Are you ready? Are you ready to go? Are you ready? When are you ready to go, Eli?
Come on Eli! I was recording now. Eli, give us your disco intro. No, can I just please have my intro just be me introducing?
You're trying to do it, aren't you? You're trying to fucking have a little funny bit before I do my intro when you're out of the can. Oh, can I? So don't stop this recording now.
Are you ready for love? Come on get going. Don't look so depressed. Come on baby.
It's time for rock. I want you to bring the thunder. You know that magic you said I was asking to hold back. Santa, put on your magic hat, put on your magic gloves, your magic shoes, and Eli, get the magic out.
Weebleys and bledry men! You need to stop if you're going to be loud. Look, see I like to peek. You need to bring the wait.
You're going to show us. Stop the recording. It's going on. It's happening.
This is very tough. No, no one wants to hear it. It's the same fucking thing every week. Fuck you, you guys.
I'm a dickhead. It's me, peek behind the curtains. Let's have a proper intros once. It's not a fucking proper intros.
Do it if you do this! Just do it then. Can I just say one thing first? Yeah, yeah, can't.
You are. Wow, that's an early C word from you. I'm not gonna say it. I'm gonna bring a bit of respect to this part.
Fine, can I do the intro? Yes. Which has been completely ruined. Just do it.
Ladies and gentlemen, oh, I'm... Excellent start. Go on. It's that time again, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm Eli Silverman. Here I am in my very own House of Pickles. And it's time for the show that we like to call Jeep Show. Jeep Show it is.
It's Jeep Show it is. It's Morgana! Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the podcast.
We decided to call Jeep Show. The Economy Comedy Podcast full of brick-of-rack fun and magic. Oh, yeah. You hate you and your fucking mood repossi.
Come on, Dad, move. What? The fact that you chose looking half a percent. My mood was hot.
You can't take it. Hello. Welcome to the show. I'm not going on a nozzle.
So it's a podcast where, oh, hey, I don't know, three times a month basis. Eli and I go for the charity shop. Thrive's monthly. We have some fucking class.
Alright, thrice monthly. We go through the bargain bin, charity shops, power lands and boot sales of this country. Boot sales. Do you want boot sales?
Yeah, no, boot sales. That's a... I dropped the bar. A boot sale is something that happens in clerks.
Shoe shop. They sell their boots on sale. Yeah, but I'm not going to go. Let's go for shop.
Well, that's what people might think if they just knew to the... You know what people might think if they knew to the podcast, Paul? Well, who's this utter dick? Egging on this poor man to fucking do an intro.
But they're not actually using the intro. Just using his bullshit mocking. And then says boot sale like an idiot. What the fuck are you fucking...
Tell your mind. Oh, whatever. Right, so yeah, it's cheap show everybody. It's the record.
Earlier today, Eli told me on the bus that he didn't feel good. I think we'd all agree that. It's not an illness this time. It's just his body is clapped out with shit out.
Sugar going fatty. Oh my God, well you said you started it. That was eloquent. So I got on the show, Paul.
I've got more of this shit, obviously. Today on cheap show. No, really. I'm looking up at the list now.
I've got a check. We have an off brand off episode where little spoiler, we called it top of the pops. What do you think that means? It's about...
I'm not going to do a rhetorical question at the moment. Or is it? No, it is a question. God.
No, we're doing off brand off. Brand off. And then the return of a second we have done in a while since it's first outing, it's Paul's bottom shelf. Ah.
Well, I tell you about the HS that I found recently. Paul's. I'm not on the HS. I watch the DVD or the YouTube.
I'll be honest with you. You watch some of it on a YouTube. I watch all of it. I'm looking forward to hearing about it.
And then finally, Eli and I are playing a game that I found in a charity shop. And it's called Accentuate. But what does that mean? Find out later in the show.
Okay, good. Now I'm in the mood. Here comes the magic, Paul. Can I talk about this for the rest of the show?
I'd rather you didn't. I'd rather do. I'd rather do. Fuck, energy.
I've got my voice. Oh, yeah. How long is that going to last? Right.
It's lasting. Yeah, it is. I'll tell you what, it's still going. So let's move on.
This might be the most annoying episode of She Took a Listen to. Anyway, shall we show the show then? No, no. Tell us what it is for.
Give us a slap. Ah, thank you, Paul. Yes. I think we should always start with the most bit of the dance.
I have. Because it's my favorite segment of the show. Now it's a joke I've kind of batted into the ground about how every story you tell is practically the same. What the parameters of the story be?
Well, the parameters as long time as the show will know by now, it's your playing story. Yes. You're playing some great music. Yes.
At one of the bars you work out. Yes. A person comes up to you. Usually a lady.
Okay, so you're not nailing that on always a lady. Not always. It's nine times a day. Okay.
So it could be a lady or it could be a man. Or it could be a man that man tends to be a bit of a kind of a work for the weekend, kind of a suit wearing, scum baggy kind of guy. Right. Or a lady tends to be maybe for one of a better phrase.
But naive or just a young. They come up to you and ask for a song. Now usually the song is not your taste, not a broken for the night. Or they ask for the song in a very rude way.
Again, nine times out of ten with disdain. And then you go and that's my tells on the dance floor and then we've wasted seven minutes of the show. Okay. So with that in mind, I'd just like to say you're wrong on every counter this week.
If that's true, I will do the rest of the show in my own news. You don't have to. I'm willing to go to the dance floor. I just think the willing is fine.
It's fair enough. Okay. I don't need to look at your tighty whiteies. They're not tight.
You're baggy whiteies. You're baggy, stainies. Say, oh my, um, your shit riddled frags of puke. Shit riddled bag of puke.
Yeah, that's what it reminds me of. A dirty man nappy. This show's going down the fucking shit. Well, are you ready for the show?
Yeah. Come on. With all that said, go on and tell you. Ladies and gentlemen, bloody windows going off.
It is time for revamps and not at all what you'd expect. So, who's just for? Okay. So I'm DJing the other night, Paul.
Quite a large venue. The largest I do. Okay. So I'm there.
I'm DJing. This guy comes up to the booth. Yeah. So far gives me his card.
His card. Just hands me his card. Does it say meet me round the back? No.
It is an absurdly expensive business card. It's like that scene in American Psycho where they compare a card. A bit like that. It's PVC.
Okay. It's see through. With like, you know, plastic. The whole thing is complete plastic.
Like credit card size. Yeah. You'd have to pay quite a bit more on it. It's a quality business card.
Yeah. And it says Anthony Priory. Yeah. And then it says DJ's events, weddings, and it's got some kind of website.
Weddings are okay. And he says, you know, I booked DJ's in the US. You know. Yeah.
And then he comes back a few minutes later. No. It does not want to be that hard. No.
There is no him coming on to me. Okay. Me, Joshing him off. Oh, he's waiting to gobble me after the night.
It's good. I was just going to say it might be more romantic. It wasn't romantic. All right.
And then he says, can I come up? He was trying to chat to me sort of across the booth. Oh. No.
Just chat to me. Across the booth. Yeah. And he comes and he goes, oh, can I come in the booth?
Yeah. So I go, yeah, you can come. You can come in the booth. Yeah.
And he's just like, you're happy as Larry. He's got a kind of a shaved head. He looks like very American, you know. Okay.
Yeah. You like the guy from Storage Wars. Yeah. Okay.
Okay. Well, I think I from Storage Wars. Yeah. And Gary on.
So he comes in the booth and he's standing there for a minute. And then I'm sort of looking for my record box. Yeah. What's so funny?
It's a good story. Okay. And he says, he hands me a tenor. He goes, can I give you a tenor?
Shut up. Shut up. Oh, God. Take it easy, Paul.
I might be gay. Would that be funny? No. Some of my listenership might be gay.
Oh, we do. Well then. So why are you snickering? I'm not.
You snickering. You have a phone. I'm not. We're not.
This is a lovely show. Yeah. You're so dinnier crying. I'm crying.
Right. He hands me a tenor. He hands me a tenor. Can I play a song?
No, I didn't know which way this was going. But I know this song he asked for does sound funny in the context now. Because the song he asked for was, Glory again as I will survive. No shit, it was.
You're hopeful. Oh, he did the best. That was the dark floor in the world. He asked me to play Glory again.
And he paid you a tenor for the Prince. He gave me the tenor. And I sort of handed it back to him. Yeah.
I don't have that with me. And he said, I'll take the tenor anyway. I'll choose another song. Right.
Right. And then he goes, can I look through your records? Why is that fun? It's not a euphemism.
No, it's not at all. Can I rummage through your box with the euphemistic way of saying it? No, he wants to look through my records and I'm like, nah. Can I think of your total basis?
Yeah. Wow. I don't realise how to carry on film your DJ live on film. This is amazing.
I didn't want him to look at my records because that's just a bit invasive. It's one of those bug bears that, you know, there are other DJ's who mount Paul. They have websites and stuff. And so there's a Facebook group DJ request line.
People posting it usually on the weekends about their stupid records. Yeah. And so there are people are annoying. And one of the things annoying things people do, yeah, it's kind of a typical trope of it, is to say, oh, can I look?
They say, oh, can you play fucking Desperzillo? Yeah. And you say, no, I haven't got it. They go, what have you got?
Can I look for it? Yeah. I hate you. Yeah.
And I wish you would leave. Get out. Get out. Get out.
Get out. Anyway, so I said, no, you already handed me this tenor. It was a bit weird. He said no.
He said around. He said, no, he said, can you take some photos of me looking through your records? Yeah. Pretending.
Oh, no. No, I was sorry for it. He really, he was like cool for him. Oh, no.
But man. Thought you were cool. He did. That is odd.
And so I thought, yeah, I'll take some photos of you rummaging through my box. Yeah. And I did. He's pleased.
Yeah. He said email me. Oh. And will you?
No, because he's obviously something. He's a wedding events guy. You know, good money. It's terrible.
You know what? He says it. Yes. Because you have to play what you're asked to play.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, they say cart blanch though. If they say cart blanch, then I'll do them.
But no one's going to say cart blanch. Also the people who don't like each other. The family of the bride and groom. They don't are there.
So there's a lot of attention. Yeah. And there's a lot of ah, it's her day. So she might insist that you change the music if someone associated with her.
Or him. Yeah. Might assist. And they've got to kind of.
They have a sort of entitlement. Which is really annoying. Yeah. Yeah.
I can get fizzy carts, can you? That is so lame. It's your oldest joke. The blues thing is your oldest joke.
The blues reo. What is your oldest joke? Well, he's put the head through the floating ghost thing in improv. Oh, God.
That was really bad as well. Or when I did my robot voice. Hello, Eli. Did the man gobble your gobble off?
No. So there was one story of a DJ at wedding. And the guy was getting married, the groom. Yeah.
Accuse him with being a kitty fiddler. Out of the blue. The DJ. And then yeah.
Out of the blue. Because he's so fistic office. And then it turned into fistic office. Imagine a gig going that wrong.
Badly. Yeah. Very bad. Well, well, that's my chance.
Well, that's my chance. Well, well, well, well, well. True to my word, I will do the rest of this episode. In just my pants.
OK. Could we pretend that? Because it's audio. Because I don't want to see.
Because I don't want to see your grotty thong strap. You would be privileged to be inches away from my rotted sausage. I can't. Anyway, that's the tell me the dance floor.
Congratulations. One of my favorites. Good. Well, it's that time again.
It's time to do one of my new favorite segments of the show. Oh, yeah. What's that? Whoa.
It's the off-brand. Brand off. Little, little, little, little. Oh, off-brand, Brand off.
Brand off. Why you laughing? It's not going to be off. LAUGHTER We shouldn't do that jingles.
I like it. All right. Let's do it straight. I'm trying.
I thought I did it. It's pretty cool. I'll do the do a little lude. You don't want to be a part of it, don't you?
Yes. All right. OK. Is that too much to ask?
Oh, I'll just do something. Oh, fucking go. No, no. You just talk.
See what happens then, Paul? Yeah. Then it'll be the Paul Gannon and Eli Silverman's impression show where it's like, good evening, ladies. Yeah, I'm on my own.
I'm a fat loader. Ah, no. I'm a showering. I don't even say fuck my life.
I never say fuck my life. You just said it twice. No, no. But I'm, so you've said it.
And you've said it now. You ready? Yeah. A do do do do do do.
Off-brand brand off. Off-brand brand off. In a little, little, little brand off-brand. Off-brand brand off-brand.
Be like that. What were you going off-brand off-brand off-brand off? Today? I have called today's section.
Off-brand brand off, top of the pops. Oh, yeah. Because in the 80s, was at the 80s, they had the Co- Co-keepepse challenge. the Pepsi challenge.
It was the Pepsi challenge and that caused Coca-Cola to make one of the biggest or most famous corporate mistakes of all time. Yes, introducing new Coke. Yes, because Pepsi was winning all of the Pepsi challenges. I mean, it was obvious as well.
Well, here's the theory that when they did the taste, it wasn't that could you tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi, which was your favourite flavour, right? Yes. So they'd always picked Pepsi because Pepsi was sweeter and that first goal was refreshing in sweet and fizzy. However, when the fizzes went, it became sickly and horrible to drink.
So it's not a lot of people, but Coke kept its coir carbonation better and it's also not as sweet as it's a particular way. It has a different, as you would say, amplitude. Yes, but I also think they add some kind of acid to Coke that actually suppresses the sickliness of the sweet, maybe. It's got as much sugar in, doesn't it?
What's that? Drug thing in America, ultra, ultra, ultra. Oh, hang on. Okay, Google, search for MKUltra.
It was a CIA mind control program given to a program of experiments on human subjects, ex-time and legal design, including Agent Orange. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That kind of killed himself. Yes.
Yeah. It's one of the, it's one of those conspiracy theories that turned out to be true. Horribly true. Yeah.
Right. So, a joke being is that I was going to suggest that they put in Coke. No, there's some ingredient I've labored this point, so really, haven't it was boring. It's really, I'm sorry.
So I heard that they put some kind of additive into the Coke, which MKUltra, which dampens down. Yeah. Or fights the sickly sugariness. So with all that said, I guess what you're saying, it was based on one sip and after one sip, most people will go for Pepsi now because it's sweeter.
So it's great. They prefer Coke. They prefer Coke. They will more people drink Coke all the way and Pepsi gets wasted and then people go off the quicker.
So it won the advertising campaign and it did see a boot, but Pepsi was never anywhere near the popularity of sales. I don't know. I think even though it was a boot, I'm sorry, Coke or a lost some ground, I think, ultimately. But didn't it cause?
Didn't it cause? The fact that Coca-Cola was losing ground at that time, caused Coke to create new Coke because they overthought it and it tasted, I mean, I don't think we ever got new Coke in this country. Oh, no, it was well, right. Yeah.
All I know is I don't remember what it tasted like. So I, because it must have been when we were in our, I remember it. I remember visiting my uncle in the States. Yeah.
And it was a big deal there that they were just bringing out classic because they had to bring out classic Coke, which is actual Coke, which is what they call it. Now, if you look at the bottom, because it's collage or short, we'll do a Coca-Cola test today. Ah, Coke Coke again, two knockoff brands. Right.
So let's get the Coca-Cola out and I believe it's somewhere in here. Right. You got Lisa at a half bowl. It's only got a tin of this, but it's called classic.
It's still classic. People just don't see the classic though, though. But there's some twats who like bear and sting, bear conspiracy, or whatever Mandela affects. And they're like, ooh, we live in a universe where it's still new Coke.
Is it a different universe or is your memory, memory, memorably, or is your memory totally fallible like every other human who's ever lived? Do you know what I mean? No, it's not. Who's taking remember, remember details perfectly?
No one. No one. Completely fallow time. I was wearing the last time when you recorded the sound as always.
You tramp fucking wag to that little test. I'm fucking wearing those new shoes you got from Primark for two quid and just a bunch of Primark stuff. It is not these. Oh, no, these are jeans.
Are you jeans of Primark? And you are totally clad in Primark. Let me think. Yeah.
Yeah. Anyway, nothing wrong with that cheap show. Nothing wrong with that. So classic Coke.
That's one. That's the standard we're going to judge to our test now. I do like a Coke. Yeah, I have to say.
Yeah, it's the color of choice. It's nice. I mean, the man in the pan and the pops are over knockoff levers and there's always pan and the pops Coke can always taste fake. Oh, yeah.
Nasty. Tasted like, you know, when you had color flavored ice lollies. Yeah, it was like that. It had a sort of chemically sort of aftertaste, basically.
That's what Coke manages to avoid. Yeah. So it's got clean finish. It's got clean finish.
Yes. Chris Blaver, delicate, slightly watery. Not the syrupy as Pepsi as very syrupy. Yes.
I tend to avoid. Again, I think that's because they put a great deal of sort of a Serbian answer. I did bring a Pepsi with me, but we might not bother with it because for Pepsi. Yeah.
I mean, I have no real opinion for someone's not. What are the knockoff brands we're going to be tasting? The knockoff brands were going to be tasting starts here. I went to Aldi.
You see, I bet Aldi's is nice. I mean, I'm going to see, but judging by some of their other things, like the chut the arrow. Oh, yeah. They're good.
Yeah. They do their fucking research. So this is called Freeway Cola. And that's all colas.
It looks like a bottle of cola because it's red. And he wasn't just mispronouncing Freeway, everyone. It's not Freeway as in an orgy cola. It's Freeway as in a road.
Hey, the Freeway. Do you want to say Freeway is kind of an American word? Yeah. It's trying to say, oh, America.
Americana, isn't it? Freeway. And it's kind of... I think it's a good word.
It's not a good word. It's a good word. It's a good word. It's a good word.
It's a good word. It's a good word. It's a good word. It's a good word.
It's a good word. It's a good word. No, it doesn't usually. But I think they've gone as close with the bottle of the lime as they possibly could without getting the army of lawyers from Coca-Cola.
The iconic. Because the movies I say is that because other knockoff brands from Aldi are closer. Yeah. That's not very close.
It's red and sort of white, but they really haven't been able to. But that's got 5P. So, it's got 5P. Two litres.
No. Hang on. No, sorry. I spoke out of place.
That Freeway Cola from Aldi, I think it's 35P. For two litres. For that, yeah. That's just wrong.
Yeah. Nothing should be like that. And two croissants only came to 140. And the croissants.
Oh, right. So you're doing a maths thing, which you're shit at. You are so very mean today. All right.
I'm sorry. Here's a kiss. No. Put your trousers back on and I can see the ring.
Are you really? So, lumpy prawn. Is it leaky, leaky, winky. Okay.
Right. So, yeah. Famously the bottle of Coke, the stove pipe. Because it was based on now, even the dress, the stove pipe dress, which in terms was based on the stove pipe, the old American stove pipe.
That's what the design of the book. I never heard this call the stove pipe. So, as in a pipe that comes off the back of a stove, you see those American shows where they're all in the middle of the hall of metal, great, big oven thing with the pipe going out the top of it. And this flames on the front door and you open it and it's like, you know, yeah, I do.
I'm cognizant of both those words and what they're talking about. But I thought that the Coke bottle was based on Marilyn Monroe's figure or something. You know, it's kind of it's got a sort of hourglass. Okay, Google fucking Google Coca-Cola bottle design.
Look, if it means what you're the researcher, if we're going to talk about, oh, thank you bottle. Where the fuck is the history of Coca-Cola company on me? Coca-Cola dot com. You don't hear them talking about their history.
They lie. You know, they lie about the fact that they had cocaine in it, don't they? Well, that was my book. The episode of the dollar that talks all about the both of Coke and talks about the cocaine element, how it basically is.
They don't know what the company don't admit that they started off having co-op and that's ridiculous. Yeah, even though it completely did. Yes, because they used to guzzle it. Yeah, let's be racist.
We straight blaw blaw blaw, blah blah, blah blah, blah, blah blaw, blah blaw, blah blah blah better blaw, blah blah blah blah. This is great. That's a shit page. You shouldn't have gone to that page.
Come on.AVIC After three minutes. But, you're not saying anything. Oh. No, again, nothing.
Anything? I can't find the actual bit that actually says, well, I'm designed after. Well, where do we just leave it there? We'll leave it there.
We'll move on. This section's going on for the years. It is. Right, OK, right.
So you found out nothing. It's based on a fucking stovepipe. But Virgin Cola tried to do a similar thing, and they modeled their bottle over the shape of panel. I was going to say, well, we'll remember.
Thank you very much. Yes. What a waste of time. I know.
But I didn't think stovepipe tried to sexy barch like that. Maybe it was the design of the dress based on this design, because it was a stovepipe that was a woman's figure that looked like that had that kind of ball. Right. Balled in a curve, kind of thing.
Very famous. Good bit of design. I think so. Anyway, it's also you could hold it back.
It's got a bit of design. So what about the oldie one? Doesn't have that design? No, not any bit.
Similarly, you can see there's a little bit of console there to it. It's not like the third Coca-Cola. Which is even cheaper? Or, no, this was a 65p.
OK. And this is the, oh, god, I've shook it all up. This is the same for you, brand Cola. Now, my prediction is, even though that is more expensive, it's going to be worse than the free one.
I think this is going to be watery piss. Yeah. With an nasty taste. Yeah.
An nasty aftertaste. That is my prediction. Yeah. What we're going to do is this.
Right. I'm going to pour a bit of each of these into one of these three glasses, right? Yes. There'll be Coca-Cola in three glasses.
Yes. Not necessarily where I've put them out. There'll be Cola in three glasses. Yes.
There'll be Cola. Not Coca-Cola. Only one of the glasses will have had. There'll be three glasses.
There'll be Cola. Each on a different one of the three choices I've brought. Yes. Good.
Good. Well done. So far. You will be wearing a mask or some kind of eye closure treatment.
Good. Right. Yes. So you will be able to see with you what you're sipping.
Your challenge is should I choose to accept is to simply rank them from nice. So can't I do it? It's not going to guess which is which. You can get a bonus point if you can do that.
Well, I'll get a point for saying what a lot of fuck sake. I'm just going to go with rules. I'm just trying. I want you to get the pyramma.
I don't care. The rules. The game. We don't want to.
It's a game. And the game is I just rank them from your favorite to the least. I will do that. And if you want to name them, you can, but it has no effect on the outcome.