EP236 When the People Who Loved the Old You Don't Like the New You

Send us Fan MailYou started doing the work. Therapy, boundaries, actually feeling your feelings instead of stuffing them down. And somehow that's made things harder with the people who are supposed to love you.Sami and Angela get into what happens in your relationships once you actually start healing, because here's the part nobody warns you about: some people liked the old version of you better. The one who people pleased, who never made anyone uncomfortable, who could be counted on to fold. When that version of you starts to change, it doesn't always go over well, even with people who love you. In this episode, we dig into:Permission to keep growing even when the people around you preferred your old coping mechanismsA way to tell the difference between someone who just needs a different pace and someone who needs a boundaryWhy repair, not perfection, is the number one relationship skill either of us has learnedLanguage for grieving relationships that don't fit anymore without needing to end them dramaticallyReassurance that the loneliness of growth is a normal part of the process, not a sign you took a wrong turnAngela shares what happened this week when her nervous system “melted” in a meeting after years of only ever feeling anger or professional-normal, and what it took to say “I need a minute” out loud. Sami tells the story of a close friend whose dysfunctional family is threatened by her therapy and a new job in a new city, and reaches for the image of Indiana Jones' leap of faith to describe how lonely healing can feel once you take the step other people aren't ready to take.If you're in the middle of becoming a new version of yourself and it's straining relationships you didn't expect it to strain, this episode gives you permission to keep going without needing to fix or cut off everyone around you. Growth costs something. You get to grieve that cost without treating it as proof you're doing it wrong.Press play on this one if the people around you are struggling with who you're becoming. You're allowed to keep going anyway, and you're allowed to be kind to yourself while you do.Related EpisodesEP235 — Is People Pleasing Always a Bad Thing?: Last week's conversation on the fear driving people pleasing sets up this week's question directly: what happens to those relationships once the people pleasing stops.EP63 — Why Friendship Matters for Longevity: The “five people you spend the most time with” episode Sami references (and pushes back on) in this one. Start here for the fuller take.EP198 — Mom Guilt & Parenting Boundaries (with Dr. Juhi): The other side of the boundary Angela describes with her own adult kids, holding a boundary with someone who's used to you not having one.You've done the work. The retreats, the books, the coaching. And the pattern is still there. The Invisible Edge Foundation 1:1 Coaching is where that changes. Six sessions, one-on-one, body-based belief work that gets underneath what nothing else has touched. bfreakingawesome.com/invisible-edge-foundationSupport the showSign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram.Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at [email protected].