EP 549: How Making Up Stories About Things Are Making Things So Much Worse with Shannon

How often do you mistake the story in your head for the truth? In this deeply insightful coaching session, Christine works with Shannon, who has spent much of her life feeling like she's waiting for people to leave her. Growing up with a mother struggling with severe mental illness and a father who was absent for most of her life due to incarceration, Shannon learned to survive by becoming hypervigilant. Now, as an adult, those same survival strategies show up in her closest relationships. A small comment from her partner becomes evidence that he's leaving. A text message that goes unanswered becomes proof she's being rejected. A misunderstanding quickly spirals into a painful story about not being enough. Together, Christine and Shannon explore anxious attachment, abandonment wounds, childhood survival strategies, and one of the most powerful communication tools you can use to interrupt emotional spirals before they damage your relationships. Christine reminds us that message sent is not always message received—and that many of the stories we create during moments of fear have far more to do with our past than with what's actually happening in the present. If you've ever caught yourself assuming the worst, overthinking someone's words, or convincing yourself that people are pulling away without real evidence, this episode will help you slow down, seek clarity, and respond from your adult self instead of your wounded inner child. Press play to learn how changing one simple phrase can transform your relationships—and your peace of mind. Consider / Ask Yourself Do you often assume the worst when someone says or does something unexpected? Are you making decisions based on facts—or on stories your fear is creating? Do you struggle to know whether you're truly being hurt or simply being triggered? What would change if you asked for clarity instead of making assumptions? Key Insights and A-Ha's Childhood abandonment wounds can create hypervigilance in adult relationships. Survival strategies that once protected you may now be creating distance from the people you love. Triggers often distort reality, causing us to assign meaning that was never intended. Vulnerability creates connection; assumptions create isolation. Healthy relationships require clarification—not mind reading. How to Deepen the Work Practice using the phrases: "The story I'm making up in my head is..." and "What I'm making this mean is..."before reacting. Notice when your nervous system jumps to worst-case scenarios and pause before taking action. Give trusted people the opportunity to clarify their intentions before assuming rejection. Remember that seeking clarification is an act of self-advocacy, not weakness. Resources Mentioned in This Episode One-on-One Coaching with Christine Christine shares that she's opening additional one-on-one coaching spots, returning to what she calls "the basics"—real human connection, personalized guidance, and transformational coaching. To learn more, email: [email protected] Featured Sponsor: Peluva Barefoot Shoes Christine shares why she loves Peluva, a five-toe minimalist shoe designed to support natural foot movement, strengthen the feet, and provide all-day comfort. Use code CHRISTINE for 10% off your first pair. Shop Peluva through Christine's link   Social Media + Resources:  Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler @ChristineHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Email: [email protected] — For information on any of my services! Get on the waitlist to be coached on the show! Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches!