Ep 80. The Birth Experience We Don't Talk About: A Father's Perspective on Birth Trauma with Tiago Kunzendorff

Preparing for motherhood is more than about knowing what to expect.Rewire for Birth helps you prepare your mind, body, nervous system, and intuition so you can move through pregnancy, birth, and motherhood with greater trust, confidence, and connection to yourself.Rewire your mind. Reclaim your birth.Learn more here: ⁠⁠Rewire for BirthWhat happens to the birth partner when birth doesn't go as planned?In this powerful conversation, we sit down with Tiago Kunzendorff, a father of three, to explore an often-overlooked part of the birth experience: what happens to the father or birth partner when they witness a traumatic birth.Tiago shares the story of his first child's birth in 2004, which quickly became an emergency C-section.He describes feeling completely powerless, disconnected, and unsure of what he was supposed to do while watching his wife go through an intense medical emergency.For years, he told the story as an incredible and somewhat shocking birth story—but he hadn't fully explored how the experience affected him.This conversation opens the door to a different question:What happens to the father when he witnesses birth trauma?Tiago shares what it felt like to be treated as a supporting character, to feel like he was in the way, and to suddenly find himself standing in an operating room surrounded by doctors, blood, medical equipment, and uncertainty.He also shares the emotional aftermath of his second child's birth, when his son experienced complications and spent time in the NICU.Through these experiences, Tiago began to understand how much birth can imprint not only the mother, but the entire family.In this episode, we explore:The often-overlooked experience of fathers during birthWhy birth partners can experience feelings of helplessness and powerlessnessWhy traditional prenatal education may not prepare birth partners for the reality of birthTiago’s experience witnessing an emergency C-sectionThe emotional impact of watching someone you love experience a medical emergencyThe difference between witnessing an experience and experiencing its emotional impactThe importance of including fathers and birth partners in birth preparationThe emotional aftermath of an emergency birthTiago’s experience when his son required NICU careThe isolation fathers can experience while trying to stay strongThe importance of talking about difficult birth experiencesWhy families benefit when both parents are educated and supportedHow partners can become more involved in the birth experienceThe importance of discussing what kind of birth experience you want to shareWhy helplessness doesn't have to be the default experience for birth partnersPreparing not only for birth, but for the unexpectedOne of the most important messages from this conversation is that birth affects more than the person giving birth.The mother deserves support, education, safety, and empowerment.And the father or birth partner deserves preparation, education, inclusion, and support too.Because when the whole family is prepared and supported, everyone has more opportunity to participate in the experience rather than simply react to it.Your birth matters.Your partner’s experience matters.And the way you enter parenthood together matters.Rewire your mind. Reclaim your birth.Learn more: https://www.rewireforbirth.comCONNECT WITH TIAGO KUNZENDORFFInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/kunzendorff/CONNECT WITH CINDYWebsite: Cindy Tahhan Official WebsiteInstagram: Dr. Cindy Tahhan Instagram Rewire for Birth: Rewire for Birth Instagram