Episode 009 – 10 Tips for Emotional Regulation

Summary: In Episode 009, Joseph lists the 10 tips for emotional regulation. Every day is filled with its stressors and we’re left with the question—how do we respond? Do we let our emotions guide or lead our response or do we have control over our emotions? Emotional dysregulation—like getting upset—is a very common occurrence for all of us. In this podcast, Joseph will give us a more rounded view of how to perceive our emotions and the ways in which we can better regulate them—for your benefit and for the benefit of your relationships, too. Time Stamped Show Notes: 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast 00:28 – Today’s topic: 10 Tips for Emotional Regulation 00:55 – There are different levels of emotional dysregulation 01:13 – “Emotions come and go, but they feel so strong” 01:23 – Emotion comes from the root “motion” which means movement, they are there to guide us, push us, and motivate us to action 01:48 – Be aware that emotion comes from the amygdala – the body’s alarm system 02:30 – We can slow emotions down in order to decipher what’s worth reacting to and what needs to be controlled better 02:50 – “Emotions are a temporary state of mind, don’t let them permanently destroy you” – Anonymous 03:00 – 10 Ways to Keep Yourself Emotionally Regulated o03:11 – Want to print out this list? Go toMind Your Mind o03:34 – #1 Buy time and take a break o04:38 – #2 Identify your needs o05:07 – #3 Call out what’s going on o05:35 – #4 Break it down o06:14 – #5 Distract yourself o06:37 – #6 Choose the higher road o07:29 – #7 GIVE in regards to relationships—be Gentle, Interested, Validate, be Easy o08:13 – #8 DEAR MAN—which describes how to be objective in difficult times—Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce & Mindful, Associate, Negotiate (Dr. Marsha Linehan) o09:24 – #9 Accept yourself while rising to the challenge o09:54 – #10 Seek outside help 10:26 – The more time you have, the more you calm down 10:35 – Quarantine the issue – don’t exaggerate it 10:51 – Learn from your past mistakes and past successes 11:25 – Send your questions toMind Your Mind 11:33 – Question from Brittany in UK, “Joe, I find myself having extreme mood swings daily and feel out of control to manage them. Will therapy help me?”– Joseph believes in therapy. When you’re working with a therapist, ask them about their past experience. Identify the behaviors that you’re doing that are getting in the way and causing the mood swings. Discuss what’s at stake that will encourage you to make a change. 12:41 – End of this week’s podcast! 3 Key Points: Our emotions are a part of us and act as signals to us, but they can, with training,be regulated and not become out of control. You DON’T have to react in the heat of the moment and emotion – give yourself time to process. Our past successes and failures are our greatest teachers – if there are triggers in a relationship that cause dysregulated emotions, STOP that behavior and do what works. Resources Calming the Emotional Storm - book with solid tips and skillshttps://www.amazon.com/Calming-Emotional-Storm-Dialectical-Behavior/dp/1608820874/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491445932&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=calmiung+the+emotonal+storm DBT Skills Workbook - Joseph’s favorite book on emotional regulation.https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1491445922&sr=8-3&keywords=dbt+skills