Has he had your spinach, Eli? Have you had your spinach? He's had his spinach. I go, go, go, go.
He's strong to the finish, because he eats his spinach. It's Eli the podcast man. Poop, poop. Hello, everybody.
It's Eli. Look at he gluck down, goes the air, and then we should say again. No, I'm not going to, because I know what your little fucking problem is. You don't like the sheaf bean pull back to reveal the glistening helmet.
Do you? You don't like the eye of cock to come out to tell the truth. Paul, I think you should resell. Yeah.
It's OK. What's happening? Yeah. You just literally, you're drinking your red bug, and that's it.
I guess that's how — I can't do it, but I'm not going to, because I stand by every single awful fucking thing that comes out of my stupid fucking mouth. Unfunny thing. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not going to stand by I'm funny stupid cracking awful things out of your mouth.
This guidedly unfunny stuff, right? At least when I'm funny, I use words, as opposed to you, just calling off on a mouth tangent. I could say something now, podcast is over. You said five minutes, yeah.
You've said that for a minute of this shit. I hate this. And I fucking hate everything we do. We keep fucking ongoing basis.
Jesus! So, age me fucking give me carpool trouble in my right hand. I thought I was the unhealthy one. Mate, carpool tunnel.
My problems are all joint and ache base. I've got those as well. You know what I mean? It's still cold.
I think it's diabetes. Age, as we age, you get natural arthritis. Come on, mate. Well, I apologise to me.
For what? Having a horrible nasty and funny go at me. I didn't say this was going to be funny. At no point did my comment, a rattle to me anyone.
Did you thought the whole... No, no, no. In each thing was going to be funny. Yeah, because it was funny to me that.
It is. It's been... It's not funny. You have got to pop by looking face, if I'm being honest.
Like, cheers and go big fat. I'm here as well. You can be get on! Let's go.
I know. I want to. Good. Good.
Good. Cheep show to the man. It's a cheap show. Hello, welcome to Cheep Show, starring the late Eli Silverman and the impalative care Paul Gannon.
Impalative care? Yes, impalative care. Is that right? Impalative, palliative.
Palliative. Palliative. Palliative. Hey, do you know if we were talking about sibling?
Yes. Someone said there is an actual term. I wish I remembered it. I'm not...
Explain the podcast, be one. Welcome, everyone. I'm Eli Silverman. That's Paul Gannon.
We present to you weekly, cheap show, the Comedy Economy Podcast for your ears, where we travel the length and breadth of Great Britain, looking for the treasure amongst that trash. Charity shops, bazaars, jumble sales, and yard sales, pound, land, and all that stuff. We trawl through it and bring you that treasure amongst the trash again. I said, treasure amongst the trash we bring to you.
And this week, we got two great segments for you. We do, two lovely segments. We starting with the noodles? Got it.
No, carry on, I'll tell you. We starting with the noodles. Yes, we're going to get the noodles like that. That's our big segment today, ladies and gentlemen.
It's a noodle, Bob Blitz. We got limited edition, Nissian Cup Noodles from America. Could you say they were limited... Limited Ed Nissian?
Limited Ed Nissian? Limited Ed Nissian? Limited Ed Nissian. Yes, Nissian is how you spell it out.
Limited Ed Nissian. You can have to cut this in. I'll tell you what to say. Yeah, and I'll cut it in.
And you say it, just repeat after me. I repeat it, yeah, go on. Hey! Yeah.
You could say they were limited Ed Nissian. Yeah, you could say they're limited Ed Nissian. LAUGHTER Why do we do this? Oh my god.
Limited edition. Limited edition. This is impossible. Anyway, that's what I wanted to say, but you went and said it.
Anyway, Cup Noodles, we got four and a noodle pop blitz coming up later on the show. How do you say that? F-A-E-N-E-T-H, Faineth. Faineth.
Anyway, Faineth. For the fact, the added vowel in sibling sounding like sibling is called... Nuclear, standing... Nuclear, standing...
Nuclear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said that last week. I'm just saying that's a bit boring.
It's an example, though, for people... People may not learn it. People may not learn it. I'll buy the sailor.
I drink it, but all I can. I have six cans at the parking day, and I'm going to live for a great big span of 100 years. Right, pharomatic vowel or epiphesus. Wicked.
There you go. For the added vowel, it's a valuable vowel. Added vowel? Vowel.
Added vowel. Anyway, I was going to end with some records. Founded a charity shop that we will grace your ears with later in the show. That's right.
Oh, oh, oh, I don't want to answer this. It's John. I don't want to do it. Oh, fuck's sake.
Well, if you still fucked off on me for cutting this segment out... I can't all of it out, man. Yeah. But the bright side of that is that all those bills for the content house are now going to the right place.
I've got the redirect. That's because I'm sick of brand off sending me messages saying, go on, pay this for me. Is that not paying your internet bill? I don't want to...
I'll answer it. I'll answer it. I'll answer it. Hello, John.
Yeah? What do you want? Hello, is that a poll? Yes.
Hello. It's kind of John. John. John can't see.
Yes, I know John. Hello. Is that poll speaking? Yes, John.
It's John can't see. Hello. You called my phone. So, odds are good that you've reached me.
What you want? Oh, I just wanted to say hello, really. You know, I know I'm quite busy these days, actually. Look, if it's about me cutting your segment, I'm sorry.
I've apologised, Brian. It's all squared. All right, I'm sorry. If you want to go back on the show, I guess you can every once in a while.
No, there won't be necessary, actually, because I've got my whole sub-channel on the content house platform, actually. Right, wait, wait. No, you can come back on the show if you want, you know. No, it won't be necessary.
It's really going. It's going to, as they say, mega-viral, the whole of content house, including my food reviews. I've even started doing ASMR, where I eat, like, lasagna, quite noisily. I mean, it's not a natural thing for me to do, because I'm quite quiet, actually, usually.
They like to slurpy noises. And so I'll get my mouth right in there and I'll slurp all up. I mean, I've been mega-viral, but not like that. Just, how many numbers are you getting?
How big your audience? Can't be bigger than us. Well, there's like three million subscribers to the content house platform. And I get live 40,000 daily views, visits to my subtrattle, which is Gantis Food Parlow Reviews.
John! Oh, John! Don't worry, you're doing it! I'm just talking to Paul!
Where are you talking? Don't you need that! John, I'm talking to Paul! Paul!
Paul! I like him! What? I like him!
Eh! I think the message is... You're getting much more feral! Yeah, can you tell you why they stopped sending me pics?
I know they're not even her pics, just a bunch of different men's penises that I don't get it. Just tell her to stop. I don't know what you're telling me natural, you're... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
I need none! No, Jane, I'm not! I need it twice! I need it twice last week!
I need it twice last week! It's only natural for you to feel jealous, Paul, about the numbers I'm getting for my Food Review. I'm making it on the camera! No, Jane!
No! We do it with dogs and... We do it with dogs and... We do it with dogs and...
We do it with dogs! What's wrong with you? Yeah! What is wrong with you, woman?
I'm only... Oh, this success! Yeah! It's business be clamor!
Oh, my God, Paul! Oh, anyway, it's natural for you to want to attack me! And I wouldn't go on your little tiny podcast if you even pay me a million pounds! I'm doing three grand a day!
There's food reviews! I don't understand! Yes, ma'am, that's going to take off! You guys should have got on that train!
You should have got on that train! I'm stuffing my face and it's putting... And it's getting fucking mega views! That's all to swear!
I'm going to feed back to Elvah! Go, it's trying! Just close the door with the toilet! What's it, please?
I don't want to smell it! Alright, well then, bye then, John, I guess! Bye! Mate, what's all this with the successful bloody content house?
It's mentioned all these YouTube channels, I follow. They all mention it! I've got the armour and all of this stuff! Yeah, I've got the app!
But I cannot get this fucking thing to work! A login! Password! Do not recognise it!
Well, no, it's not recognised, but it's taken money from my account! Listen, we've got to check it out! We've got to check it out! We might need to sue them or something!
Maybe! There's all sorts of stuff going on over there! Either way, we'll check it out! We'll check it out!
It sounds like they're bad mouthing us! Of course they are! Bit of success! Goes to their ed!
They get about where they started! Anyway! Hey, are we doing it? No!
Is it get our noodle pop blitz on?! That's right, is it noodle pop blitz, really? Yes, because it's noodle pop to my blitz! But I thought that was more specifically when we did lots of different ones!
But this is all-nition! It's a special edition-nition, limited edition-nition-noodle pop blitz! And there is a glam style intro that goes like this! No, it doesn't!
No, it doesn't! No, it doesn't! No, it doesn't! We do this!
We do this! I've done that! It's such an incompetent wanker! Oh, God!
Bossy Paul! If he's-you know, here's this thing! And then we cut to it! No, we do this!
Where's the schedule? No, we've been doing this for 11 fucking years! Where's the schedule? It's right here, baby!
He's doing-you've been thinking of everything! I've got two schedules! You're the big bully! Two schedules!
Can they show me? He can move it! Best leads to the house! Right, can we get all the blitz?
We haven't said what they're- No, we get back! When we start a fucking segment! You're the one! No, scratch!
You're the one who presses the button, mate! Oh, yeah, I'll press it now! Pfft! Pfft!
Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft!
Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft!
Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft!
Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft!
Pfft! We blitz some potted noodles, and what have we got this week on a very special edition of the segment? We do have our favourite brand of andy original brand in the world, Nissian, the big daddy on the street. They invented pot noodles, what we call in this country, poor pot noodles, but these are cup noodles, and we have done very well over the years, securing their special editions.
It's been the what and the wift and the desire. The weave and the what and the waff to the waff to the waff, the desire of the American part of the Nissian Corporation to release- Silly versions! Silly versions! Novelty ones, and some have been better than others over the years.
We had the all day breakfast. What's it all day breakfast? It was just a big breakfast, big American breakfast. It was an American breakfast.
It was un-pleasant in that it tasted- Mate, Paul Sirip tasted a pancakes. Mate, Paul Sirip tasted a pancakes. What was the flavour of it? It had little bits of dehydrated sausage.
It was like some of what noodles it's already, Brack. It wasn't particularly lovely. That wasn't good. What I did like was the everything bagel.
That was alright. I got a bit too thick and sickly after a while. We did it on our episode. Was it 400?
Where we did the TV episode once? I don't remember. No, but never. No, but never.
That's actually on that one when it was filmed. And what it was, it wasn't prepared properly by me. That's my bad. It was really bad.
It was really bad. It was really bad. It was really bad. It was still quite a lot of flavour.
You didn't like it as much as I did. I did like that one. The smallest one. Do you remember that one?
The smallest one. It was horribly sweet, chocolatey, aspartame horrible. You know what that reminds me of? Having a piss-porn hot chocolate drink.
That hand-out noodles in. It was really bad. It was really bad. Can you think of any others?
Well, we had the drinks. You can see on our YouTube channel where we had the Nissan Sonas. It's based on their favourite flavours. Almost popular flavours.
Yeah, so you had the curry one, the seafood one, the original. And the original. Salt and a salty one. The salt one, right?
And someone also made a cheap show for us. You're not showing the face of the camera. Show the faces. There's the face.
We are filming this as well. If you want to watch this, we have uploaded it to our YouTube channel. Yes, we've got four to taste today and they are from the States. They may be slightly out of date because it looks like they've been discounted.
There's yellow sticker on this. So that gives me... Not all but most. It gives me pause.
But yes, they were secured by Emma, not my real sister, fan of the show. Every full moon. I used to turn into a beer. That gave me pause.
Not your joke. I don't know. It's not about the joke. It's about the age down the wrong thing.
It doesn't hit. It's like full moon. You're thinking wolf. Just say wolf.
I said a beer. I said every full moon. I said wolf. I could have just done that.
I've docked it. Me. Every full moon. I turn into a wolf.
That gives me pause. That works much better. Thank you. No, thank you.
You've got to go. Can I try that other one? I don't want to do it. No.
I think my mates make a bit bigger. He came up to me and said I hate those people on the continent. They're terrible. Those people from the continent.
I said, well, that's your opinion. He went, no, they're European. If you'd like to see that joke again, it's one of our previous cheap shots and last week's episode of the podcast. I try to fumble it.
Sorry. I can't wait. I'll be winners. Can they?
You're a workshop. I'm a nice structured gag with a decent payoff, but it's more clever hard than funny hard. It's not mine. But clever fun.
He's good anyway. I don't like clever fun. It's Adam. He writes all my gags that I just come out with because I'm trying to workshop them through the podcast.
I'm glad you found this. The nice arena for you to do so. Because his other one was that I liked better. Yeah.
Was. Yeah. I've got a startup. It's a tech startup I'm doing, Paul.
Yeah. And it's like just, it's like TripAdvisor, right? Right. But it's like based in Ibiza.
Yeah. Getting a lot of rave reviews. Yeah. Again, you did that week with the game two weeks ago.
Getting a lot of rave reviews. So, what do you do? Just repeating the first four guys you remember over and over and over again until something lands and sticks in and beds in in a way that you're happy to commit to? Getting a lot of rave reviews.
I'll call it the joke right now. No, you won't. This would be poor, everyone. And did you speak it to me as well?
I think of this. I've gone. Do it about a dog. I've gone.
I've gone. Apparently now he's an app that delivers drag artists to your house. Oh, yeah. It's called Deliver RuPaul Strike Race.
I've just had a thought. We've got a word from Gags. Don't mind us. You know that some perverts like to put dog food on their genitals and then get the dogs to eat it out.
They've actually come up with dog food, especially for that purpose. It's called Pedigree Mum. Hey, tag on. There's a lot to come.
There's a lot to call. There's a lot to all mine. Look at that guy. So, secular, gravity balls.
Your mum's a dog. Dog. Oh, no. Oh, no.
There's a lot to psychog it out. Yeah, please edit that one out, please. This is the worst. I feel really bad today.
Like, we're not fine. You're not making me laugh. Yeah. I'm not making me laugh.
Anyway, you can order flying cars. Oh, yeah. It's called Uber Alice, which means up above in German. It's clever joke that.
Oh, I've got that one up. But it's also about how the Nazi says. They're Tesla. They say Tesla are coming up because they've got the...
They're coming up with flying cars. I've got Uber Alice. Thank you very much. You see this?
I'm actually better at doctoring other people's jokes than my own jokes. Let me do another joke. to another go that's awful and you can doctor. Give me your word, give me your word, give me your word, advertising.
Advertising, right, okay. Teddy bears. Teddy bears, advertising, Teddy bears. Alright, hang on.
I used to date a Teddy bear, but after seven years I got the stitch, no I got the itch isn't it? Hang on, shh, go back, I got it. Oh dear. Oh, that's on the edge of competence.
Hang on, no, I got this seven years stitch, no it's still bad. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I've just had a bear idea though. Oh, I'm not this advertising agency, yeah, no, but problem is they're all teddy bears working at the agency. Oh, yeah, you never get to do any work, they're always off for a picnic, they're always doing a picnic.
What's a teddy bears favourite thing on a dinner plate? Stuffing. That's taking the wind out of me. There's nothing out of me you might say.
Hey, noodles, come on, please. Okay, fine, fine. What's the first? Let's go through all four.
Now, what have we got? We have three limited edition wings versions. Now, the original, Nisha. They're not based on the band, Paul McCartney put together after the Beatles, no, these aren't commemorative, like, band on the run.
Noodles or anything, you know, like, that'll be fine. No, they're not. No, the closest thing to that, what we've had, are the wrap icon noodles. No, they would have been perfectly fine to stand up.
But I don't know, the Freidler Pro was still wonky. Yeah, I just think they were really out of date. Really out of date. So, no, but Paul, these are wings, so they've got three limited edition wings flavour ones.
Now, firstly, Spicy Buffalo with Ranch. Ranch is a garlic base. This one. May and A.C.
Bull of Kintai, that one's like... May and A.C. Source, famously, we get Doritos cool. What they're called?
Cool Ranch. No, they're not called Cool Ranch in this country. They're called Cool Blues. Cool Blues.
Cool Blue Breeze. They're not called Blue Breeze. No, Blue Breeze, mate. I'm not the same thing at all.
What are those Fakiterios called? Cool. Cool Ranch. No, not Cool Ranch.
Cool. Cool. Something. Cool.
Momma. Hang on. There it is. Doritos cool.
Doritos cool. Sorry about this, everybody. Oh, just as Cool Original. Cool Original, yes.
Or Cool Ranch. What are Cool Original? It's called a here because the UK doesn't know about Ranch. In fact, they had Ranch briefly in Subway, right?
Yes, because it's from America. They stopped that. Then they used to have Caesar in Subway as well. I used to get that instead of the Ranch, right?
It's kind of similar. It's kind of like a... White, garlicky sort of dressing. Now they've got to be that.
You know what it is now? Like herb. It's like a herb and thing. Oh, was that the word I came up with?
What was it? Chive? Chive? Chive?
Chive? Yes. It is that. It is that.
Whatever that word was I came up with. Oh, I wish I remembered shit we did on this fucking podcast. Chive or green, wasn't it? No.
No, it was... It's not even green. Chive. Chive.
It was great. Yeah. Anyway, it's anyway. It's in that.
So here's the thing with that though, right? Just because we don't have Blue Ranch or Ranch, doesn't mean you can't introduce it until everyone. People don't pick up on it. They're something about the British spirit.
The British... They do not like ranch. You know, there's certain things that are so like mayonnaise, that are so ingrained in the culture. Let's say the last 20, 30 years.
I don't want to wiggle anything new in ever. That's stupid. The world that mean you were born into in Britain was culinary baron pool. Baron?
It was, there was nothing there. Unless you were super posh. Now you're French. I remember the day my mum got excited, you bought pasta.
Is that true? Yes. That's so weird. Oh, our family's first bolognese, isn't it?
Isn't that crazy? And it was something exotic. That's what I'm trying to get at. And I think ranch is one of those things that they would love.
All these corporations would love to be able to introduce it over here. That's a big thing, but it isn't a thing. No, it's spicy buffalo with ranch. OK.
Now, spicy buffalo is great. It's a wing flavour. It's a very vinegary hot sauce. That's how I describe a buffalo.
You know, it's very tart. It is going to microwave as well, apparently. They can, because they're American. Oh, yeah, because they have kettle.
Do that as a scotch before. We are going to do them British way, are we? Yeah, kettle. Or should we do them in the microwave?
No, kettle. We'll do it proper, because we're British. If we can't take the word ranch, then we'll do it all way. OK, so what's the second wing flavour we've got?
Limited edition. This one is lemon pepper wings. Right, Emma said this is probably the best. I can imagine this being the best.
Well, I don't know what the third one is. I can just tell you. It is garlic, parmes, and wings. Oh, that might be nice.
Is that really a popular profile? Yes, it is. OK. These all very much established wing flavours.
And I remember you can get that in wingstop, which is blown up. I tried wingstop last year. Yeah. Very poor.
Those tiny little wings. You know? Yeah. I want a big meaty wing.
Yeah, I don't want a little look. I'll tell you a little wing anecdote. There is a in Kingsland Road Market in Dostin, Kingsland, like around there. There's a hole in the wall, Indian Place.
Right. Yeah. Indian restaurant, just purely takeout. They do kebab rolls.
They have tandoori wings. Really cheap. It's like six or three quid. Right?
And they're like, you know, like proper tandoori chicken, the red chicken. Like, and it's slightly charred, black and red, and it's really nasty. And I got some of these wings. They were fucking unctuous, man.
They were delicious as fuck. So cheap. And it's like, I'm going to take those home and have those in my dinner. And I'm walking around at me.
And I could not stop eating these fucking tandoori wings, my friend. But this would be tandoori wing juice, all over my mouth, and my fingers. And I'm like, oh, you're not listening to me. Oh, yeah.
I was just decided that this was not, I didn't need to be here for this segment of the podcast. That's a wing story. But yes, they do have all of it. Actually, I was just looking at the word, just because I wanted to check it.
It means delicious in a succulent way, right? No, it means flattering, or smarmy. Oh. It's even better result for me.
Oh, it just doesn't mean delicious at all. No, it says they're smarmy or fawning. Here we go. Double check, because you just want to be proven wrong.
I'll check it later. That's why I'll be proven wrong. And then finally. God, that's deflated me.
Good. Fuck you. Cut noodle, dill, pickle with all the natural flavors. The dill, pickle, top of the box.
There it is. Now, I love pickle. I love noodles. This, for me, is like a very nice, ultimate type item.
Yeah, I mean it. It's almost as if it was scientifically grown in a lab for you, isn't it? Now, it might not be very nice, though. It might be very artificially dilled over dill.
I get almost taste this in my head. You know, in terms of what this is probably going to taste like, or smell like it, it's got to have that McDonald's fake pickle. As you would say, Sesame Street, Scratch and Sniff card pickle, basically. But we did have the KFC pickle meal the other day, didn't we?
Which was green. Load of Grim Slop. It was horrible. Really?
The burger was OK. I love you chips with KFC Slop. KFC Slop. KFC Slop.
And apparently their chicken is really bad. I think I'm going to avoid KFC. I'm not a KFC person, really. Those wings I had from the place in Dawson, Kingsland, a thousand times better.
Yeah, probably. The smallest in this anyway. Whatever. So we are now going to run these through a kettle and bring them back and give you our thoughts and opinions and ratings of them, aren't we?
Yes, we are, Paul. Now, I've said that one of my favorite noodles was there is another longstanding pickle flavored noodle in the world. And it's the Amala Polish one, which is a gherkin flavor as well. Which is fine.
Which is subtle. It's herbie, subtle, has that dill flavor. But I think this is going to be much more strident. And I've wondered if they could have dried bits of pickle in this area, because one of Nishan's top things that they've maintained over the years is their dehydration game is top-notch.
They dehydrate any fucking thing. They had bits of sausage and egg in that breakfast one, didn't they? They'll have bits of flavor. What do you think is going to be the best out of all four?
Out of all four, which is going to be the best. I'm going to go with lemon pepper. I'm going to stick with that. That was one that tickles.
I see lemon. Tickles my taste. I'm worried about the Parmesan, because you know there's that compound in Parmesan cheese, which also is involved. And so once you've noticed that, you can't get rid of it in mentorship.
It's hard to. It's not a minute. Yeah, the Kennedy Center. Yeah.
Paul, you've got these certain weird things. He's saying over and over again. And the belly-renton is one of them. Anyways, it's my final.
Dictity. Oh, fucking Scott's going to do it. We're going to go. It's like episode two or something.