[Ep 69] The Problem with "What Not to Say" Lists and What You Need to Know Instead

Hey, my friends. Welcome back to Let's Encourage One Another. Today, we are going to talk about one of the most common things we experience when we have a friend who is hurting. "I don't know what to say." It is a problem we all struggle with when someone we care about is hurting. We're afraid of being the one who messes it up. We don't want to be the person they remember as saying the off-handed comment at the funeral. We don't want to push our friend away because of some careless words that slipped out of our mouths. So when others create these lists about "say this, don't say that," we tend to cling to them like some sort of lifeline, memorizing the phrases so we can speak them the next time round. Now, these lists are designed to help us recognize that what we mean to be encouraging might actually be received as hurtful by the other person. It can help us see things from the other perspective, help us be more intentional with our words. But there are four problems I see with these lists, and I want to talk about them because there are some important truths that they are missing or don't take into consideration. Kari   QUOTES + BIBLE VERSES: "It matters less what you say than that you say something." (Nancy Guthrie, What Grieving People Wish You Knew) Romans 8:28 (NLT): "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." ______ >> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection >> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care and spiritual formation practices http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup