EP49: I Survived 46 Years of Trauma Living in Survival Mode

April shares that 46 years of her life were defined by abuse, trauma, addiction, and eight marriages, shaped by childhood sexual abuse that began at age four and continued into her teens, leaving her believing her only value was sexual. She describes living in survival responses like freeze and fawn, being gaslit throughout her life, and entering relationship after relationship seeking safety for herself and her six children. She explains how her understanding of God shifted from her LDS upbringing to experiencing God as unconditional love, truth, and intuition, and how that connection helped her reclaim her identity, set boundaries, and gain sovereignty over her body. She reflects on her daughter Macy’s death in a murder-suicide as a turning point that opened her eyes to patterns of abuse and the importance of acknowledging mental illness, while emphasizing hope, choice, and not giving up.00:00 Life of Trauma00:41 Finding God Within02:37 Survival Modes Explained06:36 Gaslighting and Breaking Point10:07 Trusting Intuition15:20 Turning Pain Into Purpose20:10 Light and Dark Choices25:56 Childhood Abuse Patterns29:04 Reclaiming Body Sovereignty31:14 Choosing to Keep Living Check out Irene Cares on other platforms:- Irenegpt.ai- Instagram- TikTok- Youtube