Ep 51: Banish The Fantasy Of Male Protection

Send us Fan MailSubscribe to my Substack: https://substack.com/@outheretrynasurviveGet the Out Here Tryna Survive Journal: https://stan.store/GraceSandraBusiness Inquiries: [email protected] man knows where you live, and suddenly rejection isn’t a simple text, it’s a safety decision. That’s the reality I’m sitting in after letting my guard down with someone I barely knew, then realizing I felt afraid of what he might do when I ended it. That fear sent me straight into a bigger question: what does dating safety even mean for Black women when so much violence comes from the people closest to us?I talk through the Rape Academy news and what it reveals about online misogyny, rape culture, and the way some men organize, teach, and normalize sexual violence against partners. It forces a reckoning with the “not all men” argument, because the issue isn’t statistical comfort, it’s lived risk. When you can’t tell which person is dangerous, you start moving differently. I also share the prayer “Banish the Fantasy of Male Protection,” and why it shattered the leftover belief that patriarchy, religion, or tradition can guarantee women’s safety.We go into the grief and anger of realizing how often male accountability fails, how men protect other men, and what it looks like to opt out of the protector myth while still trying to heal. As a mom raising sons, I get real about pushing back on red pill content, incel logic, and manosphere talking points, and why it can feel frightening even with good kids. I close with what actually helps me process trauma: EMDR, therapy, friends, and intentional journaling as a daily practice to rebuild self-trust.If this resonates, listen, share it with someone who needs a language for what she’s feeling, and please subscribe, rate, and review so more people can find the show.Support the show