes. And then we'd go... We'd do that afternoon on Saturday. Right.
It was brilliant. But then the bottom fell out. So they decided to fold in music videos and games to make it more than multimedia packages. Music games and videos.
Yeah. But I can guarantee. Movies, movies, movies, movies. It was probably quietly ditched.
They pointed it very small. It was John Sacks, wasn't it? No, I'm not. I'm like from 40 towers.
Andrew Sacks. No, who's Andrew Sacks? It's a vulture. So John Sacks didn't he used to host sort of like...
It wasn't going for gold because that was Matthew Kelly. No, Matthew Kelly. No, it was Matthew Kelly. No, it was Matthew Kelly.
Andrew Kelly. Something Kelly. Ian Kelly. Go for gold, Matthew Kelly.
No, Matthew Kelly was... This is a six and a half, seven minute cold open. It's been that long. I need a segue to get it.
Hey guys, let's get going. Yeah, that'll do. Fuck it. I think it was John Sacks.
Right. Was he the guy who played the villain in Galaxy Quest? No, he wasn't an actor. He was like a radio presenter.
Maybe he was... Oh, he's a hire kind of guy. He was a... No, but I think he really cared about it.
I can't remember. I might be talking about my ass, but I think his name was something Sacks. S-A-C-H-S. And I think he hosted a daytime TV quiz show.
I mean, in the mold of going for gold. I can just look it up with movies, games, and videos, ITV, narrator, narrator, narrator. Right. He's taking some Pepsi Met's cherry here.
Yes, for the sake of goodwill and peace among men, I brought Pepsi, Max, cherry, to the table. And I gift opera offering. And we need more. We're both addicts, aren't we?
Say that again. What? As a gift offering. As a gift offering.
Paul, yes. I need more than that from you. And we need an admission on your behalf that it's a delicious sobe. Well, that's never going to happen because I think it's piss.
What do you mean? I don't like it. We've had this discussion before. My worldview is either have something with sugar in or don't have something with sugar in.
And what? Let people die? Yes. Let children fat up and die?
Yes. But what if you're not drinking it because it's a sugar alternative because you actually just like the drink and stuff. People like to come and it happens to come without sugar. I can't speak on mental health issues and why people would choose to degrade them.
Right, he's calling us nasses. He's calling us. I'm not cherry nasses. I'm calling you nautas.
Just ill-informed. At all. Yeah, all right. I don't understand.
I did fucking reception down here. Ooh. I don't understand. I don't understand.
But it's, well, I don't know. To each their own. But I'm not going to cause too much of a frackus today because I brought this in as a piece offering. My belief system on cherry max is cherry max.
It's calling it cherry max. No one's calling it cherry max. It's the kids. That's cherry.
That's cherry. PMC. PMC. Yeah, PMC.
I've got a major case of PMC. E. Pepsi max cherry envy. Maybe this is what it comes down to.
I'm never going to join in the fun. We can join in the fun. Everyone's going to join in the Pepsi max. I don't really want to.
Okay. That's fine. You've got Brexit. We've got PMC.
You've tasted the other flavors. Don't you the man guy? How is that? No.
No. No. No. No.
No. You know what? Lime was good. I think the PMC max cherry used to be sort of like purple and raspberry was red.
But then they got rid of raspberry and they made pep to mache cherry red. This is always the issue that manufacturers have. Problem is, three of your main flavors, basically the same color. That's why blue riles exists.
Yeah, blue riles exists to differentiate the berries. Which means... I'll straw. So it's just a string.
It's not petrol, it's not petrol, it's just a... It better be pep to me. In the final battle. I'll take it every Saturday night.
In the cherry wars, I will pick cherry over cherry. No, I'll pick cherry over strawberry in that war. I will. I'll do that battlefield.
The strawberry is a fucking ridiculous idea. I think that extraordinary flavor is not the way forward. No, it's very bad. I think in the bag with synthetic banana.
But you know what the story is right now? I know everyone talks about how it's not the real fucking flavor of banana. It's an old banana flavor. It's an old banana flavor.
And the flavor that they generate for ice cream and milk shakes and such are actually the flavor of the fucking original banana. And the banana that's been modified now for most market sellers is not the same flavor profile. And carrots and purple. Oh, fuck my knees.
Oh, do you know how to... Sweeten up early pasta sauce. I told you this. Why are you fucking asking me?
Because it's really good. I think I'm carrying it. I put some PMT in it. It's sweetened out without sugar.
Really? Have you really cooked with PMC? I have. I have.
But not... Mr. Gray, I was here for a book deal, man. Well, I had to do PMC with everyone.
Oh, cooking with Cherry Max. Oh, Cherry Max. I'm talking to the people who call it. Now that I know I don't like it, I'm going to get warm.
I don't care either way. It makes you sound like an old sad cat. You have a fucking old sad gun. It's the premise of the show.
Yeah, it's the first. Yeah. You're all like, you're all like cooking with paxie Max. I did...I cooked some venison a couple of Christmases ago.
D glazed the pan with PNC. Yeah. Made a nice sweet cherry gravy with it. Very nice.
Yeah. I didn't put it on the meat though. I'm out of my balls with it. Right.
Well, we're all in something today, aren't we? We're all in something good. No, no, no. But poor people, we hold dear.
Sticky cola ribs. I was probably like, my fucking years. That's a fucking gun. That's a thing.
Yeah. Is it? Yeah. It's a fucking cola.
Oh, fuck. I mean, I used to make this fucking cola sauce. What you do is you get two litres of Coke, right? And you would get a bag of those cola fizzy bottles.
Oh. And you would fucking reduce that down until it was like... You'd get two litres, right? Put it in a pan.
Yeah. You'd reduce it down. Like a scum. But not scum, because that's sort of like foamy, right?
It'd be more like... It'd be latrical. Yeah, it'd be latrical. I'm a lassus.
Yeah, I'm a lassus. Yeah. Kind of flavoured molasses. Yeah, yeah.
My favourite blue singer. Fuck off. What have you done? Come on, I'm on my world.
This is again. Andrew Sacks. If you want to present a movie to games with videos for us, he'd be cancelled these days. Well, it's the faulty, he like executive decision.
Well, that was David Sousscha. No, he wasn't. He was. He was.
He was Sousscha, he was in the main villain. In what? In executive decision? In other than that, for C.H.P.S.S.
He said Andrew Sacks, Ants Manuel was in executive decision, but it wasn't. It was David Sousscha. You know, my joke was that he was presenting movies, games and videos, and suggesting that the movie the week from Man Well from 40 Towers with executive decision. Well, I thought we did was we organically built on what each other was saying, and it got more and more ridiculous, but now you've deconstructed it.
It's shit. Well, they show well. Welcome to the format of this show. The successful format of this show, I would argue.
Paul, yeah, there's other fucking pointing. It's rude. Other people called Andrew Sacks stop pointing its rude. Like, I went to the shoot stop.
Hang on, hang on, hang on. This is the natural content for you. Hey, stop pointing its rude. Do your flies up.
Oh, see? My nitty. Because it's... My nitty.
Because that's what you've called in this week. Your nitty. It's like a ravenous goat. He's taking cams.
Does it fucking sculpt it all up? No, it's like mums. Scoop's up dustboards. That would be a nitty, right?
A nitty goat. Yeah. I guess it would be a nitty, but you nitty would be a small nanny goat penis. Can I finish this with Paul horns?
With ball horns. Speaking of sacks. When you go pointing it's rude. When you go in the tube, yeah.
Someone's busking, but they've got basically just a Henry Hoover. It's like listening to a dead man. It's kind of fucking words. You're on.
They've got Henry Hoover. Yeah. Like in the tube. He's playing a saxophone.
He's playing a saxophone. Right. And sometimes they change his name. What?
Her bedroom. Her bedroom. They fuck. They fuck.
They call him Jay Edkavacchio. You're right. I don't have any tissue. I've got sleeves.
Oh, man. I'll just go. I'll just go. I can't fucking have a bit of breakdown.
It's fucking ridiculous. Is this the worst one yet? Easily. Is it me?
Is it you guys? No, it's not. I can't put my nose on a t-shirt or something. Oh, my God.
Can you not just open up both of those soundproofing doors? If we all promise to be quiet for a little bit. Can we just take a break and we'll stop and come back and start? The second break, we've not seen anything.
We've just taken a second. We've just taken a second. We've just sent this show for the benefit of the listener. Did you look at Terry Trumpet?
That's not what I'm going to say. Who did movies, games, or videos on? Right. The voice of movies, games and videos.
Will these games and videos? Well, Stephen Priestley, who was A. Stephen Priestley, that rings the bell. If you invite him over and pretend you're out.
Yeah, he did. Stephen Priestley rings the bell! Stephen Priestley rings the bell, if you invite him over and pretend you're out. Stephen Priestley rings the bell, if he's working with the scientist man and ponies have a movie about.
If he's working with the scientistJeaguard in passing off and he's got a dog nearby. Stephen Priestley rings the bell, I'm a bellringer. Stephen Priestley rings the bell, it's the bellringer thing again, sorry. Stephen Priestley rings the bell because there's a bullet in the put back of Notre Dame.
SportACHRA Stephenronic CNN She does, she asks someone if they can, if they can, and then she replies in kind. Which, and by her bell, she means her massive clit. Right! She obviously does, have you heard that song?
Yeah, get it up with my ding-a-ling with a chug, Barry. Have a genital double act on stage. You know what Chuck's middle name was? Fuck you, no.
Us, sir. Right, so. You know what Chuck's middle name was? It was Pepsi Max.
No, that's what I'm trying to say. It brings us round, doesn't it? It was a Jack's middle name was. Oh, this week's, you know what Chuck, Pepsi Max, Barry.
There is a guy, isn't it? A jazz guy? A jazz guy who worked with Son Rar? Son Rar?
Yeah. He's a free jazz guy. Yeah, that's so the Buffalo's fan-sartist. Name the Pepsi Max.
Is this what you're going to do this week? I'm all in. Do you know what Eagle Eye is middle name is? It's the same as the magic.
It's Eagle Eye, Cherry Pepsi Max. Right, okay, can we move it all around? We move on to the Cherry Pepsi Max, the Scottish is now, please. Do you know what I'm saying, Barry?
Right, fuck this. We're getting into the beans of this. I went into the shop on the way into Pepsi Max, and I saw a few things, along with the Packet of Chris, that was sent to us this morning in the P.O. box.
Oh, it sounds like we're about to get started, but before we do, what was John Sax? John Sax was a broadcaster, a sports commentator and voiceover artist, but you may know him as the voice of the original series of gladiators. Oh, my God. He's and?
What did he host as a daytime TV show? Oh, I'm not fucking. Do your own research at home. Get involved.
Comment below. I don't know. But that's what he's mostly known for. But he wasn't the Scottish referee.
No, he wasn't. Have you had a John Saxon? I know John Saxon. He was in, uh, Saxon.
Yeah. He was in, uh, Enter the Dragon. Yeah. And I don't mean John Saxon the guy.
What do you mean right now? Because it looks like you're having your own fucking podcast over there. I'm always having my own podcast over here. I know you are.
I know you are. No, no, no. What are you doing? What are you doing?
Why are you bringing up John Saxon? Because I was going to do a joke about the League of Tarot of Sax. Why? Why?
No one fucking knows who's listening to that. It's just for you. I know Saxon. I don't even know about you, is it?
Fuck you. It's not about any, like, the immediate references that someone in this room can get. Oh, fuck it. Okay.
Well, let's take him to talk. When I say Christmas, come on. When I say John Saxon. Yeah.
I mean, the guy out of Saxon. Like the Vietnam street and stuff. Yes. Yes.
And in the Vietnam street. And not Mal Mal Street. What did you say? Mal Mal Street.
Like they're on Mal Mal Street. Fucking terrifying film. I can't talk to everyone. I'm really sick.
What's your talk? John Saxon. Right. I'm here on the street.
I love it. I'm here on the street. Great. I did.
I had one thing. I did a bunch of me on now. What year was that? Like two thousand ten.
Around them. One thing. It's smelt of wee. Was it cat wee?
It's smelt of cat piss. And it made you exude. If you did any amount of it, it made your poor stink of cat piss. Right.
So that's not good luck, is it? Also, it gave me the horn. It gave me the horn to the point where I had to stop and deal with this in the toilets of the National Theatre. Well, you know.
I was outside on the beach. And then I did to me out. It has to be location. I'm going to watch my car though.
Yes. No. I had to just go find the new car. I don't know if the National Theatre is a micard.
It might be like a car. They might have had several productions. What's me out of here? Tell us.
It's quite nice. It's quite important. It's powdery, it's not it. It's quite nice.
It's quite euphoric. But incredibly moorish. Like heroin? No, not you.
It's more upper than heroin. You don't get relaxed. You get sort of, well, you get horny about it. And you get fucking stunk on it.
Like you would not know. Well, then you dealt with it in the bathrooms. I was going out with someone at the time and they were there. They weren't going to.
They not help. They were. Why don't they help? They were going to do that.
They kept saying, no, it's not pointing. I think with my nitty goats. Shut off the shot now. You're going to go.
Right. They said hello, Paul and Eli, I send an email, I send you some pickles and mayo. So here you go. Hope you like them.
Love the show from Tomi. Orlys, Tomi. Tomi, whatever it is. Thank you very much.
They apologize for the handwriting. Never do that. It's fine. Did they write it in by letter?
Yeah. By hand. Yeah. We get letters.
Oh, well, let's have a look. It's a illustration as well. Yeah, there's some little drawings on there as well. Oh, right.
Sometimes I think we should record like a kind of no BBC room closet type thing. We can put all the drawings on the wall behind us. We should do that for the cheap shop videos maybe. Oh, that's a good idea.
In fact, if you listen to this, you want to send us an art, we'll post it in the background of our cheap shops videos. We'll put it into the room cupboard from CBBC. Right, Tomi. Eli, these are the crisps to tell about.
Pickle and mayo flavoured. This is gross. That's the point, isn't it? Well, pickle is fast becoming a popular flavour.
It's a mean pickle, like a pickle, don't you? No, like pickle like dill pickle, like pickle cucumber. Pickle cucumber. Like a curking.
Yeah, like a curking. It's like a very first time. Like a Polish gherkin or like an American gherkin. Like a gherkin.
I need to stop here. If we're going to discuss gherkins, any further, we need to delineate. There's two big families of gherkin, yeah? There's a sweet pickle.
Yes. And there's a salt pickle. No, no. You've got fucking school.
You've got your Cornish on. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.
I was trying to think of how I could get Brimful of Ash. Brimful of Brian. On the full day. Okay.
Brine. Brian. Brian. I'm Brian Pickles.
And Brian Pickles now. Go on. Basically. What we would call a cucumber in Brian.
That is salt. Salt. Yes. And that has the live cultures in.
Everyone goes on about the health about. Well, that is good for you. Yes. A pickle cucumber in, vinegar and sugar is also good for you.
But not in the same way that the live cultures. Is it a different thing? No, a gurkin is a type of cucumber. Oh.
Grown especially around Germany for pickling. Have you met Big Knobbly? It's a Knobbly sort of baby's arms. This fucking podcast name.
It looks like a German and my pet monster. Yeah. It looks like his nose. Oh, rough and bumpy.
You look like my pet monster as well. They put some purple handcuffs on you. It would be job done. They were orange.
They were orange. They were orange handcuffs. They were white bros. Right.
Have you ever seen the movie Bad Boys Eli? With Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. And don't forget dearly only. She's often forgotten about that.
It's not really only. There's a scene in Bad Boys where him and Tierly only, what are they doing? They're looking at footage or something. Right.
And he's eating a sandwich with a pickle on the side. He'll probably deal with his taste. And she's saying, arches, you're not bad, you're dying. Look at that.
You're eating all this shit. He's going, well, how about now? He gets his pickle and he dips it in his coat. He's washing off the salt.
He's like going, no, but he starts eating the pickle. Is that good? Is that better for me? Is that what you should do?
And all this time, I was thinking. How much salt is there in a pickle? Well, if it's a bit right. I wasn't aware that there was anything other than Sweet Pickles.
Sweet, Sweet Pickles. No, you get the briny ones, which are the real help that one's right. Now I'm aware of the brine stuff. Yeah.
Solves a 30-year-old mystery. I'm glad I was helpful there. No, you didn't. I worked set for myself a week.
Yeah, you did nothing. I'm glad I betted it. You didn't do it. I'm glad I didn't do it.
I was in your mind when you... You really didn't have any... I don't have popped in there two weeks ago. I hate to do this because I like you.
But it's kind of like you didn't have any impact on that whatsoever. It was all I was giving you some information. Yeah. Thank you.
Oh, you were well. No, thank you. You two fucking done. Do you want to eat these crisps?
Yeah, yeah. Right. So, what's the number you got? These are made by the original Taffle Snack.
Yeah, that's the brand. And it is a very large packet of crisps. When's the last time you came across the Taffle Snack? I've never seen them before.
No, I've never seen them before. I don't know where these come from. They're American. No.
They're not. What's the top right corner? What is that? It's a...