EP 44: If They Wanted To, They Would… But Let’s Go Deeper

from Beyond You with Samantha S LPC · host Moving Beyond You LLC

That phrase has been everywhere, “If they wanted to, they would." And yes, it has truth in it. But can we talk about how this oversimplified dating advice is missing some major pieces?In this nuanced conversation, I'm breaking down what happens when someone does want to show up for you but doesn't know how. When trauma responses are louder than intentions. When there's a gap between what they feel and what they can actually express.In this episode, you'll discover:The truth AND the limitations of popular dating adviceHow emotional capacity fluctuates and affects relationshipsWhy trauma responses can make "wanting to" and "being able to" two different thingsThe difference between communication gaps and genuine disinterestWhen to apply the phrase vs. when to dig deeperHow to have conversations that get to the root of what's actually happeningThis episode is for you if:You've written someone off using this phrase but wonder if you missed somethingYou're tired of oversimplified relationship advice that ignores human complexityYou want to distinguish between someone who won't show up vs. someone who's struggling to learn howYou're navigating your own healing while trying to build healthy connectionsYou need tools for deeper conversations beyond surface-level assumptionsReal relationships require more nuance than a motivational quote. Sometimes people disappoint you no matter what. Sometimes they surprise you with growth when you create space for honest conversation.Your job is to stay connected to your needs while holding space for the beautiful complexity of human experience.🎧Tune in now!New journal: "I Miss Me: A Journal for the Version of You You've Been Neglecting" 💌 Ready to stop shrinking and start healing for real? Get on the VIP list for weekly content you can actually use: [bit.ly/fthjournal]Curious if you're truly ready for love? Chat with our GPT and find out! Connect with me:Youtube channel:⁠ ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@movingbeyondyou⁠⁠Instagram:⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/iamsamantha.a/⁠⁠Tiktok:⁠ ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@movingbeyondyou⁠⁠Substack: ⁠https://substack.com/@movingbeyondyou⁠#DatingAdvice #RelationshipNuance #EmotionalCapacity #TraumaInformed #CommunicationSkills #HealthyRelationships #HumanComplexity #emotionalincompatibility

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This episode is 20 minutes long.

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This episode was published on September 24, 2025.

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