EPISODE · Aug 15, 2026 · 51 MIN
Ep. 54 Why You Can’t Stay Calm When Your PDA or Autistic Child Is Hitting You (Part 1)
from The Regulated Parent · host Afshan Tafler
You’ve been told to “just stay calm” while your child rages, hits, or destroys things — and then quietly beaten yourself up when you couldn’t. Here’s the truth: you are not supposed to feel calm in those moments. It isn’t possible — and chasing calm might actually be making them harder.In Part 1 of this two-part series on aggression, parenting coach Afshan (mom to a once-five-hours-a-day melting-down kid) walks you through what’s really happening inside YOU first: the survival patterns we fall into without realizing, the nervous-system science that finally takes the shame off, and the shift that changes everything — from “what do I do?” to “how do I be?” Because your own regulated-enough nervous system is the real intervention.This is the foundation. Part 2 gets into what to actually do when the aggression is aimed right at you — including the hitting.→ Read the blog version: https://www.illuminateu.ca/blog/why-you-can-t-stay-calm-when-your-pda-or-autistic-child-is-hitting-you-part-1→ Free guide — The 3 Shifts To Make During Your Child’s Meltdowns: https://www.illuminateu.ca/3-shifts-free-guide → Join the priority list for The Regulation Rebuild course: https://www.illuminateu.ca/regulation-rebuild-course-priority
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Ep. 54 Why You Can’t Stay Calm When Your PDA or Autistic Child Is Hitting You (Part 1)
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