Epic Universe - 20 Years of Coaster Radio Paid Off Today

It finally happened. After years of aerial photographs, land speculation, and breathless anticipation, Mike and EB walk through the gates of Universal Epic Universe — and it does not disappoint.   Well, mostly. Stardust Racers is still closed, Yoshi's Adventure is aggressively just a Yoshi that meanders, and someone on Twitter says the whole thing might need to be torn down. But other than that? Top five park day. Tom from Louisville said so himself, and Tom from Louisville has been to a lot of parks.   Mike and EB go portal by portal through the whole thing — 1920s Paris at Ministry of Magic (280-minute wait; they waited 20. We said what we said.), Le Cirque Arcanus with the magic tent that's bigger on the inside, Bowser's Challenge being better than advertised, Donkey Kong Country being exactly as fun as a cartoon mine cart should be, Hiccup's Wing Gliders being a surprise contender for ride of the trip, and Monsters Unchained delivering actual honest-to-God jump scares in a theme park.   They also discovered that the Burning Blade Tavern serves drinks in a beaker with what may or may not be microplastics in it. It was delicious.   Plus: Seven Six Flags parks are sold for $342 million — less than the cost of a highway overpass. Disney's parks get a new worldwide president, and they hope he lives long enough to be a hero. Muppet Vision 3D is going to VR, a decision that exactly zero people are satisfied with. And Barracuda Strike opens at SeaWorld San Antonio — the family invert where the artwork shows the track going underwater, but the track does not go underwater.