There's a sweetness in my mouth, as I say. Yeah, I'll just pull it out now. Go on, as you were saying. You've done it again, Paul.
Ten seconds in. I had something, I had something really good. Something worth. Go on, then do it, go on, little thing.
No, you've done it. No, everyone's just gonna be thinking of your dick now, aren't they? Many black nebulizer, phew, start again. Where am I?
Uh oh. No, no, no, no. Let's start, let's start again. I'm using it.
You can say right now, let's start again, clap, clap, and go. All right, but I'm using it. Let's go in it. He's doing his dick again.
I've got an itchy bulb right here. You've got an itchy bulb. My bulb. Yes, I've got an itchy right bulb.
Right bulb. Bulb. Like a garlic bulb. Yeah, bulb.
I've got an itchy bulb. Bulb. Anyway, go on, begin your beginning. Hello.
Begin the big queen. I'm Churdlinx and bulb. Is this actually the thing you're gonna do? Is what?
The thing you're doing now? I'm not doing nothing. You said, no. You like something planned.
I'm not gonna do that planned. Listen, what? At some point you'll learn something about me. Yeah, you'll learn one thing about me.
I'm a man of very different many modes, yeah? Different many modes, yeah. I could be doing nothing. I could be doing nothing.
You often are doing fucking nothing, aren't you? I'm doing zero. I could be doing less than nothing. Yeah.
As a different mode that I inhabit, yeah? I could be doing something just so slight, just so airy, just so ephemeral, just so throw away. That it's not gonna make any impact at all. Maybe I want to go.
Here we go. Theres a silverman, as he just dumped a load of fucking similar words in a sentence. If he gets to the point you want to fucking make. Perhaps I'm in one of my modes, Paul, where I'm not making any of your different many modes.
In one of my different many modes. I think that makes sense. Every many mode is different. I mean you have multiple modes.
Multiple many modes are multi-verse of modes. I've got a manhood. That's what needs cleaning, isn't it? That's what needs cleaning.
Clean out your manhood. Under the manhood. Get a little sk- like you know those people who get hooves off horses and they don't get a workout. What do they call the man who does the boog?
The horse. A horsesmith. No, they're- it's a smith, isn't it? It's a smith, it's a smith.
Blacksmith. Blacksmith. You have to get all the funky guns out of the hooves and get that big chlorine. Maybe you need that for the tip of your manhood.
Welcome to G show everyone. Press the fucking credit. Pass it for them. Sources and words of praises.
Who's cleaned? I was responsible for them. Chomp me. Chomp me.
Borrow. I hate you. I've got to lose the posse. Jeep Chomp to the mama night.
It's a shite. Jeep Chomp. Mama. It's a cheap show.
In the world of noises, what's one that you really like? I'll tell you what it is. It's... Pringles in a pipe.
Pringles in a pipe. Pringles in a pipe. It goes to Chomp Chomp. A creamer crumb cumb.
It's a pipe. That's right. On this game we are guessing how many Pringles with a pipe with Pringle. How many particular Pringles were in a pipe with Pringles tube?
Are we looking for a prime number of Pringles? How many particular Pringles in a pipe of Pringles pipe? Are we looking for a perpendicular number of Pringles tube? We've gone ahead of ourselves.
Welcome to the Cheap Show, the economy podcast where Eli Silverman and Paul Gannon and that same and I, me, go for the bargain with the charity shop and Powerlands, et al. We've written you up for the charity we can find amongst all that trash. And this week we're doing, I was going to get out of the way. We're going to do a price of shites, I said to him by a lovely listener, and we're doing some source report news.
But before we get into any of that, Eli has a pipe of Pringles. I've got a particular pipe of Pringles which I'll be popping and then I'll be sniffing. And then not stopping, I'd imagine, because once one pops, one can't stop. But I would say one is lying if one even implies that because I have on many occasions popped.
Fucking pops and stopped almost immediately. Have you ever stopped the mid-pop? You can't, it's like sneezing. Yeah, you can't hold the back of the pop.
Can you stop yourself coming when you've started? Well that's tantric meditation. That's what Sting does, isn't it? Yeah, well, he gets three thrusts in and goes to fucking twittles on his guitar at the corner for half an hour.
Twittles on his guitar, dribbles on his guitar more like with his stupid wet new castle fingers dribbling over the wire. What's the end down to you? I tell you what he's done to me. Sting once, stuck me into a fucking back alley and took 50p off me outside of school.
He's a fully grown man at the time as well. And I went, oh please, sir, Mr Sting. 50p is going to get me my dinner money and I'm going to get a sausage with it today. Anyway, oh, I'm not going to have Sting and I'm going to take your money and I'm going to put it into fields of gold.
And he ran off. Oh, God, I wish he didn't do that voice ever again. I love doing that for a lot of times. I don't get to do it.
I hate that voice. And now Sting's a new character on the show. You're going to be hearing a lot more from him. Oh, hello, I'm Sting.
Would you like to touch me, Willie? No. I'm not gonna pretend for you. Pin it off.
What's his name? I'm not your Bob Mortimer who is a fucking national treasure. He's not fucking listening to what he's going to do about it. Listen to the show, Bob.
And then fucking complain. Alright, till then, keep it strong now. Paul, you guys got pringles, let's get to the Pringles. No, I'm not getting to the Pringles.
That's all important. You use after your Pringles, shit. That thing, that improvisation that you did with Sting was very flat and lackluster, but it did conceal, like your sex life in it, bit flat and lackluster. No, no, there's I don't have you.
You can't even pop. You don't even get to pop yet. It's just all, stop with you. on the triple E stop.
Dribbly stop. So good. 95. So humor that you keep it's formative.
It's informative. It's informative part of my education. At least I've got an education in comedy. Mate, not just you.
Just box. Oh my God. I'm like such a dick today. You're being a dick.
I'm simply saying that lackluster sketch that everyone's now forgotten that you keep bringing it up so that he needs more to use it. You said I want I'm going to buy a sausage. That's what angered Sting because he's famously vegan. Thank you.
Moving on. So you're saying he took money off me because he didn't want me buying a sausage. He was like woo. Oh, I'm a genius.
You're fucking out. He's not that. He's barking again. Eli for ox, silverman.
Eli, mad dog, silverman. His body. Like. Oh, we can't.
We can't do that. We can't do that. We can't do that. Silverman.
Actually, you would suit a late night local American radio station. K.R.P.D. in Cincinnati. Well, they're very nice.
You wear a medallion and you have many, many crimes in your past. Now, these Pringles are, I tried to show Paul because I was proud of this. We're showing the French side where it says, Assasonné. Pringles, Assasonné.
Assasonné. People who have some French amongst you. It says, New Vale, Severe. I mean, I think that means new flamings.
What do you mean by it when people have some French amongst them? Do you mean like just like in the corner? No. I've got a bit of French over there.
People who speak a little bit of French might know French people. But I think it's more like French Canadians. As you'll soon agree, you're saying French Canadians aren't really French people? I think it's quite a complicated identity.
I think you shouldn't bring it up then, should you? I don't know why you keep jumping to these complicated identity things. Well, it's because I'm a complicated man. And I've got complicated feelings for a complicated woman with a complicated backstory in my complicated life.
I've got a complicated car and a complicated house. I've got a complicated penis. It won't come out of its whole. Any more on that song?
You have to beck it out by saying. Dickey, dickey, dickey, dickey, dickey, come out to play. Come out to play. Come out to play.
Come out to play. And then you come out to play. There we go. Dickey, dickey, come out to play.
Come out to play. Come out to play. Dickey, dickey, come out to play. And then, Dickey, dickey, comes out to play.
And how's the song going? Give it up. You've given up on life. I just wanted to make you do the Tiki Tiki bit.
That's it. I thought that was lackluster. Oh, I'll tell you what's lackluster, Paul. You're sex life.
You're manhood. Lacks lost her. That's because I haven't given it a good stop. You fucking did good.
It smells nice. Right. It's six minutes, mate. Do you know what that show you wears by SuperDry?
Also something you wouldn't say about the MyManhood. You'd say SuperFished. Oh, yes. You'd say SuperWaj of Spank.
Right. Superclunge. This is actually the worst episode of the time. You won't get on with the Pringle Cup.
You've been not been very nice to me. About anything. You've done a shit song. It's terrible.
Terrible. Sting-based in Pro. Not this time. I'm coming as Mad Dog.
No, I don't want this anymore. Come on. I just wanted to be over now. What did you do to my dog?
Here's my dog's silverman. I'm Mad Dog. I'm Mad Dog. I'm a guy in special Mad Dog Corner.
I love human shit, Paul. I love stamped it. Land on fire. Wow.
I'm the squirt. I'm a dog in the squirt. Hello, everybody. I'm the squirt mister.
I'm here also. You play me favey tunes. Now Paul, cast your mind back to a digitiser video we made. Yeah.
Where we were trying prison food. Is that where we tried those crisps that only are in the American prison? I believe so. They're only available to the prison population of the United States.
And they were sort of everything flavour crisps. Do you remember that? I do remember these and how much you like them. They were very good crisps.
And at that time, this flavour was brought up to me because in Canada, they have something called All Dressed. Yes. Which is every flavour. We have covered with the pocket.
I just thought I'd bring it up a few times. But yeah, as a reminder, yeah. You're saying you've segued into this. And this is the Pringles offering on that flavour profile.
And they have, I like this artwork on these Pringles. Do you remember the seven layer dip was the one we had? Yeah. It's a little bit of a little bit of a pop.
I've got a bit of gesspets today. You're bottom. Then there's a slice of onion. Yeah.
Then a Pringles itself. Of course. Then a... It's like a slice of bell pepper.
A little bit of bell pepper. You know what? I find very pleasing. Oh, it's the seeds.
That gives it away. Yes. About this illustration. It's the way the paraboloid nature of it.
That's right. The way that the pepper piece is in a figure of eight. Yeah. Also suggesting infinity.
Also suggesting all. All addressed. To see the meat. So it's sort of thematically cohesive.
And I like the cartoony way it's all sort of deformed. I'm going to give it a little glass bottle. So from that we can say there's... It's a pepper flavor.
There's an onion flavor. There's a vinegar flavor. There's all seasons, isn't it? Are these from Canada?
Well, absolutely of course they are. Well, they have French and English and they have a French and Asian flavor. It's a genuine question. I don't fucking know.
Do I? It could've been sold in France. I'm going to have a little look. You have a little look.
What I've got the USA it says. So I'm going to have a little... I've shuffled them as you can hear. And I'm going to sniff.
I can't remember this flavor profile. I'm getting a lot of vinegar on the nose. And that potatoiness. I'm going to have a little bit of fruit tea tomato tea last time.
I don't think... Have we tried it yet? Yes, we have tried actual all dressed crisps. They were delicious.
I'm also getting prawn cocktail now. Oh, you really? Yeah. I'm going to take a few.
Because remember there was definite prawn cocktail element in every type of all dressed thing. Yeah, true. Oh, I'm getting a smoky paprika as well now. You ready?
I'm going to go for a bite. Oh, gosh. It's disgusting. Well, I'm just massticated.
I enjoyed them. They were all right. You've got a smokiness, a sweetness and a stringent sort of vinegar as well. They're not as vinegary as they suggest in the scent.
Oh, no, no. It's not too strong either. It's kind of nicely balanced. It's not super flavorful.
Yeah, that's what I was going to say. That's what I found. I would like a bit more bite on all of the elements. Like we're on those crisps.
We tried originally. It's a little bit muted. All of the flavors. As much as I largely don't care for heavily tomato flavoured things, this could do with a little bit more ketchup.
It's there again at the very end. I've got a little bit of that tomato umami tomato with the... I'm getting mainly a sort of flat smokiness and then a sweetness. It's tomato always a pro...
I mean, have we just added that in our own accord, the tomato-y profile of everything flavoured crisps. Because there's no tomato on the front of that, so it doesn't suggest it needs to be there. No, it's not really there. I don't know that.
This is like when you go on about how sriracha tastes of tomato. But it does not. Yeah, no. But your brain almost goes red sauce tomato.
Yeah. It's not actually the flavour of tomato. No. Anyway, that's not bad.
No. Just to get out of the way, it's a little kind of all-crisp excitement. Three out of five. I'd say maybe 2.75.
Because I'm comparing it to the 7-layer dip one. Which was very good. That was better than that, wasn't it? Oh yeah.
Everyone's going to think we're f***ing sponsored by Pringles. And sadly, which not... I don't eat Pringles on the Reg. No.
I was going to buy a pack of crisps like I did. I just spotted some tomato ketchup flavoured and it's high tomato ketchup flavoured, branded, laze, walkers which I bought for myself. If you want a little peek into Eli's own crisps life, which is very much not lackluster. Or flaccid, like my sex life.
Well, non-existent. Just keep talking mate. Do my job for me. It's not your job.
It is my job. It's not my job. No, it's not. Well, I've made it my job.
But that's not one. It's one aspect. It's not my passport or occupation. You would love just to slurp up my dirty leavings from under my manhoods.
When I dried them out, I was scraping them on a pillow. Or a petri dish. Mate, if I just breathe in, holding off in your bedroom, I can get half of that muck in my mouth that I'm really asking for. You know what he did everyone?
When he finished Massa-Came, let off two little wet farts. Ew. Like a big goblin in his chair. Just come on.
You've ruined my life. Oh, Eli, look, stop. What? The Cheapshow album is the only ready, man.
The Cheapshow album? They're working on it for weeks and someone will argue years. The album, to celebrate 10 years of Cheapshow at episode 450, we're releasing a vinyl album called Cheapshow. It's just called Cheapshow.
It's been made with the amazing Noiseland, but not only that, there are going to be tracks from the history of Cheapshow. So some of your revision winners, some old themes, teeny-etty stuff, teeny-etty stuff. Full track listings probably next week when we announce it because we're uploading it to Diggers Factory and as soon as we do that, we can announce it, get the pre-sales going. But artworks fantastic by Voratoni.
We've got a then working on the Rhea art for it. I have seen a bit of that and it's very, very pleasing. So basically, what you want to tell everyone is getting on there as soon as they're on there. Let's make this a reality.
Yeah, because we want one. And also, email thecheapshowatgmail.com if you would like a mini-disc version. I'm going to do a very limited edition mini-disc version. I'm going to pay for myself.
You're doing very limited. Ten? I think I'm going to order ten. Okay.
And if you want one, get in touch. But, Cheapshow, the album, announcing soon, loads of great tracks. Meany, I have done a narrative almost for the middle of it with all linking devices. Music by Noiseland and some of our guests over the years.
It is genuinely fucking awesome and I can't wait. And will there be a download code in each physical copy? If you want to buy the vinyl album, but you do not have a vinyl player, it will come with a code to download the whole album. And if you do decide to get the album and get the download code, the digital version will have three bonus tracks on there as well.
So, we'll have three, two alternative takes, one that we just couldn't squeeze onto the album. Now, Paul, what do our listeners need to do if they want to get hold of a copy of this LP, record, physical record, cheap show? What do they do? Well, follow us on all the social medias.
At some point, you'll find us. We're on Instagram, we're on X, sadly still. We're on BSky, we're on Threads, on Facebook page. And our website will have an update with a link as well to it when it goes live.
So, okay. If you follow us on any of those platforms, we'll have a link to the album there. But we'll also mention it on next week's episode probably and give far more details then. Alright.
So, follow us somehow. If you listen to us, you don't follow us on social media. If you want to send us something to the PO Box, there is an image on our main page website. Why are you right?
Because I need to remember it. I'm the Cretan. You have closed your eyes from the middle of the page. Because you keep distracting me.
I'm not Cretan. You are a fucking stupid person. I'm not. Because you can hear me.
I remember things. But you can... no. Well, I close my eyes because you're such a fucking horrendous distraction.
Paul, look at you and get this information out. So, excuse me. Try again. You're the PO Box address can be found on our website on the main page and also in the description for this podcast or the app you're listening to it on.
Well done. Catch your eyes open. You can't look at me. You can't look in the eyes.
You can't look in the eyes. You can't look in the eyes. Look, he's just... he just can't stop himself in the pictures.
Fucking... Look at me. Fucking me. I'm a special boy.
Special boy. Everyone's ever told me so. So, it must be true. Wow.
What? What? What is wrong with you? You do me, Eddyn.
You cause a problem and then don't really let it be like trying to fix the problem. That itself is a distraction. What? You could have just calmed down for a second.
I'm angry now. You've got me right. Fucking worked up. You do this.
You get my heckles up. Fuck go. Get out. A little Pinikity prick.
Eddyn, is the word you're looking for. No prick is the word I was actually wanting to get out. What's wrong with you? You are the problem.
Calm down. You're doing my eddyn if you don't calm down. I'm not... See, you're acting hysterically right now.
You're not... You. Why are you laughing hysterically if you're not upset? Just sort of wrong with you, mate.
You need to calm it down. Paul, you are having a little... I'm not interrupting you. I'm not interrupting you.
If you can't keep your voice level, mate, then we can't have this discussion. What discussion? You... Read a letter.
I won't read this letter until you calm the problem. I know that from the song. This is the letter. Oh, dear listeners, Paul, they love to send in boxes full of stuff that we lost the price off.
They love to send stuff in. They love to. Shh. Stop.
Please, tell them. Ah, dear Paul and do you like? Hello. Please find in close the following items for a price of shine.
Nice. I like the clarity of the stuff. And there's the list of five items. Prices are in the pinbox.
Do you know what that's referring to? It says pill. But it says pill box. And it's sealed in tape so I can't go into it.
Oh, that's nice. Nice. So there won't be any shenanigans unless Paul is hired to have a sophisticated x-ray device. I'm going to put this in the moor of Pac-Man's mouth.
Again, the moor is the mouth, so that was a tautology. But I'll let it life in. I'll give you a tautology. I'll give you a talk talk.
Rod of hology. I'll give you a short off the rod modily. I'll give you the cod modily. I'll fucking play with your bamos.
I'll give you the claps of the English language. It's deafening. Come on. Right.
Also enclosed. A gift pin badge for each of you. Yes. That's very nice.
You want to get them out of butter? I'll put you in. You have a little mused bouche of pin badgering. There's only one each.
I'll give you your one first. I'll give you a big creamy mess out of it. It looks like a little ghost in an ice cream sundae type, maybe isolate effect. Oh, that's cool.
See what I mean? A little coffee cup. I don't know if it's like a lardate, isolate thing. It looks like some kind of frappuccino.
It's got a straw in. It has tadpole shaped little ghosties. A ghosties in. All swimming about.
I like that a lot. That is a nice little badge. If you want to see what these badges look like, the cheaps look, you'll want to stop shopping. I'm going to stick mine on right now.
You might like it. I'll be honest. I like this badge. I do love it.
We'll get a little bit of this. I'll give it to you. Here we go. It's a nice paper and tissue paper here.
I'm going to unwrap my badge. This one's going on the megaboard at a later point to the. Ooh. National Theatre.
Ooh, I like this. Very nice. Thank you very much. It's like what the actual badge looks like.
What it says. It is a view of, in monochrome, black and white, a view of the National Theatre, Dennis Lasdins, National Theatre on the South Bank in London, and the word brutal underneath. But it has a card which has a national theatre on it. It's on card.
It has been on card. And it has a little blurb on the back pole. Okay. No, please, please make.
The National Theatre's mission is to make theatre for everyone. If I'm making a purchase. If I'm making a purchase, you can afford a ticket. You know what I mean?
Well, they're not that bad. It depends on what you decide to go with. There are ways of getting it all right. Okay.
By making a purchase in the National Theatre bookshop, you help us to deliver this mission. Thank you for your support. Okay. Thank you.
I do like this badge a lot and I'm going to put it on now. Yeah, lovely badge. Anyway, carry on with the letter. Actually, this is probably my first ever Brutalism theme badge.
No. That's not true. That can't be true. You don't get a lot.
I'm not a feeling that you've been sent to Brutalism before and you'll have it up on some board somewhere in your room. I don't think so. You know why, Paul? Because if you think about it, by its very nature, the style of Brutalism is quite hard to portray in a badge because it's about solidity and abstraction, which doesn't work that well on a pin badge.
Something that's more ornamental or figurative, designing works better on a pad. I just always thought you'd had a pin badge before for something Brutalism. I do like this design though. It's nice.
Thank you very much. Back to the letter. Finish it off quickly, sweet can. Okay.
Also, some sweet three line yourself, Paul. It's a big bag of decolaboles. Ooh. Sweet.
Who made them? Who made them? Oh, those are the ones that are like thick, chunky. Oh, those look great.
These are old school sweet shop ones. Yeah, old school almost like the creamy, creamy colaboles. They're not opaque rather than transparent. Yeah.
With a milky tip at the end. I've got a milky tip. No, these are those beer bottle things. You can smell it.
Smell there's a certain sort of beer-y sound in it. It's a strong beer-y sound in it. Let's have a little sniff. Oh, god.
It smells like feet. It smells like it's been a great. I hope they're not off. Those are like beer bottles.
Sweet fear. Let's just break this down. It's a bag of mystery sweets that smells off by a stranger. I don't know.
I will try one. I'll try one, but maybe not by now, because that fucking is like my dad's feet. It's because they have those beer ones. That's what my view is.
Anyway, go on. They shouldn't really go off anyway. Anyway, go on. They just dry out.
There's four prices of shite. Here we go. No more than five pound, but could be less. Oh, okay.
That's a silly. Yeah. I'm actually going to have a little idea of what's the come. That's a really good deal.
Only one item is one pound. So we can't bit to play. That's exactly the end of the sentence there, Paul. So well done.
If you're giving us this PO box selection, an Eli, please turn over. That's a sort of to read because I'll cut that out because it's like no, it's not Paul. This isn't an important part of the letter. I'm going to cut that out anyway.
Just come on. In regards to the name of dried noodles, I really think it depends on the shape. Are you a putt for the round ones, deck for the more? This is a good thing that is helping to- I don't want you to read this bit.
You wanker. Don't want you to read this bit. If because it's making peace between us, I'm getting us to agree on things. Read on and tell- I'll tell you why I didn't want this to go any further.
Putt for round ones, deck for more square ones. I think that's a good compromise. All right. Keep reading your phone.
However, we now call them Eli's in Get Out the Eli of Noodles. That's nice. They've given your name a nom-loot-cuc-a-chur to a load of fried noodles. Yes, you are.
I am happy. I'm beaming. I'm happy. At any point during this recording so far, Paul, you try to fucking- you try to curtail that.
I'm sick of this. You fucking broke Eli noodle agenda. Now, should I be the scorekeeper, the writer down of the guesses? Yes, you're going to be charged your points.
I'll whip out the items, so let's get this on. It is time to play the price of shite. Okay, the scorecard is prepared, Paul. Let's get some items out.
Let's make some guesses. Hey. The price is to those items, mate. Well, here's what happens.
What happens when I propose a price to you? Why? You'll write it down and in the reveal, there'll be swings offered. And the swings are what we like to call on cheap show our points.
They are points in this game only. We love our Patwings on cheap show. I love a Patwings. And we're fighting for Patwings every week.
Now, we both don't know the scores, so we can both play. However, here's how the scoring goes. How do you score Patwings in this game? Well, if you get it spot on, if you are accurate, then you will get two Patwings.
Two Patwings for spot on the price. If you say two pound 50, that's exactly two pound 50. Why you'll get two Patwings. What am I saying?
It's two pounds and three pence. And it's two pounds and three pence, Paul. Here's the thing. If you guess, and your guess is 25p, either way, the actual price.
For example, let's just say to pound and you guess 75p or one pound 25. Exactly. In the margin between those two. What margin would that be?
Between 75p and one pound 25. It's over 50p, calculus. Either way. If you're correct, 25p either way, the actual price.
You will get one between one. One between that. I can't believe you've had a new way to fuck that scoring up. I just know you weren't conceptually very early.
Oh, Faye. I'm being a bit baggy with it. You'll be baggy with it. 25p, either way, the actual price is what you will do to get a between.
When I say if it's two pounds and three pence and you guess two pounds. If you guess two thousand pound, you're not getting any between. That's too much. You guess two thousand?
No, you're saying two thousand? You're wrong if you guess two thousand three. Then you get two between. You should be on the nose.