Ep. 87 — Seventeen Syllables of Suffering: The Haiku Scam

Tired of people calling 17 syllables “genius”? So am I.In this brutally honest, occasionally unhinged episode of Perfectly Poetic, Allen Mowery finally unleashes his pent-up frustration about the most overrated poetic form of all time: the haiku. From childhood worksheet trauma to seasonal name-dropping, syllable policing, AI-generated nonsense, and the myth of Bashō's frog — no stone (or smooth river pebble) is left unskipped.Prepare yourself for frogs, fury, and the poetic equivalent of vending machine sushi.Spoiler: There’s a haiku at the end. And it’s not about coffee.What We Cover in This Episode:Why your third-grade haiku assignment was emotional sabotageThe true history of haiku (and how we butchered it)Bashō’s frog poem — misunderstood or overhyped?The tyranny of 5-7-5 and the myth of moraeWhy “deep” isn’t the same as “short”Haikus on dating profiles, bumper stickers, and coffee shop chalkboardsAllen’s Haiku Manifesto for the modern worldAI haikus vs. human ones: can you tell the difference?A few delightfully petty haikus written out of spiteWhy we should demand more from poetry — and ourselvesQuote from the Episode:“A haiku is not profound just because it’s small. It’s not a bonsai tree — it’s usually just a dead branch with a filter on it.”Mentioned or Referenced:Matsuo BashōNick VirgilioJack Kerouac3rd grade teachers everywhereHaiku bots (yes, they’re real and yes, they’re terrifying)Connect with the Show:🌐 Website: perfectlypoetic.com📸 Instagram: @perfectlypoeticpodcast📬 Email: [email protected]📺 YouTube: @perfectlypoeticpodcast