Right, I've been listening Paul. Yes, about to the podcast. Two recent episodes. Right, that's good.
Looking. The very least you could do is I'll comment online. Don't. I've decided.
I've decided. Don't like comments. I'm going to be a nice person. And I'm going to be here to support you in this endeavor.
No, no, no, no. I'm here for you. I won't fly. I'm here for you.
That's like when Mordwyn's school, he kiss. It ruins the show. You can't do that. It's like when Ross and Rachel got together.
Ruins the show. If we start kissing and cuddling and being nice. That's the end of the cheap show. That was great what you did then.
Well, the references to the night like I love that. I love that. I love that. I'll hear for you mate.
When the moonlight didn couple kissed. It's a totally ex-Maddian Bruce Willis. 10 out of 10 for me. What a funny co-host of years.
Oh, hang on. Hang on. We're going to start this again. I'm going to get my phone.
Hang on. Hang on. What the fuck? Who is it?
Is it bullshit? Hang on. Why is John Gonti got my phone? I'm not going to have my phone.
John Gonti. I'm not sure if I answer. He's useless. He's useless.
You know what? If I don't answer it now, he'll just stop calling for other shows. He's calling for me. Not even doing food.
Let me get it. Let me get it. And then that way he doesn't try and call us all fucking day. Hang on.
Here we go. Hello, John. Yes. What do you want me?
Oh, hello there. John Gonti. Hello. John Gonti.
Hello. John Gonti. Hello. Yes.
No, it's John Gonti. All right. Why are you calling me? I'm talking to him.
Is that Paul? Yes. Paul Eli has just popped out for no particular reason for at least one to two minutes. Right.
I've got my segment coming up. I haven't decided on the name yet. I'm very excited actually. I'm excited to be working with you.
All right. All right. But can I just say this right now? For you any further?
You do not have a segment in the cheap show podcast and you probably never will. I don't understand because I was only the impression that I'd been given a single phone review. Sticking a phone review. No, no, no.
Who's who's who said that to you? No, I wouldn't have said that. I haven't said that. Richard Brentoff.
You know him? He can fuck off. He is not associated with this show anymore. I don't know what he's been telling you, but he's not evolved in the podcast.
Well, he produced the cheap show and he had a 33% stake. And he was the manager of segments. So he said he had an official title and he said, yes, John, you can have your own 20-30 minute depending on running time. Food review segment.
And I was thinking maybe the name. I'm going to stop you there because no, you're not. He can't give you that. And on the no circumstances will you be getting a segment that runs 30-40 minutes on your shit food.
I'm sorry, mate. No. Well, it's going to be used to be considered very posh. John.
Oh, no. What are you going to help? John, I'm going to do it. I'm going to use the phone.
I'm doing something very important now. I'm not talking about the cheap show, boys. You what? Talking to the cheap show, boys.
I'm doing it. I'm not going to raise my voice with you again, John. Don't go back downstairs. I'm going to go call my mama.
Oh, God, I hate her mouth. Anyway, I've got the internet, it's melting here. Paul, I need to do a review. No, no, no, no, you're not doing your segment in the show.
You don't understand why you don't get that. Well, I'm a decision to make because Richard Brentoff is the executive producer. What get this brand off is going around telling characters they can have segments on our show in lieu of like paper for the fucking Con't house or something is that what he said to John country? No, he basically is said to apparently John Gonty has a property and apparently apparently like he's allowed to have one of the properties now The brand offs content how can't you lose a segment?
Where was he? Fucking on me. Yeah, no, we're not getting involved in this you're gonna speak to brand off So I'm gonna text him now. Let's go to the credits and then I'll text him join the music alright Oh, this is a sticky pickle this one cheap show Oh dear everyone it's another cheap show coming down your ear via the medium of sound audio Gloopage down the ear hole blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah no I'm not gonna do that I promised myself I wouldn't giggle like a cunt this week.
That's a shame a lot of people do love it when you giggle like a con It's especially spicy when you've made yourself giggle like a cunt. You're so so satisfied with your wit Well, I say the word wit I mean like catastrophic brain failure to deliver anything of Cuba. Okay Paul They've knives around are they I mean I say I've lost the rhythm you've lost the rhythm we get the rhythm down cheap show cheap show I started my show. Chipshough, he's up for it.
Chipshough, Chipshough, Chipshough, Chipshough. Paul, usually at this point, around this area of the port, around this area. The feck-hand mulch, or mulch, the game of the way... Oh, I'm not making any sense to it.
No, but I'm going to let you carry on to the club. You like it, you love it. I'm coming out and see you all of it. It's like giving the drunk driver car keys, isn't it, with you?
Brrrrr! What's out? Oh, that's only a fucking bin, no, it's an old lady. Right.
I think that was the... I think that was the real spit-safe, everybody. What got you, the old lady bit? I'm not funny now.
You cannot! You cracked up, mate. Anyway, usually around this... I feel dirty.
Usually around this part of the podcast. I'm soaked. Literally, I've never seen a more natural spit-tag in my whole life. It's because I've got a choke on it, I've got to call it.
I usually ask this round... Around this part of the podcast, I usually ask, what have we got coming up on the show, Paul? But I can see mulchy-fibbage there. So, I've got a little feeling, it's a little tingle-tingle on the bottom of the ball sack.
It is. It is, again, the most celebrated of segments of the show. It is the price of shite, so we'll be playing that. I'm a playing that all episode long today.
It's a segment all episode. We have a tat-craptacular to get through today. OK, Paul, is it mano-mano? As in, are we...
We're getting to play against each other. I'm feeling confident, because I just nipped it last night. I didn't know. But that won between.
Sometimes it's like football, isn't it? One goal. That's all it is. Change a match.
Here's the thing, though, with you, because you have such a worthless, bottomless life of abject disappointment. A worthless... A bottomless life. How is it?
How is that related to the other words around it? Worthless? You're like fine, it's worthless. And bottomless.
There are no depths to which you won't sink. Oh, dear. Yes. So in that case...
I never get to the bottom. Yes, I think I was quite apo-sight about that. Well, thank you very much. I believe that bottomless.
When you say bottomless... A person with no legs. No, there's that. But also, these days, that word is only used with branches, where you get pissed up for something.
I'm sorry, Tarka. Did you not want to talk about brunch? Bottomless pizza. That's just when you get just some tomato sauce.
If anything, you just get a ring of crust. Ring of crust. Like... What's your front door back?
Back. Like me asshole. I'm not going to mention this now. If you're interested in helping support cheap show at 500 episodes at 500 episodes...
Okay, and this is the first time this is coming up. Yeah, keep your diaries free for August because... Oh, of August. Well, middle of August.
We're going to be doing something a little bit different. It'll be a stream. And it'll also be a live show. It'll be a stream live show.
Now, details are still very, very sketchy right now. But that's the plan. So if you want to come and see us live, it's going to be middle of August. If you can't, hey, you might be able to watch it for wherever you are in the globe.
Live. Great. That's exciting news, Paul. Yeah, I'll hear for you.
I'll hear to support you in that one. I'll tell you what, I'll take you down. I'm going to take you all the way down. Down to town.
Down to town. Down to fucking bone-smacking town. Oh, the hittickler. Yeah.
Just... Oh, that's a noise. That's the noise. No, no, no.
This is a noise. Oh, he's a joke. No, no, no, no, no. Gee, joke.
That's a joke. That does work. That's a great fire door. Nice.
That's a flatter. I'm rigid. And then shop at the same time and I'm concentrating all this energy deep within my kind of inner core. Paul, if there are a letter that comes with this because we have a bespoke price of shite, am I'm not right?
You are right. And I was just thinking calm down. Pace yourself. We'll get to it when I put the sound of it.
You said the fucking thing. This is the thing I fucking said. And I'll carry on saying things. Words.
Thoughts. I'm going to stop my... You drink your piss. Go on drinking booze.
Apple and raspberry piss. Drink it down. Go on. Glug, glug, jug of man.
Get it down. Get it down. It's not going to happen mate. I made you speak down the word.
I went over my neck and chest. You really did. Like a pure fountain of water sprayed out. Just let's say I'd run over an old lady.
It wasn't just that. It was the way it was like bid. It was just like... It was just funny.
It was a sudden pullback reveal of it all. You know what I mean? The classic pullback reveal. Yeah, you like it.
Pullback and reveal, don't you? Yeah, I do. Right. Yeah, we're ready to go.
I want to see some stuff. You know what I was thinking about? Just before we moved on. No, I was thinking about it.
The right momentum going into that sound effect. Now Eli has deflated it. I'm quite a materialist. I like stuff, don't I?
We do like stuff. We do like stuff. We do like stuff. We like stuff.
I'm Jay-Darr. It's all material, isn't it? I'm a material girl. It's funny how physicality is being fetishised by the other generations now.
Vinyl, vinyl, vinyl, vinyl. You know that? Vinyl hit another record sales. Yeah.
Because everyone's fucking pining it. I told we had this discussion. It's because kids have been told to expect a lot of money on nothing. I did it all nothing.
So they're going back and going with my owning thing. Is that all right? Even if it's a fucking CD or a vinyl box set. Can I have a thing that I own with money?
Yeah, that's mine. And I can break or I can... Now you want to talk about the environment pressure and stuff and the financial issues on vinyl records and the bootstrap? Well, the thing is, you know what prompted this talk?
I was seeing something about Taylor Swift, right? What she does for every release, she puts out several different versions on vinyl. But cynically, just because she knows you've got these super fans will just buy it for no reason. And that's what it becomes like waste.
And cynical waste. It's like when video games go, okay, here's the game and it's 70 quid. But the deluxe package is 80. But the super deluxe is actually 100 pound.
But you can get the platinum edition which comes with free codes and this and that's like... And sometimes they're little mini figurines or whatever. It's exactly the same thing. It's pure marketing bullshit.
To get money out of here. Right, well that's about just... I did not... Do your little clappy thing again.
Cheap show. Hang on, hang on. Cheap show. It's the fucking price of shake.
It's the fucking price of shake. Here's the fucking price of shake. Here's the fucking price of shake. Oh, it's the fucking price of shake.
And that's right. I like that. That's right. That's absolutely right.
I can see two pens over there, Paul. Two pens because we have been provided with two pens. We've got 12 white. Don't bolt the horse before it leads the stable.
By the way, yeah. Frotting, not docking. It's fritting. It's fritting.
It's rotting. It's rutting. It's rubbing up. No, no, but it's not.
I can get a rack and I can stack three pens on top of mine. On top of your work. I can get... If I stretch it out, I can get...
Oh, right. Let's be serious. Maybe three Crayolas. I can probably get three.
Yeah, right up the canvas sack. Right. Pass me the pen. I didn't know I was...
I did not. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to do something I don't like. I'm going to be purposely as unfunny as possible.
To kill that idea. How will that be? Let's just take the podcast episode. Oh, I've done that many times.
I see. I feel like a little peek behind the beef. Stinky beef curtain. Right.
We've got a box. And even though it is a small box, it holds many delights. It's not the smallest to me. They printed all this stuff out on stickers.
There's some reason they just done that. And then there's another one over the back. There's a whole Edmund sticker. I like that.
I'll put pictures of the website as I've added. Details like that. It's a sort of stencil style. And there's a monochromatic picture of that.
Look at that. There's a big e-like face and a big pull face and a logo. Very good. Right.
Anyway. And then there's two scorecards. You'll be there in that minute. But here's the letter.
And it comes from Mark. Thank you, Mark. Dear cheap show. I'm glad you enjoyed the price of Shite Xtentu a little while ago.
So I've prepared another more unusual one for you. e-like also appreciated the Soviet pins. So I dug out some more for him. In this box, you'll find the pins and the super special edition 22 and under AliExpress price of Shite.
Yeah. This is what it's called. The super special edition 22 and under AliExpress price of Shite. Rules e-like.
There are rules. Okay. I'm ready to hear this. Just so people listening who may not be a longtime listener, be aware, is that we have a point system and they are called between.
So it's between some of these games. So let's just say the price is two pound. We guess two pound. What's going to happen?
You get two for twins for that pull. It's a higher amount of paper doing it in the basic rule system. In the basic rule system. But let's just say it was two pounds.
But I guessed, for example, 175 or 225. It was close, but not quite right. It's at whole 50p range ranging from 25p below the actual price up to 25p more than the actual price. If any guess that you make Paul falls within that range, you get one between.
One between. Which is the least amount of between you can buy or get in the basic rule set system that we have established for the last 10 years. Here we go. Here are extra rules at Marcus giving us that's what you've heavily implied.
I had to at least set up the betwings before I could potentially extend upon them with the following rules. Okay. Let's hear the following rules then. Rule one.
Every item is under two pounds. Well, that's a rule. You fucking lose me now. You're a guideline.
He could have said. He could have. They didn't. Right.
I like the pins and everything. Bloody hell. Waste any more time listening to Eli. And move on.
Right, too. All items have been rounded up or down to the nearest multiple of five or 10p. Oh, okay. For example, an 84p item will be rounded up to 85 whilst a one pound and two pence item will be rounded down to one pound.
But how do we get the two pence then? No, whatever the final score is, what he's saying is, either the final score is, it's the score is, is the item was one pound two pence. He's calling it a pound. So all we have to do is guess one pound.
And then we get the two pence. That wasn't the actual price. Wow. Marcus falling for my graces and just two little bullet points so much.
It's all right, Marco. I won't give him the lovely pins. Oh, no, I want the pins. Because he's obviously on a grateful oink.
Oink. Oink. Yeah, you're going to pick it. Yes, a pig face oink man.
Right. And the last one. You can decide how close you want the double between threshold to be. So if you say five p the way, the right price, but I think we stay with it.
They're all under two pounds. That seems absolutely fine. Twenty five p works for that kind of price range definite. I guess if we wanted to challenge, we could say ten p the way, the price.
I don't want it to challenge. I don't want it to be there as well. Whereas I would like to cheat very much. Yes.
Well, at least give myself sporting odds. What do you think? I honestly, we extend it. We get more between.
It's a high point. Yeah, I know. But also feels like we're kind of like, you know, pushing ourselves. Especially for that.
Did he say none of them were more than two pence? All two pounds and under. Two pounds and under. So at least one of them is two pence.
The other rule, the alternative rule that long time distance will know turns up these days is what we call the quid scambit. Yeah. There is a special thing where if the item is a quid and the quid scambit is in place on top of the basic rule, then you will get double on the nose points, which as we know from just explaining it now is two between. You get double that, which would be four between.
Exactly. But that's basically the basic rule set though. It's trial. It's a mutation.
Right. Good luck trying to guess the prices because they're very little rhyme or reason to them. There's an awful lot of shit for you to price up. I hope you enjoy the pins and sorry about the format of this letter.
I haven't got regular printer anymore. As I'm too tight to buy one hence why there are these little sticky things, printing labels. So with all that being said, anything you want to add? You want to try that?
He was always marking around with his printer. That's why I got all the stickers. Yeah, I like it. I like it.
If it was a 5P or 10P we did five. I think we should sit with 25P. That's classic isn't it? Next.
Oh, you're going to quits gambit. Yeah. All right. Because there's a lot of items.
We should play the Quits Gambit. It's a fun rule. I don't have any items there are. Oh my God.
So only one of those can be a quits gambit. It's a bigger risk. Isn't it, you know what I mean? It's like you've got three items.
You can roll the dice a bit more can't you? Yeah. I'm just going to say, my god, how many items are there? I've got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, there's 24 things in that box, is it the target?
You know, only look at teeny, teeny items, okay. Okay, cool, that has to be a record for amount of items done in one episode on a price of shice, shice price, shice price of chike then. That was almost a sentence. It's almost a sentence and I got there in the end.
We all got there in the end. Now, all I'm gonna do is, before we get to the game, I'm gonna hunt out the pins, I'm gonna do a little pin evaluation at us all once, all right, and then we'll get into the game. So, all about them pins? Right, let's reveal the pins.
Are they pins or are they badges? Batch, just badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, broaches, broaches, broaches, badges, French magnets. It's a new segment of the show called Broaches, Batch, just badges and pins. Fridge magnets, oh, I'm a Fridge magnet.
Fridge magnets. You'd hope a Fridge wasn't held up with magnets. No, like it was very powerful magnets, maybe, would be enough, one big magnet. Electronic magnet, what do you know, those electromagnets?
Oh yes, that's right, they want a current for it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. But then if the power got cut, terrible disaster, not a very good idea. It's a good idea to make a bridge out of magnets.
Never make a bridge out of magnets or Lego or grass. Right, we got Pidge's badges, broaches, Pidge's badges, broaches, broaches, Pidge's badges, broaches, and a bunch of them. And the badge, come on, let's see. The big one, the big one, the big round one.
Right, it's bad. These are badges from Mark and I love you for it, Mark. Thank you. So the six badges at all.
Lenticular alerts, lenticular alerts. This is a lenticular badge, everyone. And it looks to be a football team or something. Yeah.
But it's Russian, again, Russian. Yeah. And it's going from four little boys' faces with caps on in one. And then there's a symbol, like an anchor, double anchor symbol.
See if you can, you agree with it. Oh, yeah. I could try and lens it, right? Let me lens it.
Yeah. So you can have words as well. Jesus, get it out. Out.
Right for the top of the skin. Ah, right. Five Russian USR plastic ventures, or their clown badges, the same thing at all, but they're very similar. I'm just saying.
They look like little boy faces. Yeah, translate. So the thing on the top says, learn. Yes, a school badge, isn't it?
Yeah, it's probably like a school badge. What does the thing on the bottom say? Swimming. Oh, swimming badge.
Oh, nice little bit detective work. Perhaps the anchors are to do with that. He's swimming learning to be on a boat. Yeah, maybe.
Anyway, that's a nice thing. I like a, I like a lenticular. I'm a fan of lenticular. You know that, Paul?
Next one is, I'll describe this one. So little logo of a place in Russia, looks like a port. And then on the top of the badge, just attached with a little chain, is what looks like a seagull or something. So here you go, Eli.
This is a vintage enamel pin badge, featuring the monument of the scottled ship in Sefesta Paul. Another, yes, an idea for the Soviet Union area. Another marine thing. The actual clasp is on the back of the bird.
Yeah. It's hanging off the bird. It's having a clever. And this just says Sefesta Paul, yeah.
It's like a seagull. You're right. It's a white bird. That's really nice.
Yeah, really nice vintage badge. Thank you. Very, very nice indeed. So this is a little badge for Volograd.
Yeah, and it shows a little sort of monumental building, a bit like sort of a castle or something. And it's got a little metal, a star metal on the badge. Oh, yeah. It's interesting.
It's like referencing another type of badge. It's because apparently Volograd is known as the hero city. A symbol of the city's heroic defence during Second World War. It features the iconic Motherland calls monument, which is what that tower is.
It's quite brutalist, isn't it? It's quite modernist. It's quite sort of functional. Do you know what I mean?
In the building, portrayed, they're poor. It's quite sort of stark, isn't it? Yeah, but you can see why. It's like it's a nice...
It's proud of where it comes from. Yes, but it's no ornamentation on it. Right, here's an ex-one. I like the little green patterns to this.
Are you going to take photos of this? I will do later, but right now I'm just... Oh, lovely enamel. Lovely enamel.
It's a lovely bit of enamel. It's really nice. Green and blue. So turquoise, almost.
But translucency. You know, like glassy. That's my favourite kind of enamel by the way. That one.
It's one of my favourite ghostors by the one. I had to say my effect on the logo. You can see the metal underneath the red. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This one is a pin badge for... I don't know how you pronounce this one, so apologies. But L'Wim'em, City Pin. It's a coat of arms at the City of Russian City badge.
And I can't... I don't know how you pronounce it. It's a city in Russia. I'm trying to make out what that symbol is on the coat of arms.
It's a force carrying an axe. Ah, that's right. If you want to look at that picture... It is a horse carrying an axe.
Weird. That's why I couldn't make it out. What are they saying about horses? They have big choppers.
You know, because horses are well fucking on, mate. You made me think about it again, Paul. What? The smagma ball that woman took out of a horse's car.
I mean, that is your memory. The waxy smagma ball, though, so all once. You sound like... It sounds like you haven't seen it twice.
I only saw it once. I've changed it once. It was. I can't stop thinking about it.
Next pin badge, describe what you see and I'll give you the context. This is a sort of shield shaped again. Like a coat of arms. Yeah, badge.
In two segments, both portraying mammalian characters. One, it looks like a horsey on top and a horsey on bottom. I've seen that video. Shut up.
All birdies flying around horsey head. Two horseys. One cup. This is a vintage pin badge featuring the coat of arms for the Russian city of Buzzalook.
Buzzalook, but not quite sure how he pronounced that. The top half it picks are running martin on a silver... That's right, it's a martin. I thought it was going to be like a foxy thing.
Representing the region's historical wealth of fair animals. The bottom half shows a golden deer on a yellow field. I didn't give one of those animals. Symbolising the teeth.
No, I couldn't. I thought they were horses. But that, I didn't think that one was a horse's head. Horses.
Shut up. Golden Deer on a yellow field, symbolising beauty, grandeur and life. There's a collectible item of the city. And then the final one?
Final badge. Final badge. Here we go. You don't mind me using it and co-opting it.
Almost brutalist design. What do you mean? What's the format? Very kind of utilitarian.
I know what you mean. It's lovely. S, Z, D. No, it's F and D.
S, Z, D. It's sort of a navy and an animal. Navy and silver. Navy and an animal.
Navy and an animal. It wasn't worth it. Very few things you say are. A whole smegna bull.
Snagma Bull, Cockbitch, Gubbitch, Gubbitch, Gubbitch, comes up a lot with you, doesn't it? And you? I'd never say Gubbitch. You just said it then?
I said it in response to your use of it. Yeah, you've said Gubbitch on your own. I never say Gubbitch on my own. You have.
You've said it. I never say Gubbitch in the dark. I never say Gubbitch in the dark. Make flat-haunted.
Right, that's brilliant, the SDD, Mikes Blue colour, lovely Blue Dark Navy colour. Is it something to do with the Navy? No, can we tell you? It is a vintage pin badge featuring the logo of the Slovak or Czech railway company.
excellent the acronym SZD stands for and again apologies for the poor pronunciation Sbrava Zellinik AS railway administration or joint stock company in that organization that manages and operates the railway infrastructure of the Czech Republic the local designers and older variants used in the 1970s very much the euro and there you go I like that one can I have that one you can have all the others yeah yeah yeah you got you stuck in me and you bastard you did that on purpose you know I did don't gel them what a bitter little nasty pill that was to swallow oh I ask you for one thing I don't ask a lot for me like I barely won him around anyway shut up and we fucking are sticking Russian rusty pins in me just for that I'm gonna excore some fucking hate between against you now yeah I'm gonna drink some water why you say something fucking witty and I'll spit it out again I can't I can't do it now I'm nearly died but don't mess with maver nature bro you were sure to death everybody fucking around don't try talking about full of water it's not clever you fucked around and found out almost fucking out I'm not doing that again I can so funny this moment so far well done you least I've done something funny let the games begin right we've both had our scorecard it's quite daunting all those items there there's not gonna be a lot to talk about on some of these items you can't just go down yeah now some more interesting than others he's gonna guess the first price of the first item out of the box okay three two one one three two one this is cooked paper I get to decide and I want Eli to go first now the answers are on this little envelope and if one of those like plastic envelopes that's glued so you can see I've cuz you would know if I got into this and try to look at that that's a good job he's done there but to double double protect these from any malfeasance mochi fibage is here on standby I was ever to go to the point hello mochi oh you give me what you do I will do you go hello mochi thank you thank you thank you are you doing alright mochi oh yeah I've crippled today and I've grumbled today you know I'm gonna throw I might even blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah you go over there anyway no problem you like to grip a little gravel so I'm just gonna not go by the order on the sheet I'm gonna go by whatever I'm reaching and pull out well that might be a bit of a problem that might be a bit of a problem I'm probably problematic problematic they won't be problematic they just won't be problematic and I watching my problematic stop being static the whole thing's problematic problematic if I just pull out and read it quick otherwise I'm scuffling a box it's not gonna be hard to pull to that go alright what's that on the list is it I could pull something out no you can't mate I can't what you're saying it's not pull out a ball no it's not what you've got enough to pull out look come on just get something out of the box it's a fluffy thing oh what's this I think look at our list oh yeah this is rabbit is lamb is lamb is lamb is a headband lamb is headband that's said to low was weird here lamb head lamb is a headband look I'm gonna try and sport it what do you do with it I'm trying to see what it's officially called here so we got oh kitty cat headband yeah you wear it like that I think you wear it vertically I guess it is go yeah I think you look good can I try it all that must be it it's a piece of cotton sort of playful costuming excellent sadness on your face you know I look like the sun ghost of Jacob Molly you don't really sad don't you know you can talk it otherwise it's noisy okay that's a good first item so basically just describe it to people it's a headband but the ears don't work unless you wear it vertically yeah see with a headband oh actually oh yeah that works that works it works I'll do another picture I'll take it with you take it can I wear it properly though as well that's much more fetching isn't it you look like a seer like a lesson yeah that's what I was going for at the last thing some fucking poor victim sees you walking there with that how much Eli is the guess first is the band gitty cat headband so I'm gonna go no yeah you have the guess first don't you remember everything I'm gonna tell each other I guess is even do it of course we've always done that why would you stop it weird because I'm going for the listener to not know what we're doing you know think about them for a change you want me to say it first then yeah again as we've always thought it for ten years but it's weird we don't I don't think we've exactly had this for yeah we are definitely we're just doing it because you've got a little bit of them yeah I know so stop fucking going on just get your answers out trying to think I don't think this is gonna be much fifty-p Oh okay I was gonna say 160 okay so we're gonna put down yeah I'm going with one more each other's cards now that's what we should do yeah okay that's okay to make it clear yeah all right next one I'm gonna get another thing out two things if well it's a pair of socks it's a pair of goose socks everyone I think not much else to say they pair of socks with goose on I mean not they haven't got pictures of goose on as if your foot was a goose yeah if your foot was going up the neck and the head of a goose it fills you up it that is a sock of a goose goose head socks oh that's nice isn't it I like that you can do a puppet show so they're just fine socks with yellow beaks and look like a goose is there like that untitled goose game goose now Paul did we decide are we allowed to guess one pound only once during this whole list or multiple times but only hit it well that's no that's no the Queen's gambit is if you only can guess one pound once otherwise it's not the gambit is your guess first on these you know really I'm gonna call this one pound I wanted to as well I can't do anything you can't go with you on this poor all right copy you we are both playing our Queen's Gambit but no to them might be a quiz especially as he's rounding down I know I know you know what you'll still get a double if you hit one though right you just don't get one double I guess oh I see what you mean yes we could guess other items are a quid no no we can't get any more one pound items other items might be one pound but we can only put the quids gambit once yeah but that means we can't we think another item is a quid we can't guess it's a quid well even if we think it's a quid Paul you see what I mean there's an inconsistency here well it's your fault look we can just let's say there's so many items right it was three items wouldn't be an issue let me propose something here okay no the quid's gambit is if any of the items that you guess at three items are a quid yeah yeah and they all are yeah only get double between for one of them all right fine yeah only get a quid gambit for this yes okay and a quick answer a quid and also the price all over the place but this could be £1 10 pence we're both saying a quid there right right so you're saying now that we've both said quid's gambit there yeah we could guess another item is a quid but we're not we plan even if that item is a quid we don't get the quid's gambit no but if this wasn't a quid we wouldn't get the quid's gambit either no we can only play the quid's gambit one yes okay it's easier to implement that one we don't have 25 items and we want some so they're 75 I think we've got 20 more to go we gotta pick this up okay there's another pair of socks Eli look at these ones another pair I like these ones these are cats bollocks socks yeah the little cats on what's the top part of the sock the sock the bit that goes up your leg yeah the shaft of the sock has a at the back in fact if your leg it would be yeah has a cat against the car these are terrible man these are novelty the cats on and they got bollocks on the yellow bollocks which are a little bobbly bits that have been attached to the socks 3D cats bollocks and our soul yeah put your soul in there as well look portrayed by a nice little bit of cross stitch in that clever also how much so that there's a 3D element they are quite cleverly made this episode can be seven hours also the cat's tail on these socks poor comes over the lip it comes over the top there's a little bit of tension to detail it I know but you wouldn't wear these I would wear them I'm gonna wear them I'll wear them any time you like I need to guess first you are this time as well I can be more than a quit because I've got the bollocks on you always pay more for bollocks I noticed in general want to bump up the price add a pair of bollocks on the list cat bollocks socks just below the kitty headband I'm gonna say one pound five just it's my going to take too long and I'm bored of you right so there is no order to guessing we just guess at the same time I said at the beginning I'm just bored and what I'm not gonna play by these rules if you want to sit there and go oh oh it's just it's a terminal make fucking oh do you want to know what I guess without that may as well tell us about all that one pound fifty you're a total dick you've added more on for the balls to 25p and not you said 105 yeah that's silly well see what's the most between to the end of the day yeah Paul next item you're turning guess first I'm gonna undercut it and call you a boring cunt as well well fucking item that is sowed it is sad it's taking this long everybody but he's sowed I can't do it further right now how this fucking thing Epstein whoa it is a Jeffrey Epstein air freshener for your car and it says on the photograph of Epstein that's depicted on this air freshener this air freshener didn't hang itself do you know when you look at the world and you step back and you go oh yeah this is what a dystopia looks like fucking hell that's crazy that's just fuck I can't I want to know what it smells like but also I also don't want to know what it smells like you got to know what it smells like Paul does about too bad to be there yeah it's a working air freshener it just kind of smells soapy oh yeah very soapy yeah I guess normal air freshener I guess there you go what's your guess on the price I don't care you're boring flat this I don't give a shit oh God you boring cunt I'll tell you what I'm fucking guessing there is it I'm gonna say 25p Jeffrey dead steam air fresheners oh that makes it funnier so fair off you say 25p I'm gonna say 25p reveal the time price Eli 70 p 70 p 70 p come on come on get it out loads to go we're not even halfway through these I don't know what that is right this is made in China and it is a little executive toy depicting a tightrope oh yeah it's a balancing act balancing act that's right little it's a little you should see a lot more of this didn't you on people's desks and things yeah in the 80s and 90s these things were festooned upon desks this is a workstation model oh yeah no it looks dirty like almost cracker quality to let's see if it works I bet it does this is just called pendulum balancing yeah it's a little pendulum balance executive toys executive toy and there is it's balancing that's a bit even look like it's bad I mean you can't rock it before what all these to do yeah it's quite cool it's a little action there yeah Ricky rocky tiki tiki rocky tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki you should get some video that no really mate you've seen one rocking back and forth executive toy you've seen them all one pound 60 that will your price and that is yeah yeah it's not a bad choice that I'm gonna go with ATP I'm trying to be random with these prices and try to get the oh because I believe yeah he did say got the ball from Ali Express so the price is gonna be all over the fucking shop tell me real scrummit round in there because it's loads a little bit you'll get this one out the way this is a toy crab blue crab it's a small raising its pincers up open ready to attack it's quite nice it's just a little blue plastic crab who's getting first and this time I'll go first just gotta find a thing on the list oh wait there says crab pen holder oh yeah it does because that's why this is a raise you can get oh that doesn't balance very well does it there you go does the job I don't know why you need it I like that can I have this one yes you can have that one you can take home anything tonight you want that you pop that battery she insists I don't know that that's good right so crab pen holder 15p there's no roof on this no ceiling so we don't know if there's a parameter to go within it's just anything below too quick or below yeah that is a seal but no but it doesn't say a cumulative that's very not that useful is it no not always no sometimes you have a cumulative ceiling yeah everybody anyway it's a 50p for the grass this crab oh it's right top okay what are you saying I'm gonna say ding I'm gonna say 30p w w double me very cheap in that case on we crack the craptacular continues here we go he's going back into the box everybody what would be the next item on this price of shite extravaganza it's epic journey through the price of shite lands he's Frodo I'm bill bow is it bill bow Frodo they'll go in they'll go slow yeah it's another animal pro another plastic animal it's a fat crock oh it's a big fat crock and it's a little big fat crock it's a big fat little crock and he is quite podgey yeah you like crab or that better crab crab's got something to do weird the arms a little smaller yeah it's a weird squat fat crock I'm gonna say 75p I'm gonna say like 30p I'm gonna go with that you go into my price for the crab hold pen on I'm splitting my lease over underwhelming most underwhelming items so far it's just a fat crock it's not that good at a mold or paint job or come on we're doing three we'll do it's a two for two pims more pips separately but here two pips which one the hungriest cat pillar not this exact one a variation on it well that's a communist car pillar oh it's a eat the rich but that is nicked from the hungriest cat pillar yeah I've got one of them as well we both got one of them oh yes there it is yeah that's like the normal and this is a rip off but also and the coloring is different but the actual shape is nicked from that oh yeah it's very reminiscent of the original design if you don't know everybody it was a very famous very early young child's book from the 80s or 70s later fuck no I'm gonna say 70s earlier all the kids of a certain generation had it yeah and it was sort of like a little bits cut out the page well it's a whole all the way through it's right that the cat pillar is eating through things different bits of fruit and the caterpillar would eat through and they'd be holding the page and you could see it was brilliant a real cult classic they've used this for a sort of socialist message eat the rich eat the rich eat the rich eat the rich eat the rich eat the I do say because I actually stand by and believe it so a communist cat pillar job done next pin um this is a reference to something I'm sure is this is your did it it's a reference that's wrong on purpose yeah it is wrong on purpose because I keep talking it's like she is I has cheeseburger or something like that well yeah it is it's also I think it's a meme you think what's that mean I'm gonna well looking at it it's like a star that a teacher might give you or like a participation medal or something like that you know like you did it well yeah it's obviously from something but like every link I've seen doesn't really have an origin for where it comes from but it's obviously some kind of online fucking meme that got out of hand and it's your did in not it really it is it is it it is it and I've got my glasses on I've got a glasses on I quite like the look of it that kind of scrawled badly drawn like a child drew a star yeah it is like a child drew it anyway I think those two came to one pound and five pence well the AIO review says it's the star of David and represents the similar Jewish communities in the 17th century it's not the star of David shows I'm just proving a point that you can't trust AI he fucking can't especially when it doesn't know something which is most of the fucking time so two pins uh say two pins well no it's one pin separate in it but I'm trying to find the two pins so socialist caterpillar pin is near the bottom oh wow okay there are two items I would do you did it one yeah because otherwise it would be okay well I'm gonna say socialist caterpillar pin I'm saying fifty p I'm gonna say fifty p and then what's the other one star maybe he will oh you did it start here we go you did it pin just below cat bollocks I'm gonna say fifty five p I'm gonna say forty five p he's trying to mix it up every one to get those just being bomb crazy prices all about getting unique betweens in this game so he's changed his price to try and get a more unique between one more items quickly we haven't even done half of these yet it's another thing it's a dice it's a wouldn't die he'd row dice it's a wooden dodeca he'd row it's a dodeca he'd row it's like a story dice I think it is a story dice okay what's he got on it drama yeah oh it's a genre dice oh it's a genre dice okay war drama yeah thriller thriller illustrated oh yeah those trotters are really hard to hold on to see what I mean you got the most one he liked no no I'm not Paul and I'm ready right I'll say it again here right here to you ready to take you on at a dexterity challenge I saw you a challenge when you tried to do that magic card trick and had very good dexterity without acting to remember so I think I think what the gimmick is here boy you sit down with your loved one maybe or just you in a pair it doesn't I'm not judging right and you just sit there and you know you've got that fucking in that food state looking through oh I'm in the mood for I've seen it it's can decide for you well the dice what you're watching tonight animation oh but then you still got like thousand more choices to know they're quite wide but thriller thriller I don't like a drama generally so the only dice on here I can find says food dice but that's not food well maybe they got it wrong with it maybe I'm gonna look at the dogs that it refers yeah maybe because I can't think it must be the only dice so it must be that and I'm gonna say that is 60 p I would have preferred a food dice yeah I should eat sir yeah burgers serve and serve from McDonald's yeah did you tell me you tried the one that has one chicken and one beef pate no that was Nick Helms oh Nick Helms told us yeah we are not being with the hell sir right can we crack on we got a little extra prize on this fucking dice if you weren't so fucking your neighbor's home isn't they isn't well yeah so don't because they'll ask us whether we're you know we need to work on our sentences now come on they'll ask us if we're all right you know very aggressive way yeah frankly she has an idea of what we get up to now I think she's just got a bit better because I'm going to hear it but you understand what we're doing all right thank God it's just having rouse you said 60 p I'm gonna say I'm gonna say ATP ATP and low the game of continues I never thought I'd say this but I've got ice and fatigue it's a key chain it's a key chain one of these already yeah of a fruit machine I won't abandon it and it works yeah we had this before someone else enters this so I'll just say yeah I've got I saw it today it's hanging up I'll have this one as well both of you it's a lovely little key you always scored triple sevens no I'm not a sherry I literally played twice now sherry boy is that grape it's a grape it's a purple grape like a welch is great oh lemon watermelon lemon lemon watermelon lemon lemon watermelon lemon what again though you thought it happens what's happened it is I've just sat back and let you just shout fruit down the microphone for a few minutes great lemon watermelon great melon watermelon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon melon water belly daughter fat thin rubbish bin sitting in a ganon house wooden and a ganon house what I'd seen the ganon house I'm checking on to do it do not walk I'm going mad I know just pulling up shit I know I'm just trying to find that item on the list mate fruit machine it's a fruit machine it's a key chain isn't it? it's not slot machine it's not slot machine mini slot machine mark mark and he called indications rules before as well I know what the hell I'm actually thinking that is I'm gonna say 120 I'm gonna say 170 because it has play action it does feel like a better quality thing it's a nice thing isn't it it's a nice crime finish working order come on quick quick quick quick he's handed me this is a shovel it's just a little tiny shovel it's a model shovel it's a shovel teaspoon it said on the sticker but the problem is you used it as a teaspoon it probably leached heavy metals it's your fucking tea doesn't feel like you should be no preparing food or something like that leaving a rusted bit of foil it's not something that you'd want to put in your food at all it's like electro-cream you're fucking tea you smell it smells like two peas away yeah I think someone's brought two coins together what can you do shovel sugar with it I can just put it on the wall I'm gonna say 40p really since we're on a spoon trip yeah I just noticed there's a cat teaspoon it's a little it's a little bit of quality metal bronze-affected teaspoon with a little cat with his little paw even once I know what I think price was on that shovel didn't I thought you said it didn't you I didn't say nothing what did you say I said it I was thinking about it 60p this is a cat bronze effect there is something in it stainless steel 304 oh that's good little cat doesn't say stainless steel on the shovel does it because it's not what I like about this is even though it's a tiny spoon teeny tiny spoon the cat arms mean you can probably rest it on the cup or something or on the sugar bowl that's weird that was all four because they're doing presuming they're pushed forward yeah it's a much nicer thing that's a little sugar spoon I wouldn't even call that teaspoon no that's a smaller it's about half the size probably like a salt spoon it's a little sugar spoon or one of those spoons that you buy in a fucking Spanish destination that you put on a rack no it's a sugar spoon because you put it that's it's meant to sit on side of the sugar bowl yeah which is definitely right yeah well I think I've been a salt spoon I didn't say I said salt spoon just having a small small thing as well I get to you I think I go with the sugar bowl and rest on the side yeah I know you got that yes just throw your right first time I will never anyway cat teaspoon right near the top yeah again not a teaspoon mark so oh anyway what's all of the teaspoon is there anything a spoon I bet there is ask Google no I like this okay Google what type of spoons are there well we're reading that that's too many spoons many spoons right so cat teaspoon what do you say I'm going to say one pound 50 oh I was gonna say about the pound range as well I'm gonna say one 20 I'm gonna say two pounds I've changed off I'm saying two pounds off okay yeah next item please it's a spinning top it's a little spinning top it's uh rainbow metal iridescent I like about iridescence I love that I love when like you see oil in on the grass like a little bit of oil slick yeah that works as a top it's a lovely top I'm spinning it out it's spinning by the crab pen holder and the pet is going oh boy oh damn it's a little bit he's going oh I clicky clacky I'm clacking Norman and I'm clucking Norman the crab I'm just nicking it off Monty Python oh oh oh oh oh no no no no you're unleashing the crab rum next week oh do you know where I got clacking Norman from no uh crape brothers how did he do spiky nor spiny nor me yeah yeah yeah spiny norman is the the album right now they did it on they've done it on TV the album. The album is funny. The best version.
And that's the one where he goes, the Chinese watch. He's on the phone. Man, man, man. He's still on the phone.
He's playing. He's playing. Right. How much do you think the spinning top is, Mr Silverman?
It's a quality thing. It's got some weight to it. I'm going to go with the pound. I don't know why.
You're saying a pound on the nose again. I don't know why. I don't know why. It does the job.
It's a good top. I'm going to say 75p. 75p. Radley.
Where is it? Near the top. Oh look. Look.
It's deleted footage from inception. Oh. I'm remembering that dream where you were coming at me naked again now. And you got it all spunky dick.
What was it a dream? Was it a spinning top? No. That's the question.
I'm saying 75p. You said a quid again. But that is a quid. You don't get the extra stupid nose.
Have you indicated on your list where you put the QD? Yes. You can see it. You can see it.
You can't see it. It's a quid. It's a thing. It's a fake nose.
It's a pencil sharpener. It's a pencil sharpener. It's a snar for that. Schnar for that.