Who's that sitting in our studio? I don't know. Why is this on in our studio? Paul, I don't know.
I just got here. Mr. Sulethamon. Mr.
Garen? Yes. Yes. Hello.
Could you come in here, please? Well, we're already in here. I mean, yeah, no, we saw a house. I'll let you in.
Think of that bit. Who are you? Who are you? I'm a lawyer, sir.
And I am here. You're a lawyer. I'm a lawyer. I'm here on behalf of Mr.
Richard O'Brien-Doffs. What is this all about? We're trying to record. Paul, aren't we trying to record our podcast?
Can you piss off whenever he wants to do? We're not interested. I don't know, but it doesn't look like a lawyer, Paul. I am a lawyer, sir.
I'm one of the most respected lawyers in all of London. I'm proud. Where did you study? I studied law school, sir.
Which score? Mm-hmm. LAUGHTER You've got this paper from Karen, you've ever done. And that is saying something.
Anyway. I went to a private school, sir. I know. OK.
What is it? I really don't know about it. Just come out with it. My name?
Do you want to know about it? Yes. My name is Harry. Harry.
Harry Jizzy Fingers. This thing. My name is Harry Jizzy Fingers. Hello, Mr.
Harry. And I have a real lawyer, sir. I'm here on behalf of Mr. Richard Brandhoff for you to sign his documents, sir.
What is he going on? I'm not signing anything unless I see it and you explain it to me. Well, basically, you've heard of Mr. Brandhoff.
We've heard of him, all right? Yes. You've heard of his content house, have you, sir? Yes, you have heard of him.
Have you not interested? He's got a conch house, sir. Oh, my gosh. So, you know, content house, you're going to be live streaming for financial gain.
And I'm here to get you to sign your likenesses away and consents to appearing in at all times. OK, one second, Paul. I think this man's having a stroke. Can we?
Yeah. Put it away. Can we go back in your pads? No, not that kind of stroke.
He's having that, though, as well. Maybe one will cause the other to happen. Well, listen, Mr. Jizzy Fingers.
That's right, sir. Don't wear my name out. Can I look at this, please? Here you go.
Here's the conch. Thank you. All right. What's this here?
It's... What's this say? We have to wave the right to charge a fee if we appear in content house. What is conch house?
We're not having anything to do with a fucking content house. That's just maybe, sir. But just in case any of those characters come here, or if you end up in the vicinity of the content house for any extra reasons, then, of course, you'll need to sign this waiver. Tell Mr.
Brandhoff to wipe his arse with that. Yeah, go tell the fuck off. We're not interested. Oh, he won't be very happy with this.
Could you get out? We have to do some works just like this. Oh, well, I'll go for it. I'll tell him.
You don't sound like a lawyer very much. I know all about law, sir. OK. What would kiss me?
All right. What is it known? What's the Latin term in law where you have to produce the body? Cropopious, but that's right.
Get out. It's like you have a real lawyer. Come on, Paul. Help me kick it out.
All right, get out. Get out. And take this fucking thing with it. Get out with you.
Fucking bastards. I don't even know what that is, Paul. I don't know what that is. You just know what it was.
I don't know what he was doing, but I don't know exactly what it involves. He just said all the characters in the house. He looks into content house, and I'm now with silent shit. He's making some kind of content there.
As far as I'm concerned, it's not to be with us. We're not getting involved. We're going nowhere near it. We just need to concentrate on this.
On content. Yeah, so let's get going, shall we? I'm going to say four minutes. What could you say?
People like time. You've got a weird relationship with it. You know, I get me fingers in. And I promise time that I love her, but really, I'm looking at her distance.
Time is usually portrayed as a male figure. Is it? Yes. I'll fall for the time, isn't it?
Lady time. That's one as well. Anyway, I have my eye on time, but I'm really into distance. Or distance.
Dirty distance. You're right, that's a cheap show. I like space. Cheap show to my heart, right?
That was terrible, then. I loved it. I just wanted to call it a parry. Do you think?
Why? You didn't like that because it made me laugh last night when I was thinking of it. You thought that last night? Yep.
Fuck off. Do you think it's so long? You were like, Harry? Because I was a bit ashamed of his name.
Oh, I see. It sounded like you couldn't think of one something to say there. No, I was acting. We'll see.
Hello, welcome to Cheap Show, everyone. This is a cheap show, a podcast, form, podcast, show, cheap show. I've started without thinking. I've just forgotten.
I've been starting without thinking. No, I don't have a thing right now. And now I'm ready to go. Ladies, welcome to Cheap Show.
It's a podcast, a funny podcast. I'm in it. My name is Paul Ganon. I'm Eli Silverman, also in the podcast where we bring you the treasure that we find amongst the trash.
All that trash. Cheap stuff. That's our modus operandi round here at Cheap Show, everybody. We talk about cheap stuff.
We drink cheap stuff. We eat cheap stuff. We go to cheap places. We scratch our bull sack.
You know that was happening. You know me. I'm just going to let you go with this one until eventually it pees out. Oh, it's ruffle hound.
There we go. And then hysterical laughter, which he can't control, which they goes on the fucking ever. Even though it's not that funny. He goes off.
Oh, fuck. Just go away to love. No, I'm done. It's like your son downing.
It's just like it's that old man. Go, I remember the 80s. Well, that could sum up our show as well, couldn't it? Anyway, you know, last week we were welcoming you listeners.
Yes, the amount of fucking porn I've been sensing. Really? Yeah. I mean, you listen to, here's my gosh.
I mean, you listen to, here's my good job. I mean, I mean, you listen to look at these tits. Oh, look at my gaping bubble. They've sent me images.
And I've, and I've sadly had to download each and every one of those photographs have put them in my hard drive. Well, I didn't get none of that. Do you want me to send you them? Yeah.
Anyway, what got coming up on the show today? Well, last week we gave you a little bit of a smorgasbord of what we do on cheap show, don't we? And I gave you a bit of a splodger sport. There we go.
He said it again. Every time you say smorgasbord, smorgasbord comes out. Why? Because it's my thing and I invented the smorgasbord.
What you got there on the smorgasbord? Well, you got a droplet of spunk. Right. You got a string of spunk.
Maybe you got little, it's too early for spunk material. It's never too early for spunk. Five again. Two early or two late for spunk?
Question. John's Cravers Newsround. That used to come on then, didn't it? What's that gonna do with spunk?
What's that gonna do with spunk? Just fulfilling the old wanker talking about the 80s bit. Oh, yeah, George, remember Wacky Day. Blah, blah, spunk.
Have you ever seen Timmy's mallet? No. He's a religious man. Is he?
Well, I know he has got his faith. He's got a faith-based program. Yeah. And you know what?
I've always said about Timmy mallet. He's all right. Yeah. I don't know grievances against him.
I agree. He seems a lovely man. Well, you know, one thing you could kind of blame it for. Well, his pot career.
That was... You know, he won a play for that. Andrew Lloyd Webber. No.
But Timmy wanted to work with him. That's kind of like taking black money from the devil. I get the impression it wasn't so much he wanted to work with him. He was given the opportunity to do this, and he thought, why the fuck not?
OK, think about it. I do Lloyd Webber for whatever I want to say about him. He's still massively successful at what he did, right? It's boggled to mind that he was, though, because for me, a lot of those musicals he wrote have got one tune or half a cocoon at most.
Memory. That's the only good one. And that's written in the fourths. No, that's from Katz.
And it was written before Katz even put together properly. So it was just something he had knocking about. I'm going to give it to Katz. He saw it's decent in the whole musical.
Emorys all alone in my memory. I just despise his weird lizard face. Maybe he should look like a teenager in Ninja Turtle Villain. That's my issue with him.
Anyway, this is not the Andrew Lloyd Webber or Timmy Mallet podcast, or the Jeap show podcast. And my point was, last week we gave you a little taste of all the things we do on the podcast. It still tastes like a bit of record. It's just snacks.
I'm a bit snatch. I thought he was a snatch. Well, I mean, I thought I was a snatch. Snatch is never off the table.
I fetched in your snatch. Oh, lovely. I fetched right in your snatch. Da-da-da-da-da.
I've got a wet patch because I hate it. It's all mighty. I fetched in your snatch. I'm not a wet patch.
I'll keep the door on there. You think you can do something with that? It's a clean one for you, you know. He's a clean one for you.
I keep the door on the latch because I've got a wet patch thinking about fetching in your snatch. He's a snatch. A feedley patch. You've got the snatch.
Hedge, feedley patch. Cheesy fingers. Cheesy fingers. You brought up Spunk with cheesy fingers.
That's just his name. It's French. For what? It's just AFigears.
It's an old French word. It means lawyer. Oh, for fucks. I had a cheesy figure lawyer.
I don't know. I'm talking like that. Anyway. What is coming up on the show?
You keep diverting yourself. You keep distracting me with your snatch material. I like it. And then I get carried away.
No, what we're doing this week is we have a thing called the price of shite. Well, we go to a charity shop. We buy some things and then we have to guess the prices. However, what we do this week is a little bit of a face-off.
You've bought some items. I bought some items. I have. We're going to guess the prices of each other's items to see which one is the best.
Guess in numbers, go on. We're going to go. Mano. Oh, mano.
Oh, yeah. This is Mano. Oh, mano. Oh, mano.
Nice. It's not going to be a crisis. Mano. I'm grabbing my luggage.
You think you're going to win then? Yeah. That's a display of confidence. Yeah.
What's peacocking? Peacock. I'll put the arms up. It's good.
They're well, we know crisis. I'll present as well. Oh, don't present. It's not around you.
They get my arse out and put it right up against your face. That's not peacocking. That's the opposite. What is presenting?
No, what's opposite mean? Boom, boom, boom, indeed. What's the opposite of opposite of life? That's good, isn't it?
No, it's the same. Same is. Or can you have an opposite of the opposite? Yeah.
I like it. I don't think it has a true and to name. Because you get it. What's the opposite of opposite?
It'll be a tone opposite. No, it's not what we said. No. Don't say no.
I'm like, well, what is the opposite? There is no word with no opposite. I don't. I broke it.
Now it's how nouns won't. Now it's how nouns don't have opposites. No, like bottle. What's the opposite of the bottle?
That's good. If you put that into AI, like you say what's the opposite of the nothingness or the no set. Yeah. Then monsters come out of the AI machines.
Oh, they come and get it off. Get it off. Be your man. Get off.
Get off. Make an oven. Like an oven. Make an oven.
Make an oven. Like an oven. Be a drain. What is it?
Get off. 23. 3. 3.
3. 3. 3. 3.
3. 3. 3. 3.
3. 3. 3. 3.
3. 3. The scoring for the price of strike game on cheap show copyrighted is say I guess the price of one of your items will. Yes.
And I get the price exactly right. He said two pound. It was two pound. Then you would get two points.
And his two points are between two. The swings are the things that we strive for. If he had got that right, I would say between between. And you'd know that means two points.
And they're secure. They're not taken away from you. And they're indivisible. They're indivisible.
They're like the atoms of the cheap show universe. Like Lego bricks. Clicking together to create one big satisfying hole. But Eli, what?
Let's just say the item was two pound. But I guess, let's just say for example, one pound is 75 or two pound 25. Then you would be, I was 25 P. I'll either way.
What happened if you were anywhere in that 50 P range surrounding the nubbin point of the actual price? It was 25 P. If you think about it, the actual band is 50 P. Why?
Is it across the board? Yeah. I'm saying 25 P. Either way, it's a mass man.
25 P. Either way, high or lower. 25 P. Yeah, 50 P.
Yeah, 50 P. The agribs. It all amounts to the same thing Paul. One between.
One between. One between. I'm going to quit going by. I've got a special, you've got a fourth item which you might need to get to.
That's right. I have a standby item. I have a standby item. Yeah.
I have a standby item. I'll stand by item. I'll stand by item. Well, let nobody get's you.
I gotta stand by item. Who did that? I'll stand by you. I hated that.
Even in the darkest hour. I feel very musical today. I hated that song. Oh no no no no.
OK, Google. No, I'll stand by you. No it's not going to no. It wasn't.
It wasn't. It wasn't. You're wrong. Who was it?
Like in Celine? It's like Salindian, it's like the car I lost something like that, it's not it's not called I'll stand by you. That's on either. I'll stand by you, it says that in the chorus.
I don't know. I'll say I'm a mystery. It's a mystery. That's a mystery.
It's a mystery. It's a mystery. It's a mystery. I thought that's totally during the pandemic.
She got her boobs out on YouTube. We all did mate. She ain't unique. Right.
If you just crack up with the price of shine, we've got it all sorted. That's right. And that's right. The pretenders.
It was Chrissy Hines with the pretenders with I'll stand by you. Actually, and the song is called Good pop from the pretenders, great pop mate, great. Brass and pocket was another one of this. And do you have any more pretenders songs that you like?
One they did with UB40. I did not like that. No, that was a big hit. I got Ubabe as well, didn't they?
I got Ubabe as well, didn't they? I got Ubabe as well, didn't they? It's a terrible song. I don't like it.
Well anyway, this is not the UB40 Chrissy Hines podcast. This is the price of strikes. Now, I went to, for my three items, I went to Kentish Town. There's a few charity shops on that street.
I love it. I'm very familiar with it. My dad works in one of those charities. I saw you, Dad.
You did? No, you didn't. He's always in the back. Yeah, he's always in the back.
Look at it, books and then bring them out and put the books back around the back again. Shut up now. Shut up now. I've been trying to board it up now.
He puts the... He's going this shop. I did. I did.
I did. I did. I did. I did.
I did. I did. I did. I did.
I did. I did. I did. I did.
I did. I did. I did. I bought three items and I can tell you that the ceiling for these items, ten pounds, all together, I spent no more than ten pounds.
You are in a lower ceiling. Oh. Okay, good. All right.
I bought mine around Green Laynes and Haring gay. Okay. I've noticed, I don't know about you, Paul, but as an aficionado and indeed you are as well. Charity shops, charity shops.
There is a glut of items after the Christmas break in London in Charity Chops. It's really a delight. It's all sorts of stuff. It's raised my faith in charity shops again in the interest they provide.
All sorts of things. I saw that Ravensburger cat mouse game thing. It's spinning. Like an action thing that we could do on a video maybe.
I saw a card game called Jewel. OK. Which is like a card game. I don't know.
I mean, make sense. The minute word card is used, I'm checking out. I can't do card games. Well, you can still have to do my segment where I do card games.
Yeah, but that's fine. But you have to still come up with that segment. I'm not going to give it to you to do. That's on your own volition, mate.
Go on. Get on with it. Oh, well. So you went into the green lanes and you bought three items.
Oh, there's an North London hotspot which we love. And we know it was a fucked up little place. I think mine was mine's age concerned, British art foundation. I've actually got to the point now where I know which charity shops have got the higher prices and which could give you good deals and all of these ones, basically.
Mine is still a random factor thing. Reminds still a random factor. Mine. Yeah, I tend to find it sometimes you go in and write everything's, you know, mine and candid.
Yeah. Did you go to mine and candid? No, I'm just saying mine in general, sorry. You tend to go to one store and it could be prices really low.
And you go, wow, then you go to like one maybe closer to Central Town. It's like, oh, why is this a 10? Yeah. And sometimes it's just outrageous.
They don't know what they're doing. But I need to say, mine and candid, that's an independent one. That's not associated with other mines. I've been thinking about volunteering.
They're looking for people. Do it. They seem like my kind of people. Yeah, into looters, drug power, drug power, drugs, alcoholics, drug coverings, scumbags, wastefuls, looking leeches upon society.
Oh, I had a thought the other day, label. I like there's a guy in there who wears tie-dye and he's blonde and he plays like proper psych rock. No, I know that guy. Yeah.
He's a tag all those weird, very type hat things on. No, you're thinking that other guy, he's a pretentious. Anyway, I love that shop because it has a fun fact and it is independent. That's why.
But sometimes the price is weird and they're right. It's not the best. But I love visiting there. I'm just saying it's a rich season for the charity shop visitor.
For cund. It's a fack on season. So we have written our scores down of our prices on little bits of paper. We've given each other ceiling warnings.
And we've done that. And we've also put the scores out of the way under our mascot Stitched together by Nikki. Nikki. And it is the representation in quilted zone form of mulchy fibis.
He got it right. He got it right. He called him Tumpy before. I always called him Tumpy.
No, you always called him Tumpy. Or Grumpy. Or Grumpy. Either way, he's mulchy.
I say, hello mulchy. He's a gimbal grub. You know mulchy. I be a gimbal grub.
You know, after our scores today, mulchy. Give me the opportunity. Oh, he's getting a bit... Have you lost it?
He's different. He sounds different. We've all got basically David Bell, yeah. But you need to be more sort of our pagan.
A little more little gravel grew. I will be looking after the prices for you. Thank you, mulchy. He's on them.
He's sitting on them. He's guarding them. We can't change them. We can't cheat.
They're locked in. They're locked in. And I've actually used these real stickers from my items. I've also done that.
Hey, five. Yes. So without any further ado, let's crack on and present our findings. Right, Eli, you're going first.
I've got item number one for you here. Oh, mint on card. Well, it's not on card. It's top.
There's a card up there at the top. Top shop socks. Top shop socks. Gold.
I don't know what kind of fabric that is. It's very unsettling. Gold fabric counter. Is it going to be confitatory?
Glittery. That's what I thought. But I will be wearing them. Do you remember a few months ago?
I got top shops. Keep talking. You've got those Ghostbusters pants. Yes.
And you put them on. And I'm going to put these on. So I've got them off. Gold.
Because I want to get in on this dressing up, man. Just roll with my toes now. You can take pictures of your feet and put them online. Don't look at my toes.
You can like, spot on them. Handing the socks. I'll take a picture of this. Oh, there's a bit of it.
There's not. Oh, there's a bit of it. And you got them from a charity shop. Even though they're top shop on the rack.
Yeah. They're just like, yes. Someone caught them and didn't want them. They're quite fiction.
Now, take your shirt off. Just roll your shirt off. Just shut up. Just undo your trousers a little.
Go on. Ha ha ha. Hang on. One more then.
Are you getting me in there? No. No. It's a very catchy looking sock out.
I like a little bit of colour. They'll wear off quite quickly, though, with all the walking and shoveling and gold. It's not because it's actually quality, because it's actually the thread itself, rather than something that's been applied to it. You're socks.
Anyway, how much are you writing the prices down, by the way? You're in charge of prices. You're writing everything scores down. OK, so we get to slightly different columns here, because we don't usually everybody play against each other in this way or have them for a while.
How about I write down yours and you write down mine? OK. That way we can keep it separate. Good idea.
All right. On the back of it. Here we go. Gold socks.
Yeah. And Paul's guests. What's your guests there? So, it's a centennial together.
I'm going to say these were two feet. Two feet, even the nose. Two feet on the nose for the socks. Two feet.
Two feet on the nose for the socks. Two feet on the nose for the socks. My turn. Yeah.
Let's see it. I already think just on quality light to the line. I'm going to wipe the floor with the light this week. No, it's not only socks, man.
Fine, but boy howdy. I started with my most boring thing. This is better, is it? It's going to be something gadget.
Oh, it is better. You're right. It's a squeezy fire engine toy. It's a lamp.
It's got a little lamp in it. I love this. I have this. I can plug it in, but basically it's a very dim, soft, yellowy light.
You click on that. Basically, there's a rubber fire engine, very stylized in form. Blocky, like a child's toy. Like a child's first fire engine toy.
A wooden toy, yeah. But it is rubber. Rubble, latex, I think is the thing. Pleasing.
It's a pleasing shape. And inside, it has a plastic light bulb. Does this work? Yeah, go.
I didn't know it charged, actually. I thought you had to have it plugged in, but there you go. Well, you meant to kind of slip it into the bottom properties. Yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, it eliminates the whole thing. I love this. I love child's night lights. I know.
I collect them. I'm making my room into the whole, uh, really outsider art. Yeah. Yeah.
No, no, no, no. Crime scene waiting to be discovered. Well, I think we should do some video editing there. The house of pickles, because it's where everyone wants.
Well, they seem like socks. Look, this is a great item, Paul. You're right. It is.
It's a little more exciting item. But how much? £10 ceiling. £10 ceiling on my three eyes.