Recording. Go on. Go on. Now I'm not.
Right. Compose yourself. Professional now. Professional minds on.
Chief Church Recording we're ready to go. Professional brains on. We're in the House of Pickles. Professional brain on.
Hello. I've got my professional brain on. And I'm here you like. It's a Chief Show everybody.
Hello. And his Paul Ganon is the other guy does it. Hello. Welcome to Chief Show.
I can do the music now. Yeah. Hey you and your fucking moods will pause you. Full of love move.
Look at that fucking percent. I'm doing all this stuff. I'm going on. I'm going on.
Slick. Yeah. And at this point I'd like to say I just came out of the toilet for a winky. I came out of the toilet for a winky.
Now you don't have to break that down. I just came out of the toilet. For a winky. And pray tell.
I went for a piss. I went for a piss. That isn't clear from the expression I came out of the toilet for a winky. It's not okay.
I'm glad you hit that. I was just going to say how it's about beefing in there. Oh come on now. Now listen.
Paul in all honesty. It's not like a steak and kidney frame. Ben toss pie. This is it.
This is a new loan. Officially I didn't know you would do this today. I thought we were going to be professional. It really will not be the smell.
It felt familiar. And yeah. I don't know. It's like a warning.
Okay. It's a warning. It's a warning from nature. Mother nature.
The ineffable. Oceanic piece that she is. Anyway. Hello.
It's the economy comedy podcast. We go for the bargain in the powerlands and the bargain basements of Great Britain. Bargain, twice. We go through the cherry shops, bargain basements, power shops, of Great Britain.
Fit stores, flea market, double sales, bizarre, car boot sales, lemonade stands. Of Great Britain. And bring you our findings to say hey, austerity. It's not so, but no, it's awful.
That was made. Really built up to something. What did we say? Shall I get a pull?
We go through this and that and this and that and that to bring you stuff and to say life's not bad is it? It's all right. It's all right. It's all right.
That we will find a little bit of. The mediocrity when you're suddenly when you're faced with the naked mediocrity of yourself. That's when the songs come out. There was a little pause and you just thought.
He's not wrong. He's not wrong. He's not wrong. He's not wrong.
So why don't you keep showing up? I've not been too bad. Well, I've had a bit of a lingering viral. Yeah.
You know, it's this time of year. It's this time of year, isn't it? Ever when the change is. Ooh.
Ooh. Something named Philiticely. Yeah. Yeah.
That's the thing. I've got a Vix vapor for sick. It's a mental it does. Yeah.
It is. That's the point of Vix. Oh, yeah. I don't know.
You know, get your band. You can breathe a bit more easily from it. Yeah. Can you really though?
You know what though? I think it's all just a bit of a placebo. Mental. Well, no.
I mean, because you know what it does? It's sort of numbs. That's why they put it in cigarettes originally. Really?
Because it kind of numbs. Yes. So it makes it less painful to have the nasty smoke. You know, they're banning mental cigarettes as well.
Yeah. It's Britain gone crazy bonkers. Pockabongas. Pizzi.
It just sort of seems to relieve it because it's still nice to have. It's a nice effect. It's pure, but it brings me to a point that is pretty on topic for cheap show. So I was watching a video online about this guy who appeared on this morning and he said, you know, you can get your brand headache pills, you know, your paracetamels, ibuprofen.
And then you can get the 55 p one to get in like pounds. Yes. He goes, you need to look because, and it's got a very long story short. If you read the certain code in the back, you'll know what ingredients are in each.
So effectively, you'll realize that the big super name brands are using the exact same ingredients. Oh, the where of this? Drugs. It's a priority to provide what they call, like the name of a drug.
It's not the name of a brand. No. It is the name of the substance. So you look at the, yeah, it's paracetamol.
There is no difference. If you buy whatever, not in your opinion, because that's ibuprofen, whatever. What's the funniest aspect of it? Like, anadine.
Anadine. It's paracetamol. Yeah. But they put too quick on it.
Anyway, it just means I've been looking at stuff on the shelves and comparing it and going, oh, that's the same for that. It goes to like does. OK, it's not like a pimping does. Oh my god.
I was asked to buy some laundry gels. Welcome to a new segment of Cheecho. Paul's consumer boarder. I keep knowing that this show to the Leafs attempt.
It's a dry consumer talk. Anyway, what I do find is, was it twice as fresh? Well, does it three times as fresh? What's all bouncy?
Well, actually, I'm actually out of court. I'm smelling it. How about this, Paul? I'm smelling it for the first time.
I've changed the dad's for the first time. Yeah. Oh. Yeah.
Oh, what are you saying? Sorry. I'm just saying that when I looked at the cheap does and then the expensive personal, the little gels. The exact same ingredients.
Yeah, but then you're also the colour of them. But you're also paying for whatever aromatic sort of mix that they have. But some people will be like, they get into the smell of a certain product. Like, OK, so they're leaving and that's the one they want.
But that's how they work, because they all essentially do the same thing. You have to do it. So I just bought the does. That's how they trick you, especially the drugs.
It's outrageous. Like, I would probably find you can get a pack for 60p. And then if you buy a new event, exactly the same chemical, it's like £3.60. Yeah.
Because they have some special agent in the book. It's like, what is it? It's in plain sight. But people still make the decision to go for the brand.
Exactly. Because it's trusted. Do you know what I mean? It's there.
No one's going to try and say these aren't exactly the same thing. No. They'll tell you. Do you know what I mean?
These are exactly the same thing. Do you want the new event? Yes. Yeah.
Job done. People, so stupid. Stupid. What?
Right. Right. So anyway, anyway, what's on the show today? You know what you are.
What is on the show today? You kick. What do you want to do on the show today? Um, who would you like to do?
What would I like to do? Yeah. I'd like to do. What would you like to do?
What would you like to do? I would need to sort out those records. And what show related? What do you mean show related?
What segment would you like to do? I don't know. Price of shine? Let's do a price of shine then.
Yay! I'll tell you what, I'll do my price of shine the one where I find something, have something given to me and something I bought. And you must find out which one is which. It's a little variant and I have to say poo poo you.
Yeah. But that's pretty cool. And also, can I just add at this point? Yeah.
I also get a go for extra points by guessing the price of the thing. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do.
So there is a bit of a progressing price of the element. It's brought in from a little bit forward. It keeps its head to the brand. It keeps its head to the brand.
It's gone off on a whole spin-off series. Yeah, it's nice isn't it? The variety, our listenership, love. It's the plentiful amount of ideas.
It's the herb crust. It's the herb crust on our beef brisket. Like that? No.
It didn't work for me. It is. Oh, like what would work better for you? It is.
I don't work better for you. Yeah. It's a spiky crust! That's a spiky crust!
That's a spiky crust! That's a spiky crust. I was going to say the delicate tinsel on a Christmas tree. The tinsel on a Christmas tree.
Well, I'm just going to go leave the toilet to have a nippy. What do you tell me? I had a winky. I left the toilet to have a winky.
Anyway, we're moving on. I left the toilet to have a winky. I left the toilet to have a winky. I'll have a platter.
Do you have any platters? Do you want to do platters? Yeah. Got some platters.
Yeah. Oh, well that's great. Do you want to play a game? I quite like games.
Now Paul, I saw this game's stack market. Oh, here we go. In the charity shop. I'd rather we talk about booze.
It's big growling booze. No. It was a combination of the X-terity game and wagering game. I didn't like the look of it.
Not the look of it. I showed it to Paul. And the board game. Come on.
Come on ladies and gentlemen. How you trying now? That's been golden material. That is.
Come on love. You're enjoying yourself. Tell your fucking face. That's an old one.
That's not yours. Are you in showbiz mate? It's only face. It's so hacky man.
Get your foot off the fucking stage. I like it. Come on. I don't go to a new work and say something derogatory.
You got the toilet. Right. You got some good bladder infection. Oh, what's wrong with you?
You piss flaps on leaky. Right. I'm getting to this. Hey, who's that fish?
Oh, come on. Who's that fish? My best stuff. Fuck off.
I'm going to stage you. So have I, Paul, have I chosen all three segments? Yeah. So I'm going to try to show it.
Yeah. Platter. Platter. Platter.
Platter. And then again. Well, let's do patch show. Yeah.
Can we stop talking now? No. We have to talk about this segment. All right.
It's not very nice while I'm doing it. Oh, say something witty then. Okay. Come on mate.
Say something witty. Paul. You can make me laugh. I'll end the segment.
Paul. I've put down so you'll never like to. You'll never know. You divock.
Right. Willa Fairy. What is he selling? Barcheons.
Dick boys. Dick. Dick. Dicky boys or something.
Willy boys. What did that mean? Come on. If you have to explain it.
You know what it means. You are one. I don't care. I don't care.
What? I want to do ten minutes of letters. You ask me. You said it was my choice.
What bits were doing? What? You want to do letters? To tell us from the shop.
I've not to be fair because things have been busy with I am the storyteller and my story must be told I had to move, come came bro to Londro and that was quite stressful I haven't had time to do anything at all Okay, I've got a letter. Yeah but I'm going for it now and it's actually quite sad. I'm not gonna read it out because I'll just give you a few words stab, suicide, pre-school, bloody hell, robbery so maybe... Well you had some prepared pull.
No I told you I didn't That's why I wanted to be the segment but then you were like let's say we're gonna change the name of it from tell from the shop floor to letters this is a letter. There are letters. Let's do one letter god this shows fucking falling apart it's not we used to have segments this is a segment you what you wanted to do letters I know we can't just like I'll read that stab suicide anyway would you like to read the letter I can discuss Mount Grop pants overlooking the source trough how would that work how would that benefit us but while you look for some shit I've already found one. Alright good you want to read it?
The letter to us here at show shows it is. Yes it is. There you go. Hello Paul and Eli.
Yeah I remember to read to make as well because we want to hear your lovely voice. Hello Paul and Eli. Hello I hope you're in an awesome mood and having a great time working on new episode of show show. We are.
We are. Yes we are. Yes yes. So I wanted to share with you some tales from the shop floor special edition from Poland.
I get the actual story I need to provide a little introduction. Now Eli you don't like context so how's it going? Well obviously in Poland we have stores with used clothing and other pre-owned stuff. Okay these stores however unlike charity shops in the UK don't obtain the items from donations.
What? I believe there is a huge supplier network for used stuff which provides sales of used clothing etc. Stores in Poland buy used stuff in bulk from this supplier network. So where do they get them from?
They must thrift them as in they must go and pick them up or what leave them at a bag and they collect them and everything. Yeah they sort of all out and then it's just all donated. They just got directly donated. Interesting.
Interesting. I think that 90% of used clothes and item sold in Poland come from the UK. What? Now is the funny part.
I would have said that's absolutely. My clothes, cool bridge, cool, cool, go, go, go, go, it's disgusting. I've got to shut my pants and get shit to pound it. What I do?
Why is everything shit your pants? Why is everything shit your pants? Well we've moved off and wanking. We've moved down.
We've moved around the corner where chocolate's made. Right milk milk, I remember where of this school yard. Right sorry okay so here you start the thing. Now yeah is the funny part.
Good. It's only an assumption but I think most of the stuff that goes to Polish thrift stores are actually things that didn't sell in British charity shops. So bounce back. Yeah.
Trickle down. Trickle up and then down. I have to say that most of the stuff is trash. Right.
But it's possible to find something nice from time to time. Now for the story itself. Today I visited one of those shops and mindlessly went through stuff they had. I wasn't looking for anything specific.
Usually I look out for quality stuff like items in good condition, made from decent materials etc. I noticed I wouldn't ve ours. It was rather weirdly shaped and that's why I picked it up. Which I now regret.
It was round and round. Oh. What? I don't know.
I just had a little twinge. It was round and round and flat made from nice thick wood and was missing a lid. It was placed amongst bowls and plates so one could assume it was meant for keeping the food but the opening at the top was rather small and it would be rather difficult to fish stuff out of the inside. In trick I turned it upside down to see if there was maybe a tag or a name of the producer at the bottom which would maybe give me a hint.
Yeah. What this vase was for? Yeah. I think we know.
Don't we? Well there was no tag and no producer name. However there was a writing there. I mean I think there was writing is what they named it.
Yeah. And oh boy why did I pick it up? The writing said John Lewis. Oh dear.
Oh dear. So there you go. It was an early ashes of Paul John Lewis. I was a lovely container for your sugar made in.
What happened to the ashes? Obviously they weren't in there anymore. They'd been eaten. They got moldy or clumping on the inside maybe.
Do you? Well you'd be thinking it's basically like when it gets wet it gets all like clay. I guess it got moisture in it. Yeah.
So maybe he did. He told it over and he didn't say all bunch of ash. Which is where I thought it was going to go. Yeah.
The poor. And when he says John Lewis I thought he meant it was made in John Lewis. Yeah. Might be.
No. What John Lewis and it's made of ash. The tree ash. Yeah.
Just got this totally wrong. Maybe. This is another case for no. See it's not anything.
It wasn't like an imprint. It wasn't printed on. It was made by John Lewis. I think we've uncovered a fraud.
Oh yeah. Yeah. We got this fraud case. We got this guy claiming he's got it.
I'm the detective. Why are you explaining it for? I'm the lieutenant. Are you explaining it to me?
Oh you're the lieutenant. Yeah. I'm the lieutenant. Yeah.
Biscuits. Oh my God. Tell this guy to get out of here. The biscuits guy again.
Excuse me. Hello. Yeah. Is that for a guy?
Biscuits guy out of here. The biscuits guy is here. I'm trying to investigate this fucking act. Biscuits.
This is the crime of a century. Listen. Listen. Listen.
Listen. Biscuits you asshole. This is the last time you're impersonating a police officer for the last time. Put him in a cell.
I gotta crack this. Put him in a nasty cell with someone's puked in. It's now the puked biscuits boy. You're going down the wrong alley detective.
Oh we I give me biscuits. Can solve this case. Get him out of here. Sheesh.
That biscuits guy really pushes my nipple ring. So they got back to the story. Yes. Yeah.
How are things going with the mailbox? I really wish to send you the cheapest of the Polish and active foods. I'd like that. Martin.
Thank you, Martin for that. Interesting little story. Very much, Marta. It had a morbid element, but no poor shit or dead animals.
Which is not a great one. But it can always be dead things and shit things. And interesting little look at the way that secondhand goods are distributed differently in different parts of Europe. You're learning things again.
We talked about that. I did not know that. And cheap things. I did not know that because if you think about it, you do get secondhand shops in Britain.
But it's completely dominated by charity shops. Yeah. The whole secondhand goods market. Oh, I like it.
I got these trainers for the charity shop. I got these red trainers if they were too good and they fit like a glove. Yeah. Have you got another letter?
We read one more badly and fuck up all the words and stuff. And I'll just simmer. I'll simmer. I'll simmer.
I'll simmer. I'll fizzle in hatred of you. This is by Ian Tandy. Unless he latest as an email.
Don't call my real name, which case I'll edit that out. Anyway, hi, Paul and Eli. Hello. I've been listening to Tails from the shop floor for a long time and finally realized I was sitting on a story all along that perfectly fit to the bill.
Tick box one. Shit. Tick box two. Lucas stroke.
Pierce stroke. Come. Tick box three. The big category.
Homelessness. Tick box four. Dementia stroke. Right.
On the illness. Tick box five is death. Tick box five is death. That's my little tick box.
Let's see how many of you get tick box five is death. Fuck it is. No, anyway, this game. I'll be playing this town on the shop floor game.
Yeah. Yeah, good. A long time. Tell us in the shop floor.
Bingo. Yeah. Yeah. Right.
Sure. Let me read the story. All right, then. For a good portion of my working life, I worked for a major UK supermarket.
He won't name probably for the best. I won, particularly quiet morning shift. I stopped to have a chat with my most favorite of the install contract cleaners for the store. We'll call this suit.
Usually a lovely cheap. I was ready with a joke and a sweet to share today. Sweet to share. Yeah, like a spoiled sweet.
Would you like a old sweet? No. So you clean shit up for a living. So now I've got a hot gold and a big bag of sweets.
Would you like one? If you want. No. Thanks.
I've just watched my ends. I've been like a robot. It's fine. Yeah.
I'll have it. No. I mean, it's now putting it down. It is really full.
Putting it in your mouth. Put it in your mouth. All right. I'm wrapping it.
Go on putting it in. I'm putting it in. It's too much shit. You're bad.
Right. We met so good. No, brilliantly sketched. Oh my God.
The depth. It's like it was someone else here who I was talking to. Wow. Anyway.
Sweet to share. Today, she was red faced and raging. She just had a right telling off from his site manager for a long trail of dirty speaks. I was on the shop floor.
I don't know why that's funny. Now dirty streaks on the shop floor. Wouldn't usually be an issue of the daily life of the supermarket. That's not a piece of shoe soles, trolley wheels, stock cages and wooden pallets.
Well, these usually leave marks and they build up quickly and if not clean regularly become difficult to remove. Yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about there. What was different today was that the store was booked in for an inspection from the area management team and Sue's manager had given her a right telling off because they felt the inspection and the section they'd lost the most points on was due to this trail of marks.
Sue was absolutely adamant that she'd come in early to the booth and polish the floor to within an inch of its life and she asked to keep pallets and cages. Off the floor until the inspection so she couldn't understand why these marks are built up so quickly. This is so far really interesting. Right.
Do you know the marks are there? She's kind of she's aware that's why she's so angry. Everything was thought to be the kind of marks. I mean the senior point here Paul.
The marks seem to be the sort of marks that would need much longer even if they. There's no way they could have produced them. She's not angry with them for moving stuff around. That's normally what happens because she could split cleaned especially.
Yeah. And it's almost a supernatural accruing of dirt onto the trails got there too fast. You know what? I'm I just like to say.
Yeah. Just you know something that's sort of forming as a theory. Yeah. It's shit.
The trails are poo. Well, six box one. That's where we go. That's what I'm thinking.
Let's see where we go. In an effort to cheer her up I told her to speak to security to check the cameras and at the very least she could show her boss that she'd done a job and it was out of her control. Within minutes I was shouted down to come and check the footage starting from the pet food aisle. We focused on what I could only describe as a stereotypical early morning supermarket old woman.
So we can tick box old. Heads off old and needlessly thick coat walking with a bit of a snoop and pulling one of these tall two wheeled trolleys like you carry your record around him. Shopping trolley style flanked by her male accomplished pushing a normal trolley on a place. What did I say accomplished?
Oh, then a complex on a journey around the house is clear even on the grainy CCTV from the bottom of a skirt was a constant trick. The one could only be described as a spit pack of share size mom teasers. She's nagging dropped at the sort of flow rate you'd use to seed your god. Every time one dropped old woman would somehow manage to run over with their own trolley.
Quickly followed by her friend squashing them in with his trolley but Sue had already checked the stains. There were no crumbs. These little brown balls weren't maltieces. Most people would be horrified by what they'd seen but not so.
She quickly ran off to proudly tell her boss that it wasn't actually her poor quality of work that filled inspection. It was an old woman shitting out of her skirts and a couple of trolleys squashing it into the floor. Bravo! The mystery solved!
With this little clue I have solved the mystery. Hestings we're not as criminal in this case and it is a sorry state of the art. What was she called? What are they called as?
Drakey Margaret. No boss surprisingly accepted. The mistress of the bomb let. Madam rabbit plops.
Rabbit. Madam rabbit plops. Madam rabbit plops. Hello.
I am Madam rabbit plops. It's like Michael McIntyre is she. Hello. Whoops.
Can I be your compass? Oh dear. Yes. You're my idiot.
I'm a giant. I'll squash it shitting. I'm Madam rabbit plops. You are so good to me.
I don't have to. Don't die. I need me. Just go to double treading.
Double treading on me. I'm good for that Madam. You know I am. Okay.
I will be your accomplice on this mission and I will walk behind me with you. I will double rabbit. Double rabbit shitting the fucking ground. I'm squashing gin.
And that's everybody that's tells from the shop floor. The boss was happily accepted. Surprisingly accepted this reason quite easily. Look, apologize to her for taking his frustrations out of it.
So he should pull. She then went off to get cleaning for the four I was with the pressing level of desensitization to human waste. Only supermarket can get home to the bellow. So next time you're in the supermarket and you hear the beep, think of the fun you can be having on supermarket sleep.
No, I bad it bad. And you see something still on the floor and think it's disgusting that it hasn't been cleaned yet. It's very thought for the cleaner who's probably all tourists in shit somewhere else. Ian, in Liverpool.
Ian, it so does emerge as the absolute hero on that. She was, you can make a fucking corporate-installed drama and you have, do you know who plays her bad boss? Gene Hackman, right? So Bad Boss as the one who's, like, down on her.
Okay. He's joining Beymer. And then he has to accept in the end. He was squittery and what was he doing.
What was she doing? Random rabbit, why did you think of a name that was really difficult for your say? Madam rabbit. Okay, you can say it.
Madam rabbit, I'm returning back. Oh, I dropped off returning to the scene of the crime. Oh. Oh, Adam.
I see you've brought your henchman. He's got a great new gym. No, he's called Swishy Gym. No, he's called Swishy Gym.
No, he's always like, oh, you're carrying his park. I just do a nonverbal thing. But they always bike. And I'm squishy gym, yeah.
I'm going to do a nonverbal thing. But then, no matter what the caribbean, you can go. I'm a man. No, that is what Mr.
Brandoff does. That's what shows a very limited sense of imagination. Sorry? Very limited imagination.
That was a... Where am I? That was an impromptu tale from the shop floor. Thank you, if you want to email anything in, any letter you like about any topic you like, ask Silverman, whatever.
It's the cheap show at gmail. Sue is the hero.com. I can see like a... Sue should be in our hall of fame of heroes.
She knew. She thought she wasn't going to take the blame. No. Streaks.
See, she's charming. H. She's harmless. A.
She's... Sorry, what are you doing? I'm trying to spell out cheap show. Cheap show Lady of the Year.
Let's curtail that song. So every... See, she's charming. H.