TillumTipToeJoom.com, the podcast about pop culture, black history, and spirituality. It's about to be a great part. Dr. Tipp, come and take it away.
Tillum Tipp ToeJoom. Hey y'all, hey, thank you for joining me for another edition of Tillum Tipp ToeJoom. It's your girl, Tipp. Listen y'all.
Okay, so can I get an applause for being more consistent? Yay! That's two weeks in a row. I am on a row.
I need your support. Make sure you give me a five star review and send me an email at Dr. Tipp at Tillum Tipp ToeJoom and big up my consistency. I am working on it y'all and I am ultra proud of myself.
I am so proud of myself. You don't even know. So let's run down what we are going to talk about today. I want to go back to this Kanye conversation just because he was recently at Joel Osteen's church and I want to talk about that.
We got to talk about the NFL, JZ, and his Kaepernick workout. And then I want to give you my birthday reflections. If you follow the blog over at www.tillumtipptoe.com, you know I traditionally do interview year and birthday reflections and this year because I am trying to be more consistent on the podcast, I'm dedicating the time that I would normally use writing that reflection list and recording it for you. Especially because I think a number of my friends are in the same category.
I want to get my head on myself. We'll get there in just a second. So let's go back to this Kanye thing. I almost caught him cune.
That's probably more apropos. But anyway, I'm a PK. Some of you know that. I'm a prechusky.
My father's a Baptist minister. I grew up going to church two or three times a week. Although I consider myself Christian plus now. So I still believe in the basic tenets of Black Christianity and I'm a liberation theology person but I also do some other things that are family lineage type stuff.
I am always ultra protective of how religion of any kind is often used to distract people. Karl Marx called it an opioid of the people. It's about distraction. It keeps people from paying attention to things they really should be paying attention to.
And I am increasingly irritated that Black folk are bigging up this Kanye in the Sunday soul service foolishness. One, if you listen to a good gospel choir on a regular basis, I don't know what you're getting out of this kind of thing because it's just a good gospel choir. I mean, really you're that cheap. That's all it takes is a good song.
It's a nice hominys. Go to any big Black first, Bethel, first AME. I'm just throwing out some hard churches and names. You need ease.
On a first Sunday when the best choir singing you'll get music just as good. If not better because it's more authentic. I just I don't want us to be that easily bought and sold. It seems as if some of us are so easily distracted by the glitz and glamor of this phenomenon that we're not paying attention to the fact that it's a wolf in sheep's clothing.
The New Testament talks about the deceiver coming and folding people, right? I'm not at the point where I'm ready to call Kanye the deceiver. But I am saying if this was a trial run for deceiver, some of y'all are so easily distracted from the other words that comes out this man's mouth. For example, when he was on stage with Osteen, and that's not a pulpit to me, that's a stage.
So I said the right word, anyway, when he was on stage with Osteen, he talked about how being Christian had taken arrogance and conceived away from him. And then in the very next sentence, he says, now that greatest artist that God has created is for him. Is anybody paying attention to this? We are watching this man have a mental health issue, a mental health break or mental health episode.
I don't know, just my undergrad degree is a psychology. I don't pretend to know this stuff. And I won't pretend to diagnose him. I think that's dangerous.
But I will say something ain't right with the brother. And far too many of us are following the piper. If we didn't learn from the R. Kelly situation, I don't understand how we keep following for the same foolishness.
Who's still following? I just don't understand. Y'all got to help me understand. Somebody send me an email that can help me unpack this.
And if you want to be on the show and take the opposite perspective, I would love that. If you go to the website, you can click be a guest and I'll have you on. Because we really have to interrogate what is happening to the psyche when one follows someone like Kanye, who is so disrespect. Like at this point, I would be afraid to even listen to Kanye's album because of the things he said about my ancestors.
Right? I feel like there's some consequences for saying some shit like slavery was a choice. I feel like there's some realistic spiritual consequences for that foolishness. And although I do believe that God can use anybody and anything, I don't believe that we should be supporting just anybody and anything.
I said last week and I'll say this week, the Bible is clear. You should shake the dust from your feet when you know someone is not of the... I just can't with y'all. I can't with y'all.
All right. Which is akin to this Stephen A. Smith response to Colin Kaepernick's workout this Saturday. Okay.
So here's the deal, right? If you've been under a rock, Colin Kaepernick was contacted by the... The team was contacted by the NFL to do a workout. I've been boycotting the NFL, so I really don't.
And although I watched the game, I was never a behind the scenes type what's going on in sports person. But from what I understand, from my conversations with people who are behind the scenes type people, and from what I've been reading in independent news sources, the NFL offered Kaepernick a workout. Now from what I understand, it was an unconventional offer in that it was scheduled for a Saturday in the middle of football season. Now I do know enough to know that Sunday football is a big thing.
And so most coaches are going to be preparing for a game. They're not going to be thinking about a workout seriously, right? So the fact that it was scheduled for a Saturday was problematic in and of itself. The short notice was problematic in and of itself.
Any of us that has ever gone on a job interview at the last minute knows that we always feel like it's a setup. So I don't understand why we wouldn't go anywhere. The last minute scheduled, right? And then comes to find out he was given this waiver to sign.
And the waiver itself is posted online now. I saw it on Twitter a couple of times, different people had it up. The waiver he was given to sign is not the traditional waiver that's usually given to someone who's doing a workout. Usually, the waiver that they're given is a simple liability waiver where if you've got hurt you know, you wouldn't hold the owners or the league responsible for your injuries, et cetera, et cetera.
But this particular waiver also would sign away Kaepernick's rights to future collusion cases. Let's be clear, right? For those of you who said that Jay-Z was playing chess, no, this wasn't a tenth of chess where you think the brother is so hung and there's less than a year somewhere about desperation. I'm going to get there in just a minute.
But there is something about thinking this brother is so desperate to play in your league that you think he's going to be dumb enough not to have an attorney, a well-paid attorney and informed attorney with scruples look over the contracts you want him to sign. So that was problematic as well. So the fact that it was a Saturday, the fact that it was short notice, the fact that you tried to get him to sign this unconventional waiver and the fourth that you would not even tell him who was going to be. I ain't never been a little driving interview and I don't know who I'm interviewing for.
I'm just going to put that out there. So the fact that they would not release to him a list of the individuals who would be present. And the fifth is that it was going to be closed to the media and there would be no cameras except that of the NFL. Now, for those of us who have a teaching little bit of media literacy, then we understand how dangerous it is for someone to have all of the film footage from this workout, right?
Because then I could edit it in such a way that every time he drops off every time he fumble the bass, every time he looks uncomfortable and just splice all those together and then just declare the workout a bust, right? And there would be no way for him to control the narrative if all of the information is in the hands of people who've already settled the case for collusion against him, right? So we already know their nature. It would have been idiotic and an act of desperation for Kaepernick to go through with the workout the way it was put on the table.
But let me tell you how the brother shows us what real agency looks like. Kujijaka Lega, self-determination. Let me show you. He gave us a quonsalefist lesson before quons, y'all.
He showed us what self-determination looks like rather than go back home, take his bar, go back home and pout. The brother says, you know what? I'm going to do a workout. And let me tell you how I love sisters.
So it was two sisters, the president and the vice president of the school board in Clayton County that gave him a stadium to work out in. This is why it was moved from Flowrie Branch to the real A to Clayton County, all right? So he, for those of us from In and Around Metro Atlanta or who have lived in and around Metro Atlanta, we know what Riverdale is and what it represents. And the fact that this black school board supported him and having this workout.
And that throughout the interview, about the workout, he keeps saying the people, the people, the people, the people, let me tell you, y'all want to be a Sunday soul service. That was Saturday soul service right there with brother Kaepernick did for us, right? He showed us what agency and self-determination is supposed to look like. He controls his own narrative.
He had his own, everybody say something about Stephen A. Smith. Stephen A. Smith, if you, I've never been a fan.
I've always thought he was stepping and fetching it, shucking and jabbing it. And he is true to that. He's been true to that. He's been changed for him to say that canceling the NFL workout is a sign that Kaepernick doesn't want to play is to ignore all the facts on the table.
For what purpose would we ignore those facts? Let me tell you, there are always going to be some black folk Harriet with a shot. And we got to stop paying him attention. Stop paying him attention.
We need one of the bracelets. We need, who would Harriet shoot? W.W.H.S. Somebody make that, I'm going to make that t-shirt.
W.W.H.S. Who would Harriet shoot? Because then we don't argue with them and we don't give them Twitter follows or clicks and none of that. And Stephen A.
Smith is one of those people. I am very, Eric Reid gave us a lesson in what it looks like to be a friend, right? To be an activist who supports comrades. That's what Eric Reid showed us.
So I'm telling you Saturday had my heart awful. I also had some personal fun on Saturday. But you know, hey, I celebrated my birthday. I'm getting to the birthday reflections in just a second.
But let's finish up on Kaepernick. Whether or not this brother gets to play again, and I don't even want to say gets to play because it sounds like it's a reward. Whether or not this brother ever plays in the league again, he has shown himself to be an athlete of the people. And for that, I will always love him.
We have to remember what he sacrificed and what he sacrificed for. He sacrificed for the people. Yeah, I'm so proud of him. My heart just burst open.
I'm so proud of him. I don't know what to do. Alright, so let me get to these birthday reflections. I have three major reflections.
Oh, I wanted to go back and talk about desperation. Some of us can't say no, and we are taking advantage of because of that. Right? Here's what I mean by that.
And I think when we watch Kaepernick's story, it might step on our feet a little bit. Let me tell you what I mean by that. There was a point, some of you have heard me talk about my ex before. He was an alcoholic.
He was emotionally abusive. He was not financially sharing the burden of a household. All of these things, and the question comes, okay, Tiffany, if he was so bad, why did you stay? And part of the reason I stayed was because I was desperate for companionship.
And I put with things that I did not have to put up with simply because I did not have faith in myself to do and to be better than that. Right? And when we are at a point like that, then people can manipulate our behavior and take advantage of us. And Kaepernick was desperate for a job, desperate for external validation, because I'm sure for an athlete, having an NFL football athlete, having an NFL contract, somehow lends to your validity of your elite athletic ability.
But the fact that this brother doesn't need that external validation, he doesn't need the job. Right? He doesn't need the external applause. He doesn't need the approval of the lead.
That puts him in a place of being empowered to make decisions that are simply the best for himself and for the community. And too many of us are operating in a way where we have not recognized our full value and potential. And because we have not recognized nor laid claim to our full value and potential, we are in a state of desperation that allows other people to offer us pennies, to offer us 10 minutes of a WYD text. Right?
And we follow head over heels for less than we deserve because we have not created that internal validation for our own work and value. And so there's another kind of lesson in this Kaepernick workout scenario. Right? In what ways are we ready to create our own platforms to celebrate and explore our own expertise?
Rather than being on someone else's stage for peanuts, right? We have got to move towards creating our own venues, creating our own institutions, creating our own systems of internal validation so that we are no longer manipulated by people in power. Right? That's again, this is a lesson, a quanza, a quanza, a self-determination.
Self-determination comes from understanding that your self has worth. All right, so let me just go into the birthday reflections because it's part of this. So I was listening to the Secret to Success podcast. I don't remember what episode it was.
So if somebody knows what episode it was, should be an email, I can add it to the show notes. But they were on there the other day and they talked about how in any sport, I think particularly they were talking about, specifically they were talking about basketball football, but in any sport at the half point, right, at halftime, a good coach, whether their team is winning or losing half-time adjustments, right? Based on prior performance, you make adjustments to that performance so that you can excel in a second half. And at this point, I turned 46 on the 14th, yay.
I did the Charlie Brown's year, you know, the two handed it anyway. You couldn't see it, so I don't know why I did it. I turned 46 and this year has been a year of making notes of what the adjustments need to be and this particular quarter, Q4 of 2019, has been me beginning to make those adjustments. Because see, let me tell you something.
I don't think when we talk about halftime, right, a good coach is, yes, sharing what adjustments needs to be made, but the attitude in the locker room has to make the adjustment before the players hit the court or the field, right? So I didn't wait until January 1, 2020 to implement some of these changes because the mindset has to be created before I hit the court or the field. So if I play it on running, fill out in 2020, I have to start ramping up in 2019. Does that make sense?
And so I am consciously making my halftime adjustments. I don't want my life to be what it presently is. You know, that's self-determination thing again. So now I know what I'm naming today's podcast, right?
It's gonna be about self-determination. But quanza in November, self-determination, right? But let me write that down because that was kind of cute. Quanza in November.
I'm corny like that, I'm sorry. All right, so, and then I lost my transition thought. But it's about having agency. What I realized is that for a buck of my life, part of the reason I dropped out of fam, part of the reason that I left corporate America before I gave a real shot, part of the reason some of my relationships have been what they have been, is because I kind of have, one of my patterns was just to float through life, right?
When you learn how to work your talents in a certain kind of way, life can be very easy. And if you're not strategic about the ease, you just look kind of like a boat on ocean with no rudder. You're just kind of moving at the druthers of the waves and the wind, right? The waves in the wind are in control, not you.
And that's how much of my 46 years have been lived. It's just me exploiting my gifts and my talents in such a way that has allowed me to just kind of drift pretty comfortably, right? There have been a couple of storms like my ex, but nothing that has shaken me to the point where I don't know how I'm going forward. But I have not had, I was on the sleep is for suckers, Mastermind called this morning and David with David Shains and he said, he talked about a target, right?
And he talked about whenever he sees a basketball goal, that he's looking for a ball to shoot. So having a target makes one want to be productive. And what I realized, not only in this morning's Mastermind called, but over the last year of me just reflecting on where I am, is I have not had the target. Like I was having a conversation with a friend of mine Saturday and I said, you know, my parents want me to go to law school.
And so when I was a fan, I really had no, but that might be one of the reasons, one of the reasons that I partied by way out of school was I didn't have a goal. I got to have a target. I wasn't even really aiming towards graduation, which is probably why I didn't. I was just asking because that's what I was supposed to be.
I thought, right? I wonder how many of us, how many of you listening are in a job with no end goal, like retirement and even your end goal. You have just settled into resignation just to resign into the fact that this is your life and it is what it is, like that phrase, it is what it is. So you get up and you go to work every day and you really don't have a goal for why you get up to go to work every day, except that you got to pay bills, right?
And because we don't have that target, we are just at the drutters of the wind in the waves. We just, we don't have direction. We're just floating. And so part of my halftime adjustment is to be more deliberate and intentional about short-term, mid-term and long-term goals.
Like what are my goals? So if you follow me on Instagram, I'm going to start posting my Monday goals, right? My Monday just that day. I, Monday, you'll start to see it every day, but one day I'm going to sit down on Mondays and post my goals for that day and show what short-term goals look like.
Now my short-term goals, if you've ever done my after vision board workshop, and you know, I say once you create those short-term goals, they should feed into mid-term goals and you should have a five-year plan. And every day your to-do list should have some representative of a component of your five-year plan, right? I'm going to be, here's my capitol thing. I'm going to be hosting an event sometime in February to make that program more real.
So make sure your notifications are on for my Instagram, Facebook, you can find me at Tiffany D.P.D. or Teletot told you. And I'll share that with you. So adjustments that have are important.
I don't want anybody today, let today be the day you decide what it is your in this for. What it is your in this for? Whatever it is. Don't just be in it because you're in it.
So if you're a software analyst for a company, is that your in-game or are you just doing it because you feel like it's what you have to do? Five years from now, do you want to be that person? If you don't want to be that person, then right down what you want to be and let's figure out what the steps are to get there. But don't just, the winning the waves, they're fun to look at, but they're not fun to have ready life, right?
So that's one. I make my adjustments that have. Part of that is once I, I was going to say that this came as a result of one, but I'm thinking actually two, led my one. So let me give you number two.
Number two is betting on self. So this year, my birthday reflection was about how often have I bet on myself? And the answer was not often. So Q4 2019, I've been betting on myself in a way that I never had before.
What do I mean by that? I know that I have, and I don't want this to sound arrogant because I want you two to think about what you have, right? So I know that I have a very specific skill set that God gave me. I can refine it.
I can hone it, but I do know I was born with it, right? Part of it is teaching. I'm not going to ask the teacher by birth. I refine my skills.
My students will tell you I refine things. I ask them how things are going for them. I ask for feedback in my teaching practice. I'm always trying to learn new professional development activities and things like that so that I can continue to hone my craft.
But I know that's a God given talent. I have not bet on that talent. Do you understand what some of you have a talent for art and you've not really going to fall out and bet on yourself in that. So you're not invested in studio space or you've not invested in having art shows for yourself.
You haven't even invested in a website, right? Some of us are good with children. We're so good with children. We've not invested in an education degree or that daycare licensure, right?
Because we are afraid of our talents or we're unsure about them. We're uncertain about them, but we don't bet on ourselves. And this quarter I have decided to start betting on myself. I am financially, you know, if you've been listening to a podcast, you know, I've moved back into my parents' home and which is freed up a little money, not a whole lot of money because of student loans, that's some bullshit.
It's freed up some money, right? I am investing in one of my talents in a way right now that I have never, I need you to get that, never financially invested in myself. And part of that is betting on my talent, betting on my ability. And the faith is not only, because some of us have problems having faith in yourself.
So let me give you the cheat code. I don't necessarily have 100% faith in Tiffany. I do have 100% faith in Tiffany. My ancestors and die.
I do have 100% faith that all three of us, three, the ancestors represent one of three. Anyway, you know what I mean. I do believe that together these forces can come together and make me successful, right? That belief is what sent me into my halftime adjustment.
Does that make sense to you? So I want you to think about how you can start investing in yourself. What does that look like? It might look like going back to school after I told y'all I said, I said, I have 10 years.
You want to go back to school? You need me to help you. We'll figure some shit out. I'll tell you what it's like to be a 30 year old in a room full of 17, 18 year olds.
It's hard, but you can do it. It is doable. The pivot is possible, right? The pivot is like, I'm making t-shirts today.
Let me write that down. The pivot is possible. Now I don't know if I want to, I might name a podcast that. The pivot is possible.
All right. So that's number two. You got a bit on yourself. Number three is the one that I suffer with and I continue to suffer with, but I'm working on it.
And that is we have got to extend to ourselves the same kind of equality and quantity of grace that we extend to others. What do I mean by that? Listen y'all, I can't tell you how many times I have told my students to bet on themselves. I have told my students that a pivot is possible.
I have told some of my coaching clients that a pivot is possible and necessary. I have told some people I've given reading through that the, that spirit is behind them and all they got to do is step out on faith. I have done those. I've told people that they need to forgive themselves for certain things.
Has Tiffany extended that same kind of grace and loving support to herself? Not always. Not always. So number three that extending grace to others, it requires a lot of reflection, a lot of reflection.
So I've gone back into the daily journaling. I'm, I'm, because of some other things that I'm doing, I'm trying to do more voice memos to myself, things like that, just to make me think through how I would talk to someone else having the experience that I'm having. Because it's often easier to extend grace to other people. It's not so easy to extend the same kind of grace and forgiveness to oneself.
All right. So those are my three major birthday reflections. The adjustments that they have, y'all, make sure you're making those adjustments. Bet on yourself, investing yourself, do what you have to do and three extend the same grace to yourself that you do to others.
So that's all I really want to cover today. I got it. And it's two weeks in a row. I don't know what to do.
I feel like I need a two week party, right? I'm going to cash at me for some drinks. My girlfriend, Amina, thank you Amina for my birthday drinks. Cash at me some money for birthday drinks.
Somebody celebrate with me and cash at me for some two week in a row. I'm just playing. But for real, if you've enjoyed today's episode, I invite you to leave me a positive review. Please share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.
And if I can do anything for you, make sure you shoot me an email at Dr. Tip at Tellum2Told you. Have a good with me, y'all. Take care.
Today's episode of Tellum2Told you is brought to you by the Freshman Boot Camp. Freshman Boot Camp is an online course designed to help first year college students make the adjustment to college life and be successful. You can learn more at www.poeeducationconsulting.com or put a link in the show note for you.