Inspiration now in session inspire guys people Alright, I'm ready Now you know exactly what I mean, but this stays off the record. Let's talk off the record. This is off the record Let's get off the record. Yeah, what's up people?
I am your host Jay Will and I would like to welcome you to inspire guys people off the record I'm a loyalty customer. That means that I like to spend my money at the same places again and again I'm one of those people that like to go to a place and I like to know the workers that's there I like them to know me not necessarily by name just by face We don't even have to really talk about it. You know what I'm saying? But when I walk into the place nine times out of ten, you already know what I want to order and I'm comfortable You know what I'm saying?
That's a good vibe for me. I like it You know what I don't like I don't like paying for things that I have to work for It's kind of like a lot of these grocery or department stores You don't want to have enough people at work. You know what I mean? You got cashiers and no baggers or you got one guy or gal running up and down back and forth All down the highway trying to be the bagger for multiple cashiers I don't like this because it gets awkward because now this cashier is scanning my items that I paid for Listen, I like to work hard.
I like to be helpful and a kind person But when I'm spending my hard earned money, I like to be waiting on I apologize if that's wrong If you don't understand where I'm coming from, but I don't want to pay you to work I probably just got off work anyway So now you're standing my items and I'm having thoughts in my hair like I wonder if my man gonna be done bagging down there So he can get down here and bag my stuff So I don't have to do it And now you're standing and the stuff is just kind of piling up And I'm like slowly but surely walking down to the end to start bagging the milk and the juice and the eggs And I'm like I'm at work right now I don't like that type of stuff. You know what else I don't like? I don't like putting stuff together If I come into your little store and I buy a desk for instance Oh, I need the desk from the display I don't want to buy the joint that sent that come in the box and they got 150 pieces to it Now I got to get home and go to work I don't want to have to work when I spend money I don't want to be at home spending two hours putting together a desk that you said on the box take 45 minutes to put together Now I'm embarrassed my wife walking past the room and she looking like oh so the desk ain't done yet So you got two legs on there and it's been an hour and 15 minutes And I'm looking like you know making excuses like yeah they didn't lift out um a couple of the tools Like you just flipping it, you know you flipping the box Look at the papers, you know you you just hold on they ain't got to For this this manual ain't put everything in here No, I'm embarrassed. Do you feel what I'm saying?
Please don't hit me with the it's not delivery. It's disjourno Well, wait a minute disjourno Do I have to take this out of a box the internal and oven preheated? I gotta cook it disjourno. Uh-uh I want the delivery.
It's not disjourno. It's delivery for me because when the delivery comes to the door, it's done I pay for it. Oh, here you go Yeah, how you doing sir? How you doing that?
Here's your tip. Okay. He says ready to eat You feel what I'm saying? I don't want to go through all that with a disjourno.
Okay, I got one more thing to say And I'm gonna leave this alone. This one really frustrates me. This is when you go to a car wash And then they charge you extra to towel dry your car. I'm like, oh, wait a minute I thought that the the the dry, you know like to get it dry I thought that came with the wash some stuff supposed to come together.
You know what I'm saying? I didn't know that I was gonna pay you to wet my car And then you like all right. Yeah, if you want me to dry that off That's gonna be another dollar And now I'm perplexed and confused because I wasn't expecting to have to do nothing else Because I thought it was already paid for you know what I'm saying? I paid on the front end before I came into the car wash and you still selling me stuff when I get out And that's hard for us to deal with sometimes in life because of unrealistic expectations You know what all those scenarios remind me of when I think about them is that I go into these situations Visualizing the perfect scenario.
I'm picturing a trip to the grocery store and in my mind and my expectation It's like oh, I'm gonna go there. I'm gonna pay for things. They're gonna have a cashier They're gonna have someone to bag it and it's all gonna go just so glorious And then I get there in reality and there's a lazy cashier and an overwork bagger And I know what you're thinking right now. You're wondering how is he gonna tie this into anything meaningful?
I'm gonna show you how because in this life that we're living as christians We come into Christianity and a relationship with christ with unrealistic expectations And sometimes that's at the fault of the church itself because church is a controlled environment We go to church. Oh, we know how to worship when there's a band and there's a microphone in the stage and a praise leader Oh, we worship you god. Oh, we worship you king And we got it all figured out when there's ushers and when there's a order of service We know how to serve god That's a controlled environment and we expect life sometimes to be this controlled environment because we have unrealistic expectations And you know what happens? We get out there in the real world and it's not a controlled environment and it's chaotic and there's no praise and worship leader When my boss is getting on my nerves that work not my boss You're cool with me, bro If you happen to hear this, you know what i'm saying just want to clear that up I like having a job but real life doesn't always look like we expected it to look and we're thinking like hey Jesus paid it all, buddy Um, why does my faith still need a job?
You know what i'm saying? What what you mean faith without works is dead I thought if Jesus paid it all on the front end then I should be able to walk in this thing And just get my car washed and get it dried off and i'm just going home feeling good about myself buddy And nope you coming to this walk with christ and it's like oh, yeah, Jesus paid it all And he did but then you find out there's more to it and I believe we're losing people From the faith people are leaving the church because we're setting unrealistic expectations And because we're teaching people only how to be christians in a controlled environment And then they get out into the real world where there are real problems and real issues and they like wait a minute Um, where the ushers at is like oh no, bro, I know ushers at the job, but what what you mean? I only know how to hold on can somebody set the atmosphere? Um, so I can live for god, please.
Oh, there is no atmosphere at this job my man You can't bring no live man up into the office You know what i'm saying? And so my point at the end of all of this is that we have to realize what this walk is really about And we have to be real with ourselves and be real with other people and not make each other feel bad for just being honest or being real Y'all know what time it is What in the world is up with tip services y'all listen? I want you to understand something I'm a 20 tiper So I don't want you to think that what i'm about to say means that i'm cheap or that i'm selfish and anything like that I gotta be honest though. Sometimes tip services are a little confusing You feel what i'm saying?
So please don't judge me as I tell you a story about a trip that my wife and I took back in 2007 Now you have to understand that at the time my wife and I didn't have a lot of money man You know it was a situation where we pretty much could only afford the price on the menu You know what i'm saying? It's one thing not the tip because you were mean or you're selfish But you got to understand some people can't tip because they don't have it I can't give you extra if I don't even have something I think that we should know up front there should be some rules and some guidelines to like oh Yeah, if this happens like you're gonna have to leave a tip So even though the price right here says nine dollars, you're gonna be out of 14 dollars by the time this is done You get what i'm saying? I just don't think that's right So let me tell you what happened to us back in 2007 We were taking a trip to Las Vegas and we were a young couple You know what i'm saying? Pretty much probably taking our rent money on this trip don't judge me and please don't follow my lead on that one Okay, again, this is the old me So we going this is our first time taking a plane together as a married couple And really had only taken a flight You know a couple of times in our lives even with our parents up to that point in life So we walking to airport the troy metro I'm like, yo, we come in and it was an early flight So it's like maybe five o'clock in the morning that we're walking in and this guy catches us coming in the door And he's like yo like let me grab that for y'all now this guy works here He has on a little shirt with the logo that's saying he works here So in my mind, it's like oh you at work, bro like cool.
You're just super nice again This is my first time flying by myself without my parents in the times that I flew in the past I had never seen anything like this happen. So I'm like, man This is like really nice like the airport is really upgrading their service So this guy grabs our bag put him on a little cart. He's pushing him for us I'm like, man. We gotta carry our bags in here.
Detroit is coming up, man This is dope like I can't believe the city is doing it like this We get upstairs and this guy's like oh y'all don't have to wait in that long line Like this, you know, we taking y'all right to the front. This a VIP service I'm like what man? I'm like we don't have to wait in the line and check in like you got on stuff like bam He like yeah, I'll push that in for you me and my wife at this point are on cloud nine We looking at each other like wow, this is about to be a good trip You know what I'm saying like god is good. God is good.
Good. Good You know what I'm saying? So of course he does all that he gets us up, you know to the end of the road Or wherever we going we got our boarding pass We got everything we need and then he's looking at it's like he takes the luggage off of the cart Hand it to me and I'm like, hey, man. Thank you, brother.
You a cool guy, man Like, you know, I appreciate you boy. I appreciate you He looked at me like hey, yo, bro. Um, yeah, so what's up on the tip? I was like tip I'm like oh that cost I don't have a problem that the situation costs extra money My problem is that you just came grab my bags and start doing work and nobody gave me the heads up Like you didn't hit me with a little flyer that had you know the price list on there like okay Yeah, if I do what I'm about to do that's gonna be like $20 It's just like you just did work that I don't even know how to put value on I don't even know how much that should cost like I have no idea you didn't give me an understanding So even if back then even though I wasn't because I couldn't afford to be even if I was a 20% zipper back then I don't know what I'm tipping because there was no price list So my man look at me.
I look at him I'm like look, bro, I'm about to take this trip to Vegas for three days with my wife and I got $400 Um, I don't know what you really expect But uh, I think I gave him five bucks or maybe $10 or something like that And I was like yeah, you gonna have to take this and enjoy yourself my man Um, but uh, I don't have no more money I'm barely about to make it and when I tell you this guy was heated. He was filming. He was mad I forgot what he said but y'all gotta understand Sometimes it just is what it is. I looked at him like a bra You could be mad but I'm about to go out here and barely be able to eat food and do anything extra while I'm out here And please believe me when I tell y'all I think we made it back with $6 or $9 Like we were down to the last day It was like, are you want to eat breakfast or you want to be able to get something at the airport to eat That's how rough it was when we were budgeting out that trip and please believe me It's a lot of stuff we didn't do when we were in Vegas It was kind of like hey, you want to go to this museum or you want to ride on this little boat ride for $50 Like everything we did it was kind of an option like you want to do this or this it was no ends It was just or like are you gonna do this or you're gonna do it?
Not know it. Oh, I want point my wife was trying to do this and this and I was like, hey, look says That cost $96 we have 76 left. So you're gonna have to do a or not an end So my whole thing is this I don't mind you charging me a tip. I understand it I just think tip services need to be a little more upfront with what they're doing with the expectations are like I need rules and guidelines to what's going on But by all means don't try to give me into giving the tip and don't try to just start doing stuff And expect me to know that I have to give you a tip because you have on the work uniform Look, I don't know man.
If you work here think about it We don't just go places giving random people tips when they work there and they're doing their job and they make a salary or Some type of wages is like I'm just thinking that your job Is paying you out of all the money that I'm paying for whatever service or product that I just got So look I love y'all. I'm gonna keep tipping. I want you to keep tipping But I need y'all to have a little more clarity around it, please Today's show is brought to you by jwillmusic.com This is basically my online business card. If you want to find my youtube page, it's one there You want to listen to my music?
It's one there. You want to find my instagram page It's one there. Whenever you want to find out about me jwill and this show inspire guys people You can visit jwillmusic.com If you love this show and you want to be able to go back to past episodes and hear them Guess what? Right on the homepage at jwillmusic.com You can hit play and listen to this show And if you really want to dig deeper into the show then you can actually go to the top drop down box and go to podcast jwillmusic.com I try to keep it plain.
Try to keep it simple Not too much information, but just enough for you to find out everything you want to know about myself and inspire guys people So go ahead. What you waiting on? Go visit that to that jwilmusic.com But you know how to spell Alright, what I want to do now is kick it with y'all a little bit about unrealistic expectations So I don't know it may have been three or four years ago and I had this thought in my head I don't even really remember what sparked it, but the thought was just about how unrealistic expectations really mess us up in life It was just something that I started observing in my life and the people around me. You know what I'm saying?
Here's where I saw unrealistic expectations really mess me up the most It was when I compared myself to other people. Okay, so first let me say Expectations are a good thing. High expectations are a good thing So here's the difference I noticed between a realistic expectation and an unrealistic expectation Realistic expectations are obtainable goals. You feel what I'm saying?
It's something that can actually happen Here's where it gets tricky. Sometimes we want to set high goals so we can make sure we stretch ourselves But even in doing that those high goals are still realistic They're possible what I noticed about unrealistic expectations is that there are things that literally can't happen Where they're just too far out of your control to even be able to influence them to happen Alright, I want to make it clear So let me give you all a real life example of an unrealistic expectation that I had In high school when I was growing up in the late 90s It was all about waves for the boys in our head You know what I'm saying? Like we stayed with a brush and a do-rag and some wave grease Those were the three tools that you had handy at all times because you wanted your waves to be banking And so when waves first started becoming the thing I remember the first time I saw one of my homeboys with let's call it good hair Okay, some of my friends were all of different Nixtures of ethnicities, you know what I mean in different textures of hair And there's a certain type of hair that we typically call quote unquote good hair And so I had a couple of homeboys where when we all started getting waves I remember looking and my man got four waves in his head like four giant tidal waves in his head And I'm like yo, I want four waves And y'all gotta understand I'm young in my mind and this might have even been middle school to be honest Not I'm thinking about it, but in my mind, it's like yo, how come I got 162 waves little bitty waves in my head And my man got four waves So I'm thinking I'm looking at his brush I'm like well, maybe my man got the different bristles on his butt Maybe his brush bristles are spaced out for the waves or whatever And I can remember just going through the start process of comparing myself and thinking like all right You know what? I got a brush like a hunting most strokes a day to try to get the big boys And y'all y'all gonna think I'm crazy, but for a minute I was literally trying to get big waves Unrealistic expectations.
I was expecting to do something based on something I seen in someone else's life But I didn't have the qualities or the attributes to even be able to obtain it It was an unrealistic expectation It made no sense and a lot of times throughout my life when I think about the times where my expectations were unrealistic One of the number one areas is when I compare myself to other people And so I've learned to be sober minded and I've grown out of that and more so focused now on becoming who God created me to be Individually finding out what God's plan and purpose was for our individual lives is the pursuit of purpose Not looking at someone else's instagram page And desiring that and setting that as our expectation for love or marriage or our career Because everything looks perfect when it's in a picture You get what I'm saying? Like they say a picture is worth a thousand words Okay, cool And it's leaving a whole bunch of words out every picture leaves out a thousand other words You feel what I'm saying? Like it's a whole bunch that the picture ain't telling you when they see the happy couple smiling and all that It's not telling you oh, yeah But they was just arguing earlier about the temperature in the house or yeah He got mad because he asked her what she wanted to eat today And she is like I don't know what you want He like I don't know because I mean that's why I was asking you and she like well I'll take whatever you get and he like well I was asking you because I know what I want to do That's reality So a realistic expectation maybe to have a long lasting God fearing marriage full of purpose full of possibilities Family love all of those things right but in reality that process to go through that is not necessarily going to look like something out of a magazine Every single day look you might have some magazine moments I don't think it's bad to have the expectation where the standard that hey We don't have some magazine moments in our life But to think that that is going to be the complete marriage Y'all gonna be married for 60 years to death do you part and every day is just gonna be I woke up today and my king Did this and I woke up today and my queen did that she made my plate every day for 50 years Up but it ain't tell you the one time she didn't make you play you got mad player because that's marriage and What's the point of all this? I'm not trying to set you up to say hey lower your standards No, that's not to go at all or accept anything in your life or stop You know thinking that you're gonna be great or you're gonna be you know have these things But people have itching ears and people flock to things and people that tell them what they want to hear But what I've learned is that that that's just not reality in reality there are ups and downs There are struggles, you know good days and bad days and we have to learn to live with both It is unrealistic to think you're gonna live to be 95 years old and have 100 good days You feel what I'm saying?
So let me leave y'all with this I was studying psychology which I do often I love psych and I came across these three examples of unrealistic expectations by selenas c snow phd She's also a clinical psychologist. Here's the first one she said everyone must like me man Selena says the reality is that we can't make everyone like us no matter how hard we try now We all know that and that's why that's an unrealistic expectation because it's impossible to happen out of your control number two The world should be fair man This is something that low-key I believe has crept up on our generation And this is a reason that people have left the christian faith or our atheists to start off with because they feel if there's a god How could god let this happen? Why because they have the unrealistic expectation that the world should be fair But they only feel this way when talking about certain things. It's kind of complex.
So we'll leave that alone number three My golden years were supposed to be just golden. So this is the idea that hey when I'm 65 or 70 I'm gonna be retired and I'm gonna be sitting back on the beach somewhere in Florida and blah blah blah blah And then you hit that age and guess what reality doesn't look like that unrealistic expectation and it becomes hard for you to deal with I compare this to the same thing we did as kids. It's funny how life comes full circle as kids We sit around in elementary school and say I'm gonna be an NBA player. I'm gonna be this I'm gonna be a doctor lawyer and of course many of you may actually be those things congratulations But for those of us who don't we have to learn to live in the reality of the path of our life to join Guys people.
Thank you so much for listening today. Remember you can visit me any day at jwillmusic.com You can also hear this show on youtube by typing in j w i l m u s i c And share this show with your friends family and co-workers and tell them like I tell you if you don't like this show Just act like you like all spy guys people jwillmusic.com