Eli and son, Eli and son, they were getting to Eli and son. Eli and son, Eli and son, welcome to the Eli and son show. Are you doing... Oh, Poppa, Eli!
Tell us a story from the old country. Poppa, Eli! One day I came home from work, son. Yes, Poppa, Eli, tell us a story.
I came home from work. I looked in the living room. Yeah. It's a poo.
And then I went squishy squish. Oh, Poppa, Eli! That's not one of your best stories, is it? Well, it wasn't one of your best fucking openings, mate.
Oh, he's an opening. And also, you know, Matthew and son is by... Eli and son. Who did that song?
I don't care. Who it was? Kat Stevens. Kat Stevens.
You know what his reputation is now? No, extremely handy, verging on Touchy Nudgy Bagbab. Yes. Oh, he was a proper cocksmith.
Was he? So you don't want to bring him up, mate, which one of your voice does? I didn't know the relation did like to hear the song at him. Matthew once under...
No, he didn't know the song yet. No, he didn't know the song yet. No, he also did. It's not time to make change.
I know you're using it. See, my version. I'll tell you this. Let me say this.
My favourite version of it is the boy's over. But for all the wrong reasons. It's because it's so fucking awful. It's because of their accent mangled the song.
Yes, not quite. I would've been quite proud. Take it to you, dear. Yes, dear.
That is in the club style there from you. You know what I mean? Anyway... You know what?
I was listening to The Beatles. Well done, you. What was that like? What are they like?
You know the song, you know in my name. Look at the number. Yeah. Which is a comedy.
Weird. Comedy is so riffed. Very style. At one point, Johnny's blatantly doing what multiple people is doing.
Vic Reeves'... Oh, yeah, Pub-Song style. Yeah, no, it's all about the thing with clubs. Yeah, because it was such a working man's club for buying.
It's a thing, isn't it? Yeah. I know Vic Reeves can popularise the comedy aspect. And you also took it to an absurd level.
Yeah. What are my favourite things growing up in the 90s? Was they released BBC panel shows as book and CDs, right? So you get a book full of questions and a CD that went along with the book.
And there was a... Never mind the book's cocks one. And there was a shooting stars one. And the shooting stars one was a CD of nothing.
Nothing but Vic Reeves' new Pub-Songs. And you know what? What a fucking gift that CD is. Have you still got it?
Yeah, I think you can watch on YouTube to Fair Valley. But it's like him doing Earth Song. What? Mark Higgins!
Like that, basically. It's great. I can't recommend it enough. Anyway, this is the Cheapshow Cold Open.
And boy, how have we got a show for you? So, yeah, do we get into it? Do we have a show for them? Do we have a lovely show for them today?
Do we? Do we? Do we do. I think it's on her.
But Paul. What? Pop-a-e-lie. We have a store.
I'll do the pop-a-e-lie thing again. I'll do it better. Oh, pop-a-e-lie. It's true.
He's pretending you're at home and you wait for a pop-a-e-lie to come back, yeah? Wind's blowing. Oh! Where is pop-a-e-lie?
He... Oh, where's Dad, a pop-a-e-lie? I need him. Oh, pop-a-e-lie.
Hello, son. Where have you been? I've been at work. Oh, pop-a-e-lie.
Tell us a story from the old country. Let me just get these boots off. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, my blisters are burning. Oh, pop-a-e-lie. Sorry, I just had to let that one go. Oh, dear.
What were you saying? No, but I could smell the old country now. Oh, country. Leave it.
Let's leave it there, shall we? I don't know. I like that. What are you doing?
That's the grisly shit. You're falling. I can smell the old country. Well, at least someone's amused.
Oh, no. Oh, no, this is gone back. We've progressed. Don't you told me the other day you regret farting on the part?
I don't, but no one heard that one. It was just for me. I know about it now. The warmth.
The warmth of the warmth of the world. The warmth, yeah. It wept in weaved. I'm going to go to my bottle.
Yeah. Welcome to the cheap show. Press the fucking credit. I'm going to go.
Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. The cheap show.
It's sources and words of prejudice. Who's picked I responsible for? Joplin Bora. I hate you.
You're a fucking loser, Pussy. Cheap show to the other night. It's a cheap show. It's cheap show time.
That's right, everybody. I'm Eli Silverman. And I am Paul Ganon. I wasn't ready for that, sorry.
And this is the Economy Comedy Podcast for your ears that we go through bargain bins and basements, stuff like that, find what we call what we define as. What we term the treasure amongst the trash. The trash of Britain. The trash of abroad.
The trash of the international community. Trash. Yeah. Well, I say trash.
No, that's an American thing, isn't it? Yeah, but it works with treasure. We should think of a more British one. Rubbish is the word, isn't it?
Americans don't understand rubbish. Yes. They don't understand the word rubbish. Well, trash, it's just a synonym.
They use trash instead, don't they? And do you think those two words are fighting an evolutionary battle to become the top one? I think trash is going to win. Because rubbish is too kind of rubbery a word to say.
Rubbish is difficult, especially for people with a bit of a speech impediment around the R sound. Such as my good self. Yes, you do have a slightly useless fumble. We're not going to have that.
I'm just saying you this. I'm fine with that. I've got a bit of a list. Sorry, everyone.
He's a little bit country. He had a bit of a rock and roll. Anyway, I worked with Chief. I was trying to think of what he's owned out for a little bit there.
He's trying to find a word to rhyme with pennies. I couldn't think of a word to rhyme with pennies. Jennies. Jennies isn't a good idea.
That's not great, is it? Jennies. I was trying to think of a... I was trying to think of a 20s.
As in 20s. 20s. I guess. I'm thinking of a phrase.
I'm thinking of a bit of a podcast that saves your pennies. But then the nennies. You don't mean it's that kind of thing. We help you save your pennies.
And remember where your pen is. Yeah, but that's... I'm not a workshoping. I'm not throwing a lot of shit against the wall.
That's true. You get a dirty protest. I would argue I would say we've thrown 454 or 5 episodes of Shit Against the Wall. It's all runny.
It's all runny. I'm out of it. I'm spanking it off. I'm a good bitch coming down at the bottom of your rectal bar.
Have you ever gone to the Lou Offers? Someone who's left a bit of poo on the toilet and used your pistol wipe their poo off and felt really weird about it? No. Very specific.
I've got that out. Then you're like, I'll just clean that off with my piss, but it's someone else's poo. Then you feel like, why am I cleaning the poo off with my wig? You've done it.
You've done it. You've suppressed it. I have that. I agree with you.
What I do not agree with is you thumbing your penis and tell me the story. You were doing this. I was just scratching your son in. So why are you the hand monitor?
You need a fucking ruler to whack my hand when it fucking goes below my waist. I just want to say to all listeners, no. I was not fuming my knob. It looked like it, though.
I was just getting into the vibe of what I was doing. I know what I was doing now. Yes, I was doing the mind of holding my penis. I was just getting into a hose.
I cleaned up a piece of pebble. They call it the pebble splasher. The pebble hose is apparently the phrases. It's a redneck power shower.
When you piss on someone else's trying to drop in on the toilet. Oh, is it from the ear? I believe so. A redneck power shower, everyone.
We're going to give you a redneck power hour of consent. Yes, because what we've got coming up is we've got a price of shine and a trip. After many months away to the snack palace. The snack palace.
If we can indict, no, induct. Induct some snacks back into the hallowables of that palace. Hopefully they won't talk about the mind. We've been legally told to not talk about the mind.
If we don't want to pay that fine, we don't talk about the mind. That's what the lawyer said. I forgot to mention this. Oh, hello, boys.
I've told you. Hey, you don't mind if we just come in and do a few measurements. Do you guys? We're just looking around soon.
When you think the TV's going to go? Jimmy, we're going to have TV's in every room. Can you two please fuck off? If you look at the corner there, that's perfect.
Quite short, Jimmy. No, fuck off. Stop. What?
What are you like? I need to talk about this. What's going on? Hi, Jimmy.
Hey, everybody. How you doing? Jimmy, are you like it? I remember you like it.
We're just making some measurements. Carry on with the raccon, we're just going to carry on. Just look at the few details. No, just stop this.
It's 450. I've got all the fucking characters up in my attic living there. Why? Even Tina.
And came down for a shower the other day. They're all up there. I don't think Tina would be able to deal with the lack of luxury. I'm not in touch.
They don't have much of their choice. They have no way to go to the organ into my attic. It's not appropriate. Sorry.
But why are they talking about them here? I don't know. What are we going to do? It's all the rage now.
I mean, I've had a low point, but I've come up with a new project. Oh, man. watch people making content online. Well you can't do that here though.
This is where my, this is where I live here. We record the episode here in my pond. It's going to be a content house. All this stuff.
Don't do that. I can't do it. No. No.
You think, you think, you're me? I think this is going to make us a star. Think about it. All the characters sitting there, sitting cameras all over the place, looking into the scenes, darkest moments.
And don't forget their moments of humanity and joy. Absolutely. Animals. They love animals.
Let's get some weevils off. They're getting stolks. They've stolks. They've got a little about it.
They've got a little about it. A little about it. It's a treasure. We can have it live.
People love that. I haven't said it in a while. Can we step outside the podcast for a minute? OK.
Come on. What? This can't go on. I refuse to share.
I've seen these guys around. They just can't be in my house. It's great to have the energy of Brando. There's like plenty of the fuckers up there.
Oh, what? Every single shit character you ever churned out is up there right now. Now luckily they sleep joy in the day. Each man.
Each man. He turns to the end. He's a queen puffer. Puts stopper.
They're all there up there. They're all fucking up there. They're all sleeping right now because they're all just a vampire. They're all like, oh, no.
I put a lock on that fucking padlock in the attic so they can't come out at night. They must be solving today. I don't give a fuck. Look, it looks like Brando.
He's using a screwdriver on some of your... He's taking the shelving down. I don't know why he's taking the shelving. He's not for him to say.
He's to get equipment in. He's building a content house. He's putting it in the living room into a fucking studio. Well, what's the solution for?
What do you want me to say? No, but they have got stuff on with these guys. Can't they live with you? These are live within your other room, did they?
They're back in the day. Private room. Okay. Cunt.
Right, YouTube. Out. Out. Go in the garden for a bit.
You can't be any, we'll record the podcast. Right. Put those shelves back. You just have to put a monitor.
I'll come out now, Pops. That'd be the baby. I've got to try and change your life. It's going to be a big baby about this.
Come on, Jimmy. I've got some phone calls to make. And also, I know just with some squirrels or something. There's a tree in the back tree.
I'll fucking knock their bladders into my mouth. Oh, we could. We could do that. Squirrel milking is on the raging there.
I landed the moment. There needs to be a stoke. Stroke Martin. We could do that whole bit of a sexy pet an zoo in the back garden where people can come and pet and fuck the animals.
Oh, well, well, well, well, well, well. Anyway, let's just start with that. They start with the thing, and then they buy them a drink or two, something like that. And then they settle down and then we take the goat.
Just to go, for example, into the shed. I don't even think you could take on a goat, Jimmy. We give them seven minutes of pleasure in the shed. Go to eat everything.
Yeah, baby. All right, we're going to go now, then. Guys, please. We're going now.
We're going to go in the garden. Look at the pet an zoo. Lock the door, Paul. Let me just put the electronic code on.
There you go. We've got to get them out. This is not going to work. They've got a crazy man of energy.
They really want to make a content house here. Well, they're not doing it here. Well, don't give a fuck. You've still got the rest locked in your house.
It's going to work. How are we going to get them out? It's not been working for the past. I don't know what five weeks.
They're just kind of listing some shit up there. Well, all our characters are fucking incontinent in one way or another. Anyway, every night at 2am, roll out the fucking barrel. Lady Plops on the Yikubun Tempe.
Oh, ridiculous. Terrible. Well, she does. She's got a talented singer.
Oh, she's, you know what? We never really got into that. Anyway, how are we ending this scene? This will do.
Let's get on with the show. I'm just waiting Eli. Yeah. I'm waiting for the old boss to take us, you know, where to?
The snack palace. The old snack palace. There we go. Should be running along very soon because I've looked at the timetable.
That's the death of the button noise of basemakes. Here it comes. All aboard to the snack palace. Two, please.
Ding ding. And off we go. Oh, there's a scene to read that. Jingle jingle.
It goes along. It's the old pie factory in there. They put a lot of landscaping on the drive here. On the drive up there.
They must have fucking money somewhere. The people behind this. I don't know. I think I have the brand off thing.
I don't want to get involved in that. Isn't it the mines? I thought it was the mines where the town... Talk about the house.
Since the collapse we can't talk about those mines. Well, do you know how many people lost their lives? Not only in the accident, but in the rescue for that. Well, they must have used the money.
Look at these palm trees. There's a palm tree in a golden, like a golden urn thing. Oh, that's a strange thing to point out. But yes, they do have a massive palm tree in it.
It seems like a palm tree in it. I'm just trying to build a picture. Thank you. Thank you, driver.
Can I ask you? Driver. Yep. Who pays your wage?
Are you paid in, like, flannels? Do you get towels? No, rightly, no, what do you mean, sir? Oh, fine.
Thank you, sir. Thank you, John Joe. Thank you, John Joe. It's not my name, sir.
Why does it say John Joe on a little label on your thing, then? I'm not at liberty to tell you, sir. Weirdo. Come on, Paul.
Thank you. Would you like to see my collection of dogs? Oh, fuck, sorry. Paul.
Paul. I'd like to see your collection of dogs. John, John, John, John, John, John, John. No, I raise them for the police.
I'm not going to get a good sniffer dogs. That's what they are, sir. They're sniffer dogs. Oh, you raise sniffer dogs.
How would you show me your collection, then? I have a selection of... In the bus, used... Used dogs.
Used sniffer dogs. They've had their life in the police station, sir, and they come and retire, and they live with me and I give them a happy home. I bet you do. I bet you do.
Right. That's it, sir. Nothing in the fair, yes. All right.
Take care. Thank you. Oh, fuck. What's that?
You said he fucked in Paul. No, I didn't. I didn't. John, John, John, fuck off.
Worst car at all times. Ding ding ding ding my arse. Right, I'd like to. Right.
We have to... We have to... This is where we put snacks if they pass... Explain the segment because that is going to be confusing.
Do you know what? The whole snack segment law doesn't work. Does it? It's never needed to work.
Well, here we are at the snack palace. It's a mighty mansion on a golden hill. Yes. And the snacks that we'll be trying to date, Paul, if they pass muster, they can be resident in the snack palace.
It's gained entrance to the hallow halls of the snack palace. Only the best Christmas snacks. Only the best. And the others...
They used to get said to all the work states. There's a huge theme of natural towels that runs beneath this part of the lounge. We've been trying to mine for a while for a while, Birdling hotel... It's making it more confusing for everyone.
I'm going to make a full confusing.... Anyone? Anyone? Do you want to hear?
Anyway. The upshot is... We're going to take some credits. I know, but here's the thing.
Now, we don't have to work the mines because I've realised... You can towel-frack. You just put a lot of pressure into the ground and then... Yeah, and then towels come to the surface.
It just pop up. It does cause landslides and destruction to property. And all the water supply's been showing itself. And infrastructure, sewage, piping.
But we do get some towels. You know, so I'm just saying. So I'm just saying we carry on with the fracking Oh good, yes, that's for tell me. Unless I get the input.
You get the input. If I get the input, I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't even know.
I don't even know. Just stop telling me about it. Third parties. You know?
I don't even listen. All right. Fracking is, you know, the destructive thing that they do to the ground to get more energy out of this pressure so that we live on without any sense. What crisps are we arguing to me then?
I think it should be an option. They're crispy. You think it comes on the next boss. We do it for some reason.
We do it on the driveway. This bit. Oh, here comes one now. Thank God it's a different driver.
I can see that it's a different driver. Oh, hello. Hello. Hello.
My name's Babby Mopbop. Oh, Babby. Is there some crisps for us to see? I've got two little whippers that busy.
I couldn't talk about. Bring them out in the back of the bus. Do you act stolts? It's just like, I've got storps.
He's trained stolts, sir, and you're fucking yeah. No. I don't know why. No, I don't know why.
No, I don't. No, I don't know if they're like that. It's just, it's just, they can't keep their hands off me. I don't know what it is.
I'm very, very attractive. I've asked me whether I like them. I thought I'd write it together and hang out. You want to hang out with me?
You just met me. I've heard your podcast. You sound like a podcast. I want to keep your blog as well.
Oh, is it? That's good. Yeah, I was just wondering, yeah, we'd like to hang out with me and my stolts. Yeah, sure.
You drinks. Maybe you want to move either. I do this segment of the podcast. Right.
Right. Yeah. You've heard of the segment. The old Mac Palace.
Yeah, you've taken on the roof. Okay, let's go. I'll let these go. I'll let these go.
I'll let these go. I'll let these go. I'm not happy with myself. I don't know if you should do something in the edit with that.
Anyway, go. Right. Thanks for listening, everyone. We've got two snacks in.
Hey, I'm not going to personify the snacks. That's what we used to do. We'll do it in a minute. Otherwise, we'll be doing this for a bit forever.
Sorry, I'm sorry the driver was different. We should have gone with John Joe. I think John Joe would have been a better choice. Yeah.
You know, we used to have with John Joe. So I went to Morris until the day and McCoy's now have a deal with the NFL, the old National Football League of America. These are limited edition of the Cory's. Because I guess NFL is now a big thing in the UK.
A lot more people watch it. And didn't they have the Super Bowl here? The actual final plate here? Yeah.
They did a few years ago. I didn't know. There was a chance to win a trip to the Super Bowl with these crisps because there's two flavors. What is secret burger sauce flavor?
A rich cut potato crisps. That's sort of implying what McDonald's sauce, big Mac sauce, isn't it? Oh, yeah. I thought about that.
That is what they're suggesting. Yeah. And the second flavor is blazing Buffalo chicken wings flavor. And that's it.
They're the two flavors now. Okay. Now I like Buffalo wing flavor things because you have those hers cheese curls blue cheese Buffalo wing blue cheese. And when I do pretzel pieces, Buffalo wing flavor, Buffalo wing flavor is the best of those.
Wouldn't you agree? No, I don't wish to be contagious on any of those matters. You know what? I'm surprised Tarky's haven't come out with a Buffalo, well now you put it to the university.
You spoke of the word. Come on. You made Orange Crab happen. I'm still waiting for the Blu-Ras Molokuna movie.
I mean, let's just see. Anyway, see. Yeah. So I've got high hopes this one I'm saying.
All right. I tend to love things. And you know what? Buffalo, the actual Buffalo wings as well.
It's that combo of cheese and sour. Heat. Yeah. So you've got the tart and then chili.
And that's it, basically. Now for this closure, I got these a week or two ago and he's been at and in one of those arms, starving a car, I opened the bag of these to try and then a bag of each and then we basically just came to most of these bags. Now, there's a lot more of one of the other and we'll maybe discover why that is the case later. For now, I reckon we start with, actually, let's start with the secret burger sauce flavor.
Okay. All right. Come forward. Hey, and the burger sauce.
Oh, hello. Hey, I've got the coffee's burger sauce and I'm here today. Tell us, uh, what, why have you, why have you decided to try and get into the snack palace today? Well, I might be a miracle and I like to put my wiggle back.
Sorry, it's hard to make out what you're saying. So fucking, I thought I might be a miracle and I like to make sure I get what I want. Okay. And any sort of anything we should have.
I like to live in a life of rocks. It's just to be biscuit with a fucking wiggle with a weird. It's like an ancient Jimmy Piscuit after he's put on 300 pounds or something. I'd want, I'd want.
Anyway. I just want the coffee. You're winning, you're winning me over. I just want the coffee with me, brother.
Why is the burger sauce secret? You don't want to go. I don't want to go. I don't want to know.
No, I don't want to know. Okay. Well yeah, I want to do a little painting now. He's a little tiny, a little multi-pack thing that I got.
Yeah, so. You think they're only available in multi-pack. I haven't seen them before. Yeah, you see it's all these funny things.
You know, what this reminds me of is sports time because walkers do it every year, but it seems with the World Cup all the world cup. Yeah, you know you never get like golf sucks. No, but you never get like all Pringles with a US Open and then blah, blah, blah. No.
Because the type of people who eat crisps, golfers on a crisp people. I think I don't identify crisp eating with golfers. They're more than moose, folks, aren't they? They don't have a nice bowl of moose or like a turkey moose.
The turkey moose. Like a little bit like an aeron, I mean a fine, but where would that is, but it's a bit like when you said honey tea. It's like it's weird to fight things to say. It's weird.
It's not weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird.
It's weird to prove. I just know you two now. I know you two now. Give it a huff.
It's the old jot on the huff. Here we go. Just. And do these open like normal packets of Chris?
You two? By pulling apart this. I'm imagining that. Yes, amazing.
He's having a stuff off the burger, sort of stuff. Now, I shouldn't be surprised that the main odor coming off is gherkin. Yes, no, I was going to say that. It's a good, good, good, good, good.
Style gherkin. See, when I, I guess I've had this already. So no surprise here, but yeah, it just fell under generic burger flavor thing. I'm looking at one of these.
They're nice and rich obviously because of course and they've got little speckles on. Nice speckles and a little orange hue. So I don't know if that's the speckles being representing them. The little chance of gherkin that you get in.
Right. He's put a few in his gob and I'm now going to edit this part out. He is masturbating and he is almost ready for his report on the flavor of that. 4.3 really already.
I like that a lot. Okay. I'm not going to lie. I thought you might not like that.
Weird because when I had it, here's my issue and I'm going to be open because I've had both of these already. I just think when I had the other one first and then those, those paled in comparison. I mean, I might still like the other ones more, but honestly I really like that. It's a very strong flavor of dill.
Yes. It's more gherkin for than you think. Much more, but it is also a sourness. Yeah.