Right, whenever you're ready, you're in drope. I'm not gonna mess around with it this time. Good, because I don't. I'm always a gentleman, it's me, it's too loud.
Yeah, too loud. Not the best start. I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do, Paul. What I'm gonna do.
It is awful. Yes, just say yes. You're not even saying you agree. Yes, Paul.
Yes, Paul. Say yes, Paul. Yes, Paul. Not a lot.
I want to improve sports like Dye since we last recorded an episode of Cheatshows. I can't go... Maybe they were snorting. Oh, fucking.
You're sucking up your own snort. We've reached new lows. You want a tissue? No, I've got one.
I've got one. I've got one. I've got one. I've got one.
I've got one. I've got one. I've got one. I've got one.
You've got some fancy kick out there. Yeah, it was a green tea kick out. Oh, you lucky bitch. Who gave you that?
Friend. Better friend. Oh, got it exploded out of my nose. Oh.
Right, sorry. Begin your intro now. I do apologize. And I like it anyway.
Bye, guys. You guys are over there. And you always need to episode 54. Oh, God.
You know what? I was called Cheatshows. I'm one of the hosties. The other hosties.
Forgetting everybody. Oh, yay. So, you know, like someone in this podcast for the first time, say they just, I don't know, put on iTunes and recommend a new episode of Cheatshows. And they put this one on this first experience of Cheatshows.
All they're going to hear is you and your stupid fucking voice. I'm not going to go, these guys are not bad. I don't know what to talk about. No, no, no, no.
He's talking about it. He's talking about it. He's talking about it. He's talking about it.
Oh, Cheatshows. I know it. Welcome to Cheatshows. Hey, you and your fucking mood are positive.
People love mood. What a fact that you so good at having fun. You said, I'm good at having fun. No, no, no.
You're going to the show. You're going to the show. You're going to the show. You're going to the show.
Right. Good. Hello. Welcome to the show.
It's the economy podcast for your. It is. You really have to stop doing that fucking voice. Really?
Yeah. Please do. Oh, I'm going to take a pound back. Don't stop that voice.
I'm going to take a pound. This is, I don't recognise it. You stopped doing the voice. No, I'm fucking kidding.
Seriously, you're taking these. Oh, I won't do the voice. No, you know what it's like. You can hear those two pounds back up, of course.
If I do my normal voice behaving. If I think at any point, you step out alive. You're not getting a quick back. All right.
This has got really bad pull. I'm just saying, if you don't fucking behave, you're not getting these two quids back. All right. I'm going to make it first possible.
I'm not going to be a tyrant. I'm not going to be a tyrant. I'm not going to be a tyrant. I'm not going to be a turking.
I'm touching your hands. Yeah, it feels weird and standing on hand and seat moving. And stop moving the fingers. Please, so it's episode 54, Paul.
It is. mine. PLAYER Like, that's why, you have to drift into your personal space. If feels a bit weird in the panel surprised orhoares.
And stop moving the fingers. Please. So, it's episode 54, Paul? It is.
Cheapshope. Yes. So, how do you feel thinking? Oh, thank you so much.
Seriously, Ben, and Miss Sam go ahead and make sure that your Criss wrim down as a pendant. Thank you. likely. Okay, it's very likely.
So with that in mind, welcome to the show. Hello, we're going to just quickly mention again that we are recording this in the pod at White City Place, and they've given us a space to record it. The fantastic little spot certainly is cozy. It's very cozy.
Did you did you combine the word spot and pod? Yes, yes, spot. Lovely pod spot. Yes.
And again, we've got a desk with round table desk with fun to go. So there's a little naughty boy looking in. He's a naughty boy. Hello, you're not coming in.
No, piss off. Hello, we need recording session. Sorry, man. That really happened everybody.
That's one of the downfalls of the pod as a recording space is you get it. Urchins. Fucking little urchins sticking their head in and opening the door when they were asked not to. We definitely gave Michelle the head.
He saw the seriousness in your eyes, Paul. I was looking very smart. And this is a man with a toothache. And he cares not of criminal proceeding.
He cares not of rubbing a child at the wrong way. Oh, come on. I mean, getting on the bad side. But even worse, I'm just saying there's no naughty little urchin going to ruin this shoot show.
And he hasn't. So don't let him. But that is the problem. We should have blocked the door.
We're locking the door. Excellent. We're locked in the pod now, everybody locked in the pod. No more little naughty children popping their heads in and saying, please governor, he didn't say anything.
Just wait. Sorry. Why fucking anyway? It was just naughty.
naughty boy. He was just checking out. He's a naughty boy. naughty boy.
Right. Thank you to my city. Let me tell you this recording studio once again. Thank you to them.
And also Paige Branson who opened the standard logo. Gonna give a shout out again to her PayPal tip jar. We can donate a little as long as you want. One of payments if you go to PayPal dot me forward slash page Branson's PAGB R A N S O N, then you can on our behalf bank with us all donation for his tip Josh.
He is and she has been a marvellous contribution to cheap show. It's lovely logo. It's lovely logo. Lovely logo.
There's a Reddit page as well now for us. Did you know about this? No Reddit has a cheap show page. You can go on there and talk to other cheap show fans and leave comments.
Have a cheap skate. All the cheap skates. Oh, you can leave little comments there and recipes and noodles and recipes. Some people have given you suggestions for how to eat the noodle.
Maybe you should check out the Reddit page. I will. I will. I should say if anyone's feeling a certain lack of noodle talk in the last night and this one.
I never get thanks for bringing up all though. That's very grown up. Thank you. No, I'll be there.
There will be the will be a noodle special. Yes. Something special isn't it? Me and Paul have been planning it.
The structure of it. Well, mostly you. I mean, if it doesn't, if you don't plan it, we can't do it. I'm doing it now.
I've written things down. Have you? Yes. Really?
I've written the word noodle special. I've written a whole notebook and I've written noodle special on the first page. Anyway, right. So it's in the works.
It's in the works. A noodle of hot topic special. Yes. It's coming at you before the end of the year, right?
Yes. Right. Yes. Right.
I'm not doing this. I'm just concerned that you don't have the impetus to do it. I fucking have the impetus, mate. I'm fucking Mr.
Impertants. You get confused. Oh, my God, the panery. Do you want to quit back?
No, just don't. You want to quit back? So hold me that over me. I'm not what I'm not saying anything critical of you.
No. Okay, no, you're great. And also your pounds are brilliant. Impertants.
Yeah, this can be coming back to you. Larry, more of those little. Can I just add I'm homeless or appear to be and also like to suck tramps off and stuff? Well, it's good to hear you be so honest.
I get off your chest. I have to wipe it off. Oh, with a squeegee. Oh, I'll give you a quick back.
Thank you. You had the extra step. You had the little extra step. I've got a tramp can squeegee device which I use to wipe it off your chest.
You have your moment. You got your quick back. It's the one more. Well, we'll start off right now with our newest section that we haven't done in a while.
Me Casa, Sue Casa, and what happens in this section? Well, when we're out and about in the charity shops of Great Britain or the car boot sells, we might see a little something goes, I bet Eli would like that. I bet Eli needs that. And then you think the same thing.
Oh, Paul, Paul, I like this. Yeah, even though it's not goes must is related. But if it is even bonus, bonus, bonus, Sue Casa, bonus, Sue Casa. And then I'm going to pick that off for Paul.
It's a little gift. It's not exchange. It's a piece of the argument to us. It's a moment where we, me Casa, just remember you said that piece of ring because that's relevant.
Oh, Sue Casa. So who wants to go first then? You go first. All right.
Okay. So I was in a charity shop. Paul was what is your me Casa? Me Casa to do.
You're in a charity shop. Big Wow. That's good. I just thought the story.
Cat protection protection leak. Yeah. Does it say? Go on.
Do you look after my pussy? Nutering prevents aids and cats? Yes, it does. It does say that on the side.
Yeah, it's quite bold. The saddest face of my cat ever pulled was when I took it to have its balls and it was seven months. Did it have a saddest face? Sadest face is almost if he knew he was coming back later.
It's all this for his best. Oh, it's raining outside. It's rain rain, but we're warm inside the park. We're warm and cozy.
It's kind of nice to look out the window, isn't it? And just see all the rain coming down and the lady with the umbrella and the people getting wet because it's been very changeable. And that's a real downpour. A cloud burst.
I can't stop talking about the fucking weather now. Can we? I think it's probably been a... It's nice.
It's like being in a tent at a campsite. We're alone and it's waiting down and you move a bit too close to me and I took over my access and then I give you such a hand job. Me, instead of the hand job, you just put the rain check on the hand job. If you introduce your Me, Casa item, you're in the Cas protection league.
So, a book that I think you might like. Okay. So, you might read a benefit from. It's called The Highway Code for Happiness by Michael and Hillary Potter.
Perot. Perot. Let's fucking read. Oh, okay.
It's the Queen. We're in a section now. Yeah. All right.
Good. Now, this is the Highway Code for Happiness, but I'm happy. You are. You said in my episode, yeah, I dream about touching a girl who gave you intimacy.
That's true. And you were quite open about it. Now, this is a second hand up. That down.
This is a second hand. All right. So, yeah, yeah, it is because I can see in the first page it was given to someone in 2011. Oh, the person who gave it was called Samuel Heffsilod.
You call me Heffsilod. I'm inside. I don't know if I'll have a little inside. Yeah.
Well, what do you think that says? Heffsilod. Heffsolod. Heffsol.
Heffsol. It's weird. No, it's Sam Heffsicle. And it's bless.
It says bless you. Bless I bless it. Bless. Bless.
Bless from Sam Heffsicle. Anyway, so they gave you someone and they obviously either learned their whole Highway Code for Happiness and became happy or thought, oh, this piece of shit is cluttering up my fucking drawer and it was from that can't Sam Heffsicle. And I look at it, just shows you that I haven't figured my life out yet. It's a big fact.
It's all the belongings down to a charity shop. This book being one of the and it leaves on there is one opportunity for happiness on the door set of a charity shop. It's all like the Highway Code. So it's all in the special highways in Great Britain.
Yeah. The road signs and the rules and the roads. Yes, God. Searching.
What's the contents of the book? Contents you've got on page nine. Yeah, which is a good detail everyone is no searching for happiness. Unmet longing.
That's what you would. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Life needs meaning. Does your life have meaning?
You like this is meaning we could happiness people. And the last chapter in Search of Happiness, where are we going? Oh, God, that's deep. Then.
Yeah. So those are the issues. Yeah. Then the next chapter, managing the mind.
Oh, understanding ourselves. Training the mind. Okay, don't think about Fanny. Things like that.
Come up. Think about it. Go on. Don't mention wanking.
Stress and distress. Wanking. Dreams, goals and plans. Now, let's what's what's dreams?
We can look at your dreams. Okay. No, but that doesn't mean dreams like that means dreams as an ambition. Oh, doesn't mean funny little anxiety dreams about not being loved by a lady in a long time.
Unmet longing. I think that covers it. Right. Yeah.
Let's see what I should do. The desire is so deep that has the body needs breath. So the heart craves happiness. This is shit.
This book. God, I think so. Why then is this universal longing? So often, unmet because you're lonely ugly, dirty, smelly, fucking gnome.
Why? No, lies in the very nature of happiness. A child who tries to catch his own shadow will always be empty handed and a mental child. What's Billy doing?
He's running around the walls. He's trying to capture his shadow in a jar. That kid needs help. It's an analogy, Paul.
Okay, I'll be. As he runs, the shadow runs from him. But let him turn and face the sun and run towards it. And he finds his shadow follows him deep deep fucking things.
Pro fucking found. Make me think that doesn't really see happiness for itself. And it escapes us. But if we aim for better, other, better, higher things, we are more likely to find it.
We can discover happiness when we're not looking for it. Yeah, I think this is going to be based on mindfulness, isn't it? So I'm fine. Look at this.
Right. Building the character. Character doesn't stay still. Everybody grows older.
When everyone grows up. That's fucking true. Character can go both ways. I still like playing with shit.
Some people end up as bundles of complaints and grievousness. Oh, doesn't sound like I know, poor miserable. And like spreading their misery around Eli. Others often in the face of adversity or the teeth of oppression never stop growing.
When the Bible says I never stopped growing. Did you notice that? What the Bible says? Oh, my God.
Suffering producers, perseverance, perseverance, character and character hope. What the saying is to really be happy, you've got to go through hell. You've got to be the survivor of his book saying. Here's happy with a bit of help from God, probably.
It's sort of mindfulness. It's sort of like, yeah, on the back, it says true contentment. I'll try that again. Yeah.
What do you? On the back, it says true contentment is the elusive piece of the jigsaw for many. Well, just stupid things to say, even hope there's no such thing here is some practical and down to web advice on how to find it. Michael Hiller, repair it off of valuable insights from their wide experience.
This is rich wisdom. Okay, fine. Well, there you go. That's all for you.
You might find contentment through that book. I bought that generally to help you. You want me to read? I want you to be happy Eli.
I want you to know I do as soon as I got out of true contentment. Yeah, it's the end of the podcast. But then my work on this planet is done. And then I get to jump into the quantum leap.
It's a long time to live. I'm standing back. He's inside me right now. And like, yeah, Al goes, Ziggy says, you're gonna make me like happy.
It shouldn't take that long 10 years later. Just read the fucking book. This is like, go home. Okay, thanks, Paul.
You're not happy with that. Oh, yeah. It's I'm not gonna read it. I'm too cynical.
I'll make I will read it. Maybe you should give it a read. You might find stuff I know about although why you're going it because I know it's like mindfulness meets, you know, what's the last page, though? I'll be joking.
Love shit. You're a can and a full off. Is it time for two cats? Yes.
You're getting like, we're back. Paul. Yes. I just like this item.
And I just didn't think about I'm gonna try to change you or how I'm trying to do to you. I just thought this is something cool. I thought this was a nice gesture. The happiness highway fucking code.
Yeah, give me a fucking break. I shit on it. Don't do that. Don't get mad again.
Right. Are you ready? Yeah. Oh, it's what is this?
It's Apache Big Chief toy. Excellent. It's a little action figure of a very racist interpretation of the race is because I don't think by and large they look like that. This is with hold of tops.
It's a lady. Yeah. But I don't think he had like holo jumpers back then back when back in the days when I tried not to try not to get in a quadmire here. Well, not trying to wait, but wait.
There are sweets involved. Yes. glucose sugar. What?
So the sweet and the little sweet and the toy sweet and toy combo. That's a strange thing. They're in a box. And it's in a box.
It's it's badly painted. Small toy of a native American. I got a delay though. It's quite large breasted.
Oh, right. So what have you got? Can we just please describe the figure? Okay, it's in plastic.
Native American action figure with a head dress. It looks like traffic cones on her head to the little tiny traffic lady. She's a lady. When you keep pointing out what I find really unsettling.
She's not a chief issue. So it's a misnomer as well. You can't be the chief. You're a lady.
I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I just don't know. Apparently, they had multiple genders.
Well, that's very progressive. I don't know how that works. I don't know why it came and shut all over. They have blankets man.
Well, man. Blanket man. smoke dwelling man. I don't know.
But actually, I'm making an effort there. I think with that. So a green top, but only on the front because the back is not painted at all. So it looks like she's got a spray on green top.
Does it go around a neck? No, just clap it on. It's just the front to be played. I'm just trying to imagine if it was a real item.
No, it's not. So she's wearing a little leafy trouser dress. What do you call that? grass skirt.
Skirt of some kind. But it makes it look like she's got a big full nappy or something. Yeah, like a big wanger. I'm just gonna let that hang up.
Yeah, it does hang like a massive wanger. It's not off. And that again has no back, does it? No, but it comes with a little staff.
Is there any articulation in the legs? No, it breaks if you try. Have you broken it? No, you Paul, it's Su Casa.
Describe her, she has two accessories. She has an accessory. She has a staff with a snake wrapped around it, a cobra. She that makes me think she's kind of a medicine woman.
She's some kind of shame. Win medicine lady. She's a shame and she can smoke car spells. That's pretty honest.
That is quite cool. That's got the horn. For beauty. Like a seriously make.
We've done these guys as well. We need to do better. We need to do better. We can't have this conversation now.
We are having this conversation now. We need to do better because you can't just say big one big tits go horn. It's not good enough. It's not cheap show level good enough.
What is cheap show level Paul? The coffee got willy bums. Shut the bed. Oh, you know that stuff.
And then there's some sweets. Are you going to taste the sweet? Yeah, so the fingers fine. It's not fine.
They haven't painted it at all in the back and all of the sections of the body in the back have big screw holes on them. It's an absolutely nasty and cheap and anorexically thin. This is a patchy tree for looks as well. Doesn't she?
It's a bad bowl. Right, so I'm going to open the sweets now. The garden is all sticky. Like the paint.
That is a terrible item. Right here, the sweet. The little pellets. Pellets.
Like tiny tic-tacs. Like smaller tic-tacs. Half the side. I got the sign.
Shapers are tic-tac. Just an upper sugar. Horrible. Very floral.
Yeah. Try one. They taste like nanny's mints. Yeah, they're not good.
It's just very bad. The whole thing is very bad. Who's it manufactured by? Well, I thought it was ages.
Really plus. I think it's on the back. That's for the who's. No, it's maxed toys.
MA double XT toys. Well, and it was 99p years as well. Oh, I shouldn't have. Sorry.
Oh, no. Maxie toys. Well, you spent 40p on the fucking highway co-founder. I think that was the comparison or anything.
But I spent over twice as much my toy for you. So who's me, Casa? And who's me? Casa.
Me, Casa. I'm the Casa. Oh, you're bossing ass. Really grabbing you, growing?
I was grabbing my groin, everybody. Pathetic. Pathetic. What do you think?
Pathetic. Worst me, Casa, Su, Casa, really? I'm happy with that. You're obviously not happy with the, what I thought, I touching Jesuits, trying to get some happiness in your life.
Look at the staff. Her staff of power though. You like the staff? I know.
She's spell cast a spell on me. On anyone who dares cross her. That's a good toy. It's not.
Look, it's a person of color and it's a lady. That's a positive toy for a little boy. It's almost instantly in the bin. All right.
And the sweets, they're going in the bin soon. Yeah, then, obviously. I want you to read that book. I want you to try and make a difference to your life and read that book.
You promise me? No. You promise me you read that book and get back to me? The fucking book and make a difference for you.
I need to change for me. Why should I? If I'm not unhappy, I'm fine. You all unhappy.
And if you're not, you should be. You have bad mental hygiene, my friend. How dare you? You don't you can't lecture me about being unhappy because I'm doing a couple of things in the Trump thing with my father.
It's quite addictive when you get into it. Yeah, you can't lecture me on mental health because your mental hygiene is off the level. Well, I like to think that we're discussing it. Oh, shit.
You fuck up in the head. I'm doing the voice again. You're like, no, no, no. You're not getting this quit back.
And I can push it further away from you with everyone's money on that bloody figure. It's better. I wins. It's not competition.
I win the non competition competition. Yeah. That's what I just said. Yeah.
You've got the best one me, me, me, and you're on the non competition. The wild, you want to get a dissection? Yes, we think. It's one of our most popular segments on the cheap show as we have it.
And it's called Silverman's Platter. What's on the Platter today? We've got a few items on the Platter today, Paul starting with our first item. What is our first item today?
You're telling me your knob scratch. All right, big boy. Something I picked up the other day. You know what people don't like when you do that in a language voice doesn't work.
Stop. Don't hit me. Stop. You can't listen.
Too fake. Your money. You need to step in line. All right.
We're doing something. We started that item well. Pick this up the other day, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, my brother's music.
It is the cabbage patch kids. LP cabbage patch dreams. Now, it sounds awful, but let's get a bit of context. The cabbage patch kids were a line of toys released in the mid to late 80s.
Well, this record is from 1984. So it's got to be around then, then. Yeah. 83, 84.
Right. And it was just a toy line where it was little very uniquely designed dolls with a kind of moon face hand stitch look to it, you know, that were all unique. Everyone was unique. How were they all unique?
It was just some smaller hair, eye color, a beauty spa. I said they were the way they were dressed. But something about the manufacturing technique, they managed to make something unique about every dog. Yeah.
And everyone came with a specific birth certificate. So it was all unique. You have adopted Sandra. That was a whole selling point wasn't it?
The uniqueness. And they were cool cabbage patch kids because they were grown magically in cabbage patch patches. Removing the messy business of human penises of a giant. And it was one of the biggest toys of the 80s.
Full stop. There are videos of parents trying to get them for Christmas and being violent with each other. I think it was one of the first times that that was in the media, a sort of crazed toy that like drove people to. It was definitely one of the first things.
I think Star Wars stuff maybe there might have been some of that. Yeah, crying demand for that. But yeah, this was like crazy though. I remember the time the craze eating each other up in stores to get their hands on them and traveling hundreds of miles for toy shops and find out which one they're getting the stock in that year because if their kid couldn't get cabbage patched off for Christmas.
Yes. And was there there must have been a cartoon as well? It probably was. Because this is the era of Reaganomics, ladies and gentlemen.
Yes. And what Reagan did, he... Why did you point to the cabbage patch dolls? I'm just trying to...
If like it was a cabbage patch Ronald Reagan doll, which it might have been. He deregulated every area of the economy in the States. So he deregulated the financial markets and everything which led to Wall Street going huge. But he also did it in terms of advertising and children's television.
Cross promotion. So before there were a lot of rules in place, laws in place where you couldn't have a TV show for kids that would simply an advert for a toy. But after the deregulation that Reagan brought in, you're good. And that's what this is because there's tracks on here that are simply describing a toy really to a child.
It's sort of like, you have a special friend and you have a good night and you have a good... And if you want special, all these are basically an ad for the toy. Oh no, it's basically a concept album featuring the cabbage patched dolls. So there's a story running through it of these villains who want to get rid of the cabbage patched dolls because of reason.
But it is part of that whole era where this you can see this wasn't conceived as a creative project before the toy came along. The toy was the first thing. Which led to this. You see the image.
Someone said, hey, you got this toy and this is the concept. So if the concept isn't coming from creative people trying to make his toys, it's coming from directly from the toy manufacturers trying to sell the stuff. We should admit it in that way, it is very emblematic or typical of Reagan era toys. Like he man and his former being the other one.
All of those, they're toys first and then the creative thing. So it's after all that shit. And again, it's like, we just needed to come up with this story. He always journeyed for these characters and they're going to learn something along the way.
But what we're going to do is play a song from the album right now. It's not the theme tune to Kelly Patch Kids. It's a song called Villains Three. Why did we decide to play this song from the album?
Because this has the villains of the piece. Yes. Introducing them. There's a girl villain.
Yes. It's called Valant Valant. She's called Lavender. I don't know.
Anyway, but as we listen to this, Paul, we noticed the two, her two henchmen, one who's the cabbage eater, the other one who is a cunning snake in the greedy. They're kind of racist and stereotyped. It's a little bit legal. The cabbage eater kind of the Negro, you know, it's the rare rabbit country.