Here's a little song we're gonna sing. Join along with me, kids. You know how it goes. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob.
Oh, Eli's sewn up ill again and to the party's sick. Oh, we can blame the about his problems and it gets him a bloody wick. He's got a little sniffle and he's got a little cough and he's got a little smell coming out of his mouth. Oh, he's oh, Eli, oh, Eli, oh, Eli, oh, oh.
Oh, welcome to Cheep Show. My name is Paul Gannon and this is a podcast. Are you okay, Paul? I'm fine.
Mentally, I don't know where we stand no more. But physically, I'm not doing too bad. Yeah, no sniffles. No, you do seem weller than normal.
Thank you. How do you get the act of a robo cop to tell you more about ancient architecture? You go, well, oh, well, oh, oh, tell me more. Tell me more.
Did you get very far off the start of Robocop? Give me the, oh, please go. Peter Weller, Peter Weller. Well, oh, well, oh, tell me more.
Tell me more. How did you get that scarf? Well, I said to someone in a shop, can I have that scarf, please? And then they sold me that scarf.
I put it in a bag. And that's how I got a scarf. And I, I, I, I, there we go. What a lovely musical introduction to this week's edition.
I'm not sick. I feel that sick. You just got five, 15 minutes complaining to me. What was the worst bottle of sign X?
The worst flu I've had in two years. Is it? Yes. The worst of the one that you gave me that Christmas.
Oh, no. That was the worst I've ever had. That was the worst I've ever had. It was the worst either that.
That came on in a matter of minutes. It felt like, do you know what I mean? Getting worse and worse and worse. It's just like a zombie plague.
Yeah. You just, I go, oh, no, Eli. Oh, yeah. And then we played Christmas watching a shit doctor who episode on the couch.
And it's toughest piece of me ever. Bad times. It was all right. It was quite a good time.
It was a good time. Yeah. Anyway, it was formative. That was before this show had even started, Paul.
Yes. That was pre-cheap show days where you and me just looking about as kidders. That's all we were. Chums.
Bomb friends. I don't know. Kitty chums. Bomb chums.
That's the way I was looking for. Bomb chums. I'm saying that since, like, 1997. Because it's homophobic.
Is it? Yeah. I know. It just means you're bottoms.
You're a friend of ours. It's like hitchhiker on the Hershey Highway. Is it? It's like a normal.
Yeah. It's a homophobic phrase, Paul. Bomb chums. I don't think it's all.
I don't think it's all of us. Bomb chums. No, they don't. They speculate.
But they don't. As we as we speculate. I speculate. Here we go.
Back to the way into this week's episode. Now we're going to go. It's going to have to be. Unless you've got anything better.
You can give me the next five seconds. I've got no knob. I spoke about thinking. Welcome to Cheapshope.
Cheapshope. Oh, that's what I did forgot to do. Yeah, tell your phone off. Fuck me.
Hello. Welcome to Cheapshope. It is another episode of the Economy Podcast. I am Paul Ganon.
And I'm in my silver man. Yes, this is the show. The Economy Comedy Podcast for your ear. Where we go through Boggabins, Chariot, Shops, Poundland, et al.
of the UK. And I'm further than further than I've ever been. To bring you the cheap things that we find that are weak instead of treasure amongst that treasure. It's most of treasure.
It's most of treasure. It's most of treasure. It's most of treasure. It's most of treasure.
And no fucking about this week. No housework. No foreplay. No.
How was your darling? How was your aunt? Fancy cup of tea? Love?
Oh, it's cold. Oh, it's cold. Oh, you can't go out in this weather. Why don't you stay here for the night?
Your car's broken. That's stab you can't go home. Stay here with me overnight. Come on, then.
None of that. It's straight into the episode. Hello. Hello.
Paul. Yeah. Someone text you when I ask you to take your phone off. It sounds like they're doing weed now.
They're advertising galaxy buds. Oh my god. No, no, no, no. No, no, no.
Come on, that was good, everything. All right. I'm going to give you this. It's something funny that you said that wasn't related to your genitals.
So yeah, well done. It's well done. Well done. Thank you.
Well done. Even though you're sick. Even though you're sick, you produce magic. That's what we're going to give you.
That's what we're going to fucking give you. I, Sylvan, you are the wind beneath my fucking wings mate. Is that what you want to hear? Just throw it away and turn it off.
Throw it away and turn it off. How do I do that? Throw it away. Follow me.
Let's go. There we go. Turn it off. Like a fucking hummingbird.
That's stabbing at it. Yeah. Do that. All good.
Oh god. Why won't you die? What we got coming up on the show, Paul? Well, we haven't done this in a while.
And we always, I call them dollop lights. Even though that's not really fair because they do tons of research and take the time to do it. I'll just read something from a book. But this week's episode is going to be a deep dive into a chapter from a book that I bought in a charity shop.
The Unexplained, which was a magazine series that has been put into this compendium. I've got things to say about this. And if this is volume 13, I've got things to say. Play for that because right now we're going into our first segment, which wash-wish.
No fucking about sources. I'm loving it. I'm loving what I'm hearing from you because sources are very important to me. But as I like to say, source has been a bedrock, a supporting pillar, a load-bearing ballast.
A liquid bedrock foundational segment. Hot liquid core like that of the earth. Can I just, I need to, I need to. Magma.
On a technical level, I've realized, Paul. Yes. And it's doing my head in. So I'm going to swap chairs now.
Okay. I didn't know that was- I gave you the non-suiki chair. Why do you swap it? You swap it because I gave you the hardback one.
I did not. I fucking did. I'm lying. What's it doing?
He's lying. He's lying. You heard him. You heard him.
He lied. Why do you do that? I'll do the same thing too. That's that squeaky as well.
Take the one behind you. Oh my God. Oh. Granddad Eli.
No, no, Peri. I'm the outside. Greeny greeny. Not big greeny.
That's not me. I don't. You're not good enough. Just because this podcast has some sliver of success has not been anything that goes out of your mouth is good enough.
No, I know. That was certainly not good enough. I apologize. I'm a hairy, no, knob goblin.
No, that's just saying. Oh, no, I'm in a good mood now. Well, let's put a stop to that. I need to do the source report.
Intro, induction, theme. Okay. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, source report. Hello, everybody.
I'm Eli Silverman and welcome to this source report. Sources, we talk about them. No, it's only general news in the world of sources I have nothing. Well, a lot of on source news.
You're meant to deliver that to me. I do, I call the audience. Tell you what the big trend is, sources. What?
Hot honey. Oh, yeah, I know. I've seen it. I know.
That's it. It lasted a few years before that, which was a caromel. Oh, yeah. What do you think is next?
I know, cheese in the world of burgers. Cheesers. Because, you have the classic, the McDonald's Philly cheese stack, two of the other big guys have copied it. Burger King, they've got something called the Philly cheese steak.
You know what? It's called a cheap Burger King cheese steak or something. I had it the other day. Fucking terrible man.
I thought I'd give a go. You know what they have rocket in there? And they put like barbecue sauce on the market, it's just sweet. And it kind of clashes with the cheese sauce.
Absolutely, it's not. Can we high-five? Yes. Yes.
He knows what he's talking about. I know he can come to Costa Cupid sometimes everyone. He does know what he's talking about. We don't agree.
I just say the Wendy's toasted cheese burger. That worked. That worked. That worked.
That again, I feel like that, the griddle, it's a cheese griddle. It's a toasted cheese, it's pretty cool. But I feel like that was a reaction to the outright success of McDonald's Yeah. I just the other day, I saw KFC.
They're doing some kind of double cheesy, the cheesy one, whatever they're called. That's going to be the next big thing is going to be like, we've got the ground on that. I'm not sure, but it's the extra sauce. I mean, it's sort of Jason, isn't it?
It's sort of like a... I'm going to go ahead and say there's going to be more fruit in sauce going forward. Or fruit in sauce going forward. Yeah, I just think fruit in general is going to be like strawberry chili chutney or something.
Or you're going to get like pear or sabi. You know what? You know what? In the world of ice cream and confection, which I don't include, saucers for me is kind of a savory thing.
Because it's a syrup. It's a savory. I would go savory. It's a bit of a dessert.
They're more dessert focused, aren't they? Jams. Jams. It's the pistachio that do buy chocolate for some magic freeze.
What's that chocolate sauce you can put on ice cream? Then it goes rock hard, you can snap it off and use it. Do you like that stuff? I think that's just normal chocolate syrup.
I don't think it's a special property. People go, oh, what about white dog poo and all this shit? We don't see any more. Whatever happened to the good, individually wrapped block of vanilla ice cream that you could buy?
In chocolate? No. Like a block. Yeah, you could buy them in like a cardboard box and inside.
You'd get like 12 fucking individually wrapped vanilla blocks of ice cream. Yeah, because you'd be like a lolly alternative, right? Yeah, because you'd be wafers or something. Yeah, but you could just hold one and sort of unwrap it like a burrito.
You could like a choc ais. Yeah, exactly. That's just my point of view to make you think about the past. I'll let you go on.
I'll tell you what it is. No, no. The type of ice cream you get in those is what we call soft serve now. No, they were hard.
Like you get in a fuck like a wall. Soft serve is what they call the wibs. Anyway, that was ice cream before. That was a trend a couple years ago.
Soft serve. All the hips did soft serve. Yeah, but it's harder to sell soft serve when it's not coming out of the spout mixed with the machine. Yeah.
I mean, McFlurry is your high street alternative. It's like a soft serve. It's hard. It's hard to have all sorts of issues with those machines.
Yeah. Now, I did sort of some sources for today's report, did sort some source, of course he did, but the reason we've convened here in the source HQ palace to taste some of these sources because McDonald's are out again. They have, with their frankly lame new friends meal thing, knock off Funko Pops of your friends characters fuck off. Well, people like that.
I don't like Funko look. Not about what you like. Is it? They've done the market research and they said grown adults want toys of 1996.
I'm fine with that. If it's the fact that we were on a break. They've just gone, what's the most cheap factory thing that we can get to make these fucking pieces? Oh, detailed orientated.
But have enough detail to the mind of what the thing is you're looking at. I hate it. I hate the lazy cheapness of that. But these friends meals, which is what you're getting at.
Yes. Do come with a particular sauce if you buy the pizza mozzarella, and that's what we're going to taste first, yeah? They're mozzarella sticks. Which they have those sticks with almost any special they do.
Overpriced, I would say. I genuinely think that stuff is overpriced. Like 350 for like three sheets. You get three sticks, yeah.
Very overpriced. Not good enough. So, shall we? Without any further ado, crack open the first of our sources today.
Yes. So, in the sitcom, Friends, if you don't know, one of the characters called Monika, if you don't know, was a chef if you don't know. I've got that. I mean, I've watched the fair amount of Friends in my time.
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. That used to actually irk me. The way everyone be like, well, that's in Friends. I think it's not very good.
It's not actually very good. Is it? Could you be? Are you all good?
It's all like that. Did you enjoy Friends, like, unironically, for years? Yes. Honestly, I think there are still episodes of Friends that when it's found in all cylinders, it's like some of the best sitcom writing America's put out there in that period.
Yeah, I agree. Regardless of what else you think that you're... No, you absolutely write a lot of the writing was top-top. Yeah, yeah.
And also the charm of the actors. However, it's not really my cup of tea, and what I didn't like about it was the whole aspirational cool. Yeah, but that's about six of it. Anyway, the point is, is that Monika plays a chef, a friend.
So, that's the only thing, that's the only connection of food they could get in the whole thing? Yeah. I mean, it's better than nothing. They're going to just call it Friends Source.
So, honestly, this is the Friends Source Monika's marinara. So, what's a marinara source, though, to you? A marinara is a source. You're right, it is.
Well done. It is a basic tomato source for pasta. It's a good product that he's had for years. Got a book about...
My channel has Anne. It's all about Italian American cookery. Yeah, it's an absolute classic of the genre. I can't remember what it's called, but it's Marcella has Anne's one.
Right. And he told me about this dish. Get a nice thick pork chop. Yeah.
Brown, it's a flower. Right. OK. Stick in the pan.
Come on it. Fresh sage, some leaves. Stick in there. Can of tomatoes.
Come on it. Close it. Come on it. Low heat for an hour.
Come on it. That's the whole dish. You know, come on it once. I'm trying to be serious, man.
Yeah, I'm trying to ruin it. You're coming in. Oh, I've got no knob. That's fancy.
That's fancy. It's not like... My teacher, Feligolia, who's really part. Down dead.
Good. I fuck him. He did this thing, and it was one of the... When I really came out as a clown and found some...
You came out as a clown. I'm living a lie. I'm living a lie. You know what I was doing?
He told me to do it as if I was one of the other people in the group. Right. And suddenly I had a breakthrough. And that's what just happened to you.
You came in it like Paul. And then as soon as you were trying to pretend to be me, it all came to life, man. Just do it again. Be me.
Be me. All right. Let me just do it. Here we go.
I would apply. You're right. Excellency. No, the gnome, not bit.
That bit. No, no, I'll go for realism. Unemployable. Yeah.
Anyway. Tomato sauce. It says tomato sauce. I know what that sauce was, everyone.
In herbs and spices. And anyone thinks my pork munch and her zan pork chop recipe sounds nice, please let us know. He's not getting to me about this. So it says herbs and spices.
But then when you look for the ingredients, it just has the word herbs. Is that what herbs they are? Just herbs? Oh, well, that's funny that they don't have to do with it.
There's garlic, puree, and onion powder in it. Dehydrated onion. But they're just a spices. So it's got herb and spices in it.
I guess you... Oh, it does smell like pizza sauce. Very much so. You know what also smells like pizza sauce?
Pizza sauce, generic rich tomato sauce, which McDonald's give you with their mozzarella sticks when they're not doing the fresh things. Right, here's the thing. Wait, don't open that then. Because if you open that, right, we should keep all of it and then get the rich sauce and compare them.
I've got another one. Yeah. Yeah. Because we should compare and crash.
Maybe it's a pager on thing, but I think we should do a compare and crash. I've got another one then. I was just saying this. But I'd like to put it to the test.
Monica's marinara, see. All right, cool. Save that one. Because I think we should compare and contrast too.
Holds to your claims. Yes. So what I claim is I tasted this already because I've got the mozzarella sticks the other day. But I felt like the rich sauce, which we tasted on a video recently, it's also a report video.
Yes. All right. And we both liked it. We said it was very Italian food coded, pizza coded.
But the same thing, they're brand new for friends. I felt like this was weaker. But the smell is the same. I'm having a tiny pinch of it now.
Here we go. Oh, God. It's incredibly sweet. Yeah, it's more sweet.
Isn't it like an artificial sweetness almost? A little bit. But not too much. Not an off-putting way.
But fuck me. That's incredibly sweet. I think it smells quite nice. I know ketchup is sweet, but usually there's enough flavour there to round it all out.
But this is as long as I can. That's way too sweet. I'm getting a smart name as well. I mean, there's little bits of people.
I know that's the herbs or not. That's crazy sweet. That's way too sweet. Sweet, sweet.
Honestly, that is like syrup or something. Yeah, it is. Wow. It's too sweet.
And I get the herbs and everything, but it's really muted at the end. Yeah. You know what I mean? And it's just overwhelmingly, this sort of, to me, it's like a sweetener taste, a stevia or something like that.
Whatever it is, it's overwhelming. Whatever flavour you had. It's just punched to death by the sugar. Yeah.
Do you feel like the rich tomato is less sweet and has more balance? I don't want to say we'd have to put them back to back. I remember enjoying the rich tomato dip more. I think we did in that video, if I'm remembering rightly, how many negatives were higher?
We didn't have any negatives to say about it, but it's way too high in the way too high. It's at the front, in the middle, the herbs have come in right at the back. After work, you've been totally overwhelmed by a tidal wave of sugary, saccharine, sugary-ness. It's like the weight of the sugar, like overpours you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there's little herby fingers tickle your arsehole. And the herby fingers tickle your arsehole. Do it.
I would do it, though. I've ruffed it over DJ, John. I love it. Anyway.
Right, so... Oh, that's actually not enough. Oh, yeah. No, one.
I wouldn't use that anything. No. Two sweet for chips. Two sweet for dips.
Two sweet for the mozzarella sticks with which they were designed to complement. It's a cash in, just like this whole friend's thing. And as I've said to you, Paul, I'm not against that, though. It's a gimmick.
McDonald's have come up with some amazingly fun promotions in recent years. I'm thinking of the heist, the world heist, where they have dishes from other parts of the world. Yeah, but this isn't that, though. And also the secret menu, which is really fun.
Yeah, but this isn't that. This is what they're doing here is an apple-happy meal. Yeah. And the sauce is a postscript to that thought.
Well, I mean, compared to those promotions, these, the Grinch and this, just feel like, oh, we've got the IP. Yeah, no, right. You're the organization. But that's a menu, right, that you're talking about.
This is a meal deal. And the sort of difference is like you're buying a package which comes with a toy. Yeah. And the sauce.
And where's there? Here's a whole line of identity for this line of food. Yeah, but the Grinch was like a menu as well. No, no, no, no.
I mean, yeah. But this is, yeah. It was just fries and shaky dip. And then the burger was normal.
So just friends haven't, friends have a whole range of coffees as well, doesn't it? They have a coffee I think you can buy. I think there's two coffees. Even so, I don't think it's going to make a big fucking difference.
You know what? I didn't fucking taste on the secret menu that I really wanted to try. No, it was the espresso milkshake. Oh, we should have done that.
We should have done that. Oh, by the way, if we're talking noodles, cousin Emma has located the Nissian chicken wings thing. Well, can you pick him up with your America this time? I'm going to get it.
Good. Right. On to the next sauce. We are traveling to the Philippines.
Are we? I'm packing me back. Oh, I've got my passport though. I've got my new passport.
I was going to ask you. What's the fucking bad style? What is it? Is it really bad?
You know what's weird as well. I was like, I was like, I'm going to go to the booth and you take your picture and blah, blah, blah. But what was weird was I was sitting there and I had a shave and everything and my hair was cut. So it was like I was complete shambles.
I sat down and I looked at it and you go, here's a test. You do a test. You do a test. You sort of eat what you look like.
You show me on the screen what it looked like. I was like, that'll do. That looks fine and presentable. Yes.
So I sit there and I put the money in. Being bomb-bing, wait two minutes. The photographs come out and I look like a fucking drug addict. It's like my eyes are deep setter because of every wrinkle in my face.
Like my butter. Yeah. So I talk cameras are too, uh, too for deltas these days, aren't they? They show too much of the truth.
They show too much of the truth. So we are eating some sauce from that region. And it's by a company called UFC. Not the uh, not the wrestling.
Not the wrestling. Not the uh, not the wrestling. Is it wrestling or like extreme mixed boxing catch fighting? Well, they call it mixed martial arts or martial arts.
Because you can great job kicking in the balls at the same time. And this is a Philippine O source spell out. Forgive me. I'm just going to attempt to read what it's called.
It's called right. Thomas Anghang. How'd it spell that? T-A-M-I-S.
Ang-H-A-N-G-H-G. Ang-Hang. It's called the cat's up. Cat's up, another word for catch up, of course.
But it also tends to refer in the West now. The word catch up. It's almost any source here. You have a mushroom cat's up, a mushroom catch up.
And this is banana. But it's red, but it's red. And what is this big red dick shaped thing? Can you get red banana?
I don't know, man. Can I have a look at it? Yeah, this, oh no, that isn't a thing. That's just a bit of art design.
That's a splodge. It looks like a balloon. It looks like a splodge. You can tell by shading a little bit.
It's meant to be a splodge. It looks like a... Droplet was like a twist. It's like a smear of the source.
Mate, as a man who is well-versed in splodges. Yes. And smears, stains, spatters and drippage. I know a splodge when I see one.
And mate, that's just like the inside of my pants. It's a splodge. It's a banana shaped splodge. I also do skitties.
But that's kind of like... But this is... It's confusing splodge. That's a Sunday thing for me.
It's confusing. So just taste it, because no one really cares about all the splodge. Okay. So this says, cook it, eat it, cook it or something on the fridge.
And it says, cook it, dip it. Love it. And on the front it's got some kind of noodle thing with a leg on. Oh, look, it's got a banana shaped...
Bar made. No, bar code. There you go, everyone. There's a can.
It's actually quite interesting. Bar code, shaped in a banana and yellow. It's got two nice little design elements, including... The cap has got a nice little design wrapping with the UFC logo.
Don't worry if you can't imagine what we're saying. We've got images of this stuff on our website, the cheapish.co.uk. This is freshly bought, Paul. So I'm not going to bother checking the very small written...
Smallly written. There's before day, I'm going to... Smallly written. Yes, that's...
I'm not going to complain about the things I say in accident. We're both in a monkey mouth today. Go for a nice walk next week, Eli. That'll be nice.
That'll be nice, won't it? Yeah. So I'm almost there. Should I give it a shake?
It looks like there's a little bit of... What's the word for that? Look at the little liquid separation at the top. That actually has a word in ketchup manufacturing.
Does it? Yes, because a piece of them... They hate it. No, what's it called?
I was remembered what that was called. I thought you were the expert, mate. It's a great word. Give it.
Oh, that's why. Look at how thick it is. I'm holding it upside down, everyone. And it's not moving into the area.
Can I have a shake of it? No, you don't want to do it. You want to do it to right side to side like that. Oh, yeah, now it's gone.
Mate, I know it's gorgeous. I know how to get sauce out of a bottle. Okay, now what do you expect this to taste like then? I think it's going to be like...
Have you ever had a green banana? Yes. It's savory. It's sort of like the banana flavour profile, but with the sweetness dialed right down.
Well, anyway, let's find out. I'm going to go for this. Because we spent seven minutes doing anything. We'll talk about this fucking sauce.
Lovely, lovely smell. Have a look. Savory, like a dry fruit. Water, sugar, banana, stabiliser, spices, vinegar, preservatives.
Nothing going on too fancy. I can't smell banana, but there's definitely a kind of erm, sriracha note there. I think. There's a chilli, yes, but I've got this sort of savory banana.
Oh, look how splodgy it is. It's very... In the little Ramican. Oh, quite chunky.
It's quite chunky. I'm slowly beginning to regret taking this off. But let's... I'm going to take it from here.
It's definitely a vinegar note, like almost a stale vinegar note on there as well. Yeah, there is definitely that vinegar note. It's going to be quite a vinegar-y. It's gone in.
Oh, God. It's really gelatinous. It's like jelly. Here's the thing.
Flavour-wise, I'm not getting much. Flavour-wise, very gelatinous. Sure. Gelatinous.
I put it right in my ganache, yes. Hello, my professor. Hello, my professor. I'm just not going to go mad.
Oh, brilliant. I'm a fanny sniffer. What are you just going to talk darling? Oh, my God.
I thought we weren't doing it. I thought we weren't doing it. Can I taste this? Oh, I don't like it.
Like a meadow. Professor, go with the others, please. Oh, I like them. He's a fanny sniffer.