Right you like give us an introduction to this brand new episode of the podcast for me known it as it is still known as Yeah, right for me though It's your clickables and now currently known as the world trending super hot podcast. We all know in love the one who's doing I'm I doing the intro. I think it's your little pre intro to the intro. It's my little cold open Oh, it's called in the back in in the business back in now in the biz darling.
You really then I've been working on this Go on ladies and young I'm so excited to introduce to you. No, I'm just gonna So I'm so excited introduce to you the world of an answer an introduction my stroke actor legend sex beast Boschins star actor in the command Writer and director. No, he's didn't direct that writer and actor of award-winning claim award-winning it might do in the future And this is all pressing this is not the intro cool. This is just ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the podcast for the first time Eli Silverman with his introduction to the brand new episode of cheap show hit it Just calm down now look at me all right Everybody it's cheap show again.
It's a not a new episode. I'm Eli Silverman and here is your co-host today It's for good and everybody Well, that was unnecessarily loud and will be an awful editor in the edit but hello welcome to cheap show This is episode brand new episode. It's 45 It might not be because I had to put your plus few of sites all together so episode 39 end up being episode 44 Okay, it's episode somewhere in the 40s. Just a moment on the episode is if you're a newcomer We want you to feel like you don't have to have heard the previous four two episodes of what iTunes are calling you and noteworthy You know also we were in the top 50 day briefly of comedy podcast in every bit I'm just saying by time the other people listed this that might we might have dipped up But in at time of recording in the UK on the iTunes charts We were in the top 50 of comedy podcasts very exciting.
So we've got another great episode for you and have we apparently you've got it all written down there In me little book of cheap thoughts. What's the first thing on the bill of fair? We need to also say right now. Thank you to everyone who's given us money on patreon We didn't know what kind of response we were gonna get and the response we've had is fantastic.
So everyone who's supporting us Thank you. Thank you very much everyone. Thank you. I would like to come around a nozzle.
Mm. Perhaps to oh, that's good. That's good noise I'm glad we tell you to be quiet. And what's he doing?
What's he doing? He's doing something with something and something else. He's literally like percussion or something sorry back to the sexy thoughts in a second or I'm saying is we are once again in the House of Pickles using the Lovable but sometimes not particularly good yeti microphone hello, so we're using that house of pickles It is one of the hottest days of the year and me and Eli are in We are in Eli's flat in a hot sweaty House of Pickles on a hot day I need to emphasize the word hot quite a lot and so yeah, it was the boiler is it the boiler boiler? This is what life is like in the house.
You know people say cheap show This is how cheap it is. So you guys in a hot room on a Saturday sweating. It's fried over a table Is it right? I feel like Saturday does can I just keep my sex talk?
I keep the boys that are in the house of pickles again, and it's another hot day I'd like to come around a nozzle you it's get a bit of warm up make for you straight in there with it if you give on patreon If that If that you say it you bet no it's a vet if you pay on patreon It I said it was a vet a bit feeling from most of our time No, not her feeling if you are listening and I know you do love because you retweeted that tweet once I'll tell you this I was like tweeting most wanted playing my horse most wanted finger Yeah, it's a great degree and you can play along with me on Twitter You watch most of the cross off all the things that like you to happen like if it has a nervous breakdown Definitely I tweeted because she goes in there's one part within the dark and I said oh get off Who was that who touched me and I tweeted something to the effect of those are the exact same words that users in bed with a husband? Oh, ha ha ha ha ha she retreated that Okay, obviously a game bird. I shouldn't say that legally. I think you can okay Also, can I just say I come around there?
Oh, yeah, I can't like it like a picture on people. Yes, you get this so grateful I'm in my mind. I'm round your flat looking at looking looking in looking at the keyhole see this this is the creepy Oh, that's a razor. I've got I'm nuzzling myself in there.
I'm selling. I've just rubbing my beard against my own shoulder So pretending it's someone else's thigh and the thank you. Just wanted to say thank you really that's all thanks great Thought I'd get sexy it could do you know the options there the options there to get sexy well, please take that option Well, no, don't you know, let's get this x-rated early days So if you give it on patreon, maybe you'll get the full sex You were my fantasy with my gratitude fantasy could go through the roof I swear to God if anyone pays over $50. Yeah, I will write Paul and Eli slash Vick I think it you to read it slash it yeah, it's not the call it or no, there's a word for it shipping Oh, is that when you re-imagined that your favorite?
Movie characters or whatever get any done like it's called shipping. I believe yeah, I might be what's that reference to you No, Star Trek because they were did it Oh, it's gay can be can be you'll be involved. I'm sure there'll be one or two stories where You At time where she was at least a glove for one of the male members At least we had it inside any furries yet. No, although mate I can't mention something so I mentioned again We did get any mail from a guy who said he was a furry and he said don't mention all that stuff Which is fair enough if you listening, thank you for email, but you basically lies not too far wrong people may do it for whatever reasons But quite a lot of fucking goes on yeah, I mean it would do it in any kind of stuff.
Yeah, we're not here There's a screwing element in any kind of subculture isn't there really what you say? There's a yiffing flap it's a yiffing flap Yes, that's what for what for taking a junk out and screwing another flurry with a lovely word for horrible act You think you think that's what I think that also is the general term. They have sex. Give you anyway I would like to see some fanfic slash shipping.
Yeah of Well something like they do it with the Simpsons don't quite a lot sometimes it gets a bit creepy, but Lisa doing it. Yeah, yeah Yeah, well, I don't I don't I don't I don't wanna see that I don't know that I don't wanna see that However, if what about a good life if Lisa Simpson did have sex with Santa's little helper I'd be interested I'd be I'd be curious to see how it was animated and it's no ball to body there as well Our home was jacking off in the back. I do know what I've got to get up They have a little breather or the hot day you know it really is very sweaty today ladies gentlemen This is a house of the pickles and how to pickles one mic I had to really scrub at the the the rind of Phil brine and filth in here just to get it's a semblance of something it's so hot It's so warm What the cheap show? We did a live show already today so it's over cheap show marathon for us I think by time this episode goes out.
We love put out the live show 11 30 the morning is not the best time to do a slightly raucous violent comedy show about the economy especially when a man with his children comes in Yeah, his young children very little to Screening like an idiot look at these two knobs. Yeah, I mean it's I take your child out of here. This is obviously an adult show. Yes Wasn't it?
No, it's not No, it's not I got dangerously close to Trumpian journalistic you know you made fun of that journalist because he's the journalist had some oh, yeah It's basically a spazzy. Yeah, he did a spaz of it The classic thing anyone who heads up a massive country like United States say president role exactly the kind of thing you should be doing Yeah, let's do after that. So yeah, yeah, it's the same guy We should make more jokes about the disabled people on this show ball and they're more popular. Perhaps in America Yeah, Americans tell us because we do have a lot of American listeners.
I'm very interested to know Would you like me like to go around doing? I don't think you do anyway, so he brought his kids in and then I swear he didn't see that bother did he? I mean we gave we gave their child a toy It was a bug in case in plastic. So let me just put it play me for people listening two men in their 40s went to a comic-com Full of young people and gave toys to kids.
Yeah, it's when you put it like that It sounds a bit weird, but yeah, but it was a weird show But we had Tom Bell and Tom Bell muck it in and had a lovely time I'm gonna get Tom Bell back. We need to really get the best out of time. So get him in one of these non-linothes Yeah, we should I agree and I shall always welcome back is always welcome. What's he in learns his lesson is lesson?
He knows what he's done. Actually, you know what you did mate until you get a proper apology out You know what long they show up really? First I've heard of this and today it darks you off today mate. You've phob me mate It's Bob G.
This my fam right street talk coming in. Yeah, mate. He like listen to this threat ash Apology from you mate. Oh, I'm gonna give you a sore bottle.
They're gonna give him a blue a blue waffle Give him a blue rub off. I get what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to create it here. Oh, I'll give him one of those bones Chinese burn No, you can't say that now or Indian burns.
It's called an America. Oh, they're weird. It's a bit like Turkey and and Turkey right as in the bird Yeah, you know what it's called in on in Turkey. It's called Hindi as in Indian really?
Yeah, so they call up an Indian Yeah, but it's because it's just not the bird never originating either of those parts of the political it's just this weird thing That's a huge huge you listen that do a little bit better research Find out why a turkey was called a turkey and it's called an Indian in Turkey. Yes. What's called India a turkey? Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, right.
Well, I think I'll talk to the show the way great let's move on okay Well, I enjoy doing it last time so we're doing it again We have gone to the news agents and bought one of those cheap lovely gossip magazines What's this one called? We're saying today, Paul. That's live. That's live.
I thought all the people see Hi to Kydon April and down in out in me He doesn't say hi to Kai Don't think he does do in smack here. Oh tell me your down your bottle of Jack a day a day a bottle of Jack Daniels a day That's life. That's not a life. That's like it is That's a life like his life.
Would you like the bottle of Jack a day? Yeah, I don't drink but I'm living his life I'm enjoying him. Well, then you just him Then I'll you would know you would know about Paul Gannon. Well, maybe I'll well that's probably you would know you look all Gannon living Frank Sinatra, I'll blue eyes his life.
Would you know? But you don't be all blue eyes, but I can't be because I was born before he died I was you couldn't in fact in hell at the same time. I don't know how reincarnation works. Can you cross timelines?
No, so I can't come back It's always born a week after me or week before me. No if you were alive at the same time you can't be reincarnated What if reincarnation is only one person living every life? Well, that's the theory that we all won all one consciousness really all one universal consciousness And he's it's just an illusion that you think you have your own sort of identity But you're all fact one part of one oceanic so cosmic consciousness I die and I come back as you and so it's how everyone else Yeah, and everyone else, but I am now you I mean you we are No, I'm not going back going mucky No, all I'm saying is that I am now you talking to me when I was me some people just think it's the universe looking at itself That's what life is one big mirror looking at me looking at me looking at me I'm never really looking at me. I'm never really looking at me feel quite queasy.
Yeah, that's just you I said the episode last week was all about that They will found out old reality was fake it was a program a shadow program for aliens to test an invasion of Earth It was like the Matrix. Yeah, but not as ponderous and miserable and depressing and woefully misjudged those sequels were yeah Yeah, that was the plot so the idea was in the end the doctor in the program He found that he was on your program ends up sending himself in the real world an email that he got and learned that the invasion was coming Oh, so then you episode on tonight This is great doctor who talking to you tonight It's part two of that with the aliens coming in from the going vain, but they say they will be invited they will not they will not have an attack Exciting stuff the plan is episode goes out that's all about as well. So everyone knows kind of pointless everything is saying well All I'm saying is this is a very existential conversation. We seem to be having that life But we get us an into that life of 76 P magazine.
I was gonna ask that is cheap Very do you think my lot of magazines these days go out for three four five pounds or more very much? So very much our cosmopolitan accept you back at least the cost of some quality detergent. Yes, you know What you're gonna do be that gossip magazine or clean your pants It probably has some tips in cosmo about how to clean your pants and make them super sexy for the man in your life Yeah, 14 ways to use raid as a perfume Standing just rub a bit under your armpits. You know a few episodes ago We did funny feud yes, and you said there's one question you skipped because five places are woman without perfume Oh, yeah, we didn't we should have actually found out those five work as we said ears behind ears It's gonna be it was like they had private parts.
It was on there. It was not gonna say quim I'm gonna say well, they wouldn't say quim anyway. They've got people called quim. This is my daughter quim This is my my son chode My son I'm a big fan big fan huge fan.
Oh god. It's Jerry Lewis. It's gone trumpet. They go a little bit truck Then that was my intention anyway, that's why vagina vagina.
The China China is a great name for a punk banner I like talking names. Yeah, what about this? Bojo soy sauce. It's interesting who who what context they'd be kind of like brand no Oh, so soy sauce.
I've got a name. Oh, oh, so I can't across a name. Yeah, we all ladies named the other day Mmm, it was like the ultimate goth name. She was called mauveen coffin Wow no vene coffin Was it felt like so you gh no no no no no no no vene and yet So you can be out an Elvira clown country chances are though she likes Bobby getting an L's for done and watching key standards Sleeping corpses a bit possibly you know putting on a cape going up a hill.
Yeah screaming howling existence like the clank amount available for download right now Really into the clank a man. You should be proud of it. Well, it didn't go place. I was expecting I thought it was anti climactic to some extent, but ultimately the tone it was a film of toe rather than plot So yes, I thought you achieved the tone perfectly.
Thank you If you're one or I think at times a little bit acting school a little bit still to whether naturalistic dialogue wasn't quite as natural as your delivery But that's just my feet. What it was it's a lot of right to line that is meant to be written naturalistically It doesn't sound as because you are you know on the head John. You know that kind of thing Well, yeah, John it's on the head John right so you think I'm shit is that we say you're saying? Even though you're trying to sound shit actor again anyway listeners I have a phone that's available to watch online is Plank a man Let's see what you think of my performance and then go and hunt fall down Don't know how Tim no say no Paul in the middle of the night.
No, it lies a good actor say and then I know you could be my agent Another coffee on a lovely hot day really is I'm losing consciousness. Yeah, so anyway, right? So that's like magazine. It's 76 P.
There was a big 12,480 pound giveaway in this we quite a specific amount to give away Now, I will say this this magazine was released in January 26 I thought she told before it says I get my iPads phones January 26 of this year. Yeah, okay here the main topics on the front page I see jealous pal battered my lump is that what it's another baby killing that all their obsessed with people actually people hitting pregnant women That's the main story. So I was pregnant instead me. I know in my bellbell belly make that sound cute My bump is a bit of a cool out wheel.
No, that's the thing. He pushed my bump Pal battered my bump But this is what I'm saying is dark life. That's that's that's if you for this dick because the tail itself is gross. Yeah, it's horrible It's not very nice.
Is it nicer than? Facebook beast got my girl 15 I'm not saying it's like the film type on this It's like she's 15. I should point out I'm laughing at that not in a sort of crawlway But in a sort of it's outrageous how dark this so-called distraction Yeah, can you imagine you tell some of that story? Oh Facebook piece got my girl.
That's like yeah Yeah, you cold bastard trivialized my you know my jettison pal tried to cause me to abort Yeah, it's horrible and the one that I named up last time I was doing the hot hanging of a lantern on this issue I was I thought he was sleeping what my baby has no eyes Baby space though. Oh my god, that is not marriage. Yeah, so we're those funny topics. Do you want to tackle?
I know see it's just a little riffle through it right you can hear the planes go by it's very much a day I want people to listen to this advert. I want people listen to this podcast I want to get sent to date hot it sweaty. It's it's guerrilla recording podcasting I want to feel the sweat when they listen to this on a hot sunny day, okay? Right, I got in there baby talk something cute for the first page baby talk.
I don't understand the concept of what's going on Says it's a picture of a baby Yes, it wrapped up in a blanket There's a little fake bubble coming out saying snug as a bug and it's come from a woman called Louise satchel and it says my teddy boy How cozy does my baby teddy ten weeks look dressed up as the very hungry caterpillar? Oh my god At least wait for him to get to acquire language skills before you start Very cute this comes from Donna Gray and Donna says here's my nine month old girl flair all wrapped up against the cold weather There's a little baby all that really lovely. Hey, so you know, it's not you off with something lovely. Yeah, baby talk and Then it's actually babies that survived the sort of rampant violence against Unborn children as soon to go on in the world It's like going to age now I love the babies having adorable little words and pictures and then it goes straight to the next pages I'll make you miscarry.
That's a title of the fucking article It doesn't need to be an obsession with these maps about but if the pull quotes they have as well to make you read it This one this poor quote is the next day. She punched me awake. That's not your friend love. I had to say this She's not your power.
Obviously we're not gonna make fun of the horrible instances inside this story, but you do Look it's a tricky conversation. I think this magazine was gonna get quite Leading us into Weasley dark humor for a quite frothy podcast frothy In a sense of good times, baby. Okay, not as in big foaming cock at okay It's like it's worth was froth one as opposed to froth two all I'm saying is this is obviously very horrible story right with with shocking The type of drawing you in yes, but it's like if you heard it from number 18 across the road You'd be like oh You've reported to the police obviously, but you also go I believe it So you read the whole story at the end the very end of the article you do get a box out that says we pay up to 2,000 pound for every story we print and so this very good chance There's a matter of women somewhere living in horrible conditions suffering something quite traumatic in their life going This will make a great 2000 quit or even worse than that hello Hello Sharon come over. I want you to pretend you hate me and then kick me in the fucking bump Yeah, and we'll get some fatters put it in the make it's a bit 50 50 50 We are not saying this happened in this article anyway the next page is we're 1000 pounds worth of apple goodies But that's fair enough which is fair enough.
It's a nice simple crossword blank star war singer five words war singer war singer war Singer who yeah, what is it good for absolutely? Apparently say it again. Yeah, so it's fine like word something star. No, I meant the star Oh, I thought you had a question test it is a good star.
Yeah, I thought it was a Ruby Murray No, what's the other one called you know Desmond? No the voice of the Desmond Decker He did me his relights I thought a few pons was like you know the baby let's just forget the baby killing stuff I thought you meant you know that woman who's famous for jing up the troops during the second world war Dame Veraling fear of it war singer war time singer. Okay. Okay.
Yeah, right. We've cleared that up. It's a friend star is correct Give me another one Heather's actress. We're no no blank five letters rider about your water.
I would at the time I've got off that worth it sarcastic six letters I mean type of be a four letters. Let's not do a crossword. Oh, let's podcast. Okay, all right So bags is what Louise red nap I used to fancy hair like mad which was a eternal back in the 90s I was much younger.
She's called Louise red nap. No, because you married a red nap man Danny red nap who played for a football football. Yeah lightning strikes twice in our search for that's life's more than a year 2017 We hear from Debbie a truly inspiring woman. What's so inspiring about it?
No, that's inspiring But the pool you've built your total biological destiny. It's inspiring that you managed to get some spank up yeah And you may regret being sarcastic you've popped out a little fucking pup So well done. I took a shit and I don't want Without a mindy like it was the book quote from this door. Did you have cancer or something?
I'm sorry. It's spread to your bones. Oh god, and she's obviously suffering from that. I'm sorry chemo So she's an inspiring mum.
She's she's bravely faced Terminal illness. Yeah, but that's the other thing. I just mentioned you complain about surviving cancer. I know it's great surviving cancer It's great, but I just when they describe people one of us is going to hell I just think I hate the way that tabloids describe people who have survived cancer as brave brave people I can see the picture money falling away like snowflowers on a winter's This might be the last podcast that we ever do.
That's what I'm comfortable doing with you All I'm saying is yeah, you get cancer very bad doesn't make you brave you really want to carry on with this thought Well, I'm just saying I think they're all very brave, okay brave is when you go and decide to do something No, I decided to have cancer. No, oh the house is on fire I'll go in there and I'll try and rescue something like my my stack of I can't believe you're comparing people who rescue cats and fires The people who survive cancer one makes a choice to be something really stupid to say an animal That's courage and you're saying people are courageable Don't have courage when they decide to battle cancer rather than just let it happen and give up I think a lot of that motivation. This is a very weird episode I'm just saying it's not necessary brave trying to survive just a bit stay alive. You have a health problem Let's move.
Oh, right. Sorry. I'm sorry. Are you married to a kid old right?
Yeah, does your fella? So if he doesn't get his way, then you could be with a man child. We are so taking this test Yes, yes, Eli. So is this this is the test for the lady so we'll just transpose it as if you were asking a man As if I had a wife.
I'll play my own wife imaginary wife. Okay, you will play all the who's made to Eli's to me. Yes Hello, he's got huge not One thing one thing Paul I won't complain about is his prowess in the better is amazing. It takes me places You never imagine so let's start the test then.
Yeah, definitely not a child in the the trouser department I tell you that the girth is amazing takes my breath away literally right start the test right It is your mother-in-law 60th birthday and you need to get here a present does your fella does Eli Yes, what's your name by the way for this one? I'm my Veen mauveen. I'm oven like cow mauveen like bovine No, how do you call me a cow? I'll get Eli all right then mate.
No, it's great big no Oh Questions right so it's mother's mother if you mother lost six years birthday and you need to get her a present does Eli Hey tell you he's got a perfume set and it's all wrapped up ready to go Yes, be reluctantly pause his game of FIFA and drive you to the shops or something or see shouts that you should get whatever And then puts his headphones back on that's it's it's it's see it's see yes, of course it's see because Just the obvious one really next number two you and Eli are on at date night when some powers When suddenly he takes a turn for the world. It's a bit poorly. You know you're out with friends And he's drunk Eli might have drunk one or two more drinks that he probably should have and he has ruined the night He can always move so like a fucking cowboy if that cow boy Maybe keep moon well, he's like a squirty cowboy So does he like order a taxi and right? I've said this question wrong.
Okay, let's have it again With Eli and suddenly you become poorly right? Oh you live like they're decided I'm going to talk to you baby. Yes. I mean I strong get this point.
You got to remember this Yes, so does he all you attacking take you home immediately once there? He's at your beck and call be give you a tenor and say it's gonna get a cab average So enough it's very good impression of him. Thank you and see tell you to put together and wind up your ruining the evening see again Yeah, he's very main except in the bedroom, but he's made in a good way Gossing you should be ashamed of yourself Because you know he's not attentive and he's not gonna be big Because he's drunk And those drugs and not getting like mouth disease. Yeah, they're gonna make my life worth by sleeping with Eli They're benefits get slashed.
That's you three. You've just brought home your first child Oh, he like as a dad is he basically can't he do enough he wakes it for night feeds and he's about how many changes nappy He's not doing enough. Yeah, be always great when it comes to playtime But it's bath time he's never around or see is he jealous of the amount of time that you're spending with the new edition to your family? Yeah, he's like oh get out child off your tits.
Oh God look at this. I need it. I want to think I fucking married you for What you think I'm married you for just so some kick and sack your tits on me to be This is a psychologically complicated section of the show. What's the next question?
Oh? Okay, the final one anyway Having a baby means you need a bigger car now, right? So when you suggest this to Eli and that he has to replace his awesome sex shagmobile, right? Does he simply a swap it for an estate right away nice sensible car coming handling you have kids be a bit of fight But he gets a more sentimental model in the end or see flat out refuses to trade it in why would he his coupe?
It is pride and joys well. He doesn't own a car But all those things all things that most men of his age should have really like a mortgage maybe But he would either fix a rocker like he like yes, he would add a prick He's a you probably say get the bus love yeah, yeah Street book get on the fact that I'm not done now. Yeah, so I said yeah, yeah, what's easy man? Let's find out you say that you like come back in Cal yes, hello, why you didn't Yourself So if he said mostly a's Eli would have been congratulations He's a keeper your fellow on the standard responsibility that come with agent isn't afraid to step up to the plate He if he said mostly these he like me just to know that this room from proven But your part is on the right track with you and we're bit coaching your be up to scratch You basically came on this mostly sees I'm actually see Z line afraid.
That's all right. That's all right. I've Your man is an overgrown baby sitting down in town to grow up or get out what you what if you want to play when I'm Not been you know can play when I'm giving you length do you mauveen? Right, she's out.
I'm going. I like back pull That was the psychological weird section we've ever gone on this show it took about an hour as well Oh my god, there's so much more this magazine to go. Okay, let's just do a couple pages No, I think that we've got a bank this. Oh, we've got a bank this wrap it up.
Although the next section is called art men daft Right what let's finish on this. Okay, give us an example of some daft things We paid 50 pounds for fit fellas and 25 pounds for all other picks So there's a picture of a guy's on a selfie for himself all sexy His chest looks a bit like an alien vagina It was face face of the alien queen from the alien franchise. It looks like an animated chest. It doesn't look good He's got hairy ridges as you can see my fellow Christopher takes a lot of pride in his appearance and is extremely dedicated to an intense workout schedule And I'm the lucky one who benefits says Natasha in blackboard that you wouldn't be doing like that Oh, okay, so is all the other scum dickheads.
I get 25 pound now. Here we go Dona rope from Birmingham That's a real name. Yes, Donna rope. Dona rope got me hanging Donna rope 90's reference.
Thank you the article's called fairy silly boy one day I asked my husband David to load the dishwasher for me when I went to unload it later But was flooded out he'd only use the fairy laundry tablet instead of the dishwasher ones What's an absolute idiot you you you moron beverage blunder. Yeah, and this is by Pat Gorman I packed them think it said Pat Gannon and that was my mum's that is my mum's name I thought please don't let my mum have written into that slide magazine the other day I was in a coffee shop and overhead a young man placing an order. I'd have a cup of chino He said confidently the girls serving him didn't have the heart to correct him and tell him he really meant Capicino that is good. I couldn't help but giggle.
That's the best thing. What's I don't think she actually put what I'm out It's the editors added that haven't they? Yeah, but I have to say that's the best thing I've heard in the magazine so far that would make me laugh if I saw some Happless guy I'll have a cup of chino, please that would be funny really and what we even funnier is if didn't waitress Had some chinos lying around cut up some chinos and put it in a cup and says there's your cup of chino you absolute idiot All right on this page just to finish off is a section called John's rude jokes of the week are they rude 25 pound every Rude joke why we can do that. Yeah, this can't Into a funny shop.
I want a fanny. What kind of fanny's you got? I got loose ones I've got wet ones dry ones. I want one's only half a fan a And close line is you need glasses mate.
This is an off shop. Oh One because anyway, this is the first joke from Amy Graham in Hollyhead She says it's a joke one evening shower arrives home from work to find the children bathed a fuck what fine comes home To find the children bathed a fallow in the washing machine and dinner roasting in the oven He's done. He's done all the good things. He's been a good guy.
Yeah, I thought it was vice with our love life here He'll be Andy explains with his astonished wife I read that wives who work full-time and do all the chores are always too tired to have sex the next day Sharon tells her pal about it dinner was great. She says he even washed up But what about you know after her friend cheekily asked oh there was none of that she replied Andy is impotent Andy was too tired 25 pounds 25 pounds were open mike to kill for 25 quid to get a guy Yeah, there's two more is it better than that because that was one gonna go ahead and guarantee these two jokes gonna be Headline closing acts right cup of chain eyes the best thing some Charlotte Robson in Ipswich They say the cheater is the fastest animal on earth They're not kidding just look how fast a man runs when his ludders hobby comes home from work early This is like the 1970s or something. It was just like using fidelity window cleaner And the final joke I'm not holding up a lot of hope I'm gonna do this pro-comedian voice okay a lady stops the coup over a little red-head baby in the street is the father ginger then she asked the mom who had black hair Don't know she replies. He didn't take his hat off Jesus destroyed that bag that's very poor very poor very poor if you've enjoyed those jokes right into that's like magazine It's a 25 quid.
Oh, here's one you should put into and these funny jokes section. Yeah, what's the best thing about fucking 26 year olds? It's 20 of them That's a real joke. It's not gonna get printed.
That's got a kind of pedophilic really is not suitable for a magazine That has in its topic rotor abuse the pregnant women yes cancer sufferers and all the joy delights you need for when you can't face your own miserable reality mate that's like that's like that's quite depressing now for a next wacky segment of the cheap show Okay, okay, let's get back into a nice comfortable GPo space. Yes, shall we do? GG GG GG oooooo I kind of like it. Yeah, I can't think it works as a jingle that works better than the price of shot one I like the price of shot one the audience like it you know what's wrong with the price of shot one what you have to repeat it Maybe we should truncate it so so saying it's the fucking price of shot.
It's the fucking price of shot. It's the fucking price of shot Oh, it's a fucking price of shot. That's right. That's four times.
Why not just twice Wrong. It's the fucking price of shot. Oh, it's a fucking price of shot. That's right.
I guess I guess I'm not saying you're wrong I'm just saying sometimes I think the full effect is important I just about on the third is the fucking price of shot and losing the will to live when I say it I said to say so you lose the will to live drop the hat So let's just crack on weird cheap beats now in this cheap beats we're doing something that you've got and also the longer way to Food item that you've been talking about online. I'm hyped. We're fine. I'm not gonna tell you right now I'm fully hyped about it for but we're gonna try it out This is it's a it's a day that will go down in history It will there'll be the right this in the annals of history, but let's start.
Let's see items. I have yeah I've got three items today always talk to them. I can not wait. I've got three items today.
Thank you professional might work First item so you'll be head back there with my head back. Yes If this is something I picked up in the States is a cliff media. I wish I deal with the media if you know got laid Oh He's got his app out. Oh, it's gonna happen Let's say again should I say again?
I'll say it with a really sad voice as well. Yeah, Paul. Yeah, I reckon you should definitely okay I'll say it was a point voice as well. Yeah, you ready almost.
Do you know what Paul? Well, I wouldn't mind contracting Media if it meant I got my willy wet No, I presume you got something else from America. Yes, I got our more brand Yeah, armor. Yeah, that's in shields.
Yeah, I'm aware of armor ground and formed sliced dried beef I'm gonna put that way now. I might not please put it away, but you see that maybe a gospel something sounds like a spirit Great guy, right Just put it away. All right, so describe what you see here You know that bit when you said about getting you willy wet. Yeah, I'll say one more time.
Oh, I don't mind contracting The media have it made up of sex Makes sense right can we get back on to it? Can we get back on to the Everyone is so sick of that Paul a what it's time for Eli's cheap eat We were meant to be keeping this short and you've gone you've gone off the rails with your app put your phone down It's like having a child. I'm gonna pass that test quite quickly. That's your man child put it away with this is a serious part of the show that people actually take our advice and they listen to it and it informs their food decisions Paul and we Thank you.
Yes, that's right. I don't hear about noodles. Yeah. Yeah, I'm the man to tell them about noodles and my friend And my friend Mark Allen.
Yeah, he's been sending me personalized. Yeah noodle reports And they are on my phone and I'll start bringing them out if you start bringing this crap out I'm gonna give you a noodle report. That's all gonna do Paul. Yeah, please we've already had this in the live show It didn't work then wait a lie Let's eat your meat.
Yeah, come on now It's armor Glad it's nice to proud and formed sliced dried beef 95% fat free is in a glass jar So you can see there's a watch of sliced meat in there Yeah, but the lid is sort of like a candle it so if it's popped up, you know, we bad you can see it's got a pop Yeah, it has not been popped so it's as far as we know safe and also do you know I know this is safe because listen to these ingredients This is stuff that will never ever go on Ingredients beef yeah salt right sugar cool sorbitol what contains 2% or less of sodium aero forbade So some kind of salty thing and sodium nitrate very bad for you That's not but it does does not there's not much of that in there it's us inspected and passed by the Department of Agriculture So someone shut that out and on the cover the photo I think you're meant to do something with it because there's some kind of unspeakable meat hump on the Cover which is all pink and white and all flecky and there's someone's put it on a cracker. Can you see that? Oh my god, what is that it's a lump of you know what it looks like? Can't be fast.
Yeah, it's gonna be fast. Yeah, you're matching with potatoes. This is slice So you could put this on a sandwich or pizza so shall we uh pop the old button now Can I ask have you kept this in the proper conditions or have you let it sweat in the house of pickles because that's gonna have a matter Of effect on the moisture and taste of it. Look, it's been sealed and it's been in a dry place Okay, the house of pickles is not where I'd ever call a dry place where it's certainly drive ladies I'm opening my I'm opening the dry beef.
All right. Okay cool Don't give it a hard talk is that what you do you got to waste it? Yeah? No, it's not it's not coming off Come on get it off.
Oh, that's a whole section ruin pool. Just open give it it it Right, there's a few instructions when used in recipes rinse in warm water and drain. We're not great after opening Yes, it's not open and we're not using it in recipes so and it's not fish so you could you how do you open it? How do you open it?
Do I get a can opener? You might need to get a bottle opener. Let's do this. Oh, yeah So it's open and I'm looking there's a very distinct dry beefy smell coming off Honestly, I'm gonna smash that phone up just put it down poor that's a big thing I'm having you slide a slice of dry beef and I have a slice on the hottest day of the year in the house of pickle We're eating Swiss eat meat slice and that's poorly acoustically treated.
I'm eating it Wow, that's all to you. It's your salt. Wow. That is so impressed salt.
Wow. They are not joking That's about the saltiest thing of every in my life So whoo, I mean honestly when they say you need to wash the salt off no shit that is like three days worth of salt I'm a tallness tingly right, so I'll just describe that to our listener At first it's quite pleasant. It's very much like you get that with the beefy foot flavor. It's corn beef Yeah, corn beef or corn beef hash.
Yeah, how's that flavor within the salt hits you? So it is you the mouth mate. It's extremely salty Extremely salty that would never go off. Oh, mate I mean it's the second ingredient after beef So I mean how much beef compared to salt is though because it looks like the beef is there to hold the salt microbes together Yeah, so I have some have some beef with yourself salt wafer Maybe if you'd wash it like it instructs you to let's make it in a sandwich or some cheese and some whatever It's probably fine.
That's not the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth. No, I mean it's quite but wow I mean I don't know if you even allow a product to have that much salt in this country I don't honestly think I've had anything that meaty and salty in my mouth since secondary school Right, I'm walking out put it down put it down over there. Okay, so that was my arm I'll drive beef sliced and ground informed. Okay out of ten six.
I'll go for Five oh, I'll meet you on five then. It's unusual. We don't usually have meat products on them. It's fine.
You're either me. Yeah Anyway, there's that all right. Okay, so I find for that not too bad not too awful But as usual you can see a photo of the all of the things we put it on our mouth We'll be on our website if you go to the cheap show up UK and you go to the episode number web page like this We thought you whatever you have all pictures and stuff to accompany the sounds that you are now hearing made Depends of any of the driving. Thank you.
So moving on to something from Brazil. Oh, there's a Brazil This is a Garotto baton cream. Oh, and these are some kind of chocolate lozenge interesting Okay, kind of Marie Look, well, it's got the baton is got an oh the oh of baton is is like how polos is brown rings Perhaps that's what we're gonna see a brown ring. So after having some salty meat.
We're gonna now feast on a brown Yes, it's a psychologically complicated episode. You like okay here. I'm opening the baton at creme Looky him and yes, they are they chocolate they are chocolate. How they melted.
Oh, it's just one thing what it's not things It's one thing it's one big lump of chocolate. I was not expecting that what can I ask is it that it melted into one? No, it's no it is actually one one thing that's interesting It's like a cylinder of chocolate, but it's in the package which you would expect them to be separate little sweet It's a little little little so to break the top of that off ball. I'll break the top of it off Oh, oh, it's got a wet it's got a creamy filling and give that a little taste What do you think that's all right?
Yeah? Yeah, what's the chocolate like the quality of I mean? It's a little bit What's the feeling very sweet in that way top? It can be sometimes a little bit too sugary.
Yeah, but actually it's sort of not a Load of cocoa in there because it's a slightly thought that's a little bit. Let's see how we moist or warm everything in here Yeah, I reckon if I'm not that's a cool chocolate ball like you bought it. It wasn't nice and hard. You'll be right.
Yeah I mean I'm gonna have some now. Yeah, okay, so what it is. It's got white chocolate in the center and A darker chocolate on the outside very sweet. Yeah, but it's quite nice.
It's quite nice. I hate white chocolate But I don't mind it when it's like this really it's not just white chocolate. Yeah white chocolate is so overrated It's got a kind of almost nutella. Hmm definitely going on.
I think that's quite nice. I'm actually surprised by that. Oh, that's quite nice I'm gonna give that I'm gonna give that a seven. I mean concordance with the value and I will also can I shake your hand?
Seven it is. Seven right. We've agreed with your shukans. I it's a seven.
Oh quite a good item a surprise item But it'd be nice, you know, you know a little pack lunch. Yeah, you got your juice box. Hmm. You got a sandwich a little baton in your box Maybe sir your mum has washed off your dried beef.
It rinsed it. You've rinsed it hung it out on your clothes line I'm gonna imagine the picture right next one. Okay, right What about in this section this part is actually what your third item. I was gonna say final but we have one more We've got a special item going on with him and it is fucking special.
It's so fucking special. Okay now late These are grips this this now. It's a thing like a walkers. So it's all bomb big.
Yes, monster I know for fact it is can I ask question? Yes, there's a ladies own walkers all those walkers own lays I think lays bought walkers. That's my feeling I have no factual basis with it. What are they both owned by?
Let's say Barry man. Let's have a little look at the back of the pack. Let's say it's usually for us something You might say you're usually You know what actually I've lost interest so let's move on now. It's got a helpful sticker sticker Where'd you buy this because obviously it's in foreign yes, but the shops around here have lots of Nice international food international food and includes crisps and you know you got your walkers you standard walkers From Turkey I think looking at the writing it says max mocno Poggietti which I like a phone when you're talking it says max right mocno Poggietti Yeah, which and then it's orientalina south side which I think you know you do we can use my Google Translate app to translate this translate so we can read it now max on to the branch is not gonna translate anything special Zima class kazani that's easy for you to say right so let's go to camera if you hold it Oh, yeah, I need to fix what it goes from English to so I need to do what that'll be Turkish No, it's Polish.
Oh, it's Polish almost definitely I think oh, okay Let me scroll to Poland Polish and then into English. Okay, right scanning it now usual thing it's a highlight the test so Eti power is that what it's? Oriental salter potato chips eat chips Worth of a gypsy their gypsy's oh sure it's all the end of south to play with that interesting yes Isn't it well? What is oriental salter?
I mean salter comes from Mexico doesn't it? Well, that's one of those hybrid foods isn't it? It's an oriental style salter So it's like probably the base of a salter but with some oriental which I believe I believe is a racist term say oriental I don't think you it's cool these days and yet there's a big shopping stretch for called the oriental food So yeah, so I don't know where I stand all I'm saying is the people who are sensitive to the word oriental yes There are you know because it's a colonial term it is that's why yeah Let's not do any more about race and just eat the crystal because you don't have to I'll say for something quite bad about a race For edgy joke and then I listen back when I edit the podcast I'm really saying it I'll I used to keep it in thinking it's still witty so these are enrigged crisp yeah I had four gags that about all the end of that yeah just move on you know let's it's not The thing I'm saying away from it. I'm opening the layers yes Oh, they've got a punchy What's hangy tangy flavor it to me.
Oh very funny smell like knickknacks. Yes, so reaching their alignment coriander Yeah, like all that was cool. There was never a line there was a yellow green clapper was there of knickknacks that was the scampy Oh, the famous campy. Oh, yes, that was a that was a nice and saucy rip ribbon saucy Oh, I think it was cool.
So tuck in there boy. I will here. I'm a ridge. It's quite heavily ridged for her pleasure and now for mine.
Oh Right, I'm very nice. Yeah, it's a heavier flavor, but it's got a sort of spice to it. Mmm delicate almost nice I'm surprised. I thought this is gonna be a lot stronger and a bit kind of thick and no very nice.
Yeah, almost a quite subtle flavor No, don't they don't feel over flavor do that or they've got my fault quite an old flavor, but a tasty flavor very more Yeah, it's a bit chilly a many dipper. Yes, you know you sit there and you keep dipping You think it's a last dip. No, really so they'll be good for actually tipping itself So or a dip of your own choice perfect for something you need on the pack you can see that a salter there to give you a Conely tip of how to eat them. Okay, so eight and a half me.
I'll go for it Yeah, it's a crisp. I'd enjoy it in my own time in the house of pickles if I'm gonna snow that way I think I to very wise so when you're on your next grief moment, you know, when I'm terribly hungover I'm like lounge over the side of the bed stuff a bunch of those in my face and think oh I hurt Okay, so we're gonna say you said eight and a half. Yeah, I'll say eight fine Okay, so just a recap everyone beef the armor drive be ground form the slice is it salty fuck? Yeah, it's the saltiest thing I've eaten ever probably apart from salt salt so itself.
I mean even that isn't a salt is that no It's all it's salty enough. Yeah, it's extreme salt. It's almost like the form of it delivers salt like it's a belief It's a hot salty meat injection. Oh salt assaults.
Yeah, oh your meaty mouth parts So you can get on today. No, actually No, sorry, you just might very spitable on isn't it? Yes, right? Let me say coffee knob stock Roughly not stop my new festival.
Yeah, good one. Yeah, we're going this on my coffee. No stop who's playing this bunk? Yeah, is it?
Yeah, what's that other band? I'm a bad man wet wipes wet to make a opening for a spunk salty froth and who's the headline on Saturday night coming All right, let's let's move on you can't think of it better than that. Oh, no, well, I didn't spray It's almost like I didn't think of it before I said it. I know how unfortunately improvised comedy on the flag works Okay, so it's a high wire act and sometimes we both for now I am genuinely excited about this next item poor so the backstory to this is I've forgotten the person who donated it So I'm really sorry if it is you who donated this tell us and we'll give you a thank you on the next podcast because Let's just say what it is.
Well, this all we do I like to look a little more people in London a few months ago now and we had a few awesome people handles gifts like itself, you know the The tele-addicts TV board game and the big brother board game and also the and this the author of the Cheap show Eli app sound board was there as well and he heckled the whole way through a bit of a dick Yeah, I'm very apology was very contrite So over polyepologetic via our conversations all gonna say is drink sensibly drink responsibly responsibly You know we like a bit of a drink Eli He likes a bit of a drink. That's me putting it very very delicately. So you're a person guys completely hands-on queer Like people like my phone for people to go and off right and this is yeah This is this we talk about this on a podcast and someone brought it to the show. I know he's actually someone it is the elusive Pot noodle mac and cheese flavor.
Wow now. We also all the advert, but we didn't see them on shelves Yes, I thought maybe they were sort of discontinued just like that time poor Yeah, which no one remembers but when pizza heart and pizza heart were going to change their name to pasta heart And it was a big thing and they didn't do it. They did it to one or two stores It didn't work and they changed them back. Okay, thanks for the Pizza Hut I believe near the theater in London was that big things with a high pot right now The pizza thought they was momentarily I believe called pasta and that did not go well and it was a test bed They want to go to pasta heart.
Yeah, it's cool. Yeah. Oh I get some pizza. Oh that that implies pizza in good time.
No Me and my family. Yeah, let's go spag ball ball Jack they say for a today anyway. Yeah, but I think they wanted to emphasize because Peter had a bad rap I think at the time. Yeah, it's got a pizza.
I want to put a pizza. I like thick and creamy in my pizza That can be that word better than me though My friend I know bring up on the podcast quite a lot. Yeah, when I said that was a wrap-out. He's like, oh, yeah, so you won yeah I got some actually so isn't true.
So isn't true. You've got so much more experience You just can't bear the fact that I'm an inferior rapper word Smith to you Paul You know, but won't Virgil if you're having to listen to this episode. I'll fucking have you mate. You think you're the drummer Oh, you mean you can out drum it.
Yeah, I can think I can out wrap you I can probably out drum here down And I don't want to embarrass you Virgil if you listen it so I won't challenge you because it's not fair But a good look on the album right so Did we mention what this is? Yeah, pot noodle mac and cheese. Okay, so we're gonna have this right now We've sealed this box and we have a bit of a tradition going now with cheese flavoured noodles because we tried the pannio one Yeah, I have some pannio No, I'm not mad. Yeah, I'm out.
Yeah, I'm out one. Yeah, it was just cheese noodle, but I do pondoo That's like I mean the describing the noodles or I'm having a stroke No Because we might need to explain that to people who don't live in the UK what pot noodle is yes So I think you should do that because you know I'm like I'm trying to describe stuff now the instant ramen noodle Yeah, took the world by storm it really did when it was invented and in Britain so fucking hot today I know come on in the UK. Yeah, we had a reputation right up until the you know the 80s really for being kind of food backwards Yeah, we didn't like foreign mark as they put it indeed You know things like avocados garlic We're seen as exotic Yeah, as Peter K has made a whole career. Yeah, but that was the attitude of a lot of people They we had no experience of my nan thought fish fingers were French shit really no I'm making that up No fish fingers.
I mean come on. Yeah, that's a very British thing So all the food was kind of bland here and it was very safe and things like a catheter Yeah, you know things like avocados were outlawed and even things like spaghetti. I mean it's hard to imagine when I first had Catherine This house it was like the Queen over yeah special cutlery used I think for that sort of reason the back witness of the food culture in the UK Noodles was seen as again quite foreign so they didn't didn't really catch on in the same way as they did around the world Yeah, but then came pot noodles Which were originally manufactured by the defunct crisp manufacturer Smith's golden wonder oh gold wonder yes Oh, I thought it was golden wonder's pot noodle because you don't know that's right in fact I'm not gonna put an advert for gold woman's pot noodle right now should be here in four minutes don't cross them on You know I like Human taters there is so true put it get them when you find yourself for the hungry moment Just put the kettle on and make a pot noodle tender past an orders with vegetables and soil pieces in a rich savory sauce Choose from five tasty flavors and eat hot from the pot now mind your shirt Gerald So try pot noodle today now in new sweet and sour and choose into my two flavors So I can tell by that trailer that advert very British it's policeman It's so it's that that picture of Britain that never really existed But people think that's what we were great that Bobby's on the street leave it off open and you know white dog dirt Little ball jumpers with European cup jumpers for gold posts old lady neglect more killers Yeah, that's basically the room we want to go back to so pot noodles came in and I think probably late 70s early 80s is very first arrived and Immediately they almost immediately they became stigmatized as a student food because they were sheep I mean no the ramen the instrument is seen as student food around the world Yeah, it's because except in now anyway for more than this country than used to yes It's almost a staple in America. I think noodle snacks as well as a food.
Yes, that's it But they call it ramen noodles there, but whereas here we call them instant noodles or pot noodles But it was very stigmatized Right now is fucking Doing it So pot noodle very much stigmatized and then that the manufacturers themselves hooked on to their bad reputation in the 90s and had a very post-modern Out campaign that likes like the tango almost like where it was like the bad boy. Yeah bad boy of snacks Yeah, it was dirty. It was slutty. You know me, which I found quite music.
I mean work for them to be honest But now Pot noodles what I'll say is sometimes I enjoy pot noodle Yeah, but I think because of the way they try and I duck these foods to the British palate They put a lot of corn flour in it. It's kind of sludgy whereas the noodles I like the Japanese or Chinese noodles have a clear broth. Yeah, you know, I'm nice. I sue.
It's a nice clear soupy broth Where's this they put so much flour? Yeah, it's not nice really. It's faster. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's kind of all corn flour But I've changed the recipe since then so I presume it's a lot less. I mean, it's still you're right gloopy Yeah, I just wouldn't choose it as a quality noodle in any way. I'm sorry. No, it's not But it serves a function and it's still a brand big enough to carry on.
Yes So I'm gonna open it right now So let's have a little look have a look because you did the gimmick with some noodles is they have a sauce sashay and so I say you see So yeah, sorry, yeah for the chicken mushroom for beef. It's tomatoes. Yeah to catch up Yeah, I think the coolies has got kind of cooly curry sashay in there or chili sauce. Yeah, so I'm gonna It's no sash.
I think they might not be a sashay. So let's find out. I'm gonna pull back the tin foil Badly you're not meant to tear it like I did you have to fold it back to keep it No, that's not you're not gonna do that you're right sense. No, it says take it all off.
That's the other difference It's got a sashay in it. Oh We found a little explosion I got my nose it's apparently's inhaled some of this so tomato sauce. Yeah, it's some tomato sauce Which would you have catch up with some mac and cheese? I was thinking I'd have hot sauce with it.
I would yeah, it's great Let's give it a sniff. Oh Even in its dry state. It's got an artificial like you've left the cheese on the window still too long Yeah, it's early does so it looks like moldy cheese. Shall we prepare this?
We're gonna prepare it and come back with a one big hot box of pot noodle and two forks Let's see how this goes. It's very exciting. Here's an outfit the pot noodle again. Come back Yes, it's lovely.
I don't love caters just those sandwiches. I need something filthy. You know like a cabab Excuse me Oh Right So we bought the kettle we are back in the room and it's time now to taste the cheese Mac Mac and cheese part noodle on a hot day In the house of pickles. It's not the greatest day to check.
You know, it's not a state's for this book You have the first go. I'm gonna as that noodle connoisseur. I'm gonna dive right in now one thing I know is which I think people should should understand when they say Mac and cheese. Yeah, it's not actually macaroni They've stuck with a noodle format on the actual pasta very good point.
I'm glad you're good. I'm contentious with that I'm looking at it and it does look quite cheesy. It also looks like sick. Yeah, they all look like sick That really looks like sick that looks like two o'clock in the morning had too much to drink sick and listen little oniony bits Yeah, sick now also We're tasting it without the sashay of tomato sauce added first just the time being when I get the raw raw Sensation and you know what the smell is very much like that kind of milky smell that I got off the cheese flavored rather I'm gonna say that for a student Berlin As usual, okay, so I'm going to go Cool it down and here we go I've got a little napkin.
Do I napkin? No, here we go. I get you a napkin. Here we go.
Thank you. There we go. Well, that better I think what you think but that is slimy in sippied the cheese flavor is so slight It could just you know, I mean, it's just not yeah, yeah, let me almost stay on this and get a lot of this on my fork It's not here. We go for it.
I Tastes artificial yeah. Oh, it's not my nice is it. Oh, I mean I don't have another little bit have a little bit So what do you think Paul well if I'm like a Roni it's barely cheese, but let's be honest will the tomato sauce improve it Needs something binning yeah, but it needs a I mean That's just not not what do I think with tomato for the sauce in this and why not? I think you know you think your standard person might have mac and cheese at home of real mac and cheese might have some Ketchup on it.
Oh, you know, I personally I think nice mac and cheese with good cheesy topping. Yeah, nice and crispy Yeah, brown topping almost yeah almost burnt. Sorry orange. Oh, yeah, lovely.
You like crumble bits on the top of people do I can have that I can give a take that yeah, yeah, yeah, what's your view and crumble bits happy with happy without the cheese tastes nice Yeah, as long as the cheese is there and I like it with some hot sauce in compliment it perfectly So I actually will work it's a ratchet would be but blamming Troyd Good yourself good yet. No, I was in a restaurant the other day. I'm not a lot and a coleslaw. Yeah, I ordered some coleslaw This is a great story and it came along and it had sprinkled lightly on top sure actually really yes well And it zinged did it think they absolutely popped I frothing with anticipation right so let's get some of this I doubt I don't think It's gonna rescue it, but here I'm gonna put the tomato sauce into it Yeah, and it's just catch up low grade catch up so I stir it in a bit you should stir it in the first bite poor very poor Yeah, it looks like some blood accident in it.
Oh god. Oh actually oh I can do this right. Oh, me I don't know if I can do this by the way Pop noodle people if you want us to if you want to sponsor your product make it taste better oh And the survey says now it just tastes like slightly sweeter puke All right, okay here we go. Yeah, you're right, Paul.
Oh, all right. I think we're done with that now Oh god, we were looking forward to this so much as well early It's just not very nice now. I know how the fans of Gem and the holograms movie felt that is That is the worst I mean I was the worst part little I've ever said yeah I think so it is the vanilla monster lunch your pot noodles, you know what I mean? Leaves a flavoring in your mouth like when you've heard yeah, you know you get that kind of stomach after taste the cheese just has no distinction It's very watery almost it is the banana flavor of cheese flavoring.
Yeah, it's it's artificial max It's artificial and also has no bite. You know it has no cheesiness really right? I'll give that one I'll give it to but it's like maybe not one and a half one and a half because I thought if I had and the tomato sauce just Just add some sugar sweetness to it made it more salty sweet. Yeah, but not good I gave it to you on to give it a bi-oil feel that I didn't have when it was just that padme cheese ramen It's in comparison to that is through the roof.
Yeah, how much do that cost you 50p and that would have been at least a pound there I think you get better quality product out of that much much better so there you go now we've a huge anti climax for us for really put this down as our first failure No, I know it's the brand's failure. It's them they've let us down They made us excited for macaroni and cheese basically slimy slimy slimy tasteless acidy Just to be disgusting and just work And now it's just had a bite again. So yeah, that was deeply unprecedented unpleasant so bad It made me forget how to say the word unpleasant. Yeah, very very poor.
Oh Right, I mean I'm prepared to keep tasting cheese noodles, but that's definitely the worst of the two I think we've reached the bottom of the cheese barrel cheese noodle barrel in good cracker barrel Yeah, and I think we've reached we've also been to the heights. Yes, so what's in the middle? Well, there may well be other cheese and you know what poor there is instant macaroni sold in noodle Pads I've had those before and they're quite nice. So I'll get some of those in walk this trilogy of cheese Yeah, you don't see them very often They're cheese illagerie.
Thank you and they actually have actual bits of macaroni in but that our instant like a noodle. Oh, wow Yeah, we're doing that. I think that's not high the thing is you can make any sort of pasta any shape You can make it instant the way you make it instant as you boil it in palm oil first I didn't know that well you fry it in palm oil. Yeah, no, that's how noodles are good instant noodles.
Yes I know I should say it instant. I say noodles and yeah noodles noodles This is a sign of a fan at home as you say noodles Noodles no stop making my jokes Do all the cat phrases. No, but someone did it did a complaint there was enough for offering the last thing I think we've made up we made up in fact left wrap this episode up right, okay. Oh my god I've never had that reaction to that.
Yeah, it was unpleasant for all. I have to say it wasn't very nice That's a cheap show. Thank you for listening if you want to help support this podcast then you can now by going to patreon go to patreon.com forward slash We show don't interrupt when I'm giving important information out patreon.com forward slash cheap show and if you go there There are lots of different tiers that you can donate to even if it's a dollar It's so greatly appreciable. It's a bit about Patreon and it gets converted into pounds when it gets dished around right anyway the point is no matter how much you give we love it We really appreciate the help to pay for we want to get new microphones Obviously and noodles noodles to taste you know, you know about the noodles yes We're doing important work here people so and also we we want to go out on the road and go to more Go to more live shows and do one near you maybe and also we want to go and do some some Carbooboo people to the car boot thing and so it all helps.
Thank you so much genuinely. Thank you. Yes. It's fantastic It's I've been very moved and we're rolling out the this month's patreon prizes and things and the new podcast We're gonna do a special podcast.
We're not gonna talk about here You're just everyone who got the patreon and patreon and patreon and patreon and patreon and we'll get this podcast a little bit to invite Especially for you especially for your little nuzzle. We've got something quite nice for you to listen to I think and we're gonna do an outro too Anyway long story short it's all happening throughout June. Thank you patreon people. Thank you If you're listening you want to get to just on twitter we're quite chatty on twitter.
We're quite nice. We're quite well I can't understand that work. I'm quite nice on twitter. Oh, no, I understand.
I look so soony The twitter account is at the cheap show part go to our website See pictures from this episode on the website which begins www.thecheapshow.co.uk and finally if you want to email us for whatever reason you can Through a website or at the cheap show at gmail.com vote and review us on iTunes We were the top 50 comedy podcast in the UK 25 reviews so far all five star reviews. Thank you so much Yes, thank you to the Guardian for recommending us that was excellent Maybe like I'm glad I didn't hear that bit then. Thank you to poglas and we are called to websites for recommending us as well They call us extremely funny and thank you for making cheap show be what it is right now You know two guys in a hot sweaty room on a Friday tired sweaty hungover with a microphone now It was a bit titty in a room that's not a coo stupid treated. That's why it's called cheap show.
Thank you. Good. Bye Is that a sign off? Yes.
Good. Bye everybody