Hello, hello. It's still hot in the city, isn't it? It's hot in the city tonight! No, it's not what we're doing.
It's a night! Who sings that? I don't care. You do care?
Who sings that song? In the city! Hot in the city tonight! I don't know.
It's a night. I'm going to keep on singing it and see you guess. Hot in the city! Hot in the city tonight!
Tonight! Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do! I'm just making noises. I know.
Good. You know who's sitting there? You're looking on the internet. look on the internet.
It's like I just tell you. Oh you know it. Yeah. Well who swings it?
Not telling you. Hot in the city tonight. I'm on the beat. You certainly are.
Oh, good good good. Goo sang. Hot in the city. You don't know it.
I do. There's initials I'll be. I. Really idle.
Yeah. So I did know, didn't I? You dirty little geissecker. No please don't do that.
I'll bring me characters out. Can we just start? Can we just stop now? All right.
Last episode was fun so let's not have any fun in this one. Let's have no fun in this episode. Can we just start? Can we just chill?
Hey. How are you? I'm a capo. Because I get to start the episode.
That whole bit was really bad. I think you got it. Cool dude. Oh, come on.
Do you intro? Cool dude. I'm chill. Hello ladies and gentlemen.
Hey, Eli Silverman here and yeah I'm in Cambridge for another episode of the podcast. You love to listen to when it's podcast to you. It's cheap show. Hey you and your fucking mooder.
Pussy. It's the wacky cheap show podcast economy podcast for your ears and it's going right out to you right now coming at you coming at you like Cleopatra is what we know as Mr. Grumblepants Paul Gannon. Hello.
It's cheap show. How are you pants Paul? I'm cool dude. Are they Grumbleumble?
Do they Grumbleumble? I will be like this. Grumble Grumble Panto. Yeah.
Yeah. My pants are a little bit soggy. Grumble Grumble Apple? I'll tell you what mate.
Yeah. I'll tell you what. What about my pants? I don't want to know about the smell.
Yeah. What about it? Like a batonail. Like a rotten toenail.
As long as like a rotten toenail down there. Have you gouged it? I scraped it the other day and so make your toenails. It's your film with something.
Eat your pantos. Got the grumbles. Eat the pantos. Go look at the pantos with the grumble ones.
Can't take this anymore. Can't take it. It's really hot. It's really hot.
You've taken more clothes off. I'm in my vest. You know what? I feel the need, the need for tweet.
Yeah, but I can see it's your fucking arm here and you're better. No raise your arms. Oh, it's red. I know.
Welcome to the Coney Coney podcast. Let's talk about the findings. The findings. Let's talk about the findings.
Should we just make? No, it's always this. Does it come to that? Blah blah blah blah.
Pest with the findings. Blah blah blah blah. It's going to be a tough show, ladies. Let's be honest with you.
It's been a fucking tough list and so far for them. It's been a bit rambling to a bit of a judge. We should actually. This intro.
We would certainly on behalf of Chief Show Inc like to apologize for our slapdash and not very funny intro. Apple, I would just like to add to that. Sorry everyone. I just want to say sorry for Paul.
I think he needs to say sorry more because he is more consistently. Shit. No, it's sad. He accepts this.
He edits this. He edits this. So it's his decision really to leave all that gunf and tawl up matter in at the start. I did a perfectly good little improvisation about gravel marble pencils.
I did. I did. You said grumble rumbles over and over. It was better what you would do.
I don't know. You say what? I'm going to see. I've had enough of this.
I've had enough. What's having up on the show today Paul? Cheap Eats. A vinyl special and then we're going to play another board game.
We're not going to play another board game. Yeah, we are. Oh god, are we? What ball game?
It's called screw balls. Screw balls. A question of screw balls. This was actually quite popular, wasn't it?
Got a 50p in the chat shop. Basically it's a jumped up version of Would You Rather. In it. That's what we're playing.
Oh, in it. Yeah. So that'll be a full tip. I'm going to be a lot of fun.
Okay. So we're not doing fun. This is so fun. Completely on points.
This is not been fun. It has been fun for me. Eli's just having some of this shit coffee that you bought in the tin. It's not coffee.
What is this? It's root beer and it's bloody lovely. You don't love it. No, you bought this shit root beer, didn't you?
No, this is now. This is comparing contrast. That's for real. That says that's not root beer.
No, it's root beer though. What's the difference? That's just what they call it. What's the difference between root beer and sasparilla?
They're very slightly different. But this is root beer. Now, listen to that. Oh, that's nice.
Give my earphones. I think that's really fucking nice. So, Fizzy, give that a sip and tell me it's all right. Tell me that.
That's much nicer. This is like the world leading bread. That's got sweetness. It's medicine.
But I like it. But it keeps its fizz, doesn't it? Which is important. Not like the other one, which is like fizz.
What? No, I don't do that. It doesn't have the bottle. Nah, man.
I don't fizz. That's not what I do. I'm not a fizzy chap. It's just a terrible one.
It was a terrible knockoff British. Well, I'm continuing to drink these slopes aye or wits. It's not great. I mean, it's not off to it.
It's not off to it's not off cup of tea. No. But it's hot and I need to make all this cold. Can we get on with the show?
I mean, right, this is pure wiffle. Is it? Yeah. Look at me like that.
Like you haven't fucked it up. You fucked it. Yeah. Yeah.
Right. It's hot to me. I know it's hot. I'm beginning to feel the heat.
I'm beginning to feel like I haven't had a wank. This is what I look at two weeks. I didn't need to hear. I've not been in the mood.
The heat's completely completely killed. My children are doing that. Yeah. Well, I'm glad to hear.
I'm glad to hear. I was going to have a wank the other day. I fell asleep. That's a bite.
Well, that's a look forward to that for the rest of your life. No. Yes. Why?
Imagine 20 years time comes down to talk about a cup of tea or it's pulled, pulled, pulled. I've only covered two. Who's having this discussion? You are.
You have it with yourself. I love it. I've always done something against them. Because that's what you've got.
Yeah. I'll make a phone call. Yeah. Do it.
I want it done. I want it done. I want it done. Thank you.
All right. All right. I'll have a wank. That's the rest of your life.
Sounds fun. Sounds like I've got power. Well, I want him dead. I want him dead.
I want his family dead. I want his kids dead. I want his kids dead. I want his kids dead.
I want his kids dead. I want everything. What are you adding to this? I want a dog dead.
You want a duck dead? I want a duck dead. How are you going to duck a day? How are you going to dick a day?
I want you to duck. Will you dick the dead duck? I will put that duck. Will you fuck a duck when he's dead?
I'll put that duck. Will you dick it in a box? Will you dick it in a box? Will you wilt the box out of glory hole?
Will you dick the duck? Well, why want to dick a duck? I don't want to dick a duck. I just want to dick the duck dead.
Then you dick the duck through the glory hole in the box. I'm dick in a dead duck. You're the worst episode you fucking ever do. You always say that.
This is it. This is it. What do you refuse to to start the episode? Let's start it now then.
All right then. Mmm. Cheep. Cheep.
Cheep. Cheep. Cheep. Cheep.
Cheep. Cheep. Cheep. Cheep.
Cheep. Cheep. Cheep. Cheep.
Cheep. Ooh. We're out of ideas, folks. We're out of folks.
We're out of it. We might not reach a problem. You were out of words for your math decision. We might not hit 100.
We might without things to do. How many apps are we off? Well, 12, 15. I don't know.
I'm 15, so get there Paul. Yeah. Yeah. Be getting to wonder.
We're getting to have genuine concern. All right. But we've got to do cheap. We're not always though.
So they're doing cheap cheap. Keep it together. Paul, it's a very special episode of Cheap Eats here because my sister Jenny and her good friend Emma, who's also married to my brother, Isaac, in America, has said to me that special care. You don't care.
No. Say that. I don't care about your family. Thank you.
Eli. You did when I fucked your mum. Oh, that didn't work. No, didn't.
Good. I apologize, Mrs. Ganon. Sorry, she stopped listening a long time ago.
Mad about Episoc 69 funnily enough. They have sent me a care package from the United States of America, excellent. Now, it's like a companion piece to Alison. Let's see what else, Because they're down in Florida and Allison's out there in there.
She's on tour. Oh, she's on tour. Did you send the package from? Yeah, from on tour.
Yeah, so she's on the road. Let's see what they've come up with and I can't open this yet. It's exciting He's going over now to his little care package. He's bringing it over.
Oh, it's all still wrapped. It's literally still wrapped. Do you have anything to open that with? No.
What the fucking do that? He's gonna open it with. Am I absolutely? Well, I know.
You call this in half? Show some respect. I definitely will show some respect for that. Wow.
This is on priority mail and you can see look. It's not just me that they've addressed it. I know. Look at this.
You read what they've addressed it to. Eli Silverman and Paul Ganon at the House of Pickles. They sent it to the House of Pickles. Thank you very much.
Thank you very much. That's a very very beautiful gesture. Now, depending on how much he's in here, we might just we might split it into time. We're gonna unpack this live now.
It's like an unboxing video, but without the filming bit and the level of interest involved in the excitement of seeing as it goes. That's how the mic works. You've got to put it in the other direction and slice it. He's slicing.
Don't want to damage anything in here. Don't want to damage it at all. No. Don't do that.
Excellent. And let's hope there's some stuff in here that will make Paul gag. Honestly, that's if it's not fish, you have to eat it. If anything else, you're allergic to it.
No. So as long as this has to be food in, you have to put it in your way. Oh, fine. Although I will say when we're filming digitiser, Mr.
Bifogus basically poured prawn juice all over my fucking face. Really? Yeah. I don't want to talk about these times too much because a lot of crazy shit happened and I don't want to spoil it.
There's a box within a box. They've packed this extremely well. They have. We're going to taste the goodies.
We're having a sniff. There's a sniff coming out. There's a sniff. What are you sniffing?
I don't know. I hope nothing has been too badly broken or destroyed and churned it. Oh. I'm getting into this.
He's having a little slice up within a shoebox as well. A shoebox in this. You can see there in the mail. It did get quite badly deformed.
One corner of this. No, I don't think it's going to have a massive effect too much. No, I think it's a lovely red box with a kind of a... S metallic red stripes.
Yeah. It's nice. Here we go. We're in.
Here we go. Should we just take these out? Let's see how many they're off first and if there's a load, we'll separate them off. I'll take them out and then we'll describe them briefly as I take each item out.
OK, cool. Conbo, something we tried on the show before. These are baked snacks, but these are buffalo blue cheese, better for flavor. I think we might have done those already though.
We did do the blue cheese though. We did do blue cheese though. This is buffalo blue cheese though. We'll test them anyway.
So there we go. Oh, they look nice. Oh, look, ding dongs. These are peanut butter, hostess peanut butter ding dongs.
Oh. These are fudge-covered peanut butter cake with peanut butter creamy filling. Right. Bosch.
Blow. What's next? Lasko, soy food drink, creamy molds, maltor. Just add water.
Uh, mate. Creamy molds? We will be adding two of those. That's an episode down the line thing.
I'm doing that today on a hot day. On a hot day, do I want a creamy warm drink? You do. Pull the...
No way, fucking dough. Oh, my sister's creamy milk down your fucking front. No, it's a powder. I've also got peanut butter version of that.
Lasko. This is definitely a later on down the line episode. Oh, my God. He's having a moment.
Oh, my God. What is it? Joy frozen or unfrozen. Unfrozen today, Paul.
It's gonna have to be. What is it? These are pickle pops. These are pickle water, Islone.
You're gonna have one. Yes, you are. You're gonna have one not frozen. You're just gonna drink some pickle water in your mouth.
You're gonna squeeze your pickle water. And I've got... Look at this. The sauce tray.
She sent me for the... Mounds. It's a fucking sauce mounds, mate. Whatever.
It's a sauce valley. But lovely. Summer jamby there. And taggy BBQ for McDonald's.
Well, that's for you. I'm not interested. Oh, you're so fucking poo poo, everything. This isn't a fun episode.
This is the grumpy episode. Honey bun. Oh, ice. It's a honey bun.
Great value. You've got a millet, marg cake mix. Oh, that's too bad. We've got a microwave, though.
Well, we'll do it some other time. It's organic. Oh, that's another time episode. That's good.
Sweet heat skittles. Oh, what was that? Cheese gills. Oh, I was doing that.
I got a little file. That's cool. Howdy flavors with the... I think they have a new one, Paul.
They have bits of rumours going around. Yeah. Drum test, marijuana. Drum test.
98% accurate. Resorts in five minutes. Yeah, we're doing that right now. Yeah.
Yeah. Who do you think is going to have more marijuana in this? It's going to be me. And then authentic, I tie ice tea.
Place one tea bag, hot water, two, three minutes, drain, add, sweet, and let cool. Okay. So can we come back to that at the end? Let's have a look.
Let's see now. Let's make a decision about what we're going to taste today. Okay. So that, the minute more we can't do in some of the later.
I'll do that some other time. Sources I have no care about. My sauce valley. Thank you very much.
That's another episode. No, let's have some honey. All right. Well, then we've got too much of here.
We're going to put the ding dongs in for later. No, let's have this. Well, then we'll do the ice tea another time then. All right.
All right. Now what we've got. All right. We've got items on the table.
We've got all the wiversies. And we're going to take a drug test. We should probably do that now. So we can try that.
We might as well. What do I have to do? We. Let's find out.
This is a short at-home marijuana drug test. 98% accurate. One test. One test.
I mean, actually on the inside of the box, I've got to tear it apart, open it. No, I don't know what it says yet. Do you have to do it? I've got a bit of a little one I could do.
Right. Collect urine in a clean cup. OK. Remove the test strip from a sealed pouch.
OK. And most of the strip into the urine, the arrow pointing towards the urine. Then I'll keep saying urine. Take the strip out.
Oh, you're in. You're in with 10 to 15 seconds and lay on a flat strip on a clean, dry non-wonded surface, such as the box or a pouch. Resulpt in five minutes. What does it say?
Positive plus. A rose pink banded visible in the controlled sea region. Oh, we do this now. Do you want to do it now?
Give me a little cup. Give a piss in. I've washed it. God, I'm going to piss in there.
You can piss in my pot moodle. Call back to the last episode. Pot noodle. I've got to get a quick rinse.
Give it a rinse. Let's take a time. I'm going to keep recording, but let's just take a pause while you do a piss. OK.
All right. So if you piss in there, you need an in the strip. I think that's what it says. We're just doing a piss test.
Hang on. Collecting a cup. Remove the test strip. Have you got the test?
No. Please put it. Yeah. I'll leave it in five minutes.
We'll take it out quickly and just leave it. The side of my minute takes the strip out. After five minutes. I'm going to lay the strip on a flat.
So I'm going to use the side side. Eli is now taking a piss into my pot noodle cup, which I will shall be definitely cleaning out after this experiment. But we're going to do a drug test. I'm handing him the piss strip now.
Right. You've done. Yeah. I'm going to give you this.
You point to your whole green tip and you hit. Ready to the 10 seconds. Ready to the 10 seconds. Yeah.
You're taking it out. Yeah. You're putting it like that whole thing. The 10 seconds.
Literally like that. Yeah. And then I'll put it up that box. And then pull the gets away and we'll clean out.
So I've done the way and I've dunked my dipping it into the wee wee and it's ready. It's sitting there and we're going to have to just wait for. I'm going to put time on for that four minute to reckon because I was going to about a minute. So let's do that.
Setting the timer now. OK. The timer's done in four minutes or pip, pip, pip, pip. And then we'll check on your piss.
OK. Well, no. Whether I've been using no one. Well, hopefully it'll show a clean bill.
Why? Because I get fired. I'm fired. I'm fired.
Yeah. I'm going to fire you from the cheap show. If you fail this drug test. I'm firing you.
Eli's still going to be as a dirty cloggy. Who's going to replace me? She's going to come in. And I'll dress like you.
And I'll go here's a wig and it's a beard. And I'll follow him around. And I'll be like, just like Eli. Go on.
Go on. You're here. Tell me to fuck off. Oh, yeah.
Then we'll be like fuck off. They'll tell me differently. Where will you win? In the pant.
I'll reach out. In your pants. I'll put my hand out. And I'll go to the last.
And I'll go to the next. Do you like this? Do you like this? Do you like this?
And I'll go to the last. And he'll feel bad. Crusty scoops. Yeah.
I'll be like, I'll miss Eli. Smuckers. Look, jam. Little jams.
I know. It's not them. Nice jams. Yeah, I like jam.
It's got tangy barbecue. Now, is that different than all barbecue? I don't know. It's McDonald's tangy barbecue.
It's fine. I don't care. Listen, do you care about anything, Bob? Yeah.
What? Life. You care about life. Love.
I hope this thing goes off. I want to know if I'm on drugs or not. All right. Let's start eating food.
We're not doing those. Put those back. Let's start. We're going to do these three.
We need to eat at least one of these. Ding dong. We're going to have a ding dong. Yeah, we're going to have a ding dong.
Let's get the ding dong done first. We're going to have a ding dong and also we're going to taste the cake. Right. So ding dong peanut butter flavor by hostess made with mariall peanut butter, a fudge cup with peanut butter cake with peanut creamy filling or is it too rich and creamy?
Now, hostess famously make the twinkie. They make the twinkie. This is proper. Here you go.
It's like a little round. It looks a bit like a wagon wheel. It's got a little wag. It's a little cake in it down.
A little crumbly cake. Oh my god. I'm going to have a eat now. Here we go.
That's actually quite nice, isn't it? For what it is. Yeah. That's a nice little swipe.
But it doesn't have that super sickly sweetness. No, it's not sickly sweet. It's not very sweet. Yeah, I thought it was going to be much worse than this.
It's actually quite subtle. Yeah, quite nice. All of it. I would prefer that to have Reese's Pieces or cake in it.
Yeah, I think the cake offsets the peanut butter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nicely. It's not too heavy.
Not too cold. Oh, that's nice. I don't know if I buy a lot of them, but right now. Nice.
Very sweet. Very sweet. That's going to be a little boost. Ready to go.
Yeah, yeah. I think it's going to be a 7-5 for that. Oh, this piss-takes taking. I don't think I can concentrate.
The piss-takes taking too long. You know, it's a lot on the line. Yeah. But we've got 40 seconds to go.
So I will say this, before we go any further, we are doing the pickle next because I want to get that fucking done with me. I don't want that air. I'll just read the back of the pickle. Pickle, but no, it's a challenge to pickle.
Can you do it without your mouth full of fucking ding-dong? Get that ding-dong out of your mouth. I'll do what I like with a ding-dong. Yeah, you're doing it.
You're doing it. What have you got? Are we stewing? Those ding-dongs are evil.
Yeah, they are. They're nice. We both ate our ding-dongs and it was delightful. Strangely enough, they're sponsors of the NS Society, who the people who make these pickle put.
Oh, that's it, the piss test. Right, we'll get into that. I'm going to bring it in. I'm going to bring my pissy dipping stick in here.
And the box is all because I've got the results on it. Because we've been resting the dipping stick on the box, a nice non-absorbent platform to put it on. So we've got to wait now. The results have come back.
The results are written on it. So hopefully we can come with a conclusive result here. Hopefully I can fire Eli. I look forward to doing so.
What's it say? Where's that sea level? I know there's no... That's where the green bit is.