Ep. (59) The Remote-Control Exercise – Live Walkthrough with Myles and Lorilyn

What if the anxiety — or the shutdown — that's followed you for years isn't chasing you, but is a scared, lonely child trying to get your attention?In this episode of Triggered & True, Laura Duncan and co-host Brian Freise continue their live walkthroughs of the remote control exercise with two brave volunteers, and the pairing is illuminating — because Laura takes two very different people down two very different paths to the same place.First, Miles from Sweden brings a trigger that's shaped much of his life: Intense nighttime anxiety and panic attacks that have surfaced in months-long waves at ages 10, 18, and now 35, each time carrying the fear that "this is going to be my whole life." Rather than hunt for the cause, Laura treats the anxiety as a messenger, explaining why all his knowledge and formulas couldn't reach it — when anxiety hits, you're not in your adult brain, you're back in the amygdala, where "anxiety is a wild animal chasing you." She walks him back to his 10-year-old self, not to fix him but to know and be with him, and they find a boy who felt alone and unprotected. The comfort is simple but difficult: "adopt little Miles as a third child" and be with him the way Miles already is with his own two kids.Then Lori Lynn, joining from Hawaii, shares a trigger many will recognize: Her body shutting down around people of authority, or whenever she can't be heard. Laura maps it to freeze and fawn, and helps her actually feel the pain rather than manage it — then uses what Brian calls a "ninja skill," gently shifting which caregiver Lori Lynn brings in when the first one can't hold the moment, until compassion breaks it open. Her session lands on hope, and on one of the episode's most powerful truths: we can't change what happened to us, but we can infuse it with love — and while a wound may always hurt, it doesn't have to hurt the same, because who you are is bigger than anything that's happened to you.In this episode: 🔹 Two live walkthroughs, two unique paths to healing — Miles from Sweden and Lori Lynn from Hawaii 🔹 Miles: lifelong nighttime anxiety traced to a lonely, unprotected 10-year-old — and the "adopt him as a third child" comfort 🔹 Why knowledge and formulas can't reach a trigger: the adult "website" vs. the child "coding" 🔹 Lori Lynn: freezing and fawning around authority, and learning to feel the pain instead of managing it 🔹 "We can't change what happened, but we can infuse it with love" — why a wound can still hurt, but not the sameA gentle note: in one of these walkthroughs, a guest bravely touches on painful childhood experiences, including harm by someone who was meant to care for them. It's handled with real tenderness and hope, but if that's close to your own story, be gentle with yourself as you listen — and if you're struggling, please reach out to someone you trust.📩 Get your free Weekly Dose of Compassion — two short notes in your inbox every week. One to speak over yourself. One from Laura: https://www.lauraduncan.com/pl/2148814868🔗 Learn more: https://triggeredandtrue.com https://lauraduncan.com