EP09: The Science of Loneliness: Why We Choose to Be Alone & How It Shapes Us

In this powerful and deeply personal episode of The Thoughtful Advocate, host Elizabeth Teo explores the complex experience of being alone both by choice and by circumstance and what science reveals about loneliness, friendship, and connection. Drawing from her own childhood memories of being isolated at home while others enjoyed pool parties and sleepovers, Elizabeth shares how video games and imagination became her lifeline to adventure and connection.    She discusses fascinating research on how loneliness activates the same areas of the brain as physical pain and why chronic loneliness can be as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Elizabeth also dives into the difference between harmful isolation and restorative solitude, explaining how chosen alone time can actually boost creativity, self-awareness, and emotional resilience.   Throughout the episode, Elizabeth reflects on the challenges of making friends as an adult, the hidden barriers we build after being hurt, and why meaningful connections take time, energy, and courage to form. You’ll hear insights from experts like Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Dr. Sherry Turkle, and UCLA studies on the neuroscience of loneliness, as well as practical encouragement on putting yourself out there whether that means saying hello to a neighbor, attending a community event, or trying a friendship app.   If you’ve ever felt alone, longed for deeper connections, or struggled to balance solitude and social life, this episode offers hope, science-backed guidance, and a reminder that you’re never truly alone. Share this with someone who might need it, and subscribe for more thoughtful conversations about healing, connection, and personal growth.