EP62. Dr. David Wen | Parenting ADHD Kids & Teens: Practical Tips for Navigating Challenges & Defiance, Breaking Conflict Patterns

In this episode, I grill my colleague, clinical child psychologist Dr. David Wen, on some of the hardest questions I've received from parents of kids and teens with ADHD over the years, including consequences, rewards, privileges, and what the heck to do when your child simply won't listen and doesn't care.***Dr. David Wen is a licensed clinical psychologist at Hope+Wellness who specializes in working with children, parents, and fathers. He brings clinical expertise and lived experience to his work, supporting dads and parents in showing up in ways that feel meaningful, even in the face of real-world parenting challenges. His approach is grounded in evidence-based therapy and delivered with a style that is warm, direct, and attuned to both parents and children. Learn more: https://www.hope-wellness.com/david-wen-psydTIMESTAMPS00:00:30 Intro – meet Dr. David Wen00:01:00 Inner calling – why work with kids00:02:00 Undiagnosed ADHD until grad school00:03:00 The biting story – learning social norms00:05:00 ADHD challenges – energy & overload00:08:00 ADHD & self-esteem – "I'm the problem"00:10:00 Teaching social norms – repetition & rewards00:12:00 Credit card analogy – making consequences tangible00:13:00 What if kids don't care about consequences?00:14:00 Rewards that work – privileges & money00:16:00 Not earning = learning – reframing consequences00:35:00 Child enjoys defying you – regulate yourself first00:37:00 Breaking the conflict pattern – the angry shadow trick00:39:00 Anxious parents & over-control00:41:00 Electronics & teens – teaching healthy use00:43:00 Parenting has no manual – why parents struggle00:44:00 1-2-3 Magic – best book for parents00:46:00 Warnings & privilege removal for teens00:47:00 Teen won't do homework – defiance or something deeper?00:50:00 ADHD brain sees the gray areas00:52:00 Get to know your kid – observe & ask00:54:00 Bond over their interests – why kids listen00:55:00 Serial killer map – how David's ADHD brain works00:56:00 Two different brains – parent vs. child00:57:00 Three S's – Safety, Structure, Support00:59:00 Amplify the three S's for ADHD kids01:01:00 #1 tip for ADHD parents – consistency01:03:00 Be open to medication01:04:00 Parental intuition – innate or learned?01:05:00 Natural bond with your baby – myth or real?01:07:00 Can all parents learn to parent well?01:09:00 Values-based parenting01:10:00 Define your values – parenting north star01:11:00 OutroPODCAST LINKSWebsite: www.innercalling.orgApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/innercalling/id1809177408Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4K2khwqNKgs90Hs8vrQenZ?si=ad3d2dbeceab49c4Podcast Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_zIrjdevY1Q91PX5woaNtjTDvell1ZJ8CONTACT DR. VICTORIA HEREDr. Victoria Ranade: www.victoriaranade.comIG: https://www.instagram.com/drvictoriaranadeHope+Wellness: https://www.hope-wellness.com* * * *WHAT IS INNERCALLING?INNERCALLING is a podcast dedicated to the belief that there is a light inside you of profound power, beauty, and wisdom that no darkness can ever overcome. It's a space where mental health meets spirituality, where explore timeless questions about existence, and what it deeply means to be human in this technological age.Inspired by the field of clinical psychology, which values what happens simply when two people sit together and talk about life and all its beauty and complications, conversations are organic and spontaneous, like jazz.WHO IS DR. VICTORIA?Hi there, I'm Dr. Victoria Ranade. I'm a board certified licensed clinical psychologist, writer, and podcaster deeply passionate about mental health, spirituality, existential psychology, and questions related to how to hold onto our humanity in the face of AI and technology.✌🏼💛I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU. SEND ME ANY MAIL OR QUESTIONS HERE:[email protected]#mentalhealth #drvictoriaranade #innercallingpodcast #drdavidwenDisclaimer: https://innercalling.org/disclaimer Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.