Ep. (58) The Remote Control Exercise – Live Walkthrough with Mel and Brien

What if watching someone else navigate their emotional pain in real time could show you the way through your own?In this special episode of Triggered & True, Laura Duncan and co-host Brian Freise do something they've never done on the podcast before: walk real listeners through the remote control exercise live. Two brave volunteers each agreed to be a "guinea pig" — bringing a genuine, tender trigger and letting Laura guide them through it in real time, so you can hear the entire process instead of just learning about it.First, Mel from Australia shares a trigger many will recognize: Her husband works long hours and is often called out, leaving her feeling alone with the home and personal responsibilities. Laura gently walks her from the surface reaction down to what's underneath — pausing the situation instead of blaming or justifying, moving past the "big" emotions to the tender ones (loneliness, feeling like she doesn't get his best), and tracing it back to a little girl who learned it wasn't safe to have a voice or big emotions, so she became "patient until she wasn't." Along the way: how over-patience and fawning are their own kind of trigger, and why secure attachment means being free to say "I need."Then a second volunteer — Brian, from Pennsylvania — shares a trigger lots of people can relate to:He brings a pervasive, ebbing sadness and the anger that rose at work that day. Laura helps him move past the anger "cloaking" it, through feeling out of control, and down to the loneliness underneath (the kind you can feel even around people). His session opens into one of the episode's most beautiful moments: reconnecting with his child self through a real childhood photo — the little boy who loved to play and laugh with his dad — and Laura's "magic-eye" image for why it takes patient, repeated looking before that younger self suddenly "pops" into focus. Two different people, two different wounds, one hopeful demonstration of the whole method in action.In this episode: 🔹 Real listeners, real triggers — the remote control exercise walked through live, twice 🔹 Mel's trigger: loneliness when a spouse works long hours, traced to a childhood without a voice 🔹 How "patient until you're not," over-patience, and fawning are triggers in disguise 🔹 Brian's trigger: anger at work "cloaking" a deeper, pervasive loneliness 🔹 Reconnecting with your child self through a photo — and the "magic-eye" patience it takes to see him📩 Get your free Weekly Dose of Compassion — two short notes in your inbox every week. One to speak over yourself. One from Laura: https://www.lauraduncan.com/pl/2148814868🔗 Learn more: https://triggeredandtrue.com https://lauraduncan.com