Ladies and gentlemen no no ladies gentlemen bam to first a little bit of bam to her I annoy you okay fine You're a shit cock like yeah, thanks Paul and ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you.
Thank you. I'm being nice That's it why cuz I'm sick of this. I'm trying to manufacture some kind of animosity at the start of the show I'm likely to pour right I like you yeah, I like you fine. All right.
You fine. That's a nice show. What's best It's a nice shirt. I like the color of the shorts.
They're faded. They're meant to be brown about their face They must have brown one of my least favorite colors must it at the start. They were darker. They're it's mustard brown It's an orangey brown.
I ask no why I'm not looking at that. I'm not touching it. I'm not touching it fucking move Move out my fucking space. Yeah, sit over there.
I try to be nice I said I like to shirt and you're just being like a little child like a little child He needs his bum bum touching podd. He needs his bum bum touching who wants his bum bum touching cleaning Well, that'd be more appropriate you think I'm reflection nothing to appropriate here We're in a morass of inappropriate half-thawing the hot house of pickles in a hot day It's a hot pickle fitting and everything's steaming. It's like a hot house flowers. That grub pants has a visible hum to it There's a hat on top of Mount Grop pants Yeah, and look there's a little govus suite over there if you want Paul Oh, no, I don't want to touch those again, and there's a no we got some chocolate there in the sauce trough or clippeter and there's It's a market like that you're in show that little fans up ladies in gentleman.
Hello. I'm the lysin woman It's time again for the show. Did we go away doing some African? I'm shout out shout out.
How about it? No, Australian. Yeah, yeah, shut that be a accent. They're not your strong point.
Everyone knows it All right, ladies and gentlemen, I'm in my stuff with his cheap shot time again He's your other house for getting he's gonna be good. Let's hope that stays true Yeah, hello welcome to cheap show Tonight you can't click because of continuity It's hot in the city tonight. It's hot in the city tonight. Yes.
Yeah, I'm so excited I just can't hide it. I'm about to lose my cheers, and I just can't hide it Yes, I would you hide it well? I did wipe it up. Oh with a tissue with a tissue that I'd already used last night to clear my beard of Curry curry stain on my tears Fucking Mount Grop pants house of pickles sauce trough it's a sticky hot one the value of the sources It's not pretty in the city in the house of pickles today I'm so excited so and I just can't hide it.
I just wanted to say I'm about to spot one off Or you won't you like to say Paul at the top of the show here now? I would like to just say thank you to everyone who bought tickets for cheap show. Yeah, I cheap show live Yeah, what have we got to look forward to in those live shows? Porf well, let me just say thank you because we put the tickets up on the website for Angel comedy and the first show Well, it was only gonna be one show there's two o'clock till four in the afternoon sold out on October 40 Yeah, so they sold out within a few hours and motherfucking live a and there's so many people on Twitter and on email saying oh I missed out and I thought maybe we can chant a second show So on the same day October 14th Sunday between five o'clock is exclusive.
We're doing a second show There's a second show same guess worry if you didn't manage to buy tickets for the first show There's a second show and also if you really want to see two shows the content can be different is it? Paul the two two two two two three separate totally different separate shows I think one's gonna be funny than the second The number one why because we're all there now and then we'll get for the first show will be sweating old Oh, fuck I do this again, and then we will and it's gonna be more violent It's gonna come to the second show no come to the second show cuz that's the final one the first one's gonna be sexy the second one We violence okay, so you get your little dose of sex and violence sex with the chief show live I'm very excited about it poor you should be so we're gonna have mr Biffo aka Paul Rose who's done the show for digitizing the show starting to be gifted the show with our most important mascot and Symbol of evil Keith Keith the two faced Dead my witch face. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah Keith. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks We have a show we have a shoe of Ashan from Boschins and Ashans obviously why can they just be have different sounding names Which mean what it's like he's called Ben and Ben's isn't it's like calling Dave's and Dave and Daph Daph Daph Daph Daph Daph Daph Daph Daph Daph Be bobby bobs and bobshop and fear weather coros Ash there Look at some tostah off last minute material like that thing they made us eat that he didn't really ever even react am Ben Scrap and terrible your game after you're not coming back So if you want to get his one thing is you can go to our website the cheap show Blade ok he gone there the first thing that's allatical about the tickets and I'll 1968 that second show Only about fiver If you're on Patreon, you get a little discount, you'll get a special Patreon code.
You can add into when you bang the tickets. There's a discount from Patreon subscribers. So just go to angelcomedy.co.uk and search for cheap show. You'll find this there.
Again, the link's on Twitter, the link's on our website, it's on our Facebook page. We'll go to angelcomedy.co.uk, love the cheap show, and get your tickets. So it's in October, we've got two months to fill it out, where I think we'll be all right. I think we'll be fine with it.
We'll see how it goes. Obviously if you're on Patreon, we can allow people who've seen the first shows come to the second one for maybe a bit of this space. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully there won't be doors in the deck in the day.
But we'll see. Well, thank you everyone. We're gonna make it work your way. We'll do your own.
To make a good show. It'll be a good show. So that's that, that's great, isn't it? And what's coming up in today's show?
Well, on today's show. Show, show, show, show, podcast, cheap show. Full show. And for that now, you've contributed to...
I've contributed shit all since I started. Yeah, yeah. What you are doing after this awful intro? We are doing Mikasa Sukasa.
Ooh, Sukasa Mikasa. A little bit of a pipe on piece of smoke on piece of paper. I've got a double fisted. Yeah, finish that sentence.
Oh, on Sukasa Sukasa today. And I have a gift for you that I wanted to give you for a long while. And I've never managed to find it until I found it. And I was like, I'm gonna give you it.
I'm on the Brelish. I'm gonna give you it. I'm gonna relish it. I'm gonna put some of that green relish that they have certain places on it.
Yeah, right. And then after that, we're gonna be... You know the green relish. Yeah, what's that called?
Grelish. No. Grelish, we could know for some kind of hobbit. Grelish, the impotent.
Yeah. Oh! Oh my God. Couldn't I just be a hobbit.
Try to have to perform in the matrimonial details. I'm sorry you have been given the name of... Grelish. Grelish.
I'm Grelish. I'm Grelish. And so you must be adorned with impotency. I can get it up, but then it just goes flat again.
You can use your fingers, mate, if that helps. I can use my fingers. Yeah. I've only got this little short hobbit fingers.
Oh, then you may. I can't help it. And I get all gluey. Do you think gluey?
They get all gluey, Paul. Anyway. Oh, I'm sticky fingers. I'm Grelish.
The fucking gnaw. This just shoots blanks. No. Okay.
Okay. Look at me. No. Ah.
There's a good reason why because I bought something that boggled my mind and it's a magic toy, but it's not magic. Oh. We'll go into more detail later on the show. And then I think we'll find a book.
So if we've got time, we'll read that book. Look at the book. It's called Tips for Meanies, Thrifty Wisdom from the Oldie magazine. Okay.
So we'll have a look at this. It's a piece of shit. See if we can find some lovely tips. Looks like a toilet book that you discard after the first heave.
I bought it from the works. It says £2, but I've got £50. Did you? Yeah.
How come? Because it was on sale. I'll give you £50 for this. No, no, no.
I say £50, you say £1.50. I take you down, you push me up. We paggle. Yeah, it's that way I have a pull.
Yeah. Let's replay it. Come along and try and buy that book. All right.
I've just found this book in a box of books that says any book for £50. Yeah, it's not for sale. It's my special plan. It says it's £2.
I'm sorry sir. I'll have to interrupt you here. Yeah. That's my special private supplier books.
Why do you have it in the movie? I just want it there. I have the storage space at home. Well, then put it outside the street.
Well, thank you. That's a good point. So I can't this book? It's £2.
Put it in a box of £50 people. What does that stick inside? It says £2. Well, then.
It says £2 then. But it says £50. All right, £50. Done.
And that's how you do it. That's how you get. Come again. Thank you.
Thank you. So we'll be meeting that later. Lovely. Lovely.
What's the new version of me? You suit cancer theme. That is not Native American and incentive. There was no theme.
Wasn't it? No, there's no jingle. No, it's simply me. It's the segment of the show.
It's not an intro. Well, whatever. It's just explaining it. You're your.
You're your. You're your. All right, leave it. No, no theme.
You got sorry. You got sorry. I'm sorry. So it's the cast of Suka's everybody.
It's the segment of the show where we bring gifts and we give each other gifts. And it's a gift giving in its pure essence. Proving that you can find one of the things to give to close friends in places that don't charge very much for them. Poundland's charity shops.
What can we find? That's going to bring a smile to your face. Now Paul, because I like bringing this amount to your face. Now Paul, I have to come clean with you here.
I just went to the charity shop earlier today. Grab whatever looked half of these and that's my Casa for you. Fine. Okay.
So your one sounds like it might be a bit better. So should we start with my Casa to you? Yes. Suka's a Paul.
Me Casa to you Casa, Suka's a today Casa Paul. Yes. Casa. Your mental.
Stop it. Go in mentally. I'm moving. It's a hate.
It's hard. I swear. Listen. Can we do a thing here where I have a little therapy pick.
Have a little therapy session with myself. I'll talk to myself. As me. As me.
Yeah. Right. Come on. I'm not going to do myself so much on the inside Paul.
No Eli, sorry. Well Eli, answer me. Well you can. Okay.
Answer me. No it's this. You're losing. You can't really do with it.
Are you ready for your Casa for me Casa? So a baby thing you want to prep. More than a belly. Oh.
Oh. Oh you ready for your gift Paul? I am. Okay.
Like I said, it's a double fisted gift. So it comes in two parts. Okay. Unrelated.
It's two gifts. Thank you very much. Yeah. I'm going to scram it around.
At the end of the bed. The nest in the house of pickles. I will close my eyes because in the house of pickles by a lodge it's best to keep eyes closed. I'll give you a call.
Okay. Sorry. It is. He's not even going to keep it.
It is a plastic little character. It's like a lady with a great big can of hairdo in a bikini. It looks like it's off the top of something. So it looks like maybe it went on top of what would it go on top of?
I don't know. I think it's just meant to be a figure. Maybe something you'd get in the kitchen. Like I don't know a spatula or something.
It's not a spatula top. Something like that. I'll have a guitar. And it might be one of those dolls sitting in a bikini.
Yeah, but also could be for a wee and off a toy and that men's represent an eight-year-old child. It's not meant to represent a child. You don't have that. Mate, your fucking ruining it's a segment.
It's maybe a gift for you. You can just pretend to be fucking grateful and say, oh, I'm going to Josh went off because of you doing that bikini. I'm not. I'm going to rub myself.
No, rub, rub. You're back. I'm going to keep that for wanking into. You know, I put the picture of this upon nine and people finally see what you're talking about?
Well, she's got a bikini. She's ready to get down. No, a date, nasal stones. very unwelcome material we were doing.
I'm not facking tanring to you. I'm just saying. That's a sexy little figurine. Fucking dirty little man.
Don't fucking throw it at me. Do you like your present? No! Right.
Here's my second part. Look. Come on, defend it. She's got...
It's a weird thing, isn't it? Yeah, it's unsettling. She's kind of tanned as well. Yeah.
Sexy. Like her wine, almost. Like her wine, ladies. I quite like it.
She can sit there and judge you. No, she can sit there and judge you. You ready for your main... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, that first one. Not really impressed. There you go. Don't drop it.
Oh! Now we're talking, ladies and gentlemen. It's like this airport. And it's an egg cup, but Paul...
Everyone's saying right now. That doesn't sound as if they're saying. That's what they're saying. Paul, I hate Paul, but she's not up.
That's what they're saying. They're saying Eli overates his very miniscule amount of talent. Oh, fuck off. Just saying.
What did I want to popping noise? Can you pop my thumb in it and go in this? Ow! So, it's an egg.
Ha ha ha. An egg holder, but ladies and gentlemen, what makes it delightful? Is it in the shape of Homer Simpson's hair? No.
Certainly is. It's not all his head. Because obviously you need to div it on the top to put the egg in. Why not?
It's just the whole thing ends on his own. Just below his overbite. But it's like he's coming up, if you put him on the table. Like he's coming up through a river.
It's like he's coming up from a river. Or that very famous, like it's become a meme now, since it's when he sort of goes into the bush. Yeah. So it's like a stealth home, though, isn't it?
It's like he's going... And also it's very big. The egg cup holder bit at the end. It is, isn't it?
Maybe it's a lovely little bit of thing. It's nicely painted. And look at the bottom. It's legit, probably isn't it?
Yeah, it says Matt Gronig. He put his name on fucking anything, but yeah. And then it has 2006 Fox. Yeah, it's actually official merch.
Yeah. Oh, it's lovely. It's like, it's not. I like it.
I like it. I do. So I had those cream egg ones when I got on the show ages ago. Yeah, it's still got those.
Well, that can sit next to us. Hey, all right. That's good. You like that.
Simpsons, at home, Simpson Head. And if you want to see photos of the gifts, they're all on the website. And they'll be going up as soon as the episode released. OK, now I am sweating in anticipation for your Casa to me.
In this Su Casa Me Casa gift giving segment of the show, Paul. Well, I didn't get anything. I just wanted to see if I could make you buy stuff. That's what I'm getting.
I just want to see if you can get this off. Give me that. Give me that. No, that's what I'm saying.
This actually is called Me Casa. No, it's not. This is me. I'm joking.
Better be. I'm joking. Did you get a look at the bread that's sacred covenant? No, I'd never do that.
Mate. Never do that. Me Casa Su Casa is sacred. It's sacred.
There's a day of joke about it. It's the football match across the song of this podcast. It certainly is good. It's a good reference.
So, you know, eight, right? So this is a two-part present. No, it is. What are you not getting because, well, I explain it with you.
The other one you are getting. But I want to show the one you're not getting because what you're not getting is something I wanted to have on the show for a while. No, because you said in the past that you're musical. You mean that I have musical talent?
Yeah. You said that before. I was joking. I know who's playing instrument.
Oh, I'm Monica. What's this? He's got a harmonica. I've got a harmonica.
So it's a... It's in the... It's a proper one. It's a blues harp.
I want to hear you play it. Things are blues then. Okay. Hang on.
Let me do it further away from Mike. Oh, wake up. As if it was actually song. I love you just shit.
I love that. Okay. I'll do it for a friend. Okay, I'll copy it.
And then you... Yeah. Hang on. Wait.
My baby don't like it when I come home at night. I'm dressed as Batman and I'm high as a kite. She says you don't fight crime, buddy. You're just a piss-haired and loose.
I cry in the corner and I sleep in the bush. Solo's a curse. I love being Batman. No, when I solo you shut up.
I love being Batman. There you go. Batman Blues. There you go, mate.
Right. Doesn't sound like someone who's never played. No, I was genuinely excited to give you that to hear you play because I don't even the past you've said I could play it. And it's me.
It's like... Yeah, see there. There you go. You're starting to...
I can improvise it. I should bend it more. There you go. That's much better.
Oh, God. That's what I got you for me, Cassar. That's a nice blues. I used to have one of these.
Hone of blues. Yeah. And that's why I'm not giving you it because that was given to me by someone I care but what I am giving to you is also given to me by that person but this is just something I think you should have. I'm waiting.
Close your eyes. Put your hand out. What is it? Oh, yeah.
This is Johnson the Blues King and this is a miniature harmonica. It is about the size of a pencil rubber maybe we'd say. Yeah, it's a little box. It's just long maybe.
Each and a half maybe little box there. Yeah. It's a different manufacturer. That's a honer.
And this is Johnson. Nice. The Blues King. Oh, mate.
This is so excellent. And it's a little tiny harmonica on a golden chain. Yeah. You wear it.
In case the Blues hits you. Yeah. You never know. There you go.
It's not as effective an instrument. No, but you've got many blues. You can use that for that. I love that.
Thank you. It's going to go next to my little miniature Tabasco sauce bottle up there. There you go. Lovely little thing here.
Thank you very much. My casa is fully sucached up. Shut up. I've got a stodge on my casa.
Thanks for my pleasure. We're both happy. Yeah. Play us out with the blues.
Okay. Play us out. We both cast and present. And now we're both happy.
I've got sweat tits on. And I should have a nappy. Because I've shot myself. Goodbye.
Goodbye. Thank you. Good. Okay.
So Paul. I was literally losing my mind when we were recording. I thought we were recording that. Oh no.
It's good. Now I'm glad we could do it again. It's all good. Now it's good.
It's cheap show. You're listening to cheap show. And Paul has got... Paul's got a point while he farted and threw me.
No, I didn't. We can forget that ever happened. We should have dirty grunts. It didn't happen.
That literally was abseiling down my throat. It smelled. There was a chewer on the loose. You could certainly get your dinner out of it.
Okay. Now what have you brought in Alport? Sort of book in the works. You know the book shot that sells discount books.
How much was it? Two pounds. Yeah. But I believe it was when I got it was 50 pictures.
And it was one of the box of 50 people. How did you get it for 50 people? Have you done this really? Yeah.
We did this bit already. We'll not do it. Let's not do that again. Yeah.
Okay then. Fifty-three. It's called Tips for Meanies. Fifty Wisdom from the Oldie.
Compiled by Jane Thine or Thine. What do you think it's pronounced? Ten. I'm just playing going over.
It's a very summery day. Tips for the help you save money if you take a sip. Okay. I'll let you read a few out, Paul.
Scraping the barrel is generally a pejorative, but to me it's a badge of honor. This book says Tips for Meanies when equipped even the thirtieth meanies with new versatile weapons for their armory. There's a penny-pigy potential of everyday miracle products from toothpaste and vinegar to barbeque briskets. Find conning ways to curb household shopping and energy bills.
Always handy. Avoid pricey trips to the chemist by channeling the healing powers of cheap and easy home remedies. Okay. Slightly more interesting.
Read one out and I'll tell you. You start with miracle products. I don't care. Honestly, I think this is.
Give me more. This is actually us informing our podcast listeners of cheap things. One of the things we should do is part of the remake of this show outside of, you know, but each other. I'll tell you what.
If you're ill, go to the doctor. It's on a life hack. Yeah. Go to the doctor.
Don't just put vinegar on your knobs. No, no, no. There's put vinegar on your knobs. The ancient Romans used it as an antiseptic.
It removed stains like sweat, which you could fucking do with. Sweaty fucking mess. It's fruit, jam, cola, mustard, it cleans coffee and tea stains from China. This is vexed wooden chopping board.
Tea stains from China only over the teas from China. They go to India. A-a-a-a-a. You know what China means.
Read that sentence again. Make more effort. Read that sentence again. It cleans coffee and tea stains from China.
Tea stains from China. What does it mean? Tea stains from China. Bone China.
Oh, from China. Yes. Just keep reading the coffee. Just keep fucking reading.
A mix with salt, vinegar, all clean copper, bross and brass. It will clean the 80s dew out. Oh, bross and brass. Fuck off.
When will I have vinegar clean me? I can't answer. I can't answer that. When will I be taking off the shelf and cleaning the vinegar?
I can't answer. I can't. I can't put. It's bross made.
Pathetic. I remember when, where I was when I first saw that bross video. Jack in it. No, I was in a Austrian ski lodge.
It was in an Austrian ski lodge trying to get off of the girl who hated me. No. That's when I lost my virginity as well, so she didn't hate me. She liked me enough to let me put it right.
Also, that was my first appearance on Telly. Because you've been done fucking having sex with this girl. No, I didn't have worn it on CCTV... No, it's on TV.
We want their little tea in nature. It was the actually in the Scottish in weather report. It was the weather report, they were doing it from the top of the mountain where we were skiing from, and I was on it. Look at Yeti, little midget Yeti, everyone.
Look at little tiny, little tiny Yeti, everyone. Small Yeti, Zneti, teeny Yeti. Fuck off. Teen Yeti.
Yeah, that would be good. That would be good. That would be titty, starring you like Silmar. Oh, that was your brand off.
No, it doesn't sound like Richard Brown. It sounds very similar. Here comes Teen Yeti, all right? Yeah.
He comes down rolls down the hill. Like a little ball of fuel. Oh, I love it, kid. Hello.
Oh, I've got adolescent problems. I'm Teen Yeti. Oh, you. I don't know.
You're a pause. I say I am. Hello, I am Paul. Nice to meet you.
Oh, I've got acne. Good thing I've got a hairy face. You can't see it. That is true.
Have you got a date tonight? Yes, I have. Yes. How's your meter?
It's for gnome. Oh, I love this. Hello, from the outside. You know what?
It's a chair to gnome. You're moving that. Did you know? Did you know?
Gnomes are hollow. Have you looked at them from behind? And yeah, that's what I'll do with her. Horrible.
That's fucking horrible. I'll get all my Yeti junk all up in there. Shut up. Shut up.
I'm saying, yes, I'll be doing the rest of this section. No, you won't. Oh, yes, I will. I'll just take that man for walking back.
Fuck it. That's Eli's maven with Auntie Yate. Hello. It's not your best character.
Oh, that's great. It's real. That's really mean. Right.
Okay. We'll go on then. See if you can sustain it. Okay.
Coca-Cola is also good for cleaning stuff. I drink Coca-Cola because I'm a Yeti. I kind of go emptied into the wash with detergent. It's seriously good.
Greaser moving. There you go. I find that hard to remove. Just run through a normal cycle and the car bonic and frost-free acid will dissolve stains and deodorize clothes.
It's also a rust-buster. You can clean a blackened sauce with my simmering coconut. Ah, poor. I've got a question.
How could I just cut a cola at cleaning the stains of my victims from my flesh? It all gets matted in my hair. All fleshy. Is it good for that?
Is it good for that? Right. I'm sick of this. I'm not.
That's teen Yeti in three minutes. Read another one. It's Eli's back in the room now. Teen Yeti's gone down the hill.
He's a mini teen Yeti. He's good. I'm going to pass comments. I'm just not.
It wasn't. It was my candle. Candles are good for what? Staffing up your ass.
Because you couldn't have thought of anything with you that I couldn't. I'm going down your japside. That's the dutch. Oh, sorry.
I'm sorry, everyone. Meetus. Meetus. Meetus, soo-metus.
Meetus, soo-metus. Teen Yeti's coming back up the hill. A rub of the candle is the best way to ease a sticking draw or window sash. And stroked on a hinge.
A candle is superb for fixing a squeaky door. Could you read that out again? That whole thing. A rub of the candle.
Yeah. I'd rather it where? Yeah. There's the best way to ease.
Oh, I'm eating it in. A sticking draw or window sash. Oh, sash, I fuck up here. And stroked on a hinge.
Shoke it on meinch. A candle is superb for fixing a squeaky door. Ee-e-e. Fix me with the candle.
Ohhh. A truly will be sure to freeze their candles and owl before lighting. Are you freezing it? It makes the last longer.
And dripless. What? So it says it, yeah. Stick it in the freezer.
No, no, no. I have not heard before, poor. Well, there you go. But I'm not going to be freezing my candles off.
Just for a bit of party. Why? It's a bit dripless. It's nice with it dripless.