Thanks for tuning in to the Real Women Chronicles podcast. I am your international certified life coach, T. Audrey Taylor. The sole purpose of this podcast is to get you from where you are now to where you want to be.
Yes, it's time to break chains and to get unstuck. Thanks again for joining in. Let's begin. Hello, and thank you guys for joining me for yet again another Wednesday.
If you are joining in for the first time, this is the Real Women Chronicles podcast. I am your host certified life and relationship coach, T. Audrey Taylor. Listen guys, I want it to spend some time just a few minutes.
This week talking about love language. I really, truly think that if we could all kind of take heed of our personal love language and the love language of others, it can truly lead to some really, really, really successful relationships out there, not truly believe that. So the good Lord led me on the topic of love language this week. So I'm going to jump right in.
Now let me first say this. Typically it is said that there are five love languages. So let me run through the five love languages that are out there. You have number one words of affirmation.
So this love language basically expresses love through words, you know, towards another partner or they accept and they find that it's acceptable to them if they hear others giving, expressing their love verbally. Okay. Number two, you have the love language of service, which is that basically, actually speaking louder than words in a nutshell, basically you showing and expressing your love through the things that you do for a person. So that is number two.
Number three, love language is receiving gifts. And it's pretty simple with this one. I mean, some folks express their love language by buying gifts. I know my granddad was a fond gift giver for my mom and the other kids, my aunt's and uncle say he had, and he wasn't big on verbally expressing his love to them, but he would pretty much show them through gift giving.
Okay. So that is the third love language. The fourth love language is quality time. Okay.
That is when you enjoy, you know, showing your love by spending time with the person, no matter what you guys are doing, this is how you show your love for that person or vice versa. Number five is physical touch. You have some people that require physical touching in order to feel loved. I can, I would beg to say that I'm a little bit of a few of these.
I exhibit, well, let's just say I exhibit a few of these love languages. I definitely enjoy touch. I feel like, you know, love is physical. You like to, you know, express it in different ways.
So those are the five love languages. Again, I'm going to say it from the top words of affirmation, acts of service. Number three, receiving gifts. Number four, quality time.
Number five, physical touch. The reason why I want to go into somewhat of a teaching slash coaching session today is because one of the most important things in a relationship is understanding your partner's love language. So often we love people how we want to be love or we love others, how we were taught. We often will love others the way that we want to be loved instead of really considering how they want to be loved and cared for.
And I think that's, that's, that's a, a, a easy thing to do, right? Because we ultimately express the love that was given to us or exhibited to us. So quite naturally when we have this, this, this perception of our personal love language, we kind of push it on other people and, you know, not intentionally, but we, we have, many of us will have a habit of pushing our own personal love language onto other people. Expecting them to reciprocate that same exact type of love language when they're dealing with us or expecting them to be happy with the love, love language that we're giving them.
But see, we have to understand that everyone's perception of true love may not and does not necessarily mimic your perception. God made us all individuals. So it's quite natural for us to love in our own unique way. This is often something that is really disgusting when we talk about making relationships work.
I literally have gone through thousands of YouTube videos and read many books on relationships and I have to be honest, this is a rare topic that you hear folks talk about. I'm not saying it's never discussed. I'm just saying it's often rare. Part of that is because we have, you know, romantic movies and we, you know, have the society's view of what a loving relationship should look like, you know, or we attempt to mimic or recreate the chemistry that we see in somebody else's relationship.
And see, whenever we're looking at society's viewpoint on love and relationships and how it should look, it really ties our hands from really accepting the love language and the unique love language of someone else because we get fixated in this box of how it should look and how it should feel. Listen, even our lack of love contributes to our love language. What I mean by that is there are people who did not necessarily receive a lot of affection and a lot of that gift giving and affirmations when they were growing up. So they never felt that love.
Therefore they don't know how to probably give it. So even the lack of love and the absence of love when we're most of the time when we're growing up and we're being, you know, you're being reared contributes to how you love others. There are many people out there that choose to verbalize their love instead of buying gifts and things like that. There are people that, like I said, like at the beginning, like my grandfather who prefers the gift gifts and it's uncomfortable for them to verbalize how they feel.
The point is that there is has never been a one track way to love, which is why in any relationship we enter, we must understand that it's important to take time to understand your partner's love language and vice versa. They should take the time to understand yours, loving a person how they want to be loved by understanding their love language is very valuable to a healthy relationship. And I think this is why we have so many relationships. One of the reasons that ultimately fail because this is something that's just not taught the uniqueness and how each and every one of us love just like in our personalities.
I must say though, there's a catch to this. Okay. It is your job going into relationships to understand your partner's love language. It's their job to understand yours.
However, you have to understand that some people love you on the basis of how they know how. Okay. Some people were taught that love involved how much pain you can endure or even inflict on other people. And that's why I say there's a catch because whenever we're talking about love language, we have to evaluate how this person was taught to love.
Relationships will often fail because we tried to change the love language of another person to suit us. We attempt to love them into changing them instead of really evaluating the love that they already have to give and seeing if that love is suitable for you. Some people are truly loving you the best that they know how. And this is exactly what should often free you from being upset at that person who hurt you.
It should free you from being upset from that person who disappointed you. It may not be that they didn't love you. Although we all I'm sure we can all agree that love is the action word. Okay.
It could potentially be that they were loving you the best way that they knew how the best way they were taught. And although it's not the type of love of love language that you speak, it's the love language that they exhibit. And this is why it's important to not look for people who mimic your exact love language. You know, we're here to learn from each other, right?
We're here to, you know, give and take when it comes and learn from one another. You experience love in many different ways, right? We're made out of love. We're made to feel these feelings.
But you do want to make sure that you intertwine with individuals and people who love similar to how you do or exhibit a loved language that you admire and you like. It doesn't have to look like yours. Let's say you're not the gift giver. You're not the person that says I love you 10 times a day.
You're maybe meeting someone who does that will bring that out of you. And that's why it's important early on in your relationship, early on when you're dating someone is to identify how they love and how they want to be loved. Because if you're able to identify that early, then you have the best viewpoint on whether or not you can give them the love that they're looking for. Some people require so much affirmation in a relationship that it's almost unbearable because that's the language they speak.
And when you really examine what makes a person, what makes that meet feel loved. You can make a very conscious decision on whether or not you guys are vibing on the same wavelength. It is up to you to determine if you speak the same love language or whether you're speaking Chinese and they're over there speaking German. That is up to you to figure out and you don't want to wait until it's too late to figure out that this person and yourself have been speaking totally different love languages.
And no one's bending, no one's compromising and furthermore, no one's vibing. There's the you guys are just clashing because which you require out of this person, they may not even be able to give. You determine what your partner's love language is. Remember that.
And you figure out if they are speaking in a way that you not only understand but in a way that you can relate to. Okay? Listen, y'all, I thank you guys for being super patient with me last week. I did not get a podcast and I was actually on vacation last week, but I am back and ready.
So thank you guys for staying tuned in week after week. As always as close out and pray our Father God, we just thank you for allowing us to come together another week. Father God, thank you for keeping us healthy during this time of COVID-19. Thank you for keeping us all strong.
Father God, we pray for positivity. We pray for healing. Father God and those of those out there that are listening to this podcast that are needed healing Father God, we pray for healthy love to come into their lives. Father God, we pray for wholeness and self esteem to come into the lives of those who need it.
Father God, we thank you for everything that you're doing right now as we speak, Father. We praise you. We glorify your holy name and the name of Jesus Christ. We pray.
Amen. Listen, if you are in need of coaching, if you have any questions for me, if you have any comments, be sure to subscribe to the podcast, leave me a comment, shoot me an email. My email is TNT. GrowveProject at gmail.com again.
That's the letters TNT. GrowveProject at gmail.com. Okay. Until next week, y'all, I love you guys.
Have a great one.