Ep. (54) We will treat others how we treat ourselves

What if the way you treat everyone around you is just leaking out from the way you quietly treat yourself?In this episode of Triggered & True, Laura Duncan and co-host Brian Freise put a revealing spin on the golden rule. We know "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" — but this conversation flips it: we will treat others the way we treat ourselves, whether or not we mean to. And once you see that, the pressure to be a better friend, partner, or parent shifts to something far more freeing.Laura and Brian start by exposing the quiet manipulation hiding in the usual reading of the golden rule — loving others the way you want to be loved, hoping it boomerangs back, which fails the moment someone's needs differ from yours (they nod to the Five Love Languages here). Then they get to the heart of it: the harsh judgment we aim at others is a mirror of the judgment we aim at ourselves, even when we'd never admit it. They unpack "shame highs" and "shame lows" — how feeling good about yourself for doing well is just as conditional as feeling bad for doing poorly — and why you simply cannot out-communicate a root of self-hatred: if underneath it all you don't like who you are, that's what gets transmitted, no matter how carefully you word things. The freeing turn: you are the gatekeeper of your own value, and loving others well begins with tending your own heart.In this episode: 🔹 The golden rule, flipped: we treat others the way we treat ourselves — intended or not 🔹 The hidden manipulation of loving others "to be loved" — and why it wears you out 🔹 Judgment as a mirror: how criticism of others reflects how we see ourselves 🔹 "Shame highs" and "shame lows" — why feeling good for doing well is just as conditional 🔹 Why you can't out-communicate self-hatred — and why you're the gatekeeper of your own worth📩 Get your free Weekly Dose of Compassion — two short notes in your inbox every week. One to speak over yourself. One from Laura: https://www.lauraduncan.com/pl/2148814868🔗 Learn more: https://triggeredandtrue.com https://lauraduncan.com