Wow, wow, Wes. Oh, he's a pro now. Yo. Got that gator clap.
The gator hands. Yeah, boy, gator. Yeah, LeMire did a fantastic job. Thank you, LeMire.
Yeah, you did. You saved my bottom. Yeah, you really edited out the entire episode. Yeah, is that right?
Yeah, we did a full episode of us trying to break down all the world's ills. Yeah, I think it was great. We both stuttered and stammered like uncles. Okay, man, I just don't like, it's not nice, violence.
Oh, yeah. I suppose people wouldn't be so mean. Yeah, let's keep that out. Both sides do it.
Both sides do it. We need to both sides do it for an hour. I think negativity's done. I think it might not be cool anymore to be negative.
We can break it back. You already had a good plan. Max planned his evil little plan already. I don't even think you should say the plan.
It was just a funny thing. It was funny. But everyone's back, dude. You know, free speech.
Meetings, roll. We are the thing. If I'm all the same, the fucking second the government starts censoring us, you know fascism is right around the corner. That was good.
That was good to see everybody stick up for him for free speech and I'm just glad they were all there for me back in 2019. You know, he's my brother and being canceled now. There's probably a very nice kind of modern house on the hills in L.A. You had to sit there and just warm him.
You didn't have to lay on a mattress in Queens with two snarky roommates. They were like, did you write that apology? Yeah, I could tell. What the fuck?
This is nice. I do like how he was so snippet. He called Rogan a moderate and one lady in the crowd thought that was a joke. She was like, oh, you got that wrong, bitch.
It was you. You got nasty lid. Yeah, she can't be nasty. No one can be nasty now.
You're going to knock it off. Try not to be nasty. I'm never nasty. Nasty.
Nasty, dude. We're healing the nation with our truth, dude. I hope the government doesn't fucking get one of us. No more 40 basins.
Get out of here. Clip it down. Watch your formation. Which government?
That's what you're worried about. Are you talking to you, Sam? No. I mean, kind of.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear you saying, brother. So you just got back from Italy, the motherland? I did just get back from the old country.
How'd it go? It was nice. It was beautiful. I liked going to Rome.
Rome was so sick. I was tripping out on that. I didn't sleep, though. I never adjusted to the time difference.
Were you drinking Cheatland brusco wine so I never adjusted to the time and that really stunk. It's a little bit more the same. Exactly the same, yeah. Yeah, that's what I was just saying.
When I went to Spain, I was like, I'll be different over here. No, yeah. I just ate up till 5 a.m. I just woke up, the sun was going down.
I was like, oh, shit, I need meals. I'm related to what you said, too, about how America's so much better than just convenience-wise and comfortability-wise. It's like Wi-Fi is bad, outlets are dumb, stuff closes. You might change in Italy.
You might have COVID-19. I might have Italian COVID-19, bro. You might have that fashion show I don't think so. I feel pretty good now, but I did get a cold.
Actually, the travel was like, I don't know, I was telling the mayor when I was going because I haven't really left the country since I was a really young kid and went to Mexico and stuff. So I thought I was going to be like, I didn't want to go. I was like, I don't like traveling. I thought it was going to be expansive.
I was just nervous. I don't like leaving my house. So I was like, I never got why people want to go places for no reason. And I was like, maybe when I go there though, I'll have some wanderlust thrust upon me and I want to go see the world and I couldn't have been more wrong.
It took me a while. I don't know. I disagree. I don't fucking rules.
Well, that's what I was saying before. I think if I went to an English speaking country or even a country where I could speak the language, I'd be more comfortable. People speaking Italian, I use very anxiety. I'm like an English guy, but when they start speaking really fast at you, I was just like, I'm American, I'm American.
A lot of them thought I was Australian though, so I started lying when I got drunk and I'd be like, Australian. Yeah, have those guys get your face. I did run into two ruffians though. I was stumbling home at like three in the morning.
I stayed up for like 26 hours as soon as I got there. I went to that like 7 a.m. and like went to the Coliseum and saw everything. And that was so cool because I was like, I've never been on a road this old before.
I've never been in a place this old before. So that part was awesome. Did you pretend you were like a warrior slave entering the Coliseum and you had to fight for your honor? No, but it does cross your mind.
I think every man in that Coliseum was like, man, I would stand a target in here. No problem. It's so cool. The Coliseum was so cool and all like the old structures and stuff.
Is anyone in there like, is everyone looking at anyone like fuck around? It's just like a zillion Taurus, like as many Taurus as you could possibly imagine from everywhere. Yeah, probably mostly Asian, right? Really?
That's kind of where I was. I didn't want to be rude. I was like, I was like, because remember when we were young it was all like fucking Z's Americans or something and now they're all like, damn, we miss the Americans. It's all Chinese now.
We didn't realize how good we had it with the Americans. There's a lot of Indians in Rome too like trying to like peddle their like water bottles and they're like their Mexicans, I think. They got lost on the self-road and no offense. Yeah, yeah, we were battling an old Indian couple on the plane recently went to a wedding this weekend and it was like, just the personal space issue from the East.
The real couple. Bro, like the budding is just like insane. Buddy in line? Yeah, we're like waiting to get on the plane.
Fucking crazy. The old Indian couple just fucking butted us and I had to be like, yeah, this is a fucking train, dude. Back it up, man. We're not fucking jamming in here.
Wait. Yeah, chill, man. We got plenty of rooms. I was like front and center ready to get on.
They just like started doing it. I was like, also I'm tired of Europeans being like Americans are so obnoxious. It's like, I was telling them in Italy, they all sort of like, they're not a very like, the customer's always right thing. And I was telling them, they all act like with like a sort of air that they were around thousands of years ago when the Roman, it's like you weren't there when the policy was being built.
You're just the guy that was happening to be born here. I don't know. Maybe it was all in my head. They're connected to tradition.
They're connected to deep tradition. They operate that way. They reminded me of like how people describe the French where it's like, I feel like they don't like me because I'm American. But maybe that was just in my head.
It's probably in your head a little. Yeah. Because I was always told the Italians are a lot like the Spanish. And the Spanish were very, they were like happy to see.
I guess it depends where you are. You weren't very tourist heavy. I was more of a montanhas. Yeah, true.
Off the beaten path. I tried to go off the beaten path. I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. Off the beaten path is scary.
I was really scared. Before I met up with all my friends, I felt nervous. Yeah, you're gonna attack my ruffian. I thought I was gonna get out molested or something.
A couple of young Italian boys and young can molested. Yeah, I was gonna get sexually harassed or something. What? As soon as I got off the plane, I was getting a taxi I was like, he's talking about the bang boost.
The Italian job. I like that ass. He kept trying to get me in. He was like, guys with neck tattoos and stuff.
They looked like dirtbag Italians and they were like, get in the taxi, get in the taxi. I was like, no, no. They used to get in, they pinch your butt and kick you out. I kept saying, what's wrong with your head?
They kept saying that to me over and over again. That was fucking pissing you off so bad. Over your head? Yeah, what's wrong with your head?
Tutu, tutu, tutu. What's wrong with your head? And I was just like, no, no, no. I just kept saying no over and over again.
It's like, fuck your head. Your head sucks. It's full of dumb Italian thoughts. I can't go to Italy.
My wife wants to go to Italy so bad. The Italians are the worst one. And also, I think you're confusing me. Black ladies love Italian guys.
It's the thing, man. I was talking to Nate about this. Black people love Italians. They sweat Italians so hard.
I'm always evangelizing. I'm like, dude, Italians suck. Irish people rule. I'm sorry, Irish people.
It's hard pitching Irish swag to black people. Now we're just quiet and we just grumble to ourselves silently. We don't wear any cool jewelry and they're just like, Italian guys are so cool. But I think Italian Americans are way different.
Yeah. Yeah, they are. That's true. Are they smaller over there too?
Yeah, they all look like they're like a thousand years. They look like pygmies or something. They're tiny, bro. Like everyone there, they could be 20 and they still look like an old person for some reason.
Maybe I'm just a really dumb American. I think I was missing the chemicals that I'm desperately addicted to and stuff like that. I was like, thank you. I ran out of school.
I fell in packing on school when I went to Spain. I ran out right away. Oh, no. I had to go straight to Cigs, dude.
Lucky drug, dude. I felt like a fucking GI. No boy. Yeah.
No boy, dude. The Cigs are different. They have scary pictures on the Cigs. Yeah, they do.
They love the scary pictures. Yeah, I want to do a cigarette company where it's like, warning, these are so cool. You might die, but that's also so cool. If you die from Cigs, it'd be so cool.
It's like, you're going to die anyway, dude. We're cool. I'm going to do a big picture of a guy in a fast car just hanging out the window. Live fast, die young.
Yeah, I want to do a scary warning. Yeah, you go to Disco Tech. No, I didn't go to Disco Tech. I was in Rome for a day, so I just kind of drank outside.
There wasn't any bar bars. What? What? Did you do what the Romans do?
I did. I drank outside. There's a lot of foreign exchange students or not study abroad kids from a bunch of countries. It was lively.
It was like a city. So we just drank outside. There's no bars that we went to. It's just like you sit at a table and they bring you drinks.
Yeah, I feel like the lack of muscle mass in Europe is humiliating. They're really small. They're shrimps, dude. I do have a big friend, my friend Mike.
I'm sorry. We're post-negativity. I don't know why. I don't want to be negative.
I'll just be pro-man. It's just basic American for itself. I'm talking about basic American for itself. That's right.
I stayed in my hotel next to the anti-mafia building, so that was kind of intimidating. Yeah, there's like, he has the silly hats with like rifles. Was he anti-mafia? Yeah, I don't know what that means.
Yeah, it was anti-mafia. And they kept like checking in with me when I'm like smoking a cigarette outside the hotel because I guess like their politicians go there and stuff or whatever. Is that like it? That's like no mafia guys can go in there?
I guess not. I don't know. That's weird. That's a police station.
Yeah, pretty much. They walk in the past and they go, don't forget about it. All right, you're in. You're good.
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Sorry, I just came from the spring, dude. I'm just funny. Yeah, we just got out of the water. I've been on my Italian shit.
I've been watching a Mussolini show. The fascistas. Yeah, the fascistas. It's a good show.
It's on some made-up fucking European network. I think it's just like when you love the president so much, you'll beat somebody up. Yeah, it's kind of hard to put a real definition to it, but if you look up the definition, that's why it's so easy to call anyone a fascist. Yeah, I know.
The definition does. It's like if you will resort to violence. It's also, it is socialism. That's why I always struggle with it.
Yeah. Because I was always like, isn't that more government? So doesn't that mean it's left? But it's not.
It's a far-right version of more government. I fucking find out. Yeah, I think it's like military-led. That's the exact definition.
I've looked it up a hundred times. It's kind of vague. Yeah, I looked it up this week. Force?
I've looked it up. Nationalist, authoritarian, political ideology, characterized by a dictator, aggressive, nationalism, militarism, force of suppression of opposition. It's a system in which the government controls most aspects of public and private life and exalts the nation or race above the individual. Okay.
So again, what the fuck's the difference between communism and that? I don't know. Have you ever gotten into what's it called? Luxury, automated luxury communism?
No. That's a big talking point. They're like, dude, machines are going to get so cool. You know when you're in communism, it sucks, you can only have a little bit of bread.
Usually the economy kind of falls apart. There's guys that are saying one day we'll have such good automation that everything will be on demand. We'll be like, it's like luxury communism. Just like, yeah, sure.
Let me know. I'll check that out. A thousand years away. I know.
We're not close. Yeah. Rogan was talking about last night because he loves the AI. And I'm just sitting there like, I'm not worried about it.
Is he worried or anything? He's like AI. Yeah. And he talks to those guys.
Yeah. They're all like, yeah. I don't know. I fuck with it here and there and it just seems like super cool to me.
Now, I'm sure if you own JGBT and you could like take the blinders off, maybe you could be like setting up a geopolitical, you know, if you took all the moral frameworks off it, you could probably do some cool stuff. JGBT like infringed. I was, it freaked me out. You got to speak up.
Sorry. Yeah, man, we're not in fucking Italy, dude. Oh my God. Back in America, you got to pronounce your words.
You get so startled. You got startled. Just yakking you, bro. JGBT, you know what, never mind.
What is that? No, no, no, no. Just a yank, dude. The bag's on you.
I was just on the bag, dude. Who's off of that? I asked if I could take Xanax and NyQuil at the same time because I wanted to sleep on my flight. And then I asked something about like pills yesterday and it said like, you can't take that with Xanax though.
Like I remembered that I asked about Xanax two days before. You're probably in the same chat. If you're in the same... Yeah, I wasn't.
Really? Yeah, it was a new chat. I don't like that you remember that I asked you that. And I said, I'm sorry, I won't do it again.
That's fair, check your Xanax use? Yeah. How did that work? I didn't take the Xanax.
I just took the NyQuil and passed out. Yeah, that worked. It was nice, yeah. Nice.
The flight was brutal though because I'm a hopeless nicotine addict, so. What'd you do? I just did a bunch of Xans. I thought that was going somewhere else.
No, no. The nicotine, I was like, oh no. I just did Zins and got really, really angry because they don't really help still. Really?
I still really want cigarettes. Yeah, it was like nine and a half hours. Dang. Yeah, it sucked.
Did you get first class? No, hell no. You got it. You got it on that one.
It's so expensive, but you got it. Yeah, I didn't do that. It's worth every penny on that. It was brutal, yeah.
There was a heavyset woman Next to me Whose buttocks Was just pouring into my seat The whole flight It was kind of comfy You probably were like Yeah It was kind of a nice Extra people Yeah that's for real Not the worst case scenario Yeah it was a guy Yeah exactly I feel like that's not bad Having a big fat lady butt Spilling your territory Yeah that wasn't the worst Because I had to do to JFK And then come here from JFK So it was like Nine and a half hours to JFK And then five hours here It sucked balls But on the way here There's like a guy on his laptop With like his elbows out In coaching That's a crazy move My thing was I was thinking on the plane I was like If you're going to work On your laptop You should be in first class Yeah Because if you ain't making that bread You're working hard enough To be tight He's trying to get there dude Also I've got a coach The Ravens run Just watch the Ravens game No laptop I'm all laptop I know but you're in the front I sometimes have to do coach sometimes And I just fucking Elbows and T-Rex arms And I just type type type I was in the middle though Because I had to get like switched I was supposed to go to Boston And then Austin And then that got delayed So I would have never made it So they switched me to JFK to Austin So I had comfort plus I sprung for comfort plus But then the new flight I didn't get comfort plus I got middle seat And he kept smelling to my side And he would wake up I'm so sorry man I was just like Bro you can't help me You're fine Don't sweat it Exactly And I was like It was two big dogs And then me And then it was just like You don't deserve the armrest And I was like We're fucked There's literally There's nowhere you can go He was just trying to sit politely But he was just Damn window seat coach We go whiz Fuck everyone has to get up That sucks I went aisle Because I just like to get up I like to move around the play a lot So I was like When I have to ask people Especially when they're like It's like bro get up Dude on the Italy flight Everyone's sleeping So I had to like Wake the heavyside lady up To go to the bathroom And I felt so bad And I was like I had to like poke her a bunch of times I had to like two hours I was like I find a nerve And just What did you do when you She was so sweet I feel bad even talking about her Like this But she was so nice about it The guy on the computer I asked too And he was like One second And he like finished typing something And I was like Bro get your broke ass up I'm taking number one Yeah turn off the fucking powerpoint dude Let's go I feel bad about being in Italy too My friends are going to watch this I was so happy to see all my friends Are they from Italy? No but I just don't want to act Like I didn't have a bad time It was an awesome time No I think it was nice Okay Sometimes they all listen to this People listen to this I forget to You don't want to be like His wedding's stuck Yeah his wedding was the most amazing wedding There was in the Tuscan Hills It was like beautiful How much did you give him for a gift? Do you mind me asking? I gave him 300 And I felt like that wasn't I felt like my other friend You flew to Italy bro Is that not good?
Like I thought that was good Just you or do you have a guest? Just me I think it was fine dude 300 American yeah But like my other friend gave more And I felt like kind of bad Yeah I think that's fine I was like dude I thought that was a guy's trip Wait what do you mean? He was saying it was gay marriage Oh I didn't want to see him He was heterosexual He's heterosexual yeah Whose idea was it? His idea to go in Italy or the wife's?
I'm not sure Damn dude Fucking marriage in Italy What a beautiful thing I hope that lady's nice to him Because I'd be really mad They're both like the nicest guys Yeah I'd hold that over for a decade 25 years Wouldn't matter 25 years ago Remember Italy? It was incredible I did that too It was fucking $900,000 It was so awesome It was crazy We were in a little fucking money What the fuck Good about a house Dude the stars See like we stayed in like a villa In like farmland So the stars I saw like five shooting stars The first one I saw I was like That's a UFO That's a UFO I was like I didn't make any I was so drunk And on mushrooms every night We did a bunch of mushrooms That was cool The lady who owned the villa When I met her I had to give her my passports To check in And she was like You have an Italian surname Wait what's the fuck So I got a That was definitely my ring camera And I watched LeMaire Find out the Chipotle's here Saw the buzz I was like That's gotta be the ring camera I saw LeMaire go And you have to go back to work I'm sorry Chipotle's here Dang I'm sorry I'm going on and on I was at a wedding this weekend as well And I was at a camp It was nice It was like an outdoor It was like a kid's camp I saw your flip Yeah I saw your flip I appreciate that I almost reposted it I was fired up It was alright Thank you It's actually easier to flip From something higher How tall was it like It was like 10 feet You were hitting flips today Yeah this diving board First day I swam in the crisp water Yeah it was a far swim It was a hard swim Yeah we swam I didn't realize there was a current In that thing Yeah we got that We got that on one end It was like Oh fuck We had a current We were both like God damn I love that water I've only been there once And I was like Before I'd been there I was like Yeah I'm going to try To start hitting his tits there Yeah I think Austin has really Loosed tit laws Austin does have Really loosed tit laws I think you'll have to Just rock him out I saw a kid in my neighborhood Who didn't look like a crazy Almost like he just had her tits out Just walked down the street Totally tits out And it was just kind of like That would scare me I don't think something was happening I mean there was something happening Obviously You're right though It's not really that horny making You see it It was kind of concerning But she wasn't like If she was naked She was like on drugs She was just walking Just kind of pants on Somewhat normal Just pad the titties out In your neighborhood? Yeah That's really fucking weird It's crazy Call the cops here Call the cops Bro I'm scared I'm like do something You guys better get down 9-1-1 party Call me quick I don't want a party No it is kind of It's good they cover them up You really need to have I wish there was a bra law No bra fucks me up No bra might fuck me up More than just bare titties out Yeah bare titties are scary Walking in the neighborhood Bare titties I'd be like that lady's Having a mental breakdown No bra law Yeah They need to stop There's nothing they love More than watching Them being like Completely suppressed And being like It's better not happen So you guys would be happier I still tell my wife You'd actually love this You'd love that You'd fucking love it Yeah I watched a brutal one My wife had control of the movie I had a movie And then she got to do We did the kissing booth She's like firing up a movie She watched a long time ago You're gonna love this And then watching She's like oh my god This is so bad I'm like bro This is Kissing booth is Again we're post negativity But there's an aspect of the movie Where it's a So it's about a girl Who's like best friends With this guy And they're like Dance revolution together And they're just like Oh yeah let's go bro But then the guy's older brother Is an absolute hunk And she obviously Eventually fucks the older brother But then her friend Who's like the little brother Is like I thought you guys were friends That's the whole crux of the movie So dumb And he also has a girlfriend So he's Does the little brother Ever get smashed No never They'll be like Hanging out in the pool She'll get her brought in the pool And be like Oh what are you doing here This is crazy Let's go best friend Kissing booth Yeah Kissing booth It's thanks It's a bad movie It's a bad movie But it's like What's the fucking guy's name It's the dude from Did you see Saltburn The big hunky guy He's a wild hunk He wears cool clothes all the time He's a massive hunk I think he is Aquaman is just too damn much I feel like He's a mythical hunk He's a mythical hunk He has a sick show Aquaman is about the Hawaiian islands What? Jacob Elordi He is the top hunk Aquaman is a warrior movie In Hawaii It's pretty sick But I was watching it And I was like We need the British dude We need to get guys with rifles To show up Knock it off hunks Knock it off the funny Knock it off the hunks With sticks coming out of the water So Aquaman's from Hawaii?
Yeah Dang I think he's Hawaiian That makes sense He's like from where the rock Kind of where the rock Just think of the rock Aquaman running at you And Troy Palamalu And all the fucking You need gay British guys That's true Hold on Listen to us Let's discuss the concept Of land ownership He's from Hawaii Dang Honolulu Yeah they crank out They'll crank out They'll spend every thousand years Or something Just like four massive hunks emerge Some of them just sprouts up Because they're fucking stock Every 150 years He erupts in fucking six hunks Head of the mainland And then us whites have to be like Get him out of here Let's go to the hunk Yeah they come out like Chew That's my line of reference I guess Yeah what's that Jacob Jacob Elordi He's a real bad man We gotta get rid of that hunk dude Yeah I mean that is a Dude you have to watch Salt Bernice I can't I heard somebody Sucking come out of a drain dude I'm not watching Once one person told me that I was like I'm never gonna watch that movie It's just like What would happen if you put The horniest gay psycho Around a hunk Actually he's more kind of Homosexual I think He's pretty funny Doesn't he fuck the whole family Or something Yeah he kind of like Fuck the whole family I didn't know that was even in the movie I turned around and was like Jesus Christ It got me I have a pretty high tolerance For like weird shit Yeah he's fucking come out of a tub It's fucking devastating That's disgusting Yeah feeding on the shower slugs It's crazy Dude think of just the prosthetic Shower slug they brought in Even doing that was disgusting Yeah apparently And there's another scene I don't want to spoil the movie But somebody dies in the movie That's very close to him That he liked a lot And he starts fucking The fresh soil on his grave And apparently He added that from what I heard Like he just They're like freak out And cry over his grave And he just on set Started fucking the dirt Yeah it's a That was Barry No no no Barry is just kind of like Barry's pretty fun Cool all the time Actually nice Kind of reminded me of myself Wait the honk sucked to cum No no no the honk So Barry sucked to cum Wait who's Barry The little Irish freak Okay my bad I thought Barry was a honk Yeah yeah yeah Yeah that guy He's a little Irish freak Dude came in It is funny because Again it is a spoiler But he like convinces the honk That he comes from This poor family of criminals And it's just all made up He's like oh Like my mother was an alcoholic He was so bad And then they visited his parents And there's a nice middle class family And he's like fuck He's all fucked up Yeah it's all burned It is funny I watched Sinners on the plane For the first time How was it? No comment Yeah Did you like it? It was fine It was pretty cool The fights were cool Yes I was like it was fine I was a little I felt a little bad Sinners was great Sinners was great as strong dude Yeah I thought it was great And I thought it was I don't think it was like It was a white man movie either I wasn't thinking I was going to be in it I think it was kind of like Bonding It was at the end Yeah I was at the end Yeah they bonded And when I was listening to The director or the writer Talk about why he made Irish It was because he was like I fuck with Irish shit Like I like the music I like the people And I think we have A lot in common And I think that made sense For the movie It's kind of sick That's right Whatever you say man I do feel like Irish music did get me like Yeah It was cool I liked it There was the one scene Where he's playing in the barn And then a Bootsy Collins Type character manifests And he's playing that part I was like this movie sucks And then it slowly started Winning me back by the end Where he killed all the KKK guys I was like alright This was actually got cool again That's right Wait so like He goes beast mode on KKK How's Bootsy Collins Come up in the thing It shows all the black music It was kind of the gay shit I thought it was funny This is our culture It's just a lady shaking her asshole Yeah It's just as good as old blues Our culture is evolving It was kind of like Yeah That part I hated It was okay And then that part made me hate it And then it sort of won me back With all the cool fights Yeah The fight had some holes in it Because I don't know The vampires suddenly became Bussies at one point Yeah The praise And then all the praise I felt like was a little overrated Of course It was a neat flick If you go to Whatever rides inside that Epcot ball They do like a European history Or like American Western civilization If you want to get that I can see it If you're black That's probably sick to watch Because I was on that ride In Disney World It's just like Basically European civilization And like from like the dawn of time All the way to modern times And you kind of do get fired up Like damn it's fucking sick I don't fucking know It goes all the way to the modern time And literally you end And you're like There's nothing you can't do It's pretty sick Yeah No seriously I'm in America I know but it's funny to be There's nothing you can't do That's what you got out of that If you went on Epcot You got out like The white race I'm telling you You know I'm the least racist guy In America dude That's true But if I got me Walt Disney's fucking anti-smart Dude fuck yeah It's pretty sick You just start and have It's like these little Like animatronic puppets Reenacting like all the eons Of history And it's actually pretty tight It's pretty sick I went to Epcot once Did you? My dad just got drunk The entire time Drank around the world It's just a bit crazy You can go on one ride My mom was like It's so nice You're taking him to Disney That's so fun I watched my dad drink At Disney Went on like two rides He got hammered Drove home Beast That's so tight It was funny Let's get out of here That was fun Yeah I went to Disney A long time ago My older brothers were beating me up For a lot of it I remember I ran away from them And hopped on a boat By myself as a child And it took me to Epcot I just walked around alone Disney World That's pretty cool It's pretty sick I remember I had still stitches in my lip And I just kind of like Walked around With a big cut of my face Just like my back home Was like tight Yeah Little 10 year old child What do you think about a Chipotle break?
Let's think a Chipotle break I gotta pee like I'm I'm out of Chipotle Time out This episode is brought to you by Hulu Glenn Powell is Chad Powers Coming September 30th To Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus Eight years after flushing his college football career Down the toilet Hotshot quarterback Russ Holliday makes a comeback Disguised as Chad Powers Sounds like an oddball athletic talent Who walks onto the struggling South Georgia catfish Determined to once again Take college football by storm Watch the hilarious new Hulu original series Chad Powers September 30th Streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus For bundle subscribers Time to play This is huge This is fucking huge Guys we have some clubs coming up I am very excited Here they are right now Helium Comedy Club Buffalo, New York October 17th Or October 18th as well Then Bricktown Comedy Club In Tulsa, Oklahoma That's 1024, 1025 Here comes a big one Off the Hook Comedy Club Naples, Florida November 7th, November 8th That's gonna be a good one Yeah October 17th and 18th I'm in Las Vegas November 7th and 8th The 7th November 7th 7th I'm in San Francisco November 8th I'm in Sacramento and then I got December 4th Tucson December 5th Phoenix so come on y'all what were we talking about before Chipotle so rudely interrupted us we were talking about Disney World Disney World oh yeah Disney World does rule I went there last year or a year or two ago I was hating on it I was like I got there it's pretty tight honestly it just gets too crowded isn't it like a conspiracy that they traffic children out of Disney World that's what I was thinking of when you said you were walking around alone I was worried you were going to get yeah I got it bro not me man you could really snag kids there pretty easy it gets so crowded I got kind of I was there with my kids and at one point at like noon it got so crowded you can hardly move so you have to like really kind of hold it they have like a tunnel system under there you know what they do in the tunnels yeah that's for trafficking kids yeah if you were like a child trafficking organization yeah I can see set up there honestly I got the coffee jitters right now I'm feeling weird thinking about child trafficking yeah I'm feeling really weird right now I feel weird that I'm talking different I go to a lot of I go to a lot of play places and they're worried about that where you have to get like a UV stamp on your hand that matches your kids because the stamps don't match up so I think in Texas if you have like they're like really worried about that because you can grab kids and three hours gone yeah so yeah you gotta be careful there's even like a there's an old lifestyle that they target near my house is like they'll like chalk tires that they see like just ladies with their kids will kind of mark your car so they'll kind of wait by it and snag your kids and come back I've heard about this could just be ladies scaring each other why would they chalk the tires just like it marks that way you kind of you have someone go by and mark it and another guy kind of just checks and waits by the car I guess I don't know to be honest because all that would do is see if you move that's why you chalk the tire really I don't know it's just ladies freaking each other out they go out and drink wine they're like I think they just are shopping and see Mexican guys like oh fuck no there's been through like the grapevine of like wives in the area I've heard of like there's a couple of them that claim to have encounters where like a guy was walking up to the car or something like that I've heard of that I've heard a few of these stories too what's going on with the guys I'm just walking up to the car going you are mine you are mine hey can I have your child please I'd like to take your kids dude it's my kids now they're building houses near my house and my kids come out every morning and go hola very sweet this one guy turned on the other day he's like hey hello guys and they're like hola English is boring and today the dudes get fired up and they're up on the roof and my kids are standing there hola I had some other guys on the construction site smashed my trash can what the fuck it was an accident it was with a lull it was like that like big giant forklift thing just smashed my planner and my trash can oh shit it's always weird though because like I don't fucking care it's like alright we'll get a new trash can we'll get a planner like they're gonna pay for they're a big construction company and like my wife is so mad I'm like yo this doesn't it doesn't matter I had to go over and talk to him I had the plumbers at my house right now there's roots in the plumbing and I was embarrassed because like yesterday and today they've been there and I went out like twice or three times and I was like I can like use the toilet right like I'm like asking them permission to shit I had plumbers here for the last two weeks and they told me the other time they were like 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. no plumbing around 1230, 1245 I was like it's gotta be done by now send a dump down the plumbing it was open I got phone calls immediately they're like you can't use the toilet where are you going? I don't know where the dump where the pile might come fly at one of the four bucks oh no I mean I thought they were gone dude oh dude they probably flew out of the side of the house that's right so Chipotle beer pile flying right at them yeah I was swarmed by 1245 where did they go?
how the hell they know? they knew right away I think it's literally an open pipe oh because they're doing like outside work they came back dude I was outside last time before they smashed my trash can and I was like so I had bought a bunch of soils I'm like planting a bunch of stuff and there was a guy behind the fence of the construction site just going like just I think it was a dump they were gone dude no one was here it wasn't here I know but I'm coming back to defending mine because I realize as a listener dude it's been a dump in my wall for fucking two years they finally fixed it but don't get me started on these new houses dude it's criminal frame them with 2x4s alone it's criminal dude it's gotta be 2x6s yeah they really they fuck everybody dude everything's I think this is wood but a lot of the houses are just all plastic it's like plastic fucking composite wood it's just basically like mushed together they really get away with murder and they just be like this is a luxury house yeah how it's in Austin it's $8 million this is they're doing whatever they're doing Philly too and it's just they build them don't get me started dude it pisses me off it's a really evil thing to do they're like I mean it's one thing trying to save some money but they'll like there's going to be massive problems and they're like sue us look I just spent all of my money on the town I can't sue you you made the house $10 million it's two bedrooms it's crazy yeah it's really shitty especially here they get fast and loose with the pool too yeah I went outside just a hot tub was empty one day just water I don't wear that water I know that's a big flight that's deep fucking six feet deep catamoling ah fuck are you just stuck down there we should get real litigious I'm gonna sue those builders for sure yeah it's time to start suing people yeah fuck it I won't be doing that I think yeah well whatever I do think because a guy we're like yo we got it and I went to like the actual I guess they have a bunch of subs and I went to like the foreman or manager and I was like hey I just want to follow up on this and he was like what he came and saw it and he was like you know who it was and I was like describe you guys he was just kind of I describe him yeah I don't want to pass the buck it's probably tough to yeah well the one guy was like a short kind of plump Mexican guy probably fine here and the other one was a short plump Mexican guy they got to know we have one of those giant fucking it's still going to be impossible where's Waldo picture yeah true we'll see we'll see what they come up with because my trash can is fucked up right now that's bullshit it's plastic right yeah they just fucking ran it over they're like giant it's like a forklift it's like a forklift that can extend like a boom and go up like three stories it's one of those they've been whipping those things around and they fucking caught my planter luckily I didn't have something in and I've been fucking pissed but it's empty it's like my watermelons growing I cannot wait to harvest my watermelons when does that happen I don't know I think in maybe a month or two all right well for being racist I was at a chicken chip bingo and it was me and three african-americans yeah and they feed the chicken watermelon do they really yeah and I was just standing there and I was like don't look dude you'll go crazy you see what's going on in there you're gonna go crazy don't look don't avert your eyes bro tie yourself to the mask it's like France they did the pigeons and cognac oh man things are probably good eating too we've talked about before black people get a terrible rap for that yeah that sucks so unfair the most delicious foods I told you I was working with a guy one time we're leaving a construction site and I don't know how we came into this wherever we were working maybe we're next to a supermarket and someone just like gave us some watermelon and some other stuff and my black co-worker was carrying the watermelon I could tell he was walking home with it and he was like walking back to the car at one point he was getting kind of uneasy and I was like bro we carry the thing for you he's like dude I just feel like crazy last night Brian Simpson walked in the green room eating a banana Tony was like he's like oh fuck and I was like Tony you can't eat it you can't eat it it's also funny I was like you can tie your hair back to eat bananas dude yeah getting crushed that hurts especially the fried chicken it's so good and meanwhile Koreans are the real fried chicken hounds Koreans love fried chicken yeah they're protecting the merchandise but the Korean black connection is strong the Korean black connection is strong very strong I used to work for a very racist Korean man who was stabbed twice he wasn't even stabbed twice I'm nice yeah the story was a convenience story that sold 40s he's like I worked in a 40 deli very bad neighbors the neighbors were very bad he got stabbed he sold down the 40 deli he was wearing his very green socks you're going to die in there he's going to go down the ship in the 40 deli 40 deli in North Millie it's just crazy polo fleece socks with lip blouse getting fucking poked for the 40s just two silver thunders like let him go bro they cost you $3 let him go they do defend their wares oh yeah you're not shoplifting they're coming out he get that thing on him he used to love to show us me and my brother work for him he'd be like pull it out I'm like dude sick man use it pussy you got a gun you got stabbed twice I think that's the reason you got a gun after the 60s stab me twice stab me twice he wasn't like he wasn't featuring all that mean about it he'd be like because I would have to deliver to certain areas and he'd be like be very careful lots of bad people he's just like you might get stabbed be careful it was never mean that was the one time he teetered on the edge that's fair though you get stabbed you get stabbed twice and somebody's going back to that neighborhood that would be like somebody going to Elm Street there's a great crew there so Michael Myers lives in that neighborhood so you might get stabbed it's a horror movie that's terrifying I've talked about it it always makes me laugh because he's always rattling off business ideas the one time he was talking about pet shops he's like pet shops is a good business I was like okay he's waiting for another delivery dude was the fucking man it sounds like so funny that was a guy who told me if I get my girlfriend pregnant I lose he's a fucking beast he's all over it I don't know what he's up to now he's probably been stabbed the third time I would drive deliveries he would sit in the passenger side Indian style and just be like what the such a beast there's a man he had a Beamer and he just eventually started loading it with beer in case of the beer and he's like take my car and he just trashed his car the Koreans are very fly they're the flyest Asians by far so Chinese people get fly but it's kind of like space age fly Koreans just like cop Beamers fucking crushed crushed white chicken really sick they definitely peep games you don't need to your boys though it is nice like having no having no fucking any worries at all just be like it's also too you can diagnose that problem by looking at a man's classic cancer it's probably really soft right now yeah dude you don't lie your penis is soft it's so small it's fucking Tuesday it's not a lot of pieces what the fuck we're in a chilly warehouse in December at 10 a.m it's crazy your dick is so soft I saw your face Nate you didn't like that you didn't like that I got away with saying that well it's fine it's nice you can kind of show your dick to some guy and I just watched makeup he's like and I'm Jesse no I'm embracing it now I'm leaving it it's fine I just still had normalize it it's fine post up I'm like what's up guys do a cool handshake I go what I'm sitting on a mare's egg for he's a dragon egg wait what he's got a dragon egg I'm sitting on a hatchet for it's the whole thing we're talking about we're joking around you're sitting on a mare's dragon egg I'm sitting on a mare's dragon egg you guys really don't know how to joke around about gay stuff this is crazy you guys are the first generation that's the white way of being constantly gay wait that's not how you use the shit what the name I'm gonna fucking throw up my boy just fucking smack his balls yeah I touched your penis today you got me underwater I was underwater yeah bro there's levels to this shit that's how you do it once your master is swimming you guys are gonna get swimming and gay shit some guy was like you wanna try these goggles I was like yeah I'll try and I put on goggles immediately just went underwater sweet mess balls you got a cold water piece there's nothing wrong going underwater and giving some little you can hear it through the water it was very funny yeah I was working with a little crap you had no power I had no power I didn't even think about that I didn't get a grip just so you know I was laughing like dang that was not a good one yeah somebody called my penis in there called a goldfish there's a goldfish got me down there just finding emo yeah it was water was cold it was refreshing though man but yeah it was chilly I was so yeah I just had to jump right in I can't walk in I gotta just I thought I could Godzilla walk that's a tough Godzilla walk I just stopped halfway it's worse it's worse that was my second time swimming today Godzilla walks powerfully on the cold water it's very tight that is very tight but yeah the die landed right on my back I tried it I just wanted to feel out a gainer off the diving board bro fucking landed flat my back fell on fire it hurt so bad but whatever it was fine the backflips have been I have a backflip right now you're over you're going too far you're getting too much time I landed like yeah right on my fucking face you're overextending on these flips you're too powerful I gotta get to the one and a half that'd be nasty hit the one and a half it'd be cool you're close I could yeah I could definitely do it you ever see those videos of African Americans jumping into the pool with all their clothes on I think that's a Memphis thing I love that yeah it's very fun to watch we should do that at Barton Springs we could do that at Barton Springs it'd be tough to get out fast true we gotta keep kind of cycling yeah yeah I was at a wedding recently and I had it was a black wedding and a lot of people were jumping in that night in all their clothes and I was kind of confused what is the next all the internet is okay were they doing that that was way flat we got the video I mean it looks cool in the video you jump in with all your clothes and what do you do after cut it up true I do like the black streaming game I don't understand any of it but there's massive fortunes being amassed yeah it's just fucking the line of chat flying down it's just like pretty sick I kind of want to steal the swag for all the episodes I have a fake chat like CTFU skulls we got for it just show an apartment I didn't realize he went to the show and those cameras had a huge light on it while Aaron Berg was on stage and he just hit the back filming Aaron Berg with a huge spotlight on it did a backflip barked and then ran out that's pretty sick what's all about Jungle Joe made an appearance who's that Jungle Joe oh nice we're in an hour okay hell yeah yeah there it is ciao bye Henry bye so you Thank you.